Almost finished inu x boku picture

Konbanwa~~

I managed to get off to sleep but woke up at 12:30 due to being able to feel blood on my fingers...yes thats nice and normal isnt it! I was scratching, again T_T
this is something i have been doing again lately as i do it in my sleep when i am stressed or mentally just not good. and given everything going off right now im surprised im doing it i am surprised however by waking up to the feel of blood rather than the pain of scratching myself til i bleed!!! thats just mental. and annoying so i ended up getting up for a bit and playing my switch and went back to bed for 2am

this morning i sat with with my girls
truffle climbed all over tillie and tillie was shrieking and screaming
i had to cuddle tillie til she calmed down but she is mardy and truffle couldnt care less who she walks all over >.>

I made biscuits this morning and i made a soup
did 15mins of yoga and 15mins of dance then went for a shower
had my soup and continued with my inu x boku
which is almost done!
i fell asleep and then went for a walk with mum 
so i have done a full hour of exercises today

talked to jack on the phone he seems alright
he wants me to do the drawing again which is fine
i told him i havent done any work today XD
i will do tho tomorrow
he isnt doing a lot of work cus theres not a lot to actually do
he said head of science had his twin baby girls today and i just thought how scary that must be right now, having babies in hospitals....not ideal

i have my physio exercises to do tonight
been doing them for 3 months now
i have my appointment 6th april i need to ring up to see if it is still even happening

i havent done much else today really
tomorrow i will finish the inu x boku picture and then do my work my actual work
and maybe pick something else to draw/make 

tomorrow i would have had Oz 3 years! 

my skin is sore...im ordering stuff online to try help heal my skin
i hope i sleep tonight -_____-

Poorly yesterday but fine now

Evening~

I didnt blog yesterday as I really quite poorly
I hadn't slept well due to having a nightmare about being held down on the floor by monsters/demons and them discussing who would be first to rape me
i hate my rape nightmares...
when I woke up i couldnt open my eyes fully it was strange, my head killed like proper bad headache and my head couldnt process quick enough what my eyes were seeing so i felt dizzy constantly
it was strange, I ached i was shattered and sweating A LOT but i was shivering
i stayed in bed all day, in and out of sleep, on my switch, reading
just in bed as i couldnt do anything and when my head hurt too much from looking at a screen i went to sleep. mum woke me for dinner but said my bed was wet
i had sweated a lot.... she made me go for a second shower >.>
my family were all a bit worried and cautious as they wondered if it was me just being poorly or if i had got the virus
i didnt speak to jack as i just wanted to be left alone also if i told him i was poorly he'd only worry

this morning i woke up fine, no headache or fever and i could open my eyes all the way ^^ 
i felt soooooo much better
so i was glad
and each family member asked how i was feeling
think they were relieved that covid-19 wasnt in the house XD

i did 45mins of yoga this morning
phoned jack but didnt stay on the phone long i didnt have much to say as id been poorly and the art im working on currently might be a birthday present for him
and he's only been gaming. he says this was how his life was before me and work
just inside constantly gaming
sad life huh
ive gotten used to him in glasses tho i have to say

i worked a bit on the inu x boku picture i have done one half
i think its coming along ok but i havent shown it anyone yet so i might ask mum later see what she thinks on how its coming along
i went for a walk too which was bitter >< i went by myself as well
theres loads of police around its strange
even tho i live in a small village/town they are bothering to police it
i thought they'd put their efforts in more densely populated areas :/ 

i was sad earlier as i found out that Monogatari - a group i LOVE have disbanded...
i watched their last live today
i cant believe theyve disbanded and before their major debut too :( 
such talent gone to waste
wont be learning anymore of their dances then T^T

tomorrow i guess i have some actual work to do
i shall make a start designing the school internet logo
i can have a go :/ anything is better than what it is XD
i will work on my inu x boku picture more
and if jack dares send any pictures that need drawing i will have them to draw also >.>
theres a science department meeting tomorrow at 9am online
i told jack i aint attending as theres no point after looking at the agenda its all for teachers
and i personally dont feel like webcaming the staff...feels weird 

ive been playing disgaea and getting screwed over by demons
i forget how much that game screws you over
bloody demons XD but its been nice to play
not sure what game i will play next tho i have to say

hope i sleep tonight
im starting to ache and sweat and my head hurts a bit too now

