completed my first week back~

 Otsukararesama deshita~

I managed 3 of my exercise videos and actually did really well and enjoyed myself! To say how dead I was feeling, did surprise me!

I had a hot bath then watched Inuyasha with jack and went to bed, he plays his switch in bed which I dont mind and seem to fall asleep to.

We got a call from chris before we set off for work, he asked if we can pick the DT technician up as funny enough he lives 3 streets from us. It was no trouble and he waiting at the end of our road luckily, so that meant less time in the car for Ozwald. He was like "what you got there!?" as Oz was in his carrying case. I told him that my mum had Oz during the day X3

Today was hectic like mega hectic. Julia was back tho and it was the first time this week the 3 of us had actually been able to work together!

i spent my whole morning with those heart....opening their vacuum packed bags up, draining the blood, placing the head sized hearts into trays for lessons, bagging individual ones up for the freezer, cleaning down, getting the lesson prepped.

When 3rd lesson came round and it was Luke doing the prac i decided to stay and support him with it and the kids loved it. and I was able to wash the stuff up in the lab I was in and get it ready for the next lesson after lunch, I got it all ready and the next teacher asked if i was staying but I said I was on lunch. But I did in fact neck my lunch in 15mins and went up to help, got the stuff ready for the next class straight after.

I then had to get the hearts together and ask jack nicely to take them to the bins outside. as my god they were heavy. Each one weighed 3kg and I got threw 20 hearts...heavy trolley. 

we were 5mins late leaving, i havent even prepped monday but looks an easy day for me, julia has i think 6 practicals so I said I would help her with them.

We came home and mum was here with Oz, she let Oz into the garden as apparently he had done nothing pretty much all day >.> But he seemed happy. I managed to print out a silhouette of a rabbit at work ready to draw round then paint on my lime green door.

Mum stayed for a brew and stayed with us til 5pm when I told her I wanted my food. I was hungry and shaky and had to use the inhaler as I couldnt breathe properly.

had dinner and did feel better, was grateful it was just left over stew.

now just doing my diary, I will get my chunk out to play then maybe do my exercises again and have a bath then yeah see how I feel. Right now I feel shattered but I have managed to complete my first week back and exercise each day too. I hope I can keep this up

tomorrow 

I am seeing mia for a walk around 9am

then I plan to do all my many house hold chores

Ox hearts! and inhalers really work!

 Evening~~

I managed again 3 out of 4 exercise videos, bathed and then watched Inuyasha with Jack. Seems to be working for me. It was kinda nice yesterday as he kept me company whilst I exercised as he played on his switch and we talked, I talked when I could kinda thing XD

I slept well too :)

School was busy.....my god busy

I managed to talk to the nurse and get a badge to say I dont need to wear a mask. I can actually breathe whilst dashing to class! Its amazing!

I got a lot of work done but was running a bit low on energy before lunch. 

After lunch Jack and I went to go fetch hearts.

Hearts I had sourced myself - something Jack usually does for me. However I thought I would take the load off him and do it. I had chosen a butcher I knew where it was and that I could get parked outside.

I had had to chase the hearts up twice this week. But today they had arrived!

We went to get them and I could not believe my eyes. The size....they are huge!

Like the size of a football. Not even joking

thats because all they had been able to source was Ox hearts......dear god

we usually have pig or lamb and lamb hearts are tiny these are just unreal.

Putting them in the car, the guy helped us luckily as each tray weighed almost 30kg.

I waited in the car for jack he came back and looked shocked I said "you ok?"

he said "that cost £240"....my heart sank. I had found hearts but they had literally come with a price. We unusually pay 50p a heart and we got 27 hearts for £240...I felt sick. Jack didnt look happy. Even more unhappy as he couldnt remember his pin for his school bank card (its been so long since he's had to sue it!) so had to pay with his own money which he has got to claim back. 

I felt so responsible for what had happened and I wondered if jack was gonna be off with me

We pulled up at school and jack fetched a trolley and i helped take them to the prep room we had literally 3mins to get to the prep room before the kids come out of school! 

