2 weeks of actual rest

Konbanwa

I slept better
thank god
been awake since 5:30am but thats better than it has been

school was fine really nothing special to report
i managed to eat a lot during school
but had awful stomach pains
just not worth it its really not >.>
there was a 'compulsory' meeting about student behaviour after school
i didnt want to go cus i couldnt see the point
i saw head of biology leaving and i said id walk with her
as jack had gone to fetch julia
she was like "eh? you have to go? whats the point?"
i was like "i know right!"
she said "ill talk to them for you"
so we went down to see the guy who was giving the meeting 
and she asked "do support staff have to attend?"
he was like "no not really but youre welcome to"
i said i was outta here

saw jack on my way back up and told him we dont have to attend
he started walking back with me and said
"ah but it looks bad if only julia goes"
i said "well go go, have fun"
he was like "will you be ok by yourself?"
i said "yes, have fun"
julia went as shes got children at the school and wanted to here what would be happening
jack went too
i on the other hand got peace and quiet
got stuff done and left early as i was early to work
they were still in the meeting when i left
and jack said it didnt finish til 4:10pm
yeah i aint daft, staff meeting are the worst and always over run
jack said i had the better end of the deal as it was boring 

i got home
and felt anxious about going chiropractor
mum drove me and came in with me
as i had a gown on mum said "how long has it been swollen?"
i said "its swollen!?"
yep got a rather large lump on the back of my knee....
how i hadnt noticed i had no idea
i had a lot done to my knee and knees
needles in it, massaged, pulled, twisted, cracked
i felt sick afterwards
its now got tape on it to keep it in place
it hadnt gone out of socket but its inflamed, swollen with a lot of fluid, bruised and thats all from walking into the door frame with it
she said it usually takes 4 weeks to fully recover
im about 2 weeks or so in, so i need 2 weeks to heal
thats no dancing for 2 weeks, icing it for 2 weeks and resting it as much as possible
thats gonna be tough
im not good at resting
i am certainly not happy about not exercising it
but its what ive gotta do
so im gonna tell jack tomorrow i gotta watch it at work basically
sure he will be fine with giving me a hand now and again

since coming home i just got stuff ready for tomorrow
had dinner
and ordered stuff online
i won pokemon heart gold for jack
so he owes me
but ill tell him tomorrow he won it
cus hes too busy gaming i think -_____-

tomorrow just friday at work really
nothing special

i hope i sleep again 
its still raining
how much rain can one country have in a week!?
wheres it coming from!?

Sick of nightmares

Evening

I keep having nightmares
so sick of it i really am as it keeps me awake
and you should have seen my bed this morning
even the bottom sheet had come away! 
just how much was i moving in my sleep!?
at least im burning calories in my sleep i guess
my nightmare was that this child/doll/thing was after me
i threw it against a wall and it landed at a dodgy angle
but still got up...
then came at me with knives 
we faught, there was blood
then it starting cutting it's self i asked it to stop then i had to watch as knives slowly seeped out of it skin blood oozing from the cuts
yeah my mind is warped to say the least
i mean where does that even come from?
i dont watch horror or even like blood related stuff
yet i dream gruesome things
and theyres really graphic too
ive been up since 4am
again...
im so tired
what with work and hayfever i am shattered
my eyes look like ive been punched as im tired and have literally rubbed the skin away from my eyes theyve been so itchy from hayfever

anyway today
school was fine
i kept busy and was helping both julia and jack
i made oxygen for julia i was rather proud of myself considering ive only done it twice and both times i watched and guided by jack and he wasnt even there to supervise this time
i got loads done
i hardly ate but still had bad stomach ache
just not fair

i came home in the pouring rain
sick of rain damn it
mum gave me millie to sit with
she took her as i about fell asleep with her and then fell asleep for an hour
i was done in
i couldnt be bothered to talk or listen i just needed tune out time

i havent done anything since then if im honest
just zoning out then getting stuff ready for tomorrow
i knew id find it hard to adjust to working full time
and what with not sleeping, eating and having hay fever
im struggling to keep up!

