work in progress - umbreon and flareon

 Evening

I slept ok last night, I mean it took a while to get off to sleep as we could hear people shouting for miles over the bloody football -_____- 

I woke up at 4:30am for a huge wee but managed to go back to sleep

we both woke up a few mins before the alarm and even got up!

I didnt want to go school and felt quite sick going

Jack literally held my hand when it came to prepping practicals

I spoke to the print technician about mental health for a while too

I got my day done

and head of science brought us a big packet of white chocolate buttons to say sorry for forgetting to take Jack home, he made sure to bring him home today tho XD

I came home at lunch and had lunch with mummy, the girls came over as our grass is longer than theirs XD and then mum left me to go to sleep which I kinda did for an hour

I did some drawing and looked at stuff online for mummy

Jack came home and I had a cup of tea with him then we went for a walk as it looked like rain so we thought we would go before dinner and its a good job we did as it rained during dinner, we had Oz inside with us whilst we ate as I knew he would sit out in it -____-

Think I will go for a bath in a minute then I can sit and draw for the rest of the evening :) 

I will sit Oz again as well

tomorrow is last day of school this week

at 8:15am I have my first meeting with the school councillor who I have never met but hopefully it should be beneficial. Feels like a long week this week actually  

here is how far I am with my umbreon and flareon picture

Jack got left at school + mummy's canvas

 Evening

I didnt sleep well. I had 3 nightmares. I was screaming in my sleep for someone to wake me. Whether I was actually screaming out loud we will never know as Jack sleeps like the dead

Didnt want to go school

felt sick going to school

School I found difficult. I knew this A-level practical was approaching and its a hard one but I had to actually look at it today. Jack looked at it with me. I broke down in tears. Literally cant handle it.

He said he will help me all the way with it tomorrow

I didnt want to talk to anyone today, just didnt want noise or people

couldnt wait for the day to end really. 

I wasn't going to see my mum today but she turned up before I could text her XD

I felt better for seeing her. Soon went to bed when she left and forgot to set my alarm so I just slept til late. Jack was late coming home didnt get in til 6pm! Head of science said he would give Jack a lift home and ended up going home without him!!! Poor Jack!

I offered to go get him but the time I would get there and back it would be no different from Jack getting a bus as it was tea time traffic. So I stayed  home and made banana biscuits. Got dinner ready for Jack 

I did some drawing as well

After dinner I did 15mins of fast dancing then had a bath

we are just in with Oz who is just spoilt bunbun

Mum fetched my doctors note today and they have signed me off sick!!!! I asked for the altered hours note to continue but instead they have signed me off sick!! How annoying. I am gonna take it to school tomorrow and ask if it will be ok otherwise I will have to get another note >.>

Don't wanna go tomorrow again

Here is mummy's canvas

Good to have Jack back

 Evening

I was sicky anxious when I went to bed last night

just didnt want to go to school in the morning

and was hoping Jack  would be at school to support me

This morning Jack was like "I'm really hungry"

not surprised as he hadnt eaten really 

so he had fruit loaf with honey on, so a plain breakfast and even had mint tea instead of coffee!

I didnt want to go school but was relieved i would have Jack by my side

At school I got my jobs done and the practicals sorted

but its like I literally feel I can not cope if someone orders a practical

ive got bad practicals coming up so god know what Im gonna do then!

I finished painting my space duck and took a photo, I will upload it~ I took it down to the office where the other ducks are kept - waiting for their big race, the competition in style is pants XD

Julia's daughter sarah came in, and I got her making up sugar solutions for me which she managed. Its a case of starting small and building her confidence up

I was saying stuff like "if you need a break feel free to have one. Or if you need a minute just go quietly sit on your mum's chair"

it wasnt til I got home did I think "WHY CANT I BE LIKE WITH MYSELF!!??"

I made it to lunch time then came home

mum came over to have lunch with me and Oz. Oz sat in hay basket snoring away whilst we talked. Its been windy and rainy out so hes not wanted to play out much today. Mum said she would like truffs's fur cutting this week. She said "im sure having long and unruly hair makes her behaviour and ADHD worse" I laughed. We say truffs is feral and has ADHD. I love her and she loves me. Id keep her if I could. Mum likes her really but truffs doesnt have any time for mum XD

I went to bed and when I got up i finished making the clay chimeacho wind chime for Jack's birthday next month, just needed to attach the chimes was all  but it finished it off nicely.

I went and did some drawing as well on my laptop

I started dinner by myself and Jack couldnt get a lift home til late so I didnt want him stressing about helping out with food so I got on and did it which was fine he did help when he came in at 5pm

we had dinner then went for a walk

the weather wasnt great but I was glad of the fresh air although I was tiring out despite it being a short walk.