pokemon place mats so far

Yo~~

I was up til 2am...
I had taken A LOT of pain relief as I was aching and didnt want to feel
and i wanted to sleep!
but could i sleep.....nooooooo
i was just laying there feeling really quite sick if im honest
my stomach was making all sorts of noises too like id actually poisoned it
i got up in the end and went downstairs to play on my switch for a bit
til 1:30am then i read in bed for a bit
i got up at 9am so i missed seeing the girls this morning :(
but i sat outside and watched them on the grass and Oz came to see me too

this morning i did 20mins of dancing but wasnt really feeling
however i have practically finished another dance! just got to improve it really
my idea of recording dances i think has gone tits up as my family is home (apart from dad) and also if i went to record outside somewhere id probably get fined for it
my brother was alone on a skate park today on his BMX and a policeman told him to go ride else where! like nanny state, my brother was not impressed

i had a shower and checked my emails and such
chris still hadnt got back to fully about drawing so i was off the hook for now
jack wanted to video call me - to show me his new glasses
so we talked for a while i always find video calling hard as i hate looking at myself!
and oddly ive kinda gotten used to him with glasses already
its like it suits him, ages him about 5 years but does suit him
i just look totally weird with glasses on 
i think hes chilled out about work a bit he doesnt seem to worried about it all so much and has an idea what work he can get on with
he later emailed me wanting a potassium manganate practical diagram drawing
he gave me a rough one he did on paint and i laughed XD so i did him a good one but i havent heard from him yet if its any good but certainly better than what he can do...

i contacted my cousin to see how she was doing
i was sad to find out her rabbit died this week...and she didnt tell me ether which saddened me further i have to say. poor little guy 

i havent fallen asleep today
i was going to but mum rounded me up for a walk
i found walking hard as i was tired and i think hayfever has started to kick in as i wheezing a bit

my mum brought a random night face cream from TK MAXX several weeks ago and has been enjoying it but it sad she cant find anymore. so i looked on ebay and i brought a 3 piece set for her so same brand but different facial products to use. i surprised her with it last night and she was very very happy and was grateful so i was happy ^^

i ordered some expensive bias binding last night online so i can finish my place mats
heres it cut and stuck down

here's is up to now so its all stitched just needs the bias binding for the border 

jack really likes them so i am happy ^^

i did some drawing, inu x boku manga page
im thinking of doing for jack for his birthday as we both like inu x boku
so i started water colouring it today and was quickly reminded how bad my water colouring skills are...im hoping it will look ok once it is finished if its not good enough for his birthday then i shall do something else. i was doing it anyway but kinda wondered if it would turn out good enough for a gift.

tomorrow
might have more work drawing to actually do
and i might plan out a quilt i have been saving to do for the summer holidays
not sure yet
see how i feel as tonight i have a solid headache and i ache
i feel quite tired and rough actually im hoping im not coming down with anything
feels weird it will be a weekend and i wont be escaping to jack's

I held a shrew!!!

Konbanwa~~

I struggled to sleep and tossed and turned in my sleep a fair bit
I woke up at 5:55am -___- 
as i was aching and thirsty i got up at 6:10am
starting the day at that sodding time >.>
i just wanted pain killers
I let Oz out and it was another frosty morning but Oz isnt arsed most of the time
I thought Id try and take a few snaps of him

my baby boy, he is certainly a round bunny X3 my pork bun
he was happy but then pretty much spent the rest of the day sunning himself
as we've had another sunny day~

I had my occupational health phone call today
lasted 30mins
it was fine just had questions about my health really not a lot else to say
then it will be written up and head quarters gets a copy, jack a copy, and me a copy
no one else which is good. and jack only gets one as hes my manager
'manager' XD
I told him i'd had the phone call and he said he was fetching his glasses
i havent txted him back or spoke to him today

i had a shower after my phone call
and continued working on my place mats
and i practically finished them i just dont have any bias binding :/ 
cant buy any from shops for weeks so i may end up just paying more and buying online or waiting til i can actually buy some from stores but id like them finished and finish them whilst i have a lot of free time

speaking of free time mine going to disappear, I looked how much work chris wants and its a lot and i asked him questions on what ive got to do but he wasnt clear in his reply so i havent been able to start yet as i think hes still waiting for some information
i need to make the most of the free time i have now 

