Konbanwa~~
Last night I fell asleep pretty quickly
but ended up waking at 11 a bit hungry
then 12:45 hungry again and achy
then 2:30am and I was so hungry I felt sick
so I got up had a big mug of hot chocolate and cereal and painkillers
soon went to bed afterwards
but I was still tired when I woke up at 9am
I did my usual pet duties then I started stitching up the robin
I started last night til 10pm doing the 8 decorations on the garland I want to make
and today I got one finished, the robin :D
I think it came out pretty cute
all of them are my own templates
Ive been working on a tree but think I might want to do penguin next
who knows
I managed to get a dance recorded thank god
cus i ether go wrong or i dont get time to record
so i havent uploaded one in a while
I will upload that tomorrow~
Adam came over after work and I made us cheese and bean toasties for lunch
then we sat with Oz who was all over adam
we went then into a town and played pool
we won a game each
I couldnt believe the first game that adam potted the last 5 balls in succession!!!
Then the next game i potted my last ball moved onto the 8 ball
and it wasnt near a pocket so i went to just whack it one which is my usual technique
and what do you know, it shot into a pocket!!! I could have leapt onto that table and danced :D
we went round charity shops but I cant say I found anything worth buying
we went to his house it was 3:30pm
I was tired needed to rest for yoga and i ached
his dad was in he'd not gone to work cus of his foot hurting him so he was huffing and puffing in the chair as usual, it annoys me sometimes cus i sit there thinking "i'm in pain and have been for the last 7 years but im not huffing and puffing"
so i went into adams room and started drawing in a pad on his bed
he came up 5mins later to see if i was ok
i told him i needed rest
he cuddled me but i didnt get much rest cus we talked and messed around -____-
I came home for yoga
yoga was good but very hard work it was core work my stomach kills! but its fine
my laptop is still working and to say i missed it i havent actually been on it that much
i have bits to sort out and emails to do but just havent done them
i will tho
tomorrow
ugh tomorrow
i have mixed feelings about tomorrow
at 8:40am i have blood test...
i haven't had a blood test in almost 2 years I have done amazingly well to dodge the needle
but i have to get checked out and so i do not want to wake up tomorrow morning
im gonna be a nightmare, im so not gonna be on my best behaviour i mean hell im getting sick to my stomach just thinking about, i will sweat my arse off and need a shower when i come home
praying i dont faint but if i faint i dont have to be conscious through the affair!
but on the other hand, i am sleeping over at adam's house :D
his parents are away and i said id collect him from work at 10:15pm
so its late for me and i dont like being out the house at that time but if it means i get to sleep over and have a bath in the morning then i'll do it ^^
so that should be fun :D
I will do my diary before i go im sure~
in the day time me and mum are going to a town to pick up some bits
Konbanwa
There wasn't a diary entry yesterday due to my laptop
officially dying. I couldnt get any juice outta the cable
so my laptop wouldnt turn on = no internet for me
So yesterday
went food shopping with mum
cut out felt christmas decorations with Oz
cleaned my room and changed my bed
can't remember what else really
i know I fell asleep for 2 hours
that night dad upset me big style
but then he always has vented his aggression out on me
he didnt even know i was in my room at 9:30pm crying my eyes out
nor would he care if he did know
i can't tell you how bad and dark the thought became
So today I got up to go city centre with mum
it was kinda a christmas shop run
so we managed to pick my brother up some stuff, my dad something, i chose a few things (personally i hate knowing what ive got for christmas but it cant always be helped!)
I picked up 2 tops for H&M
First is a pink and black shirt which was reduced to £5 from £12.99
and the second top is a long sleeved stripped jumper reduced from £19.99 to £4
bargins~~
I picked up Mia a couple of gifts also
we had a drink and cake in the city to keep us going
but we came home for 1:15pm and had pumpkin soup for lunch :)
i'd had cheese on toast for my breakfast as I couldnt face cereal
that is not like me
I'd txted adam to say I was home and gave him the option of walking over
which he did
so i was cleaning out the pets whilst he walked over
i hadn't stopped i was quite tired
so i laid on my bed with him
but mum wanted to go out in her car and i was blocking her in
i knew id drop adam off home later anyway so i decided to go his house for the last hour
we didnt do a lot if im honest
but he did give me some one to one time on his bed + a play fight but i gave in cus i was knackered
I came home then
I ran through my dance routines quickly but ran out of energy
ive got Oz in now and thinking of doing some hand stitching of the christmas decorations
tomorrow i get to please myself in the morning
the adam is seeing me after work he says
this is a cream i brought new for £4 reduced from £40
I have a few creams on the go currently so i havent used it yet
but sounds good another korean make~
Evening~
I was awake and up til 1am last night
my head was going mad god it was one thought after enough
relentless
i was crying, alone, in bed
such a loser
i heard my family go to bed and i got up and went down stairs
did some cross stitching to take my mind off my head
then i drank a hot chocolate whilst reading
then came to bed
i woke up a lot
and a stupid number rang me early too >.>
I was up texting adam too bless him
hes always there for me ^^
So my morning went pretty much me laying in til 8:30am
did my pet duties
had breakfast
bed
got up and had lunch
adam phoned to say he was coming over
i dived in the shower
he came over we sat with Oz
then went to a cafe so he could get lunch i just had tea
then we went round charity shops i picked a really cute snowflake pearly chain for the xmas tree this year i loved it when i saw it and it will be perfect on MY tree and it was just 99p
then the next shop I found fabric!!! total total bargin
the woman said she had only put them out half hour ago!
