A long dayyy

Good Evening~

Sunday evening is my nail night
and couldnt do the design I had in mind!!!! I was getting so frustrated with myself
i took my nail polish off t ore-do them but it was 9:50pm at this point
so i just painted 1 colour. i was sad T^T
I didn't sleep that well
having dreams about ninjas coming and destroying villages
i had to escape
god knows why i dreamed such a weird thing -__-

I had school today
the guineas were there but i swear they had forgotten me =___=
I wasnt feeling that good today so time went slow
we did english and maths. the maths was HARD and my brain wouldnt function
I went home for lunch and i was relieved with pain killers
I had left over pasta i made saturday tea time ^^
Ive eaten so much today!
I didnt want to return to school but I did, just telling myself "2 more hours to go"
We worked on computers for 2 hours about fossils! woo! XD
I managed to talk to a TA for a bit anyway :)
The kids asked what my nails were but I told them I wasnt happy with them
they know now that I paint them each week X3

I got home, had a brew and crashed in bed shattered
i was suppose to see Mia but I didnt have the energy
I'll see her tomorrow im sure, seeing helina on thursday

Ive been with the pets and drawing
will I get my drawing done this week?

tomorrow I have a free day thank god
just seeing Karen in the afternoon for treatment~
might do my nails again tonight
i have an idea!

Took 2 days to make!

Otsukarare~

Last night I was looking up food recipes for this FODMAP diet
the doctor suggested I tried. So I found loads and some stuff actually looked really good
So I said to mum "when we go shopping tomorrow I may need to pick
up some stuff for my diet"
mum "what? you need other ingrediants?" she said it like id asked her for £50,000
With the tone she gave me and the face I said "forget it mum, im just trying
to help myself but just forget it" she walked off
I was quite hurt actually. Dad isnt arsed now mum didnt support me on this ether
so I was a lil upset as it wasnt called for and I didnt understand why she spoke to me like that
so forget it, i wont bother trying, clearly its gonna be harder than I thought
 
I woke up at 7:30am this morning 
My nose was blocked so my mouth was so dry
I blew my nose. Blood 0.0
Ive never had that before, never in my life has blood come from my nose
so of course that wakes me up >.> luckily it wasnt an actual nose bleed
jeez think i would have woke the whole house if i did have a nose bleed XD
So I ended up getting up at 7:45am cus I was wide awake at this point

I went and did my parents a cup of tea and brought pinky
to mum in bed with a brew ^^
I like those odd days when Im up before her.
I just had a hot choc for breakfast
 
After the pet shifts, I started doing more on the collage
I cant believe how long its taken to do
but I wanted to get it right and im not used to working with paper
So I was sat doing that, whilst my dad and brother were downstairs
in the kitchen pulling up the floorboards, no one could get into the kitchen
mum said she was ready to go shopping
but she was just stood gorping at my dad and brother doing the floorboards
i shouted "mum what are you doing?" I thought she had just switched off for a minute
"nothing! im coming now!!" face bitten off again. she turned to dad "you gonna be alright?"
He said "yeah when you take her out the way F***ing Braindead"
so I felt brilliant about myself this morning. really did just wanna crawl in a ball
for a few days.

I went shopping with mum, none eventful. and I picked up a cross stitch frame
i needed for the collage.
I said to her "dad isnt nice calling me F***ing Brain dead"
she said "oh he is just stressed"
she always takes his side in matters. always defends him. pees me off

I got home and the kitchen was without floorboards
I went straight to bed. Screw the world thats how I felt 
I just felt sad and tired. I wanted to be out the way of people
out the way of dad as he's no doubt just swear at my face, out the way od my brother
cus id just be in the way. and out the way of mum cus she gets stressy when things are untidy.
So I went to bed. woke up it was 2pm
I hadnt eaten still and I couldnt get to my medication and no way was i asking
to get to them. Id rather suffer than get in the way.

I was sat in my room doing the collage, almost finished it
at 3:30pm the kitchen was back to normal so i got my medication and something
to eat i was starved!
Continued my collage and got it finished!!!

I am so pleased with it, my brother took this photo and photoshoped it
i did take a photo but it looked so flat and didnt do it justice an next minute i knew
he had tri-pods out and flashes and camera bags, it was quite good watching him
with all his kit and i really love the photo ^^
I cant wait to give it to karen~
I drew the dragonfly
made the little rosette and the flower
wrote the quote
so i made it all really, hardest part was the composition!  

Tomorrow is school :D
yay I like school~ tomorrow I will be working with the retired teacher
who is was my brother's old teacher X3

Collaging :D

Otsukarare~

I got to paint mum's nails last night ^^

So I was happy, I tried out a new technic I watched on how to

paint flowers. She liked them :D

As I went to bed last night my phone was dying

i just looked at and thought "meh i'll charge it in the morning"

It woke me at 4am beeping to let me know it was gonna die

how selfish is that >.> so at 4am I had to look round for my charger 

and whack it on, as I didnt know if it would keep beeping or not.

stupid thing

When I got up this morning it was 9am 

I was flicking through some craft books. Its karen's birthday soon

usually I make her something and mum buys something

but I have yet to make something. So I was looking for inspiration 

But I was coming up short.

