so how have I not lost weight?

 Konbanwa~~

I was sleeping last night then was awoken at 11:40pm with awful awful stomach pain. Like the actual stomach part. It HURT. I didnt know what to do with myself. No position would help. So I got up and sat in a ball/mushroom position on the sofa with the hot bag on my stomach and simply waited for this pain to pass. It was 1:30am til it eventually eased off enough for me to lay down. I have no idea what that was all about. I had to spend quality time on the toilet when I woke up >.>

Jack weighed me this morning like he did last saturday. He said I had maintained my weight....how

how is that possible considering what I have been surviving off. I said "youre lying" he said "no Im not. Youve maintained" I think  he was lying so not to trigger my eating disorder.

little does he know that lying had the opposite effect on my head

it massively messed with my head

why havent I lost weight?

surely I am still eating too much

if I wasnt on the diet and eating normally, what weight would I have gained? 

that kinda thing

I tried not to pay it too much attention and told my self that I have surely lost some weight this week. Not that I am on the diet for weight loss, but the suffering I am enduring, losing weight would make me feel better about the suffering. 

We put the pets out

put them home and went food shop, got fuel, got a parcel. I was knackered

we sat down then made soup whilst soup was cooking I cleaned Oz out and cleaned the bathroom. Ate lunch and died on my bed. I was done

when I woke up I went for a half hour walk by myself as Jack was gaming with Theo

then sat on my laptop and bought Jack and jacket as I noticed today his has gone a bit sun bleached. 

we did dinner, had a bit of stomach ache after dinner of course but I still sat with the girls

I cant believe how jealous Oz gets when I pay them any attention tho. He doesnt like the attention not being on him! I could never bring another bun home, it would upset him massively! 

I had a bath and now doing diary

basically didnt get time for any ME time today so tomorrow I am doing what the hell I like.

might go for a walk with Jack in the morning and make some cards for people after that.