Thursday, 23 April 2020

Pumpkin girl

Evening~~

Last night mum asked me why I had written "baked beans" on her shopping list
i hadn't as i knew we had a load of beans in
but when i looked...there was my hand writing
i have no memory of this at all
i think i am slowly cracking
i have been answering and talking to my mum and brother and not knowing
and now im writing stuff as well apparently
i know im stressed but yeah this is getting weird
psychosis is a strange illness
the wolf is literally at the door

Took me til 1:30am to sleep
I was restless and went to bed at like 9:15pm
for some reason i had even less reason to tolerate my dad's presence so i just went out the way
i woke up at 7:30am

this morning my mum went shopping and dragged dad with her this was 8:40am
so I decided that even tho i had only been awake an hour that i would dance
that way i can have the living room and have it as loud as i wanted
i was there a whole hour
i was a dripping hot mess!!! i had done 45mins dancing and 15mins yoga
god i was hot so dived straight into the shower 

i came out and mum and dad came back i helped unpack the food
then i began making my soup for the week
turned out alright actually so i had that for lunch
then ended up falling asleep on my bed afterwards
wasnt that tired but i was aching from dancing so much

when i got up the postman had been
my green frame for bulbasaur had come but sadly its half an inch too big
i had measured the outer ring not the inner one - i had no idea how they were measured
luckily they are only £2.50 but its annoying i have to wait for another ring now
as i have ordered the one i do believe is correct

i wasnt in the mood to do anything much creative today
just wasnt feeling it
jack rang spoke to him for a bit
i think he did most of the talking i didnt really have anything to say
he seems ok and is doing weight training with theo's weights 
as hes worried he will grow fat, lazy and even more unfit
i think cus he leaves the house once a day for a walk and thats it
but i cant say im doing much more really
i guess dancing hard is good for cardio and yoga is good for strength
so in that respect i am doing my body a better service than jack is doing for his
see how long he keeps it up
hes missing me
its bank holiday next weekend which means dad wont be at work on monday
its like hell for me
so i asked jack if i can stay over next weekend and he says it was fine
so it would have been 3 weeks again before we would have met up
seeing each other just twice in 6 weeks is hardly anything

after my video call with jack, mum wanted to know if i would go a walk with her
it was plenty hot out but i thought id go with her
we did a good route around the forest
so i think ive done almost 2 hours worth of exercise today

i played on my switch before food
then after dinner i got to work drawing a picture for jack
its a joke picture

im gonna say i caught Flump pinning it to my wall XD
i think he will laugh
i need to colour it in and get it sent off
he wont be expecting it XD
not to my usual taste i have to say, but its good to draw different things sometimes isnt it
the pen drawing took me 30mins
i will take my time colouring in
i showed mum she laughed and said she wouldnt be surprised if jack pinned it up somewhere in his flat XD

might do a bit of digital drawing tonight
then go down for my Ozwald

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