some birthday day out

 evening

I didnt sleep that well, waking up aching the usual.

I woke up at 5mins before the alarm so 5:55am T^T

I got up with Jack and brought Oz in and Jack got off on time

and I fell asleep for 2 and a half hours....just what the actual hell! I can not remember the last time I slept for so long in one go during the day. I must have just been exhausted. I got up and had the second half of my breakfast and a cup of tea. I needed to start work but I just couldnt. I still felt like I needed sleep. I procrastinated and I felt terrible for it. I felt like such a failure, I should have taken the day off sick not work from home. As I hadnt worked. I felt like I had let Jack and myself down. I was even tempted to ring him and tell him I had done NOTHING.

I think when my body is allowed rest it TAKES IT. It over takes. Like it worries when it will next get rest. I think I constantly battle with my chronic fatigue and dont even fully appreciate the rest my body needs. I am not good at rest. Jack was happy I had actually rested a bit today.

But after I had a lunch of carbs and sugar I found the energy and will power to start my work and I kept at it for hours straight. I brought Oz inside as he had enjoyed playing outside today which was nice. I kept doing bits of work and checking on him. Started dinner so it would be ready for Jack when he came home. 

We had dinner and we had a quick catch up but I kept talking to him whilst he did a few jobs and then I let him have a shower and go game

I managed to do a bit of exercise and it about killed me off. It wasnt even hard. I put Oz home and cleaned the bathroom somehow. Had a very hot bath. Now doing my diary. I will do a bit more work even tho its 9pm and I will finish it tomorrow. i dont feel happy with where I got up to.

Jack says its fine but I have a standard. 

My mum went out for the day with my dad but dad was a total arsehole by answering calls on his phone - work calls - calls that could wait as hes not at work. She even sent me a photo of him in the cafe on his phone ordering car parts....how bloody selfish. Its your wifes's birthday outing and you cant even give her a few hours of your time. Whats worse is since theyve been home my brother has txt to say what a foul mood hes been in all evening. I would absolutely lace into Jack if he had been like that with me. My mums way of coping was going for a walk by herself when she got home. I think to cool off so she didnt have a full blown argument as my dad isnt good as saying sorry or even acknowledging that hes in the wrong. So in my mums eyes its not worth the argument. To me id have to say it how it is otherwise how do they know? i cant let things simmer

I have since offered to go out with her tomorrow morning but I think shes content with me coming over tomorrow morning. I dont know what I will say to my dad if I see him

arsehole

so tomorrow

in the morning I have Ozwald to clean out and make fresh bunbun. Then I will see mum and my brother as he is changing my laptop battery and putting a new screen protector on Jack's new phone. Then I think after lunch Jack's step dad is coming over to help him clean out a blocked radiator as the one in the living room is blocked full of crap and gives out no heat. It is freezing in there.

Jack has an interview

 Evening

I slept a lot better for whatever reason

This morning Oz was in a bit of a mood tho. Sour dough loaf he was

School, I was being delivered fish heads XD Julia even asked me to wash her daughter's fish head so it wasnt as bloody....

Then around 9:30am Jack checked his emails and he had an email offering him an interview on monday! Its at the school that is on the same road as ours and you can be at it in 10mins by walking. Thats at 8:30am so he can come school with me, put his  lessons out then walk to his interview. He will be wearing a suit~~ I am pleased for him. It does his confidence some good. I can tell hes a bit stressed about it tho.

It got to lunch time and it was literally hurting me to stand. I was about done. But I had so much to still do. I couldnt bare to leave Jack tomorrow but I still printed off the sheet for monday. And in my last 45mins of the day I prepped monday. I have prepped tomorrow as well obviously but did monday just in case I wasn't in tomorrow. I told Jack I dont want to leave him as I have too much on tomorrow. But he says my health comes first.

We got home and mummy was here and she had let Oz out. I went out to him three times to get him in and he ran away each time. I was fed up of going out for him as it was hurting me so much but I got him in the end. Not sure whats up with him. He hasnt even wanted much fuss. Until the point of him going home then he decided he wanted fuss.  I gave it and I got a whole beard of Oz fur. He is shedding....

Mum was happy to see me and Jack left us to it.

Mummy went and I said I might see her saturday as she going out tomorrow with dad for her birthday.

