My dear Hazel RIP

Oh my Loving, sweet beautiful piggie Hazel
how we all are going to miss your little face
the past few months I have known you I have
treasured you and done my best to treat
you like the princess you are
thank you for everything Hazel you will always remain in my heart

I came back from the vets half hour ago
we made the decision to have Hazel put to sleep
it was the kindest thing
the vet felt her and hazel peed on her she was that terrified of the situation
and the vet felt the same lump she felt last week
it was looking like what could have been poo was actually a tumour

the options for hazel were:
Major surgery to remove what was in her
or take her home and be on pain relief
or put to sleep

i could tell the vet was leaning towards putting her to sleep option
it would be major surgery to remove this lump
and shes 4, terrified and not the strongest
i had prepared my self for the worst case scenario
i had sobbed before work whilst cuddling her
today i have cuddled her none stop
spoiled her rotten, taking photos and videos of her
so i had plenty of memories with her

the medicine she gave us last week
it was strange cus a few times i saw her pee
she didnt squeak which got me thinking it was a urine
infection after all and she would be fine
but these last 2 days shes really been squealing in pain
for the toilet. also i noticed over the past week
shes clicking her teeth which means her teeth could be long
and so if that is true she would need the rasping
which means she would need anesthetic

her outlook just wasnt looking good
and i wouldnt see go down a steady slop getting worse and sick
she deserved better than that
so thats how we came to the difficult decision
i have sobbed so much today my face is stinging
i loved her so much and gave her so much time

when she arrived in my life, she was so very timid
she would hide from us, not even speak we didnt hear
her voice for a long time, she wouldnt eat infront of us
but from bonding with her i got her to talk so much that
she wouldnt shut up! she had 3 years of talking to make up for
she would eat food whilst being handled and she happily sat
and watched TV with us. she smiled, she was happy
and thats all i ever wanted her to be was happy

Coming home from the vets i thought I had lost tiffin
I couldnt find him anywhere....
my legs started to go weak and i was so close to becoming hysterical
but luckily my brother called out and i came rushing
he had gone under a bush, as in chewed his was under
you could just see little parts of him through the bush
i would never have found him
how long has been working on that!?
so i am completely drained  now and want the day to end
all photos and video were taken just hours ago

Hand-made lanyard

Good Evening

This morning I woke to an empty house ><
I got the pets out and did my duties
and I made the house look presentable 
for my parent's arrival
Got ready for work, I had training at 11am

I arrived at the office and 90mins worth of training
not many showed up for training tho
Got "new" kits/lessons to do with detective science
so it made a change
I was also give an extra after school club for this term
so working no mondays to thursdays
i was also given a bday party for this saturday
this week is a gonna be a busy one!

I came home to find my whole family had returned home
so that was nice, i had lunch - still eating that leak & potato soup =.=
then I had to set off for my after school club
which went well, the staff were nice and the kids were pleasant 
and i was teaching a new kit so made a change for me
the traffic was mental tho

oh i made this like a month ago i only found the photo last night

this is my lanyard i wear for work
i brought the pikachu lanyard off ebay
then i designed/drew the card myself

got it printed onto plastic
i was personally very proud of my ID lanyard
so I wear it all the time at work

Tiffin is in a bad mood today seriously >.>
im getting bitten and growled at left right and center

hazel, well we talked about hazel and im still no wiser
but basically she had 2 days of me thinking "wow the meds are
actually helping her" but now it seems shes back to being in pain
when she pees. its very difficult as she is fine in herself
she eats, plays, talks shes happy to put her down just cus
it hurts to pee seems such a waste of life
but i wont see her have any operations/anesthetic
so unless the vets have another medicine to try
im not sure what to do
i'll talk more about it to mum tomorrow

ok ive gone on enough now!

3 friends on 1 day, what were the odds?

Good Evening all

Man I'm soooo tired
I've been up since 7am and I didnt sleep that well
but i cant complain as I've had a nice day and things

My day started with Mia-chan, it was so lovely to have
had company because how lonely and quiet I would
have been with out her. Whilst she spending her usual hour
of getting herself ready (by which time I had got dressed, 
done my hair and make-up and played with my pets)
Dom-kun came over at 10:30am which was nice of him to come over
but my god he was early, i was hoping to have cleaned my pets out
before he came over. 
anyway Mia-chan left us at 11am to meet with her boyfriend & cousin
so me and dom had a lil catch up then Helina-chan popped over
as Dom-kun was buying her XBOX360 off her
so she stayed for an hour catching up with us
but they became fixed on a topic "what would Jozu be like drunk?"
so they were practically begging me to have a drink with them
when we go manchester. *sigh* dont know what im gonna do there
i HATE alcohol but they assure me that the 3 drinks I have tried
were terrible and theres far better out there, do I believe that?
I mostly dont drink because Im on A LOT of medication
some of which state not to drink
so we shall see >.> 

Me and dom had the soup I made on friday for lunch
then we headed into a town and he treated me to a hot choc and
a walnut & coffee muffin, all because I said he never talks to me
and I think he felt guilty, which wasnt my aim but alwell
the excuse "im too busy to text" never sits right with me
how long does it take to text!? like 1mins if that
Then we went round a garden center and I brought a pot and plant
in the sales costing me a total of £4.99 for mum
and when i got back I potted it ^^ I hope she likes it.
I'll photograph it sometime
Then at 4:30pm I dropped Dom-kun off into the city
so he could meet with his mate and return to London
he told me he likes spending time with me and he will come
back and go out for the day with me
Jozu felt loved ^3^

Then since then I cleaned the house and did my pet duties
literally havent stopped today im exhausted 
so im gonna take it easy now as I have work tomorrow
training at 11am then an after school club

photo of me and dom in our college days XD
my hair is sooo short!

