Evening~
Barely slept -____- anxious about work
which was making me ache and feel sick
stupid really cus honestly what is there to be anxious about!?
how does it help thinking about it at midnight!? -___________-
not impressed and did not want to get up when I woke up at 7am
but I did and got myself ready for school
first day of work this year
School wow was i bombarded with information when I got there
I was to flit between 3 classrooms, work with specific children on specific work
and yeah the list went on and I could feel myself getting sick with anxiety
but to be honest I winged it and chilled out - just about
I was working with ages 5 - 6 years so yeah I was fine
and the staff I worked with were fine but very impersonal
I wasnt introduced to any class and some staff didnt even bother to catch my name!
but meh its part of being agency - your treated like an outsider
I came home at lunch and had hot chocolate and cake for lunch
a complete win for me XD
and rested as much as physically possible as I was shattered
cant say i wanted to go back to school but in my head i was telling
myself that it would help pay for manchester if i go next month with mia
at the end of the day i was told that i would be missing half my lunch on friday
to work with child >.> great
i came home and mum made me a tea and had got Oz in his hutch so i didnt have
the horrid daily task of trying to get him from out the shed
I had rang up at lunch the psychiatrist's secretary and asked for more antidepressants
and i had been given a message to say that the prescription was ready to collect
so i dashed out with mum at 4pm and got that so thats a good job done
then i came in and did a 30 min exercise video on youtube
god i had sweat on my neck and everything!
then i did 25mins of yoga and finally sat with Oz then had dinner
that was my day
im just gonna do some doodling now then shower, Oz, bed
tomorrow is school again
and been told it will be a similar day to today but different staff
hopefully it will go ok
and hopefully i will be able to sleep cus my god my eyes sting
oh yes and Ive been given an interview as a science technician on 17th January
cant say im hopeful about getting the job as theres always someone better out there than you isnt there but im still gonna give it a good go
Evening~
I went to bed at 9pm and read til just after 10pm
so when I woke up at realised it was only 11:50pm
I was not best pleased -_____-
why did I wake so soon!?
then I woke up at 3:15 for a bit
then finally woke up at 6am I got up at 6:30am and let Ozwald out in the dark
he likes being out the same time his wild cousins are out X3
so been awake since 6am really
I did my nails last night
and I thought in honour of Oz's birthday I would do bunny nails~
I could have quite easily have fallen back asleep this morning
but instead I got up and set off for the city centre at 9:15am
It was worth going as I managed to finish off my mum's and my brother's birthday presents
so thats a good job done and dusted
I picked up a hoodie for me reduced from £22 to £10 and its extra long ^^
and a pair of shorts reduced from £13 to £5
I was home for 12:20 so Id been a few hours
it was alright and had a good walk round places
I had a hot chocolate when mum came home
she said I havent been eating a lot lately which I havent but my antidepressants
are making me lose my appetite, just dont feel hungry
whereas the others the doctor offered me actually increase your appetite
glad im taking this type!
i think i am glad im on this medication even if it is taking some getting used to
i fell asleep for a bit on my bed as i just couldnt keep my eyes open anymore
then when i got up i some of Oz's birthday cake with a brew
then the agency rang and have offered me work at a school a 5min drive away
ive been once before and it was fine
got 3 days work
and i already feel anxious about it
just cus im so tired im not sure how im gonna get through the day
but with the school being so local at least i can go home for lunch :)
so I start there tomorrow at 8:30am
its work and money I guess
then i went on my laptop, helped with dinner, sat with Oz
i tried my new game as I managed to find for £1.99 in a charity shop today...
