I couldnt weigh myself

 Evening

I slept ok and got up for Oz at just before 8am

we had a bunny with attitude to deal with this morning >.>

We got the shopping done and I did the shed load of cooking

had lunch, had a rest for an hour on my bed but didnt fall asleep

then I felt flat all afternoon my body is physically TIRED but I hate resting

I spoke to my mum on the phone then my brother

I attempted some drawing but I hardly did any

did dinner then I was gonna skip exercise but I managed to do 20mins on just dance

I am shattered now tho

I used the Wow dream coat on my hair for the first time and my hair actually feels thicker and is shinier its strange! I hope it last the 4 days like it says, I would do it again!

Got school tomorrow T^T going dressed as a school girl XD

this morning

I asked Jack to weigh me. Just to tell me Muscle mass. I did want to know body fat percentage but thought best not push it.

however

as soon as I held the scales in my hand. I could the pull and hold they had over me

I WAS GOING TO OBSESS

I told jack how I felt. He took them and hid them! He actually hid them!

He said its not worth it

I agreed

I mean as VERY tempting it is to become leaner and skinnier - it is not worth making myself poorly. I have walked away. I can tell where I am right now with my mental health that it would just be a downward spiral.

I told mum and I think she was relieved

yeah its not worth it

at the end of the day I exercise to better myself mentally and physically. Not to be bothered about numbers. I need to stick to this belief

dont wanna go school tomorrow T^T