Tuesday, 14 July 2020

Oz is getting there

Evening

I actually slept pretty well
despite receiving a txt from jack at 9pm stating he had chickened out of ringing the driving school up. i even said to his face on sunday "if you cant ring up say now as i will do it"
he was like "no i can do it im getting used to it what with ringing up estate agents"
but he confessed to chickening out
which annoyed me
not that he couldnt do that, we all know how crippling anxiety can be
its the fact he didnt ask for help
we've been through this that we are team and we help each other. so why wont he come to me for help? it annoyed me and rather than send him an angry text message i just left it
it is now 8pm and i havent text him today or even heard a whisper from him
so god knows whats up with him today

i saw mia today
i was suppose to go get my table from her today so i txted her saying i was on my way to HER house
got there to find her car gone
so i rang her and she had gone to her mums....whats she like
so we just did a normal walk
i can get my table another time i havent got the stuff yet for it anyway
it was good to see her and have a brew with her

i felt knackered afterwards tho
i fell asleep for an hour
then had lunch then i went out to a garden centre with mum
followed by another garden centre -____- 
it was alright i guess i didnt mind i was just really really tired
i got back and just flopped on the sofa with Oz

Ozwald update
he has eaten some  pellets through the night
not many but he has had some and some carrot and a treat
i still syringe fed him and breakfast and lunch
he so well behaved he really is
im gonna feed him again tonight and hope he eats during the night again
but i have sat with him and he seemed to be doing alright he didnt seem in pain
and he has been out with the girls hopping round and eating grass
im trying with him
oh also tonight when i got him in, he had been in the girls run (whilst it was empty) for agesssss and i  went out to see if he was actually alright, he had done loads of poos like loads and they were normal as well so im happy about that. and when i brought him in he begged for a treat which he hasnt done in days and he about swallowed the treat too. so all good signs

i ate dinner and got crippling stomach pains
it wont go away and i ate almost 2 hours ago
i was planning on dance practice but thats not gonna happen
hurts to stand up right
so im annoyed as i havent done yoga or dance today just a walk
but i suppose we all get off days
i shouldnt beat myself up for not doing my usual amount of exercise

tomorrow
probably dance and stuff in the morning and then at around lunch time, mum is meeting her friend in the park for a picnic as it was her friends 50th last weekend
theyre having cakes and stuff and wondered if i wanted to join them
i said i dont mind but i cant sit on the grass as long as they can (makes me ache)
so as long as they dont mind me leaving after a while then thats fine
they said it was fine and mum's friend has known me since i was child so she knows my illnesses and understands.
so i will do that and come back then i should be staying over at jack's
as its wednesday and i usually stay over for school
but i havent heard from him
also i sent him a house last night and he was gonna ring that up today but dont know if he has actually done that ether.

I got more bed sheets in the post today
and i got the netting finally for the hammock so i can start that when ever really

anyway see what tomorrow brings

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