my leg hurts so much i have a bit of a limp
it is painful and out of place
i even drove home left footed which was an odd experience because driving was pulling my knee. but tomorrow i am going chiropractor and hopefully all will be well after the agonising placing of my knee joint. i hate hyper mobility 
im just cursed 
i cant even think about having it put back in
truly a necessary evil

tomorrow just school and chiropractor really
mum said she might come chiropractor with me which would be nice

god i hope i sleep tonight -____-

6.5mm of rain

Evening

I had a total repeat of yesterday
waking up at 1am
then laying awake from 4am
the rain did not and has not stopped since yesterday
and the direction of the wind was towards my bedroom
therefor splatting rain up my window all sodding night
i could not sleep
im shattered
im dark under my eyes T^T

school was fine
i got all my stuff done
plus a load of jack's as well
i'll be good at physics soon at this rate XD
but he has so much to do so im trying to help
and he totally appreciates it ^^
i ate a banana at lunch but felt like bringing it up so i didnt eat anymore
i listened to all the teacher complain about it being parents evening XD

i got to leave early as i worked extra on friday
as soon as  i got home i had a yogurt, apple and cereal
i was so hungry and felt shaky
i could not be arsed to go to hypnotherapy but of course i went
it was fine and i struggled to come round i think cus i was so tired!

i got home and got changed into my pajamas
and had dinner and sat with Oz as hes not been out all day
well i sat and had a brew with him before work but he hasnt been able to play outside
it literally has not stopped i cant believe how much we've had
i think we have had 6.5mm of rain today it said
which i dont think sounds a lot
my poor brother had to come home during his shift to get changed
as his water proofs were over powered i think
he was cold and wet through
its dark too it feels like autumn

im so tired, dying of hayfever
and everything feels like an effort
so im gonna get my stuff sorted for tomorrow 
have a hot choc with Oz and have an early night i think

just another school day tomorrow

Cookie Nails

Konbanwa~~

I didnt sleep well
woke up at 1am but luckily got back off to sleep
then i woke up at 4am and was pretty much awake from then
id had a nightmare
watching helplessly tourists going into the creepiest forest ever
to watch as the roots of the trees latch on to them and drain the blood from them
the screams, and empty bodies
was disturbing
and i was doing my best to get to the entrance to warn people not to enter 
but how ever hard i tried i simply couldnt find a way in and had to keep enduring the image
so yeah safe to say i didnt want to fall asleep again for a while

i got up showered and got ready
it was a chilly morning but it wasnt raining 
Oz couldnt be arsed to go out so i sat on the sofa having my morning brew with him
then went to work

work was alright actually
the day certainly passed
i dont think i stopped
and we were all almost half hour late for our lunch
i didnt want to eat but my body was shaking so i knew i HAD to eat
and i ate all the food i had on me
i didnt get stomach pains but i did feel like bringing it up

i got all my stuff done and some of jacks
i had a teacher quiz me on my relationship with jack
i knew she knew but she's never brought it up
so it was nice to talk to her
and from her i found out that another teacher knows about us....
we told jack and he pulled the same face i did XD

i rained allllllll afternoon and all evening
hasnt stopped and suppose to be like this all week too
i got home in the rain
sat with Oz who hasnt been arsed to go out today

i did half hour of yoga
went on my laptop
sat and read and that was it really
quite done in to be honest
but hopefully tomorrow will be less tiring
i have hypnotherapy tomorrow where she will be working on my pain
i dont think my pain has been any different from last week really
so im keen for it to work this week

my cookie nails from last night
theyre ok i guess

might play some digimon tonight 

Started Digimon Champions

Evening~~

I didn't sleep great
I ended up getting up for a bit
I did start digimon at 4am tho
it is a weird game its like theyre pets and you have to catch them
i havent played anything like it
hopefully i wont get bored of it

this morning i cleaned my bedroom as it needed doing from
all the fibres the quilt had made 
so it looked better for doing that
then i cleaned the interior of my car
glad i didnt bother washing it as it only poured down again
it thundered and lighting too actually

i played digimon, read some more of my book, then when everyone
had gone out i did 45mins of dancing
i was sweating and it was hard to breathe 
my throat feels raw today for some reason

i want to paint my nails tonight
im gonna do cookies
i did my nails thursday night and by friday after work they were so chipped! D:

been drawing for the last hour just cus i needed another thing to do whilst sitting down
trying to rest today
which is what jack did too from sounds of things 

think tara gets back off her holiday tomorrow
so maybe i can see her soon

tomorrow i have work as per usual
should be an alright day really i hope
just lunch times are my worst at the moment
im hoping it will get better
im gonna take my ipod and listen to that whilst eating as jack suggested it

here's how far i am with my science picture

Bear Paw Quilt

Evening~~

I finished my first week at school!
such an achievement to me!

