Tuesday, 21 September 2021

Slept deeply for the first time in months!!!! and I get praise ^^

 Pyon Pyon~~


I slept. Like deeply.....really odd. For me anyway XD

I woke up feeling like I had had a deep sleep. I found my phone on the floor but it lives on my bedside table I dont go to sleep reading my phone. So at some point I had knocked it off in my sleep and even that hadnt woke me!! So strange. I did nothing different tho......


So this morning, Oz didnt come out in the garden which isnt like him. I went to find him and found him sitting on the planks in the garage, i thought I would bring him in for morning carrot and he panicked in my arms as I got closer to the back door. I think he thought he was going in the carrying case - he didnt want to go daycare. I keeps massively stressing him out. 

I said I would give it another go as it means he wouldnt come out much during the winter months, but seeing so unhappy and stressed gets me het up as well. Also hes 4 now and only has a little heart, Id hate for the stress to get him to and he have a heart attack - it can happen!

So txt mum and told her about Oz that he would be staying home. I think this is it now. I think no more daycare. What was meant as a nice thing for him (company and exercise during my working hours) is just stressing him out now. He will be home tomorrow, I hope he comes out in the morning.


I was a little bit anxious about school but it was actually ok and I got it all done including the god forsaken online training. But yeah it was an alright day really. I was just shattered after it

mum was already here. She had done 30mins of gardening for us which was nice of her

I had a brew with her, whilst Jack wrote me some more biology test questions.


We did dinner, which was spicy noodles....Jack thought it was nice and not really spicy....

the first mouthful blew my face off, after the 3rd mouthful I lost the ability to taste anything, after the 6th mouthful I saw Jesus. 

After dinner, my lips were burning like id had the skin pulled from them, my throat burned and my stomach like all my intestines felt burnt!!! Jo does not do spice ><

After I recovered I prepped tomorrows dinner with Jack, then did my biology test and Jack kindly went through it again and I got 13/15! He praised me and said I am always improving ^^ He never makes me feel stupid. Which is how a lot of adults made me feel whilst growing up, which led to me not asking for help, which led to me struggling through my school life. I somehow passed my exams but barely 

I then did a choly ting work out and I was using my weights for the whole 15 mins but it about killed me off!!! Jesus! It wasnt even that 'bad' but god I was done

had a nice soak in the bath

Just looking at make up whilst Oz eats carrot in front of me. I have been thinking of wearing some but Im really into my skin care, I would hate to put something on my face which ruins my skin or makes me break out. So I have ordered a conditioning blush and conditioning lip. Different brands and I will see how it goes I guess. I havent worn make up since before corona!!

Jack is gaming tonight hes been gaming for an hour and I said if hes finishing at 9:30-10pm to not bother coming to bed with me and stay up til whenever as I like to be in bed for 9:30pm. So I am not sure when he will join me. He told me I can get him if I need to tho.


Tomorrow

school really, nothing special, not many pracs so I might get some art done!! <3

oh I was praised - not to my face - by dept head again today when she found out that I was responsible for the displays in science. She asked who did them as they were the best in school

damn straight ^^

sometimes its nice to be praised, other times I dont feel good enough for praise.

depends on what mental state I am in ^^;

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