Just Dance 2015!! been looking for it in game stores but having no luck
and today it was there just in a charity shop and soooo cheap to!! well happy
it works and i only went on one dance just to see if it worked
its hard but good and got better songs on it than 2014 i have to say
so i look forward to giving that a blast
which might be tomorrow after work as its set to be about 3c tomorrow
so not sure i will be wanting to walk or run after school in that ><
and thats it really
might draw or dance tonight
depending on if i can shift this stomach ache i have
i hope i sleep tonight so im not too shattered for school tomorrow
and i hope school goes ok ><
Konbanwa~~
Today is my beloved Ozwald's 2nd Birthday!! <3 <3 <3
So lucky to have my Oz
he is the best natured bunny I have ever had and I love him so much
very grateful for his loveliness~
I had a little photo shoot of him this morning to take his birthday snap
Look how cute he is, took 15mins for this shot!
he is not an easy model! but thats fine, im patient with him :)
I had a real rubbish nights sleep
honestly I dont think I slept much and was up for an hour
so I was shattered this morning
But i got up and went to see my birthday boy I gave him lots of fuss
and I took my camera out and took a couple of snap shots of him being cute outside
then after I had some cereal I began to make his cake
which went alright, im no pro at cakes
but seems ok I am yet to try it tho
Then did some house work and then laid on my bed think I drifted off for half hour
got up and looked at jobs
then I did 30 mins of yoga
i was just so dead honestly took me til 4pm to feel semi-decent
sick of feeling so crap
its just meds and stuff
i did a 15min work out video
then I did my dinner which was kinda like pizza bread as we had leftover stuff to make it from
and then i sat with Oz for a bit
might do some dancing in a bit and maybe some drawing
evenings feel long at times
think I will do my nails tonight as well
do bunny nails~
tomorrow mum is busy all day
so i might go city centre or something
check sales out
i like to check them out to see if i can buy any gifts for people and store them away
cheaper that way~
Im glad I did something for Oz's birthday tho bless him
plastered his photo on ever social media I have XD
love him~
Konbanwa~
I didn't sleep too bad last night as nights go for me
so i wasnt too shattered this morning
i wasnt sure what to do today whether to go for a run or dance
feel my days revolve round exercise
in the end in the morning
i made something else that needed replacing in the bathroom
so it looks fresher in there and mum is pleased with my craft skills
amazing how faded some things become in the sun light
I did half hour of yoga
my god how i needed to do yoga at 11pm last night as my hips werent quite in socket
but i somehow fell asleep, so this morning i knew i needed to put them back into place
so i did some yoga as yoga 99% of the time puts bones back in place ^^
then i read on my bed for a bit
I got up and went for a walk cus today we had actual sunshine
like clear skies and sun! it reached 14c today! great day
so i felt i should make the most of it and went for a walk just round here
i couldnt be bothered to drive
I came in and did 20 mins of dancing
it was alright cus i could blast music out but i was a bit low on energy
then i did a face pack and had a shower
did some drawing
sat with Oz
my Ozwald who is 2 years old tomorrow!!
i must sort out some stuff to take his photo with tomorrow :3
havent done much else since that really
im quite tired now
i put on a pair of skinny jeans i found in my wardrobe, i wanted to see what my legs look like in skinny jeans and theyre not that skinny :/
dont know if thats a good thing or not really
ive really craved sugar today as well XD but been quite good
making Oz a cake tomorrow so there will be sugar to be had!
i will photograph him tomorrow bless him
tomorrow just baking a cake thats all i got arranged
and i will start looking at jobs again
wow fun!
Evening~~
I didnt fall asleep til gone 11pm
then woke up at 3am to the sound of my brother coming in
then i was dosing on and off til the morning
just shattered
sick of feeling so crappy!!
Didnt do much this morning other than pick up some medication
and some bread with mum
then i read on my bed
I got up and found a half hour dance exercise routine to do on youtube
so i blindly followed that my god i was sweating afterwards
god knows where i found the energy to do it
i went for a much needed shower afterwards
then i did some sewing
the tissue box cover needed renewing in the bathroom so i got on and did that
got it done then sat with Oz
just starting my next picture
not very far with it
just starting with kyubimon first then i will do ninetails
then im gonna help mum do dinner
were doing pizza bread
tomorrow i was seeing tara but 10 mins ago she texted to
say James's dad has been rushed to hospital so she needs to reschedule
i feel bad for james as his dad isnt in the best of health
i hope i can see tara soon
not sure what i will do now tomorrow :/
god i hope i sleep tonight
Evening~
Took me til almost midnight to sleep
then i woke up at 3am needing a wee -____-
but didnt take me too long to get back off to sleep again
then woke up at 8:30am feeling tired
mum originally was having her hair done this morning
so i was planning on going into the city centre but as it turns out
her hair dresser had to cancel last minute but i still got myself ready
to go out, mum seemed disappointed i wasnt spending time with her
and in honesty with the way i was feeling and my banging headache
i wasnt fussed about going into the city
so i relented and decided id spend the day with her :)
so we ended up going to the other end of the city and going
to some shops there we sometimes go but not often as its a ball ache
to travel there just for a few stores
but as it turns out it was worth going
from NEXT i got a jumper reduced from £20 to £3
a bunny top aged 12 years for £9 so cute i think its a girls dress but i will wear it as a top
yes i fit into some childs clothes -____-
then for some reason they had underwear on clearance....