I had a bath whilst Jack cleared up the pots from dinner

Now I am just in the lounge doing my diary whilst Oz has a hop round

I said I might do my nails tonight as I havent done them in weeks!!! I stopped as my nails were so brittle but they seem to be doing better lately but I kinda just stopped caring about them. I need to make more effort with myself. So I might do a simple design on them during anime tonight

tomorrow

its school T^T its also stew morning so bit more of a hectic morning but we get it done

dont wanna go school, today was a bit better tho. Think my confidence took a knock yesterday. I was glad to have Jack back at my side

mum said she will come over for lunch if I want her to, heres the card she got me on my bedside cabinet ^^

Full on stressful morning - Jack's fault

 Konbanwa~~

I could not sleep last night, proper wound with anxiety, was starting to feel sick

so yeah took a while to sleep -______-

This morning I did not want to go school, but seems there was bigger issues at hand

namely that of Jack and his arsehole

in the hour I was up before school he had to literally run to the toilet 4 times, he was pale as well

he said he did not trust his arse in the car to make it to school

I think it was the curry leftovers. I think the curry should have been consumed on the saturday night not the sunday lunch time....especially as one of those items was a yoghurt thing. Yes it was fridged but I still think it maybe shouldnt have been eaten yesterday ^^; he doesnt learn >.>

So I had to go to school by myself!!!!!!

I was ok about this but my body was fuelled by adrenaline, I was sweating, my heart was going out of rhythm and I felt sick. 

I DID NOT GET A SINGLE BREAK FOR 4 HOURS

the whole time I was school I was on the go

even our tea break was ruined by teachers, who despite can see you with a brew in one hand and biscuit in the other, still stand there shouting demands at you for things that dont have to be done that very second -_____- I was stressed as hell. I also had an physics demonstration to do for first period which I was why out my depth for so asked head of physics for help. I got the equipment and handed it to hannah there was no way I knew how to set it up.

Julia's daughter - sarah - she came in and she didnt get to do much work with me as Julia kept taking her off but that was fine, I didnt mind.  Im sure I will get my time to work with her. We got to talk about anime for all of 3mins.

I left school, and felt like running to my car. I kept it together all the way home

but as soon as I got through the front door and saw Jack I just broke down crying

I had been so stressed and exhausted that I think it just all came out as one release

poor Jack, not what he wanted to see when I get home!

I rang my mum and told her about the day.

We had lunch and then I went to bed

Jack had been to the toilet in the double figures. At 3pm he threw up but said he felt much better after that. He bought his lunch up. But since he has not had to go toilet. 

Dinner was really good even if I was the only one eating. Jack later did himself buttered toast, which I didnt hear him do as I had fallen asleep again 

He offered for me to have food but I said no as I have been greedy lately but he was able to justify everything I had eaten today so asked

"are you saying these things to make me feel better or am I having an issue about food lately?"

he said "No Jo you have been having food issues lately"

I think I am over eating, over indulging 

I need to watch this....

I did a bit of yoga then had a bath

I am hoping that Jack is at school tomorrow I can not face going in alone tomorrow

im sure he's hoping hes feeling better think hes fed up of the bathroom scenery today!

I rang up for my altered hour doctors note to be extended by the doctor until 16th  

wet bunbun again

 Evening

We didnt got to bed til 11pm T^T

I woke up at 7:30am needing a wee and a drink

I left Jack in bed for another hour

I had fruit loaf for breakfast but in total today I ate 5 slices.....woops...greed....

We did our weekly shop but I ended up getting a trolley too as we needed so much stuff for work that it wouldnt fit in our trolley. That wore me out

We had a brew when we came in

then Jack helped me with my soup, I left that cooking and cleaned the bathroom but felt tired, I did it tho.

We had lunch then I helped Jack take the kitchen door off its hinges. We never use it and its so narrow getting into the kitchen, the door does not help its in the way and I have wanted it gone for ages. But it was so difficult!! Its gone and we both said how much better it is for it!!!

I went to bed for a hour

woke up and went to mum's for 90mins for a brew and sit with the girls

I came home and baked some biscuits and then did dinner

after dinner I went on my laptop then did 40mins of exercise, had a nice long warm bath then I had to rescue Oz in from the rain as I was in the bath and Jack was oblivious gaming. Oz doesnt have the common sense to run for cover. So he is in with me feeling sorry for his little self. Hes always sitting out in the rain.....