So i was out of breath and felt a bit panicky by the whole thing and started to shake and jack told me sit and he made me a tea and made sure I was ok, he gave me an inhaler which to my surprise actually does work when you cant breathe! i was shocked at how good they were I should have got checked out ages ago! i sat there shaky and shed a few tears. I think it was tiredness, shock and anxiety. 

Luckily that was all at 3pm so didnt have long, the science teachers were going mad by the size of these hearts, they had never seen Ox before. so they are excited. Jack chilled out and said all was well and not to worry. Problem was that they were too big for the fridge so we have left them with ice round them on a trolley as they will be used at 11am.

I said to jack I didnt feel well so he let us leave 5mins early and drove us home

I text mum to say I wasnt coming in I just wanted to get home, so she had Oz ready for me to scoop up

He came in our living room whilst I had a snack and a drink and pain killers, all trying to revive myself. I got there in the end. Made banana biscuits, made dinner which was pizza for jack and left overs for me - so dead easy.

Now I am gonna have Oz out and ring mum :)

tomorrow is school

Julia should be back!! 

Jo is asthmatic

 Evening

I managed to do 3 out of the 4 exercise videos last night.

I had a much needed bath and sat with Jack and watched Inuyasha and slept pretty well

we got up a bit earlier today at 6:15am as we needed to put the thai stew on but we managed

it was also raining, it had rained in the night too. I found Oz sitting out in the rain so I brought him inside for a warm and also so I wouldnt get muddy feet wiped down my uniform as believe me - he would

I put him in his carrying case and dropped him off at mum's we were a bit late leaving so I left his carry case door open and went to work leaving him in the box to come out into mum's garden, mum said it didnt take him long to hop out XD

School was busy

Julia wasnt in, having lost her sister in law only last night. 

We got a phone call from her at work this morning telling us where she had put a few lessons, wo told her not to rush back to work as we were ok, she said they were returning home today and that she would like to come to work on friday

My day was hectic, i was hungry a lot of the time and just running short on energy a lot of the time to be honest. Jack helped a lot and told me to sit quite a few times

Chris came and updated our computers, my hardrive is freaking massive. I could fit a few rabbits  in that thing XD he said it was so it could run photoshop easier. He also put up to date photoshop on it! I said "it would be amazing to have mangastudio5 on this baby" so that was it then, chris was looking at that and said "mangastudio has an offer on for 5 days...its £20" my god thats cheap!!! I about leapt out my seat but said "yeah but then I would need a graphics tablet"

we came to the conclusion that science department could pay for the software and then IT would pay for my graphics tablet *0* 

so I asked head of science nicely if i could have manga studio and he agreed as he knows how good I am on it XD and I said I could make displays and draw diagrams in the booklets - some are terrible.

so I found I graphics tablet i wouldnt mind having and sent it chris. so yeah Jo soon will be able to do art at school! like an actual dream! they look after me there ^^

we came home and mum was here with Oz, which is why he travelled in carrying case X3 so she could bring him here later. We had a brew and then I had doctors

It was confirmed I have asthma, so I was given 2 inhalers. Yet more stuff wrong with my body. I am gonna ask work if I can not wear a mask as I struggle so damn much with my breathing.

I talked to the nurse about my other issues and she said "it does sound like youre starting the menapause early, you need to see the doctor" so I  booked in to see him next week. Yeah Jo could be an old woman in disguise XD im not worried.

Got home and had our thai stew which was bloody amazing i loved it!

Just gonna sit with Oz, Jack has kindly got him in for me and yeah then I will do exercises, have a bath and go bed ><

tomorrow will be another hard day

My team came to my rescue

 Evening

I did my exercises again last night but I showed self restraint as i only did 3 out of the 4 videos. I wanted to do the full thing but also didnt want to wipe myself for the week. I finished up and started to kick myself for not doing all the work outs but i had to talk my self round and think "be grateful you were able to work AND do exercise" I have done well. I had a warm bath.