Yay my first sleep over with Mia-chan

Good Afternoon~

Going to quickly blog my day
Last night Mia-chan slept over for the first time!!
Usually there's no room for anyone to stay
but what with my parents away, i can have their bed :)

So we woke up and went into town and had a great day
the weather is so nice and refreshing ^^
I made some good purchases as well :D

New tights from charity shop, only a £1 each - bargin

Earrings which were £2.99 each I got 2 for £1!
cute arent they

A second hand crop top I'm gonna use for work

Cute little wooden like bunny & fox
the fox was really cheap cus he's lost and eye but I've given
him an eye now - a pin :)
theyre on my ceiling

now this was a personal bargin of the day

my new winter 2015 coat
my coat is looking a lil tired its done 2 winters
and i made it myself
i said to myself if i saw something decent enough, id replace it
and here it is from Dorothy Perkins.
was £65 i got it for......£20!!! bargin for such a good quality coat

then Mia-chan picked this up for me randomly
and we did photos together
she also got her ear pierced as well

so yeah a good day
shes sleeping again tonight
then tomorrow Dom-kun is going to visit me :)
busy busy busy
im shattered to be honest! 

Im home alone!

Good Day~

Today is my dad's birthday
not that hes the celebrating type, far from it
but this morning we sat with him whilst he opened his card
and the presents I brought
despite being the only person to have gone out their way
and brought him presents, I didnt receive 1 thank you =.=
does he dislike me that much!?
Then I went into my room watching anime
whilst finishing my Fox plushie

Ja-Jan
I have named her Flix
Flix the Fox :)
I made the string round her neck and tied diamonds on and bell
to make her feel owned rather than a wild fox XD

At 10:30 my parents left for their holiday to Norfolk
they return on Monday
at 1:00 my Brother left for Center Parcs with his girlfriend
they also return Monday
so til Monday I'm home alone!!!

I used  my afternoon making Leak and Potato soup from scratch
and recorded 2 dances!!

Tonight Mia-chan is coming to stay over to keep my company
I was going to see Tara tonight but she just text to say
shes got in from work to find her Bunny is unwell :(
bless him I hope Nutmeg gets better soon

Tonight I have Mittens the hammy to play with again
he was a good boy last night, so cute!

Tomorrow I am spending the whole day with Mia-chan
and we're going shopping!

Sewing Day at Lynn's

Good day~

Today I woke up absoultely crippled haha
I had been to yoga, granted I didnt go full out
but still I really hurt this morning and it took me a 
while for my body to get going
but at 11am I arrived at Lynn's house

We have been sewing like all day
I didnt get anything finished to show
but I thought I'd show the clay earrings I sat and made yesterday

Fox and Poke'balls

Lynn made me a cheese and ham toastie for lunch
and gave me a piece of chocolate cakey also ^^
always spoilt there ><

I came home and flopped on the sofa
i have no energy left im still recovering from tuesday sadly
but I would like to practice a dance tonight so to get it recorded tomorrow

should have an easy day tomorrow hopefully

my hazel seems to be doing better too
oh and we have Mittens my brother's girlfriend's hammy to stay

It killed me off

Good Morning

and please excuse my absence for yesterday
Basically yesterday was too much for me and 
i never went online at all

I was up at 7am and left the house 7:30am
it would be the first day in my entire life
that i would have worked a full day
i know, 23, it doesnt sound like much
but when you have 3 illnesses such as myself
its a massive thing and i wanted the challenge
i needed to know how well id cope

anyway i arrived at 8am and helped set the room out
with tables and chairs and greeted the few  children that came
i also met Matt-kun a new mad scientist who is 31
he was a good laugh and does yoga ^^
all 27 kids rolled in for 9:30am
and from there i just never stopped
typically i was on the biggest table of kids so big
that i had to keep leaving my seat to walk round
and help the kids which used up more energy
the site was next to a park so every play time
i was out playing with the kids which is just exhausting
by the end of it i was dead
3pm i was certainly ready to come home but i knew it wasnt over
Dan-kun ever asked if i was ok i was feeling a bit wobbly on my legs

finally 5:30pm came and i was allowed to leave
Matt-kun said i looked tired, i said i was shattered
he was like "you've only played all day, why you so tired?"
i replied "I know thats why i love my job"
really what i wanted to say was "you try having 3 illnesses and 20 pills each day"
but i couldnt and wouldnt 
i drove home god knows how and as soon as i came home
i went to bed
had dinner and a shower when i got up, and saw tiffin for half hour
then went to bed, slept for 11hours and today i hurt all over
my illness is bad today

so all in all i can safely say a full days work is still
too much for me to handle but one day i will manage
it one day i will be able to work 9 til 5 monday to friday
just like all my other friends 
i will be normal one day!

today im gonna take it easy as thats all i can do really