got to adams and we talked and cuddled on his bed for a bit then i left for home
got ready for tara's and went
i say that all so simply but the truth of the matter is i was worrying last night about finding tara's new house and also being out til late in case i felt tired and stuff. i was worrying in the day to both mum and adam and they both told me to go. once again it seemed i was making a big deal out of nothing
i drove to taras a lil scared
but got there
and she showed me her home which is amazingly better than her old home
seriously she has done well
both her an mia have both lovely homes this year
i hope my home turns out just as good
im so happy for them both
we sat with her boys for a while
then we had dinner which was pasta and garlic bread
it was good and home made too :D
then i went home at 8pm so i could shower (2nd shower still) and have Oz out
tomorrow I wish to clean my bedroom
and pray my new laptop charger comes damn it!!!!
i dont even know how its working!
might try and see adam i feel like spending the day in his arms
feeling needy haha
thought id show another christmas present
basically mia has been collecting this really random xmas decorations
i personally think theyre gaudy but she likes them
so i found one for her collection for £3.99
that is not cheap but its a present i guess
Evening~
I slept pretty well after Id taken something to help me sleep
and I woke up at 8am
I got up and was able to put the pets outside which was good and made a change
I decided to do some sewing this morning as I thought I could go city centre
during the week when it's quieter
I managed to get the cushions finished!!!! all 3 cushions are done and dusted
I am pleased with them they look really neat :)
feels good to tick them off~
So thats 3 presents I've got finished this week ^^
I had a shower as I felt gross
I had some lunch
I actually didnt realize i t was 12:40pm I said Id see adam at 1pm
woops
so it was a lil of a rush
but I got up there with Oz for 1:20pm
He was good boy and I was able to have a brew as he laid down next to adam's feet
god he is obsessed with adam and always wants his affection
much like me to be honest, im competing with my damn rabbit >.>
We rounded him up as he looked tired and i wanted to go for a walk
whilst the sun was still up
We dropped him off and went to the local park
the sun was so low in the sky i could barely see it was a lil unnerving actually
got to the car park and it was rammed and people waited in cars aimlessly for spaces
in the end i thought "sod this" and went to reverse
I reversed in the motorbike only part that had little bars up for the bikes to be held up by
I was careful even with the amount of people and cars near me and the sun glaring
i pulled out the space and something sounded horribly wrong, the woman in the car next to me was saying "Stop!!" so i did
adam got out to have a look for me
the woman also got out her car and said "it just went all the way round your back wheel"
I looked and it was someone's bike stand they had left
great big metal thing had gone round my tire and my tire had dumped it on the floor where adam picked it up and put it to the side
it sounded like i had ripped through the fencing
i thought id access the damage later
we drove off and i didnt know where to go
we ended up at the same local park to adam we went to last sunday
we walked and went to the pub to go play pool
got there it was rammed, football was on, so we walked in we walked out
got back to the car
and went to adams
as soon as i came in i rang my mum
because basically yesterday they were on about the pets going in the shed
but it didnt happen as i wasnt home
so today i suddenly realized that they needed to go in the shed and i wasnt home
so we spoke and i told mum about the pets and i could hear dad in the back ground "what's she whittling about? why does she want them in the shed already? not even cold" just berating me whilst im not even speaking to him
mum said "you dont sound very happy"
i wasn't as i had accessed the damage and ive got a huge scratch in my car ive caused and a bit of paint work needs buffing out, we couldt play pool, everywhere is busy full of humans, dad being horrible down the phone, im tired of feeling poorly and sweaty, im struggling to hold it together" id gone to adam's room by this time and by myself
i was crying a lil down the phone
and mum told me not to worry about anything including my car as it is scratched and 13 years old, i've just never caused damage like that before.
