evening
I didnt sleep that well, waking up aching the usual.
I woke up at 5mins before the alarm so 5:55am T^T
I got up with Jack and brought Oz in and Jack got off on time
and I fell asleep for 2 and a half hours....just what the actual hell! I can not remember the last time I slept for so long in one go during the day. I must have just been exhausted. I got up and had the second half of my breakfast and a cup of tea. I needed to start work but I just couldnt. I still felt like I needed sleep. I procrastinated and I felt terrible for it. I felt like such a failure, I should have taken the day off sick not work from home. As I hadnt worked. I felt like I had let Jack and myself down. I was even tempted to ring him and tell him I had done NOTHING.
I think when my body is allowed rest it TAKES IT. It over takes. Like it worries when it will next get rest. I think I constantly battle with my chronic fatigue and dont even fully appreciate the rest my body needs. I am not good at rest. Jack was happy I had actually rested a bit today.
But after I had a lunch of carbs and sugar I found the energy and will power to start my work and I kept at it for hours straight. I brought Oz inside as he had enjoyed playing outside today which was nice. I kept doing bits of work and checking on him. Started dinner so it would be ready for Jack when he came home.
We had dinner and we had a quick catch up but I kept talking to him whilst he did a few jobs and then I let him have a shower and go game
I managed to do a bit of exercise and it about killed me off. It wasnt even hard. I put Oz home and cleaned the bathroom somehow. Had a very hot bath. Now doing my diary. I will do a bit more work even tho its 9pm and I will finish it tomorrow. i dont feel happy with where I got up to.
Jack says its fine but I have a standard.
My mum went out for the day with my dad but dad was a total arsehole by answering calls on his phone - work calls - calls that could wait as hes not at work. She even sent me a photo of him in the cafe on his phone ordering car parts....how bloody selfish. Its your wifes's birthday outing and you cant even give her a few hours of your time. Whats worse is since theyve been home my brother has txt to say what a foul mood hes been in all evening. I would absolutely lace into Jack if he had been like that with me. My mums way of coping was going for a walk by herself when she got home. I think to cool off so she didnt have a full blown argument as my dad isnt good as saying sorry or even acknowledging that hes in the wrong. So in my mums eyes its not worth the argument. To me id have to say it how it is otherwise how do they know? i cant let things simmer
I have since offered to go out with her tomorrow morning but I think shes content with me coming over tomorrow morning. I dont know what I will say to my dad if I see him
arsehole
so tomorrow
in the morning I have Ozwald to clean out and make fresh bunbun. Then I will see mum and my brother as he is changing my laptop battery and putting a new screen protector on Jack's new phone. Then I think after lunch Jack's step dad is coming over to help him clean out a blocked radiator as the one in the living room is blocked full of crap and gives out no heat. It is freezing in there.
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