GooD EveninG~
last night was a real bad night, its been a while since
i slept that bad, just laying there thinking "im gonna get up in a minute"
i dont tho cus i hold onto the belief that i will go asleep eventually!
think ive had 3-4 hours sleep
so i was determined not to sleep during the day today!
I started sewing more of mum's present
and here we have pinky and popuri
all pigs have been sewn, they need eyes and mouth next
and then they need turning into wall hangings so id say im just
over half way in finishing them
i got my brother's present finished so thats a good job done
daren't photograph it as he will probably come across it and i want
it to be a surprise :3
I have had awful awful stomach ache today
i mean my stomach hasnt been my friend for 2 weeks now
just everytime i eat it hurts! but even more so the past few days
and today it kills i havent been eating a lot past few days
and this morning's "breakfast" was a hot chocolate :/
after lunch which i ate a slice of bread with some cheese on
me and mum popped out to the shops
we went £1 shop, the range, and a new pet shop
i didnt get much, vaseline from £1shop it makes your lips red :D
christmas paper for presents, buttons that were reduced to 75p bargin!
and some carrot shaped buttons reduced to £1 and a present for tiffin for xmas
i havent seen this toy before i think it must be new, and when it said "dream catcher"
i was sold, i mean how cute is that ^^ it was £3.99 in the range and £4.99 in the pet shop
i got it from the range ;) so I will wrap it up for him, its his 2nd christmas as I got him
16th december last year but feels much longer than that!
ive done a lil dancing but not had the energy or alone time to record
i dont feel i could dance my heart out with the stomach ache i have right now >.>
best be gone tomorrow i wanna eat damn it!
Actually one thing that made my heart sink today was
i was in the living room with my mum and brother
i pulled up my jogging bottoms to show my knee caps
as i have been working on making them smoother :) so i thought id show mum
my progress, my brother came out with "jeez how skinny are your legs!?"
i looked at him and looked back at my leg and grabbing the meat on it
and i said "theyre not look at this" and later it made me think
"what if they are thin? what if i cant see that? anorexics lose their perception on reality"
it scared me but i think im looking to far into it, not that my head shuts up
i just dont want to be mentally ill well more so anyway
not sure how tomorrow will pan out~
Oha~
I woke up feeling a bit like death but by the time i had
some meds i felt human again XD
I got started with mum's present as she went out to work
so i stitched millie and alice
and lily and hazel
I made a start on pinky and popu but i ran out of time
also i made a good dent in making my brothers present also :D
so i feel like i achieved something with my day
but i soon started to flag a bit
but before i went for a quick sleep i decided to tidy my room ^^
and paint my nails
my room was desperate for a polish, having central heating on makes more dust!
and my nails look like a 2 year old did them and that was by daylight!
im better at 9pm by the light of the TV!!! how!?
so im gonna re-do them before work exp on friday
so yeh fell asleep to wake up and find it dark ._.
i had to go get the pet toys in from outside and lock tiffin up
and wait for my parents to come home
i didnt go for a walk as i quite easily talked myself out it
i need to do it tomorrow tho!
so yeh a mundane day really
i hope to do some more sewing tomorrow and some more exercise
i did dance last night and did pretty well ^^
but one very important thing happened at the weekend
my mum brought me....
a....
advent candle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES
i have been wanting one for the last 3 years
1st year - couldnt find any
2nd year - found one for £10+!!! (aint paying that for a candle)
3rd year - found on AFTER christmas =.=
so yeh im mega happy it was only £2.40 as well but its also the
prettiest i have ever seen :D its so decorative
well happy
i'll photograph it on the 1st december
which very scarily isnt far away!
Konbanwa~
once again I didnt sleep through the night =.=
its very annoying
i woke up wondering how the pets found their first night
in the shed, well its millie & alice's first time anyway
they were fine~
i felt crummy this morning bit like i have a cold
but its not a full blown cold. yet....
i sat and read and finished my book T^T so i brought the next one ;)
went online and was looking at disks i could use to make
Ed's christmas present. took me ages til i got bored and just decided on one
i was being too indecisive ><
I managed to work one mum's present a bit
i millie sewn up and shaded with eye shadow
same for alice but need to get rid of the cottons yet
theyre not finished as they need eyes and noses!
and here is dom's bag charm so far
all thats on it is a bow tie i made and a star
im gonna add a tardis, scarf and a clock
i didnt go for a walk as it was freezing and i was nakerd
i actually went to bed for an hour and when i woke mum came in
and offered to get me drink but i told her if she does that then
i wont get up! i was very happy there but i hate being lazy!