So I went on Google and through one search or another i found these

really funky collage frames

I decided that thats what I want to do Karen

Then the phone rang, it was Mia

She was in a flap as her outfit for tonight has a hole in it

and she wanted me to repair it

why she couldnt just wear another outfit i'll never know

but I wasnt doing much so I invited her over so I could fix it.

Mia came over, fixing her outfit didnt take long at all

and she was grateful for it

She stayed and talked for a bit, well we mostly laughed to be honest

its always fun being round her

Then at 12:50pm she left to go meet Rob in town

I could now crack on with what I wanted to do

So I made a start

I have drawn a dragonfly, wrote a little thing about family

and made a rather creative looking flower :3

The flower took ages but theres no rush and I want it to look good

gonna go get a frame tomorrow. but I still have loads more bits to do on it

Ive enjoyed doing it tho, made a real change to work with paper.

So im gonna continue with it tomorrow

I may as well whilst I dont have course work to do and stuff

Tonight when my stomach ache has subsided I hope to dance~

How personal can it get!?

Good Evening~

not so tired today so I will do a proper diary entry XD

Yesterday was fine

I worked with both the Dept head and the headmistress!

But I never feel nervous round them as I know them

so its alright.

I spent the morning sitting with a girl whilst she sat doing an exam

then the afternoon the class were doing art dedicated the the Queen's 90th birthday

I thought Id join in and I drew a dog against the Union Jack

the kids were amazed some just sat and watched me

I let a girl take home the image and she was thrilled :)

This morning I finished a book I was reading

kinda weird and dark i wasnt bothered about buying the next one

thats for sure, so Ive started another book~

I had a lazy morning of reading and playing on my 3DS

had my lunch and went to bed. sod the world!

When I got up I went for a short walk with mum

did some sewing, I wasnt sure what TO sew but then I remembered I had

collected a lot of labels so I decided to sew them together

and add another row to this random piece ive been making

its full of labels, fabric and ribbons that have writing on them

when I collect a load I stitch them together and then sew them

to the over all patch, its gotten quite big actually

god knows what i'll eventually do with it tho!

Mum baked a cake for Millie~ her first birthday

so I got to decorate it

It tastes yummy ^^

I had a doctors appointment about my blood test results, my daily stomach ache

my blood test was fine and didnt need repeating ^^

and as for my stomach ache *sigh* the reason I never went in the first place is

cus I knew he'd blame it on IBS so what did he say today? hmm wonder what it

was he fobbed me off with this time..ahh yes it was IBS

he says that cus its convenient and easy. he such a time waster

he gave me a diet to try, im yet to look at it. but maybe i will start it over the weekend

gonna do it for 2 weeks and if it makes no difference (which im guessing it wont) i shall go back.

I asked for some tablets to give me a period as its been a while since i had one

which is normal for me, but I just didnt want it to get me and ruin my day on the convention next weekend. So I asked him and he said

"now im gonna ask you, is there any chance your pregnant?"

I said "no"

doctor "how can you be sure?"

me "cus ive never, you know, taken part in that kinda thing"

doctor "your still a virgin?"

me "yes" - felt like saying 'and what of it bub!'

doctor "have you thought about dating? there are guys out there"

now i found that a lil insulting. I know exactly what hes thinking here

he's is thinking 'she has a sad life and just focuses on her health. 

if she had a relationship she

wouldnt be so focused on her health' that is exactly his thoughts i can read him like a book.

how does he know ive not had relationships? how does know i even want a guy? 

had he not thought i could be lesbian? (not that I am!!!!)

that guy is full of rudeness

so I said "i have been close with guys but Ive never taken it further"

doctor "fair enough, how come you havent had sex before?"

WHAT!!!!? how personal is that!!!?

so I said "because I havent had a boyfriend and im not into one-night-stands"

doctor "theres other ways to have sex than o-"

I interrupted "yes I know" 

so eventually I got what I needed but yeesh i wish hadnt bothered!!!!

I hate that guy >.> whats it to him

ive been ill, im re-building my life and a boyfriend hasnt been on the agenda is all

i could never see the point getting someone involved in my life when i had 

just myself to think of and get better i felt i wouldnt be giving them

my full attention, it wouldnt be fair on them

i wouldnt turn guys away now. but once people get to know they'd run for the hills XD

tonight Im gonna do some dance practice~

i uploaded a dance today actually~

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOHM0CivBQs

Tomorrow is the weekend~

not sure what im doing tho, no doubt be a sado like usual and be by myself

maybe I am in need of a relationship?

another school day really

Tired

Had an alright day

just the usual at school really

came home slept

then went for a walk with mia

thats all really

Im just not in the mood 

Good thing that happened today

The headmistress told me i was doing good work

oyasumi nasai