i wished i had never left the damn house
adam came and cuddled me til i calmed down which took a while
as even when ive gotten over the issue, my head then takes a while to sort out and be able to cope once again. i was trying not to let it win but it did for a lil while
i felt stupid for crying tho in frotn of him cus really there was no reason to cry
but it's me i cant handle these situations
he was fine with it all
he made me a tea with 2 sugars and his mum cut me some cake
soon cheered up with that
then i went home at 5pm for Oz as the fireworks had just started up
ive eaten dinner in my room with Oz
hes all snuffly and does a lot of sneezes, he sounds like tiffin used to before he died
so im worrying now about Oz's health
my brother is going to a firework display tonight
he goes every year
its not my thing
tomorrow im not sure what i am doing
i havent got anything on apart from going over to tara's new house for dinner
adam has work and i told him to not feel like he has to see me after work
i feel i take his free time but he says otherwise
the whole time we've dated he hasnt once been out with any friends
i thought id show another present
this one is for mum i found it randomly it was only released a couple of months ago
its an adult colouring book but its full of guinea pigs!!!!!
never seen a guinea pig one before so i had to get it
got it from amazon for £5.99 I believe so good price
she has colouring books but hasnt done them for a long while
hopefully she will get back into it with this
Evening all~~
I didn't sleep too bad considering my sweats
but every time i woke up the sweat on my back was quite gross
ive noticed ive been drinking more just cus im sweating like its summer
This morning was pouring it down so i was unable to clean my pets out
and i ended up having Ozwald inside actually
I had my hair cut
which as everyone in the house knew i was looking forward to
i asked her to sort my fringe out
but its dangerous asking a hairdresser to restyle
as they start getting a lil scissor happy..
im not keen on my fringe but it will grow
and as for the hair i have been growing, i found it all over their tiled floor!!!
seriously how much did she freakin take off!?
when I washed it today (2nd shower of the day) i was so shocked at how little i had to wash
she has shaved me -_____-
i dont go now til january
after my sheering i went to adams
we had a brew then walked to go get lunch i had tuna and cucumber cob
then we talked and cuddled on his bed for a long while actually
he also scruffed up my hair after it had been cut and styled >.> guys
he said to me that the jars we have to use for saving up money for our abroad trips
we have one each and he's started his, im starting mine next year
but he told me that he's put money for me in his jar...and that to only have one jar...
no instantly my thoughts go on the offence of "thats not fair, we won't pay equal, im capable of saving for myself, why cant we keep it to our own jars, whats in it for you"
but i managed to keep it all to myself and told him he was really thoughtful
but i couldnt quite commit to the idea of doing just one pot
hes fine putting in money but i havent started for 2 reasons
1. im currently no earning i have zero in come
2. i said i was starting next year (no rush in my opinion and it was my goal next year)
but i can see he is excited to go away with me and i dont wanna be a jerk and put the dampener on it just cus my insecurities
i went downstairs and painted his mums nails
whilst i had been at adam's i had: shivers, been normal temperature, sweated
during his mum's nails i was wiping the sweat from my forehead
i apologised to his mum in case she could smell my sweat
i couldnt cool down and i told adam i was leaving for a t-shirt and to tie my hair up
i got home and did those two things as i walked through the front door
i just wanted to be naked in an ice bath
i soon cooled down and my body went straight into goosebumps trying to warm my flesh up again
if this isnt my thyroid then i have something really wrong with me
but my throat always feels swollen and thats where the thyroid gland resides
I sat online for a bit looking at joggers and at clothes
i cut strips of fabric ready to sew onto the cushions
i did it with Oz's help as he walked all over the fabric
we've had to have the pets in all evening again as there is a lot of fireworks going on
the air outside stinks of gun powder
i get that its guy fawks night tomorrow but jeez some people go over board
the guy wasnt even successful in blowing up parliment!!! (wish he was!)
tomorrow i usually stay for dinner at adam's on a sunday
but due to the fireworks i am unable to do that cus ive got to be here for Oz really
so it will be a different sunday for me
adam has told me he's having a lay in and getting up for nothing as the inconsiderate postman woke him at 9:45am this morning and that was far too early apparently. jesus.
he said to bring oz up and we can go for a walk or something
but in all honesty i dont know what to do
a part of me feels like wondering the city centre but i know that i am going there with mum on wednesday. but then i dont know what else to do. i'll see how i feel in the morning i guess. i can always sew. and im not even sure what id buy if i went to the city centre
shops have started getting busy with christmas shopping already -______-
i thought id show a few presents i have brought for people
i started with tara's as its complete
shes got 2 pokemon samples of hand cream (on the back)
1 black pokemon mascara
1 pokemon pink nail varnish (actually super jealous of that colour!!!)
1 pokemon lip stick
yup its a pokemon present as she does love her pokemon and its stuff she would not buy herself, heck i bet she doesnt even know it exists! Ive used the Tonymoly brand before so i know its decent stuff and the mascara even has christmas packaging - perfect :D
Evening~
I am able to use my laptop as I have managed to position
the cable in such a way on my desk that the connection works!
