Random depressive episode

Evening

Yesterday was bloody awful
cried for soooo many hours it was stupid
and worst of all i have no idea why i was even crying!
just so much sadness
i had jack worrying and asking what was up
i had mum asking what was up
it was like they didnt believe me that there was nothing wrong
mum was saying "you cant be crying like this over nothing"
but if i cant tell what the problem is how can i expect others to understand
i tried so hard all day to fight it off too...
i went to bed looking dreadful 

when i woke up for work
my god my reflection...
red swollen puffy eye lids
pale face
purple lips
tired eyes
jesus....
i had a lot of miracle work to do in the make up department
i wore bright pink eye shadow to mask the redness of my eye lids
and i wore a lip tint to give my lips colour

work was fine
it was fine yesterday too to be honest
it was tiring tho i feel like im struggling from monday onwards 
i did have a 20min long chat to head of science about stuff
i didnt quite tell him whats wrong but i said i had troubles
and that im concerned about my health this upcoming winter
so we spoke about it and it was all positive and he wants to help
so we're putting an action plan together
im gonna draw one up with jack and then see if jack will join me next week to talk 
to head of science
just stuff to try take a bit of pressure off me
but i dont ever want special treatment or to be treated differently

i had science club at the end of the day
we were making volcanoes so this morning i happily made my own 
obviously as an example for the children XD
but yeah i helped out getting my hands messy in paper mache
unlike the two teachers in the room who didnt want to touch the stuff!

i came home to find the girls running around in the hall
mum had already sent me a txt saying how stressful they were in the morning XD
truffle is getting to big for her boots
shes got right attitude i cant believe it
i was encouraging them into the kitchen X3

i did some yoga
followed by a little bit of dancing
i want to learn 'the vision' by morning musume as it looks challenging and quite controlled too you certainly need strength and id like to know if i can do it

tomorrow is school and nothing special really
think its the start of many potato practicals
so im gonna fetch more sodding potatoes before school

here is two mascaras i brought - so cheap 
one lengthens and the other is good for keeping curls