I fell asleep around 1pm for a bit
i just wanted to sleep
played on my switch for a bit
dug out my cross stitch i started like over a year ago but didnt finish so i might do some of that
i went for a walk with mum 
there was a cat on the country road, it had its hairs up on its back and it batted what i thought was a stone but when i looked at the 'stone' i saw it was breathing...
it was a shrew...
so i shooed the cat away
and i picked it up and it was shaking in my hand
my god it was soooooooooo cute
even in its shock like state i found it cute
they weigh from 5-12grams 
i checked it over which was easy to do as it was just quivering and not moving
it didnt have any injuries luckily, so im guessing the cat had just found it
so i covered it over with my other hand so it would be in darkness
and i walked into the woods, mum waited 
and i found a bushy area not to far away and i let it go and i watched it slowly walk off
so im glad i saved it but also glad it was healthy 
and we walked home
would have loved to have brought it home, theyre so damn cute X3

I did some yoga as i was aching
seems to unfair that i ache even tho i do exercise
but i think its cus im slightly stressed over the current situation and stress makes Jo ache
just the way of the illness
so kinda dreading tonight but i will dose myself up

tomorrow
i have some drawing i want or need to do
probably exercise too as per usual
bit weird that i cant go shops or see jack
feels like life years ago when i was sick
my dad is still working but i think hes gonna struggle working in the next few days as everywhere is closing really. I can not imagine life with him constantly 0.0 there will literally be murder in this house i think....

Started my next place mats

Evening

It took a while to sleep last night, even with Flump, I had a lot on my mind
mainly 'can i go 3 weeks without seeing jack?'
I woke up at 7:30am, turned over and next thing i knew it was 8:30am 0.0
i looked and there was 6 plushes on the floor...
usually there isnt any or if there is theres just one
i made sure to tell jack this and I said "i think Flump was getting rid of the competition in the night" he said "yeah seems like something he'd do" XD

In the morning I did 15mins of dance and 15mins of yoga
i felt quite tired so i didnt push it
then i cleaned Oz out which of course he supervised
hes everywhere and its hard not to tread on him!
i had a shower

jack phoned me
bored already XD
he was stressing a bit about work but i think i managed to ease his concerns
he will chill out im sure
hes missing me
says he gets his new glasses tomorrow and will video call me tomorrow with them on
i keep joking saying i have a glasses fetish XD

then i worked a bit on my sewing
i got it all cut out and now just need to sew it now really
i sent jack how far i am and he was happy with it
our house is gonna be so nerdy XD
I saw people's art online and someone had framed their gameboy color and i feel tempted to do that myself but not sure yet
i have other projects i can be getting on with
i want some A3 card but shops are closed arent they T^T

chris sent me a txt at 5pm saying he had sent me an email >.>
i have looked at it and its A LOT of work -____- my god its a lot 
but i will get through it im sure
i just rather be doing my own stuff XD

tomorrow i will work on my sewing i guess
and maybe start chris's work T^T

i really ache tonight for some reason
and im so god damn tired despite sleeping around noon today
so as much as im tired and want to go to bed im also a bit anxious about it simply because of how much i do ache...we shall see

3 week or longer ban

Evening

I slept over at jack's yesterday
i went over 3pm 
in the morning i managed an hour of exercise, i did 45min dance 15min yoga
woo!
and i made soup and biscuits then went for a shower and got my stuff together

at jack's we went for a walk in the city park which was pretty dead
picked up something for dinner
made dinner and then finished chrono crusade which i think jack liked
then we went to bed, i did one level of disgaea but it was 11pm by this point
and i wanted sleep!

this morning we had to get up as jack had a skype meeting with head of science at 9:30am
i for one couldnt be arsed to get up so i let jack get up before me
he made me breakfast ^^ tea cakes~
he had his meeting whilst i talked to theo
from the meeting i learned that unless any staff members give me any work to do i have nothing to do :/ which im not complaining about it just feels weird you know?
jack has safety stuff to do regarding practicals and julia is making revision stuff for her daughter which she will share with science so out the 3 of us so far i have the least to do but could change
if they decide they want art then i could have hours of work!