not that i had the strength to do much else ><
tomorrow I plan to work more on mum's present seeing as
she will be out a few hours
i really must do some form of exercise tonight!
evening~
I didnt sleep well T^T i could feel myself tossing and turning
in my sleep like a fish in a boat
when i woke this morning i felt like i had a cold coming
i was white as ghost and was red and puffy round my eyes
after i had cleaned the pets out in the blistering cold
i had breakfast and went to bed!
i fell asleep for an hour til 12 which i wasnt shocked about
i knew i would not cope in the day without sleeping more
Then when i did get up it practically lunch time
i wasnt in the mood to eat so i picked at some bread and soup
i went upstairs to start a bag charm im making for dom for xmas
i saw them on ebay and decided to do my own
but i need to wait for the charms to arrived before i can fully finish it
i made a red clay bow tie tho :3
I was so desperate to climb into my bed =3= i didnt tho
and i knew i had to be awake in the afternoon as the pets were going
into the shed finally, gets the out the cold and wind.
my family does the heaving and i do the pet sitting
i was going to sit the pigs on two different seats
but seeing as one seat had a laptop on and stuff i couldnt
so they ended up being on the 3 seater
now normally nothing would have happened or if it did
it would have been lily chattering her teeth being mean
but no this didnt happen. alice and millie sat quietly
lily started chattering to which i thought "here we go!"
i talked to her and she stopped and was slowly edging to the other two
pinky was just zoned out in a piggie trance
i had my hand up protecting millie and alice, lily kept licking my hand and edging
over to them, licking my hand as if to say "Its ok, i'll be good"
and she sniffed millie, millie straight away made squeaks of submission
lily then just went for it she pushed her way between millie and alice!
i gasped thinking "theyre gonna kick off" but no lily sat next to alice
as she was pinky, and started licking alice's ear loads! alice in the end flicked her ear
and snapped lily straight in the face!!! ._. you just dont do that to lily
but lily didnt batter and eye lid i was shocked she was being so well behaved!
and there she stayed, wedged between them both, millie was very unsure and
still being submissive. alice wasnt arsed not in the slightest
i cant stress how werid this is. alice and lily are very strong characters and in
the past it is them to kick off without hesitating to see them get on was a strange sight
cute and i didnt have my camera!
I talked to pinky saying she was missing out and she came across
millie was submissive again, pinky wasnt sure as lily usually tells her
to fight with her but lily and alice had their butts to pinky
so pinky was left not knowing what to think!
she them became very vocal with a few teeth chatters
then mum came in and thought it was werid and we took them all home
to their cages in the shed :D
i have been looking at games on amazon & ebay
as i have got to put a list together on an email so
mum has an idea what to get me for christmas
i dont think its necessary as the best gift this year was the two girls
i havent got a photo today but what i do have to share is
my own language, words i use and made up. my mum knows
all their meanings and uses them sometimes
my brother understands some i think and my dad is clueless
ok here we go~
Boid - Bird
Onyon - Onion
Shroomage - Mushrooms
Yentils - lentils
Ham fat - Sliced Ham
Una - Can Tuna
Manaise - Mayonnaise
Tea Bag Tower - a pile of teabags from making tea
Tiddle - to go for a wee
random i know and i have no idea where they come from XD
there could be more thats what i could remember from the
top of my head
im sure i will feel better tomorrow but i have felt lousy
all day with aching joints a really bad back ache!
no amount of sugar helps but im sure i'll be ok tomorrow
i have done no exercise today tho ><
Good Evening all~
I slept a lil better last night
and woke up at 8:30
I did some dancing whilst everyone went out
i was sweating and out of breath i had done a good work out
and got an energetic dance done
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh50E8_7EcI
then i suddenly thought i had dentist
so i quickly got ready and left the house
i was waiting a lil whilst at mia's dentistry but it was fine
mia called me in and i asked her right away how her mouth was
she told me it ached so shes on painkillers, and she struggled to eat last night :(
i felt bad for her because food is everything to mia, we say she was a guinea
pig in her former life as she loves food and never stops talking!
the dentist checked me over and luckily there wasnt anything wrong
with my filling thank god, its the tooth in front i had worn away my gum
so now some nerve was showing >< i know why it is its because i used to
clean my teeth wrong and hard, til i got a pressure sensor electric toothbrush
so i thought i had kicked the problem but maybe not she said it could
be the angle i brush at, ether was she coated my teeth and its been loads better!
came home and made my own leek and potato soup it was alright i guess
i then rang up my old Primary School i was so nervous - why!?