Friday went alright
Jack was late as he caught the wrong tram i think he was half asleep
so he was 15mins late
which gave me time to plant my little prank
i had written on an empty envelope 
'made you look, made you stare, made you lose your underwear'
and on the reverse side
'10 points to Jo'
such satisfaction
i put it in the 'science technicians' tray in the staff room
as hes the only one to check it
he came in and said "that was unfair Jo, damn you"
ahhhh what a great way to start the working day

a teacher said to me they were doing a forensics year 7 lesson
and was on play ground duty and couldnt set the room how she wanted it
so i offered
i had to find a toy monkey with a screw in it's head
draw a chalk outline round him
stick 'crime scene' tape across the classroom door
i said to the teacher "can i do blood too?"
she said "that will annoy jack wont it...yeah go for it"
so i got paint from the art department
and jack was like "what you doing with that?"
i said "doing blood on a lab floor"
he about blew up saying no and all that
i know how to stress him out XD
i still did it
looked good and the teacher approved 

also i spoke to head of biology and she said they used to have a class hamster...
she stopped having them as it fell on her shoulders to always have the hamster during holiday periods so i said id be thrilled to have a hammy and id look after it
jack was instantly stressed XD
im so gonna win this!
she said "come see me in september and we will discuss it more, i still have the cage and ball and everything"
that would make my year being able to look after a hammy!!!
love my job XD

i ate my dinner inside as it was pouring down
and i couldnt be bothered with it
but i had awful stomach ache
i had forgot my ipod too

i ended up staying 15mins later with jack as i didnt finish with julia til late
but i can finish 15mins early one day next week
so i will do that on a hypnotherapy day
i brought us to my house in the pouring rain 
got my stuff and saw Oz and went to jacks
i was tired from work
he made dinner, we sat round watching comedies and in the end i went to bed
i told he can stay up with theo but i was tired
he came to bed with me  

in the morning we had breakfast
i ached so bad
so i had a hot bath and felt a bit better
i think the week had literally caught up with me
we went looking for pokemon heartgold but didnt have any luck
then we came back to the flat
watching anime
we ate donuts and a cheese and bean wrap
so many anorexic thoughts
theo came in and we joked about i almost fell asleep
and decided to go home i was tired

came home and sorted stuff out
i had got my digimon game in the post and my converse
both of which are in like brand new condition 
so im well happy
im yet to try the shoes on and play the game

not bothering with dinner tonight
cant face more food

its new Killing Eve tonight
cant wait to see it!

tomorrow not sure what im doing as of yet

here's my new quilt its ok but by far not my best

theo and jack love it tho
they want it to stay on the sofa >< 
im glad its getting use i guess

Almost through my first full week!

Evening~~

I slept well
I drank some of that tea that gives you dreams before bed
i dreamed i was a wolf
seems to be a common dream for me some how
perhaps i was one in a former life
i keep waking before my alarm
almost like im worried it will fail to go off on me

anyway school
school was fine really same old
i had a bit of time with jack today which was nice
i also explained to julia my mentalness
and jack made me go sit in the car after trying to suggest we all go eat outside
but i felt that was drawing too much attention to myself
i came in and complained about eating alone
as it does suck
jack suggested i bring my ipod in tomorrow and sit inside and zone off to that
he knows music helps me 
so im gonna give that ago
i just hope julia understands and doesnt think im being rude
im finding it hard to eat tho 
a lot of anorexic thoughts at lunch

i got to repot a shed load of plants today
and some were so small and cute 
jack is taking one for his flat
what he doesnt realise is that ive stuck a sticker on it saying "spike"
as i named it, ive faced it away so he cant see the sticker til he picks it up XD

i came home
couldnt be bothered to talk
i was too damn tired
i just ate loads
god i ate so much but i only managed a banana at lunch

went to yoga
and karen was a right beast honestly that woman will be the death of me one day
all i could think was "i volunteered to come here"
i came back and ate more XD
i feel so bad for eating tho
its all the wrong foods too!

i ordered a digimon game on DS back from 2008 to have ago with
as i wanted a new game to play and im struggling to get into pokemon ultra moon
its just boring 
i got a tshirt in the post its so cool
and i got some face stuff too
a different face oil to try from korea its just a variation of one ive had before and i brought a face base with SPF50 in it so i protect my face this summer

tomorrow i have school
we finish earlier on a friday
i have a fair bit to do tho
i think jack is coming home with me and im staying at his tomorrow night

doing my nails tonight~
i am tired tho
im wearing out
my knee is still not right 
i can see a visit to chiropractor coming up