I slept well, Jack got ready on time this morning 

we took Oz to mums

school was hard

I was on key worker rota, but when i got to my classroom I realised that i was in a hard plastic seat and my seat backed against the wall like literally backed on, I couldnt get in it much therefor there wasnt much room to sit in different positions - which is how I cope with sitting in a seat. It got less then an hour in and I went back to the prep room almost in tears. I was in pain, stressing about how I would get through the day, how much pain id be come the end of the day, and that stressing was making my pain worse. I told julia and jack who both came to my rescue and did my shift for me between them. So grateful. I take being busy rushed off my feet any day over sitting in a chair. Sitting in a chair is a challenge and always will be to me.

but it meant that I was sometimes doing the job of 3 technicians so I was rushed off my feet and very tired. i got it all done and I even got my display up for head of science >< not sure how I even managed to whip that up so fast!

So yes I was very very busy!

We came home and picked my lad up who had had a nice day. He lays down straight away when we put him on the sofa after school, as he knows its brew time and to sit down, but he laid there like mr.muck and got jack to fuss him. I have been a sucker and ordered him treats online which came today.

We came home and did dinner then cleared up and got ready for school

I am jsut doing my diary then I will get Oz out, then do my exercises and then have a bath.

Julia txt me to say shes had to go down to oxford with her family tonight as her sister in law probably wont see the morning so yeah...guess she wont be in tomorrow. Must suck. She told me her sister in law wasnt long for the world like she had days to  live but this is quicker than i thought. I said we would totally cover for her.

tomorrow just school

but at 5:20pm I have doctors to review my asthma chart -_____- dont want to have it confirmed, im also due a blood test which im hoping she wont give me.

First day back as a technician

 Evening

So last night I achieved my exercises, then I had a very hot bath which about killed me off XD

I was very warm after that! Luckily Jack finished gaming early so we watched an episode of Inuyasha and went to bed.

We woke up to my alarm at 6:30am and I had slept pretty well actually. I did take another calm sleeping tablet. Maybe it helped.

I got ready for school, my hair looked fine and i put the wavers through it

I got ready on time, Jack however was rushing around, didnt have time to make lunch so grabbed a pop noodle. I personally think 50mins is enough time for him to get dressed, eat breakfast and make a sandwich which is literally all he has to do in the morning....so we ended up leaving a bit late but we only got there a few mins late. His driving was giving me hearters tho I have to say 0.0 cant cope with that adrenaline at 7:30am 

When we got to school Jack pretty much had to go off and do his key worker role. I hardly saw him all day >< I on the other hand was dealing with the sheer amount of demands from the scientists...so many different things! I think I got it all done and remembered to take breaks and even extra breaks if i needed them. Good news for me was hearts were in on thursday and on friday I think the teachers are doing 3 practicals back to back for me so I get a lot of them done and dusted, think there will be only one class left to do the hearts, so they will need to be frozen but hey 3 out of 4 not frozen is good for me ^^ frozen is messier as i cant drain the blood and the smell is far worse.

So yeah my first day was actually ok and I wasnt too dead, achy or hungry

I drove us home and I didnt stay for long at mums as I wanted my tablets and food basically.

We came home and i sorted myself out, let Oz into the garden, he sounded like he had had a nice day with mum, she had spoiled him >.> 

we did dinner which was easy as I put gammon on this morning

honestly I had time to sort Oz out this morning, get dressed, have breakfast, pack my bag, put the gammon on and do my hair all on time >.>

after dinner I sorted out my stuff for school tomorrow, the usual.

I am gonna see Oz now and then do my work out as god my joints feel like they need it

tomorrow is school and it is hopefully my last ever day of dealing with key worker children!!! much rather be doing my technician job. But gives me time to work on a display for head of science

go back to being a technician tomorrow

 Evening

To say i took a herbal sleeping tablet last night it didnt exactly help that much :/

this morning we got up for our weekly shop which was quite big to be honest and ended up costing over £110....ouch

We came back and unloaded the sheer mass of food and then I popped to mum's were I sat with her and the pigs which was nice, and dad even washed my car whilst I sat! I only washed it last week so that was nice of him. I weighed myself and was a bit disappointed as I had only lost 0.5kg and I have been working so damn hard! But all well a loss is a loss and I mustn't be disheartened by this.