it turned out the head mistress - my old year 5&6 teacher - was busy
so she would ring later
me and mum then made the most of the sun and went for a 45min
walk round the neighbourhood which was nice just a bit nippy
came home sat with pets and read
the head mistress rang - mum picked up luckily - mum cleans her house
so shes on good terms with her which has been nice as ive always had that
connection to my old school this way
she passed the phone to me, and my nerves went as soon as i spoke
i was fine and she said it was fine for my do work experience!
i was so happy and grateful, i start on friday morning!
tonight i have got tiffin in and hes in a scampy playful mood
it would seem so i have all on entertaining him away from chewing my toys =.=
tomorrow id like to get some sewing done
but it might be tricky given theyre my mum's and brother's presents
i have got to sew =.=
oh i photographed my watermelons
arent they cute!
the big one is for mia and you can put stuff in it
the small one is for our christmas tree~
Evening all~
I slept so bad last night
waking up a lot and hearing noises outside
so which i wake up and look out my window - bit like a dog really
i had 3 dreams about toilets!! 3!!!
insane, safe to say when i woke this morning i was desperate for the toilet!
But my brother beat me to it i was hurting from needing it =.=
not the best of starts to the day
I got ready quite quickly as i knew Mia would be on her way
she came over whilst I was with the piglets, we had a brew together
she showed me her gaps in her mouth bless her
she told me how much shes been struggling to eat and shes lost weight in the week!
i said shes gonna be size 6 at this rate!
she was nervous about having the brace fitted but i was with her
every step of the way, i came in the room with her :)
she was so brave through this, but braces dont hurt being fitted
the are suppose to hurt for the next 5 days tho :(
i brought her to my home as she requested and made her a cup of tea
and chatted for a lil while until i said it was best to get her off as she
had work in the afternoon, she could talk all day given the chance!
I had lunch with mum then we went out to a home store
I brought an amazing lamp for Dom it is in the shade of a police box
its blue ceramic and was £12 which i didnt think was badly priced
but not sure weather to give it to him this year or next :/ but its pretty big to store!
I got a vintage looking tin to put all of mia's birthday presents in ^^
then came home sat with pets and uploaded the dance i quickly
recorded before mia came over, my eye is still recovering but doesnt
look half as bad as it did so i thought id just get on with it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOt8AhbEXCA
tonight i will dance as it was really cold out and i didnt fancy a walk
i got e-mail from my old Primary school today confirming i could
come do work experience i need to ring up tomorrow ^^ so relieved
tomorrow I have a dentist appt for my tooth that is still not right
from the filling i had last month, it kills so mia is sorting me out
at 10:50am :)
Obandesu yo~
I slept really quite bad last night
disturbing dreams to say the least
so I woke up dark under my eyes
my right eye looked like a fish XD
When I looked in the mirror and remembered
i was off into the city i kinda thought
"no guy would even bother looking at me"
not that i want guys attention, but no one would
be remotely interested if they saw me =.=
i wore my kitty hat, fluffy hoodie, shorts and thermal tights
someone commented on my kokkuri-san nails even tho i think theyre rubbish
and someone liked my hat also ^^
Jozu always the stylish one to stand out ;)
we were in the city for some time and ended up eating
out too, we both had tomato soup with a roll which was warming
and just as well as it poured it down whilst we were in the cafe
it was such good timing!
i got my brother's and dad's xmas present sorted so thats a good
tick off my list. i just would like something to finish off dom's and ed's present
but i'll do that online probably
my mum was moaning saying she would have to come shopping again
as she needs to get something for both me and my brother
this is why i hate christmas its a stress put on everyone
its something you HAVE TO take part in and it annoys me
i dont need a day in the year to give my love ones a gift
i give all year round
anyway i told my mum i would email her a list of link of
items i like then she can pick in stead of trudging round shops
i have more choice to my taste online too
i dont really want anything anyway
we got home about 3pm, got pets out
and had a brew with a cookie :3
i went to sleep as i usually do on wednesday do to
having yoga in the evening
my dad woke me up tho by being an idiot holding the door bell down
and knocking on the door =.= he just doesnt think and there was no need
to do it ether but nevermind hes always in the right anyway
im having trouble with my mental health i can feel
well i hear it most days but i can feel something darker there
lurking in the corner and it makes me sigh and wonder
"when will it raise its ugly head?"
its like trying to shut the lid on a box that is too full - eventually its gonna pop open
tomorrow I am taking Mia to her orthodontist appt
to have her braces fitted, poor girl. shes nervous understandably
i feel nervous for her! bless her
im off to yoga
sorry i havent done any dance upload i forgot today
and i didnt record a new one due to looking like a fish XD
