Made it to 6 months!

Evening

Yesterday marked the milestone that me and jack have made it to 6 months 
6 months without killing one another!
i hope he sticks around for another 6 month ><

I stayed over at jack's last night

I went over to see him around 3pm
we went to his mum's house for his sister's birthday
we were there til like 8pm when jack decided to fetch my shoes
as his younger sister was getting out family photo albums XD
ahhh ive seen cute little pictures of jack
i like seeing people my age younger as you can tell a 90's child
i like see what toys and clothes they had as i usually had the same XD
so yeah to say he was keen to leave was an understatement 
and he now wants to see photos of me as a kid or any photos for that matter
he has seen nothing of my past and i plan on keeping it that way!

we picked up food on the way back and had that when we got to his place
to find theo james and brandon there ready to start the night out
as it was a rainy day we opted out of the suit and dress code thing
later harvey joined us and we played some random german card game of brandons
i didnt find it enjoyable but then i dont enjoy board or card games
we went out and jack brought me a non-alcoholic drink
theo saw me drinking it and took it off me thinking it was alcohol XD
think everyone is a bit scarred from me that night
we had a drink in a bar then headed for a club....

i have never been to a club before and nor do i want to repeat such experiences
it was awful like just awful
so loud and full of people
i coped at first
but after midnight i just couldnt hold it together any longer
i felt mental to say the least
any longer in that place and i think i would have changed  as i couldnt hack anymore
jack took me outside for air but it didnt help so we went home
i felt so bad and stupid taking him away from it all even tho i never actually asked to go home
and i said i could go by myself but he said he hates clubs anyhow

on the way home my head was a total mess
i had had enough
every little sound i was alert to and yeah i just wanted to change and not feel or think
jack made me look at him and told me i could do it and get home as myself
and i did
we pretty much went to bed after we got home
i was shattered

in the morning as usual it takes some time to motivate jack
but good job i did as we had to go meet his dad and his family
we met up and went to a chinese 
im not particularly fond of chinese but managed a bit to eat
it was his dad, step mum, 17 year old step sister and 8 year old half brother
half brother didnt have an issue with and his step sister was kinda ok
his dad was nice actually
but im guessing his step mum didnt like me as she never once spoke to me
and when i looked at her she looked away
ive shown my face now and proved to his dad that jack is not gay
and i pretty much am  not in a rush to spend time with them again
definitely prefer his mum's side which he does too

we came away and i went home
id had enough of noise, people.
i just needed time alone
in the end i went to sleep 
id had enough
i pleased ozwald before i went to sleep bless him he was happy to see me
mum has bathed the pigs so theyre soft too
cus my god they stunk like farm yard pigs

i got up and went for a walk
then had a shower and dinner now here doing diary
im gonna sit with oz and go to bed
not sure how i will sleep
i have come to conclusion that upping my pain relief has not helped and that i need to reduce it back to how it was as its messing with my antidepressant far too much
im going pain clinic on monday so i will see what they say

tomorrow id like to start the jacket as i pretty much have all i need :3