pairs of pants that were originally £8 were £1 each....£1 per pant
i was about hyperventilating not only that but and heres a big but they had bras on clearance...
bras that were originally £20 reduced to....£1
£1
you cant even buy them second hand from a charity shop for £1
trouble was the shop didnt have any changing rooms so i took a gamble and chose 3 bras
and 4 pairs of pants, mum got 7 pants
we about brought the shop out of underwear XD
I got some joggers from TK MAXX for £12 theyre cool they have a design up the leg
theyre actually mens but size small and looked my kinda size
so ive gone from girls aged 12 to small mens in one day XD i wear anything im not arsed
if i like it i wear it~
we left there to go to the nature reserve literally 1min drive from there
we had a brew and a tea cake and then went for a rather cold walk
it was only 3c today and colder tonight too
then we came home it was 2pm by time we got home
we put our purchases away
i sat and read for a bit then i sorted out my underwear draw
mum counted and i have over 30 pairs of pants XD
its cus i pick them up when theyre like £1 or £2 i never pay full price for underwear
then i rested on my bed for a short time as i was shattered and had enough of my headache
then i decided I needed to finish my picture as I only had the outline to sort
so i can safely announce it is done~
its cute and random
not sure what next will be
maybe ninetails and kyubimon?
who knows
but felt good to do a doodle
looking forward to sleep
hopefully i can sleep
tomorrow no plans of yet
i might sew a new tissue box cover for the bathroom
Evening~
i didn't sleep til gone 11pm then woke up at 1am
then woke up at 4:30am where I never did get back off to sleep
i had to get up right away tho as I was woken by tasting sick in my mouth
so when i did wake up my mouth tasted horrid there was no way i could
sleep with that taste
so i got up made a hot chocolate and went to bed at 5:30am but never did sleep
so i got up at 7:30am
went back to bed at 9:20am and slept for an hour and a half thank god
mum said i looked better for it as she said i looked shattered this morning
i weighed myself
and i havent lost or gained anything over the christmas festivities~
go me :D
when i got up i waited for mum to come home
whilst i waited i did some yoga and mum was off out again so i got her
to drop me off and i ran through a park and ran home
it was cold today so it was hard work but my running gear needed a wash
so i thought id get one more wear out of it then wash it really
i knew i needed to do some form of exercise anyway
I came back and washed my car whilst still sweaty and in my running gear
it was cold and my car needed doing i can just never be arsed to do it in the winter
cus the roads are so dirty anyway
but its done now
i came in and had a much needed shower
then i had some porridge and laid on my bed
got up and changed my bed so i have fresh bed tonight~
not that it will help me sleep any better
tried that sleep tea last night and it was the best tasting sleep tea ive ever had
it was just like a herbal tea not like sucking on plant root
it relaxed me but didnt actually send me off to dream land
i will give it another go tonight tho
i did a bit more of my drawing
just got the outline to change colour wise
and its done! i decided to do soft shading instead of harsh cartoon lines
i will finish it tomorrow
i had a hot chocolate with Oz who happily jumped onto my lap and sat there for ever more hes like a cat at times XD i love him
he is the best natured rabbit ive ever owned
he never has an off day or runs away from me or scratches or bites
he just dead chilled and loving
love him
then we had yoga
first yoga session of the year
she did work us i think i could be hurting come tomorrow
the class was full tho surprise surprise
all those people wanting to shed the festive pounds
tomorrow i might go into the city centre and have a proper look round stuff the sales
but i will see its suppose to be -1c so im not keen about going out
