First day of school 2020

Evening

Jo is dead.....

I slept semi-well i guess
i had bad dreams which seems to be a theme lately
my parents said i was coughing a lot in the night but i dont recall that
so i must have been choking in my sleep 
i was awake at 5am almost like my subconscious mind didnt trust the alarm to go off

getting ready for school felt so alien like i hadnt done it in months
when its only been two weeks
i didnt feel too bad when i first got up
i had a turkey pattie for breakfast
woo starting the day with meat
i felt rotten tho but i was going 
as i started to drive tho my dizziness came back full on
i think it was my tablets had kicked in and yeah i felt like crap
saw jack and he looked instantly concerned

i couldnt even be bothered to look happy for people
and they said i sounded full of cold and looked rough
i got on with my day i took breaks and didnt do loads
i tended to my plants that looked quite wilted :(
but what made me happy was that i had managed to grow bacteria! 
it worked! i though it hadnt but i think it just needed longer to grow
i printed off my phantom and stuck it on the fridge it looks really good and cheers me up
but did start feeling unwell i had to practically lay down at one point

then at 2pm me and jack decided to take the rubbish out
he said he was fine by himself but i wanted the air
we got in the lift with the trolley and it opened up and outside - not waiting for the lift - were staff members were close to, and what did i decide to do? practically fainted i mean i could have probably passed out a few seconds
just legs went body went i had them all lending a hand getting me laid out on the floor whilst i shivered and shook away
i was wheel chaired off to the nurse's office -___- this is not how i wanted to start my term
i told people i havent been well and they all say the same thing "why did you come in?" 
cus its work and normality and ive spent enough of my holidays pinned up in my room in my bed cus im poorly all the time. i want to go to work. i want to continue with my life
instead of giving in and letting sickness rule my life
so i stayed on the nurse's couch (which i am very familiar with now) for 90 mins
by which time it was almost home time anyway
so cus i didnt want to involve my parents i told them i was driving home
jack didnt look happy and nether did chris and chris went to fetch me biscuits
ah biscuits i remember those
i actually didnt want them tho i wanted to be good
but i needed to get home
so i ate a few i cant say i even enjoyed them 
jack decided to come home with me and take the bus home
he felt better doing that
my driving was alright i was just exhausted


so we got back to here and had a brew and a sit
and jack decided to go home
he and chris both said i best not dare turn up tomorrow
life sucks its gonna be so boring being home alone all day

i made stir fry for dinner minus the noodles of course
but i enjoyed it as it was a meal with out sweet potato or coconut!
then i laid on the sofa for a while but i got up suddenly and ran to the sink as i actually thought i was gonna throw up, i didnt thank god
mum felt me and said i was roasting and sweating i had a fever of 39c so not too bad
i have since died on the toilet a few times, could  that be the biscuits? cus ive been fine all week and i eat some biscuits and get full on gut complaints

im tired, feel like crap, look like crap and fed up of feeling like crap
ive had enough!
tomorrow will suck
the only good thing about tomorrow is that it is my Oz's 3rd birthday so at least i can fuss and treat him :)