i just wanna be in a coma for a bit

 Evening

I did try to sleep last night but I ached too much so I got up til 11pm and took extra, tried again to sleep but wasnt happening. I woke Jack up and I was up til 12:30am with him I had tea and fruit loaf. I could have cried I was just so tired and wanted a 14hour sleep so badly.

I got up at 6am and whilst eating breakfast I had a txt from Julia saying she was poorly! Julia is never poorly! Bless her so we had her off today

at school we had 3 science teachers off!  stomach bugs are going round apparently.

I managed to get a bit of display stuff and I thought I had done too much work for it but apparently not enough! I have space! So I need to pad it out a bit. I saw Lizi briefly too. 

My morning felt like a hard slog. So tired and felt dizzy and a bit fainty I wondered if I had drank enough in the 26c heat.

i worried about leaving Jack at lunch time cus he would be eating lunch alone and the only technician I didnt want him killing himself off to please others. But he said he had an early lunch and ate lunch with some science teachers. So that was nice.

I came home, ate, bed. dead

I didnt see mum I was just so done. I downed a load of drink as I was still dizzy. After my sleep I sat and fussed Ozwald and I watched a few vlogs and then I rang my mum. She reminded me I always feel this was when I have increased my antidepressant or forgotten to take it. Just the way it gets me i guess. I need to get used to it.

I cut up all the veg for the stew tomorrow and for dinner tonight then had a cool bath, Jack came home and he had the bath whilst I cooked Donburi it was tasty

I havent done any art for several days now. Just cus I am so unmotivated and unstructured and tired and its hot and I can keep going with excuses but I do want to crack on with some, I have ideas I just havent had the will power to actually do them!!

I am so done, dying of a hayfever attack its 25c and yeah I just wanna be in a coma for a while. I cant be bothered with life right now

tomorrow

school, and hopefully see mummy