we cut jack's hair which i weirdly enjoy doing
he has an electric razor thing and just shaves it short, i was making fun of it curling round his ears which it does when it gets like 2cm long so he cut it as he'd had enough of my teasing XD
after he went for a shower and i played on my switch in bed
he came out the shower and he looked perplexed and i asked him what was up
he said that he'd just read the news
that were not suppose to meeting up really
and it goes on for at least 3 weeks
i said "yeah but how they gonna police that? just say youre going pharmacy, simple"
but jack being a stickler for the rules didnt like that response and went into over drive of the rights and wrongs of it all. honestly he is always so worried about doing the wrong thing whereas im always like "sod the rules" once again one of our many differences 
so he got dressed in silence whilst i cuddled flump on the bed
he came and cuddled me and said
"right jo you have 3 choices. first choice you stay home for 3 weeks. second choice you stay with me for 3 weeks and last choice is that you say sod the rules and go to and from our homes"
i let it sink in what he was saying
that basically i could end up not seeing him for 3 weeks. we struggle more than 24 hours apart so how are we gonna cope with this?
i said "i can look after my health better at home. theres room for yoga and dance and i have my medication. I also have my Oz. I also dont think i could put on you for 3 weeks it doesnt feel fair. and i get the feeling you dont like the idea of me breaking the rules"
he held me tighter and said
"its true you have Oz and you have all your needs taken care of at home as theres no where to dance or do yoga here is there. its just gonna be so hard not having you around or seeing you"
he was quiet for a moment and i wondered if he was gonna cry to be honest
i know hes stressed out about this virus but its not forever is it. 
i said "i worry about my mental health tho as sometimes i detached myself from everything if im struggling or if something is too painful."
he said "Jo if youre ever struggling with anything just please come over i dont care about the rules i need you to be well, mentally and physically"

we left his bedroom and went for a walk
but i could tell he had a lot on his mind
so i didnt enjoy it all that much but i was still trying to saver the time with him
we got back and he installed google teams on my laptop so i can talk to staff freely he also showed me how to access my work emails.
and then i grabbed my stuff and grabbed flump and i went home
kinda hasnt sunk in that i wont see him for 3 weeks
gonna be a long 3 weeks
apart of me knows ill probably see him in those 3 weeks
i will crack no doubt

i got home and saw my mum and Oz
then i went to sleep for 40mins and i went for another walk but with mum this time
i got back and went on my laptop
then i had dinner which was pasta - my first pasta of the year!
it was sooooo good ^^
now i have been sorting through fabrics as id like to make a couple more place mats for when i move out so im making Haunter one and a Mudkip one as jack said he likes mudkip
i will start those tomorrow~

tomorrow i will probably dance and do some sewing and drawing
not a lot else to do in the world is there right now
thank god i have hobbies 0.0

these 3 weeks will be testing tho

Evening

took me til 11:30pm to actually sleep my stomach was in knots but i was trying to tune off to everything my head was going off about
i slept til 6:30am, and i had woken in the same position i had fallen asleep in...
very strange for me! i move loads in sleep i know i do
i wanted to go back to sleep but no such luck, needed pain killers
so i got up at 6:45am...on a sunday T^T

so i had a quiet morning til 8am when i knew my parents were up
i made mum a cup of tea, brought her her mother's day card and the guinea pigs all in bed
i couldnt make much of a fuss with her given the virus situation everywhere is shut
but a brew, card and pigs in bed was appreciated ^^

i then went on my laptop for a bit then crawled back into bed
i was cold and tired and didnt really have anything much to do
i got up at 11 and went for a shower
then i went for a walk, had lunch did 40mins of yoga
finished my shana picture

mum says its really good
but yeah i think its alright i guess
might do another manga picture, maybe inu x boku
trying to pick mangas me and jack both know
so i had a flick through the entire series on my shelf for a page to use from inu x boku
and i think i found one, its just not as dynamic as the shana one
i might have a stab at it

sat and played disgaea5 then looked online at what games id like to play next for the switch
not a lot shouted out to me which is why i didnt buy a switch in the first place - a lack of games i would like to play. but i think tales of vespaire or something seemed kinda ok
i was thinking fire emblem but i cant be bothered with it.

gonna do my nails tonight but will just do a normal manicure i think
not in the mood to do nice nails
i dont know why but things dont feel well in Jo's world
maybe its the uncertainty of it all and the fact i have been stripped of all my routine 
i just havent felt happy really
i know theres people out there worse i get that, i mean mentally i havent felt happy
im sure i will snap out of it

i got a txt this morning from school stating there was no meeting anymore in the morning
jack says he isnt going into school tomorrow i could not believe it, he actually isnt going in! strange world we are in right now! i felt sure he was going in even if it was just for an hour!
so i have no clue what is happening now tomorrow as i was gonna pick him up at lunch time and go to his but thats no happening now but i guess i can still see him tho