I daren't move anything on my desk!
Last night til 9:20pm I was finishing the black bird picture
as I only had a little bit more to go and I thought id I finished it that night
I can look at it with fresh eyes tomorrow (today) and make any adjustments
but today I thought it looked fine
so I took my time putting it in the frame
and it's all done
ready for adam's dad's 60th birthday in december :)
Anyway I couldnt sleep due to shivering
I was plenty warm I know I was
I woke up in the night sweating and aching
when I woke up at 3am I decided to go get some pain killers
which turned out to be reading with cereal and a hot chocolate
whilst waiting for the pain killers to kick in
by 4:30am i was asleep once again
waking up at 7am
I was tired -_____-
I curled mum's hair for her this morning
everyone in the house was getting ready for my brother's graduation
I had to take Oz to the vets for his final check up
I ended up waiting. again
but a lady came to sit next to me who had a really cute girl guinea pig
she was a cutie so we talked pigs
Oz got called in, he had to show the vet his bits and when she touched them his back
legs curled in it was so cute i wanted to scoop him up
he was well behaved but did look like he was gonna jump up me
I took him home he is cleared now :)
I came home and went for a shower as I felt gross from last night, keep having to shower twice a day. All the dye has rinsed out my hair so im back to my natural colour which seems to be quite light and even blond. I want to dye it but with me showering so much the dye isnt going to take to my hair it wont last long and just rinse out. very annoying that ive got to wait til ive stopped shivering and sweating!!!
I went online for a lil while whilst sorting
bits and pieces out
i was looking at nail ideas and at jobs
then I had lunch and went to bed cus I felt crappy
I got up and began sewing
my mu told me about my brother's graduation which seemed to go alright
which im pleased about
I went for a 30 min walk with mum
then did more sewing and i got up to the point I wanted to on the cushions for the day
Tomorrow I have a hair cut
Oh thank god!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't tell you how happy I am to have a hair cut!
I can't see cus of my god damn fringe!
to be honest I need my hair dresser's opinion on my fringe im not sure of the style
and what will be best for it, its so heavy i cant do anything with it
but i like it on the sides as i tie my hair up so much
so thats at 10:30am
then im going straight to adam's house for my usual saturday
then i might come back and sew~
going to do vintage style nails for his mum i think
Evening all
I am so tired of these hot and cold sweats!!!
seriously how long is this gonna go on for
my neck feels swollen a lot of the time too
if this isnt my thyroid causing all this I havent a clue what
the real issue is
but gotta wait til 10th for a blood test~
So today I was left with the pets
Oz was playing outside like a good bunny
I checked for him as I opened the back door and took the girls home
I then sat in the living room, convinced I could hear noises in the house
but I was home alone...
eventually the noises sound like rabbit hops..
I went upstairs and I could see on the landing the shadow of 2 rabbit ears
Ozwald!!!!!
Not only had the little git managed to sneak in past me when I took the girls home, he had also managed to climb the stairs - something he's never done in our house
So I chased him and scooped him up and put him outside
I then went to assess the damage
and from the looks of things nothing was damaged!
Later in the morning I danced downstairs and even went to record
jama shinaide here we go! as I felt confident enough to record
what I hadnt counted on was my laptop dying..
i was like "eh whats the crack?"
I couldnt work out why the charge wasnt getting through
then I checked the length of the cable and yup there it was
rabbit teeth marks
the little git has had my cable charger!!!!!!
so my laptop is on borrowed time
I managed to tape up the cable to get it working enough for me to order
my 7th, yes my 7th laptop charger
but the tape thing has worn off and its dying as we speak
it best come soon! my laptop is my only means of connection to the internet
I had some lunch at home
i had been doing some more of the black bird which is almost done
at 2pm i went to adam's house
i spoke with him and his dad about jobs and where im going in life
cant talk to my dad about it you see
then we went for food
i had earl grey tea with lemon cake which was so sickly i dont want to see cake for a long time now adam had steak burger as he hadnt had lunch. i paid
we came to his house
i helped him sort out his pennies. he had £13.50 in pennies
he's been asking me for days to help him do it and seeing as i wasnt in the mood to play pokemon i thought id get it out the way
i went to have a play fight with him on his bed but he told me stop and save my energy for yoga which annoyed me cus damn him having logic but i did say i need to listen and he needs to be harder on me. i listened and relented. booooo
came home for yoga
yoga was good apart from my teacher telling me to slow down XD
got back and got my girls out
tomorrow oz has got his final check up at 9:30
then i get to do as i please all day
my brother has got his graduation tomorrow too~
my nails for this week
