went home again to look after myself

 Evening

We played pokemon together in bed for over an hour. I was so determined to find a decent Buneary and I eventually got one. I took more pain killers and climbed into bed and slept through the night

I slept but I still felt drained of life when I woke up like my body was shaking and I had a headache. I started getting ready for school and whilst doing my skin care I thought about school and tears started running down my face. Jack came into my craft room and asked me which tea Id like and saw my tears "oh my Jo whats wrong!?" I said - pointing to my face - "this is JUST thinking about school"

I still went to school

the whole time feeling like I was gonna be sick and just wanting to go home

I looked at the day, I had 1 practical which was small and I got it prepped. I wrote out the lessons for Monday and got it all prepped and announced at 9:30am to Jack that I was going home

I need to look after myself

that job is not worth making myself poorly

So he walked me to reception. I felt so guilty leaving but I refused to shed any more tears at work this week. I went home and I went to bed

I got up and started doing the biology work I didnt do in class

mum came over for lunch it was good to see her

she got upset tho. I have made both Jack and Mum upset this week TT^TT

she just feels frustrated with it all and wishes she was here for me and wants to do more for me. Mental health just sucks. She is just annoyed with my illnesses in general. Its just all unfair

When she left I did more biology work then went to bed and sweated to death from having nightmares I couldnt wake up and it was 5pm when I woke up, it was dark and i had no idea where Oz was. I just couldnt wake up I couldnt escape the nightmare. Worked out it was because i had not had my meds at lunch so I got them down me (literally cant be trusted with my meds) and I found Oz in his cage thank god and I brought him in

Jack came home shortly after, he had made his own way home and had to go through the city centre and he kindly brought us doughnuts! They look so good we are gonna halve them so we can have both.

I was relieved to have him home. He was suppose to have gaming for the first time in 5 weeks and I wasnt looking forward to him leaving me for 4 hours but I thought it would do him good to play and talk with his friends. He told me he wasnt playing tonight....he wasnt in the mood. He is too tired and just wants to be with me and Oz. I was so relieved. I felt so selfish but its his decision. So we are gonna play pokemon in bed and we have doughnuts soon too. I said we would have a bath first then have dessert. 

I might have a few dances on just dance as my exercise tonight

I also have the job of finding Jack some jeans online as his work jeans have worn a 2" hole in the crotch area so I said I would do that for him. 

Tomorrow

we are meeting harvey and theo at 10am for pudding pantry breakfast. I looked at the menu last night and all there dishes I like half of it but not the other half what comes with it so I said to Jack I would just have some ice cream as I will enjoy that more.

not sure what we're doing after that. Probably rest and recover. I have biology work to do as well for school, some digital work.

I got through the week but had two days of working from home but need to catch up on that work over the weekend. i am hoping next week at work will not be as horrible.