Might cap the day off with milk hot chocolate as I seem to be having the wrong things all weekend!

Tomorrow is school

I am a bit anxious about it already

and I just dont want to go. simple

first friends to see the house

 Evening~

I slept pretty well last night and got up at 7:45am feeling like death

my body was shaky, I was pale and drained. Almost like I was coming down with something

So my morning did not go to plan. I had breakfast then laid on my bed

at 9:45am Jack made me a sweet tea and fruit loaf to try get my energy going

I felt a tiny bit better but still was not right it was so frustrating

He helped me clean Oz out bless him. Then I asked to go on a slow walk to try get myself going a bit and he came with me and did that

we rested when we got home, had lunch then I went to bed for a bit

when I got up I felt sweaty and clammy so decided to have a relaxing bath before the guys came over

We had been tidying a little bit here and there but wasnt much to tidy as we keep on top of it anyway but Jack was doing more tidying than usual, think he is house proud ^^

The guys came over and had the house tour, I sat with them for half hour then I left Jack to it as I didnt have the energy really. 

I went to paint my cupboard door under the stairs as it got a lot of marks on it from when we had the carpets laid and it was bothering me. So I painted clouds on it ^^

I laid on my bed to recover then Jack came through to ask if I wanted to play a drawing game with the guys. Its one of Brandon's games and its like the only board game I understand XD

their food came - curry - so I microwaved my thai stew leftovers and ate with them

we ordered pudding - I had white chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream, white chocolate curls all in a chocolate covered waffle coney thing. I ate all of it!!! Well happy with it and harvey let me have his ice cream which was cookie dough!! So I had my two favourite flavours today!!! <3 lucky me

tasted so damn good

the guys stayed til 9:45pm 

Oz came in a couple of times for fuss and attention and my god did he lap up the fuss. He was swanning around like he owned the place. Not timid in the slightest despite never seeing the guys before he was coming up for fuss and stuff and yeah just cocky.

The guys left and Jack cleared up the takeaway stuff and the pots, Ive booted him in the shower now, he aint coming in my bed without a shower even if it is 10:30pm

Im tired but got tummy ache. Tummy did not appreciate ice cream, but I did~

It was nice people finally got to see the house anyway

need my friends to actually see it! They all liked the house and took interest in things and yeah it was nice to actually have people over. Im glad it was Jack's friends not mine as I didnt have the energy to entertain for hours. I needed time to relax but that gave time alone with his friends and I think its important to have that. We are not joined at the hip after all!

tomorrow

weekly shop and chores >.>

I might add gold to the clouds, see what it looks like when it all dries

mummy liked her canvas

 Evening

I have done the week!!!!!!!!!

I know it was only a half hour week but it is still an achievement

I slept ok, and this morning I was white with matching white lips~ woo

I got to school and was grouchy, didnt want to go to school. However I wasnt anxious. I hadnt been anxious all night and morning so that is a good thing ^^ maybe my meds are helping~~

I found there was a yellow rubber ducky on my desk ready for me to decorate for the science department I was so excited for this!! The school is doing a rubber duck sponsored race down the river trent. Theres a competition for 'best looking' duck - which is what I want to enter!! So I am doing a science space themed duck! I started by using black desk paint and made the whole thing black but the paint took too long to dry so I wasnt able to add to it. I will continue monday. Then a chemist said "we should do one for chemistry, biology and physics" to which head of biology said "in that case we bagsie Jo to do our duck as shes on biology team" XD I have got the option whether to do 1 duck or 3 as 3 could be a fair bit of work ^^;

I got my jobs done and was keen to go home as I had had a cracking headache all morning, adding to the list of reasons why I couldnt think straight! 

I got home and mum pulled up literally 30seconds later

she had brought the girls with her again ^^

We had lunch together and I gave her my therapy canvas I did. She said it was amazing and the best canvas I have done yet!! So I was happy she liked it. She also said she was only looking in the spare room last week thinking how empty it felt like it needed something on the walls so she knows exactly where she is putting this! I am glad it has a good home~

She left me so I could go to sleep and sleep I did as I was shattered

and from there I didnt do much to be honest

I was dead and drained. So I laid round on the bed for hours, getting up to microwave our leftovers then after dinner I found the energy to dust our bedroom, its not a big job but it was enough then managed some exercise, the whole time my body feeling like it weighs double

then had a much needed shower as it was another warm evening

tomorrow

think we are gonna try get our chores out the way in the morning then I think theo, harvey and brandon are having their first visit to the bungalow around 3/4pm

of course drinking and take away is involved! Its all they know how to do! -____-