Evening
I could not be bothered to do my diary last night
so yesterday I was tired and achy, I was disappointed that I wasnt able to do all I wanted but I did get some stuff done
we went to a local town in the morning and I got some new earrings from a jewellers theyre just little hoops as my hoops for my ears were just too large. I got paint for my drawers too. The whole shopping experience was tiring tho as I had bad anxiety everywhere! I felt totally fine all morning but as soon as I was in a shop I was just overwhelmed with it all without even thinking about anxiety! So frustrating
We came home and I went to bed
had lunch and then had a warm bath. I didnt have the energy for exercise so I decided on a warm bath
we set off for one last shop as I wanted a canvas to sit and do during the holidays then from there
we went over to Jack's mums where we had 5 hours with his family and a BBQ it was alright I dont mind seeing them I just find it exhausting having to look well and happy for that length of time without a break! Its intense!
I drove us home as Jack wanted a drink with his sisters which is fair enough.
we got back around 8:30pm which I was glad about as I had had enough. I was just aching bad
so I managed 25mins of exercise and then we had Oz in whilst we watched Inuyasha then we went to bed and we both slept pretty well
this morning we got up and went food shopping and I was ok today I wasnt anxious
I was tired tho and achy
we unpacked and I had a tea then crawled up on the bed. I knew I had stuff to do but couldnt face it all. However I did pick myself and went to make my soup with Jack, cleaned Oz out who enjoyed helping and then cleaned the bathroom. Had lunch and went to bed
When I got up I couldnt be bothered but I decided to go a walk, using my strength i drove us to the river for a walk round but Jack hardly spoke it was no fun at all. I was really disappointed that the only thing I had actually had time for myself for was a walk with my boyfriend and I had pushed myself and done the river walk for it to be a total grumpfest.
We came home and I went on the bed
he wanted my opinion on some tshirts and i ordered a couple for myself then went back on the bed and cried as I ached, my pain killers had done nothing all day. I was tired. Jack was in a mood.
He came and we talked about it and he felt bad for being grumpy but it turns out it was cus we had been talking about his birthday and he doesnt like his birthday and doesnt want any fuss made over him. I knew that but I didnt know he hated his birthday so much. I was looking forward to going out for the day with my boyfriend and he doesnt want to. I said "so once again its me upset because you havent told me how you actually feel!" he always bottles up how he feels about something and then I have no idea why hes not happy, think its me and yeah. He needs to work on that. he was sorry and said he doesnt mind going out for his birthday but said to leave it if it doesnt make him happy. I said "we best actually go places in the holidays tho right?" he said "yeah we can go places" we best >.>
i was also fed up as I had biscuits and food to make but was too tired and drained but i got it done somehow
dont want to go school tomorrow ether
just cant face a full day T^T not done a full day in weeks
its also the department "fuddle" where you bring food in and have a bit of a get together
I am bringing stuff in with Jack but I wont actually be having any of it as I cant face that
I just want to get the day done
Oz will be at bunny day care~
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