I came home at 11am as I needed to make my soup for the week, I decided to make a tomato soup and add chicken and bacon in it as I need something to keep me going.

We had lunch then I had a sort out of the craft room, just chucking stuff out and putting paint cans in the garage and did other house stuff. I had a half hour lay down with jack which was nice as I was running out of energy! I had cleaned out Oz too, he had enjoyed hindering me....

we went for a walk as the sun was really nice ^^ 

we came back and had a sit with Oz whilst having a brew, I cleaned the bathroom

i kept myself busy with one thing and another as I felt when I was still I was starting to worry about school, well not worry, but more thinking about it and i could feel the nerves building >< 

we had dinner and i cooked my breakfast for the week

then I have come up stairs to watch a few videos and do my diary but I need to get Oz out next. As when I have sat with him I will then do my execises for the day then have a much needed bath!

I plan to have a bath late tonight and not shower in the morning as if I want to work out after school it means showering twice and its not good to do that all the time.

So tomorrow

I am back at school and back to being a technician

jack is returning to school as he is better now, but he is on the key worker rota so will be sat in a classroom, I will be covering for him.

Mum is having Oz for me ^^

Started blood bath picture

 Konbanwa~

Couldnt sleep last night, despite being tired. I kept trying to sleep but got up at 12:45 for pain killers, came to bed and still couldnt sleep so I woke jack. I took yet more pain killers and we watched an episode of black cat - my idea as i needed to take my mind off it all

we went to bed at like 2am T^T

so when we woke up at 8:20am and the electrician was suppose to come at 8:30am, safe to say we had a mad rush to get ready! jack let Oz out but literally as the electrician showed up we heard the tell tale sound of chain saw. My dad and his friend had arrived and had started!! So jack grabbed Oz inside as I didnt want him to freak. Then there was drilling inside cus of new power sockets >< quite a noisy morning!

Oz needed toilet so I put him home and stayed with a few mins to make sure he was ok and not stressed with the noise. But he seemed fine. He had been fine inside too. Cant believe how relaxed he had been actually. So then I decided to do my exercises and went into the bath when I had finished. The electrician left whilst I was in the bath. After I got dressed I cut jack's hair for him. then he had a bath.

We had lunch then rested a bit. we had Oz in a few times he was so sweet :)

I declared I wanted to go out despite being tired, just wanted to get out so we picked up bits from the range I had wanted for a while. All was well, we got a good haul and I spent £50! I brought sweet treats for jack and bath salts for me as my treat XD

we walked to the car and then jumped out my skin as next to my car was a sparrow hawk killing a pigeon. There was blood...I froze just totally transfixed. Jack said not to look at it and went to put the heavy bags in the car. I couldnt move I had frozen. The sparrow hawk had long flown off leaving this pigeon bleeding, coughing up blood. It was suffering. It was horrible. Jack pulled me away, took my bags off me and told me to get in the car. I was in shock i think as i was panting and crying. I just wasnt ready for that!!! Jack drove us home as I was too shook up for that. I stopped shedding tears but I was very drained after that. Jack did tell me as he got in the car the pigeon did fly off.

we got home and he made me tea and got Oz in for me and made sure I was ok

i said "how come you didnt freak out?" 

he said "I saw your reaction and just went into 'make sure Jo is ok' mode" he knows me and how rapidly my body can protest and not function. He knows how to look after me ^^

after I recovered - I ate my sweet juicy pomegranate - we did dinner

I did jack such a good dinner he was so happy with it, omelette, thick bacon, hash browns, beans with sausages in. He loved it XD

we cleared up and came on our computers

i ordered a few bits online like new trainers as mine look tired and i ordered hair bows. Wanted new things really as I havent been able to go out and buy anything cus of lock down :/

all cheap stuff anyway~

I did some drawing, continued from the other night, I want to draw a girl in a bath of blood~

tomorrow

we will get up early for our weekly shop

then I might pop see mum for an hour, and do my weekly weigh in!

I have Oz to clean out, soup to make, bathroom to clean, exercises to do, school to get ready for!