I woke up pretty late after having a restless night
i woke up feeling awful
hoping the 10 tablets i start my day would help me i went downstairs for them
to find the girls running around the hall X3
i saw on my phone that Jack had been woken up at 7am by his sisters XD
he didnt get a lay in and he'd already opened stuff
he loved everything i did for him ^^
after taking my meds i felt worse
and this was not how i wanted to spend my christmas!
i had my special breakfast and then laid on my bed
my brother was saying how it didnt feel like christmas
it was 10am and i hadnt heard a christmas song or anything
my dad was doing his usual every day routine like it wasnt christmas
and was happy to announce he had made it to 10am without putting the tv or radio on
like he thinks its an achievement to make it feel as unfestive as he can for everyone
anyway at this point we decided to open presents
i got some nice bits
jack had brought me a lucky cat you put in the microwave to warm you up
tara brought me pokemon stationary, face packs and a cake thing
mia brought me a hug box of body washes, hot chocolate i love, and a car smelly i love
my brother had thoughtfully brought me some bulbs to go in my car so and hes fitted them so now my car glows purple pink and blue when i open it up X3 and he brought me lion king as i think he wants me to see it
mum had brought me new pyjamas, socks, slippers, a key chain
karen a little needle felt kit and a mug
probably my most unusual present was that from my cousin
which is also my birthday present from february but she couldnt send it
an amazing card
a doll she has given a new hair style too and made a kimono for
and a vulpix plushie
the doll is amazing and so weird
i cant stop looking at her its just so weird and unique
so yeah i got some nice pieces
after we opened stuff i headed to bed cus i felt so rotten and had no one please
id also, like my mum, had enough of dad already
i got up and went for a walk
i came in and had a brew and then a shower
took a few christmas photos as id drawn sparkles on my face so i wanted to photograph it
went on my laptop
helped mum with the dinner
stayed out of dad's way
had dinner which was hard work in dad's presence
died of stomach pains
but still had the sponge and custard we have every year
i forced it down me but it was so damn good
my brother went to his girlfriends for the night im a little envious of him
i could have gone and saw jack but im tired and cant face looking happy for people
he says his parents, nan and sisters have all got me gifts tho
later mum came to talk to me about how hard work dad is
and i told her im not staying here next christmas as its been so depressing
that i'll be anywhere but here. i only stayed this year out of loyalty to her
she said she's going to look into a marriage councillor...
so you know youve had a cracking family christmas when thats mentioned
but something does need to be done
he brings the whole house down
he didnt buy anyone anything or even look grateful for his gifts
but its not just christmas its every day family life
its hard with him but on days like this it feels extra effort when it shouldnt
i feel he's ruined my christmas in a way
hes barely even spoken to me
but its done now
done for another whole year
next year i might go japan for christmas
anywhere but here
but my poor mum...
anyway ive got a whole year before i have to go through it again
tomorrow it's mias 28th birthday
and i will go visit her ^^
and i think jack wants to see me
so i shall see how the day goes
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