I did dinner which was a freezer leftover portion of thai stew for me and pizza for jack. The one unhealthy meal he gets each week. Everything else is cooked from scratch.

I rested after dinner as I couldnt do much. The pain makes me want to cry. It just does not let up.

I didnt do any exercise. I need a day off. I was thinking of maybe not going in tomorrow but I am worried about Jack - who already has a tension stress headache. But he actually just told me to work from home and doesnt even want me to take him or pick him up......we've never done that before but he said he might hitch a lift off someone at work maybe.

I had a bath and massaged my legs which felt nice

Jack is in the bath, we will watch anime and go bed

tomorrow I guess I am working from home! I have plenty to do, shed loads of biology - especially after my lesson today ><' 

be a long day tho as Jack will leave the house extra early and also mum wont be over for lunch T^T then when Jack does get home he needs to eat and bathe then go play games for 4 hours T^T

gave mummy the molcar

 Evening

Mummy's birthday today!

Luckily I slept a bit better last night but still felt as tired as always

School was fun in the morning tho as I had students knocking at my door giving me fish heads. I think I freaked one guy out as he was like "er I have a fish head" I said like dead pan "give it to me" XD

I went in during the practical and heard this

"sir can I give my fish a kiss?"

"sir my fish bit me man"

"sir my fish is drooling"

I was laughing and it was good to see

I have it again tomorrow so yay i get to see another selection of fish heads :3

I managed my day just about but it was hurting to stand and walk and so I took it easy the rest of the afternoon as I had burnt myself out pretty badly in the morning....

We got home and mummy was here! its mummy's birthday ^^ she had made lovely little cup cakes so we sat with Oz having cup cakes and tea it was a nice treat. Mummy opened her presents too and she really loved what I got for her. 100% guinea pig presents. Molcar was probably her favourite XD So that was nice and shes since sent a txt thanking me for everything. She loved that molcar, she thought it was so sweet and wants to put it somewhere she can see it often a.k.a her guinea pig shrine in her bedroom XD my brother has since sent me a photo of the molcar - he likes it XD

She left and I somehow managed 30mins of yoga, had a bath, did my biscuits, dished dinner.

Now just doing diary in the kitchen whilst Jack washes up, I will take Oz home and watch anime with hot chocolate and the remaining cupcakes~~~

tomorrow

i really want to go to school but I am in a lot of pain. Despite having a MEGA HOT bath earlier that had me glowing like a lobster and unable to feel temperature once I was out XD I did it to kill the aches but theyre back with a vengeance. So I really want to go tomorrow but god knows what state I will be in. I have my lesson tomorrow and fish heads~ 

1 whole week of hurting to walk and stand

 Evening

Im struggling to stay asleep T^T keep waking up cold or aching or both

I once again woke up before my alarm so got up for a wee, did my teeth then I woke Jack up ^^

School was ok I guess. I just had a lot of talking

talking = Jo giving out best energy = Jo knackered and burnt out -_____-

I always want people to feel they can talk to me and Im not just some drained miserable husk of a human being. So I give them my best energy when they talk to me. But it is exhausting T^T

still its good to talk to people I guess

we came home and mum was already here and let Oz out

I had a cup of tea with Oz and mum, Jack went upstairs on his PC. I painted mum's nails. She having her hair done tomorrow so she will be fresh with nails and hair on her birthday tomorrow!

We did dinner which was so good and simple god it was tasty tho

then I prepped a bit for my stew in the morning, went on my new just dance 2016 as mum brought my post over and that had arrived! so I did 20mins but that was an ask. I felt like I had been on it 45mins. I was so exhausted. Its hurting to stand and walk....

I called Jack over and we both sat together fussing Oz so that was nice, then took him home bless him. Hes had such a nice day today.

I had a bath then I am gonna do some chores before bed cus you know thats what you do when you work full time and have a house. You have no life, no time for yourself or energy

tomorrow

school, got 2 practicals one of which is the fish head prac XD i love it. So tomorrow morning kids will be coming to my prep room door handing me fish heads to put in my fridge XD love it

and when I get home mummy is coming over with cakes she will make tomorrow as its her birthday and we can give her her pressie :3

please god let me sleep tonight. I even took extra pain killers last night in the hopes of sleeping but nah

just another mundane monday

 Evening~~

I didnt sleep well last night. I kept waking up cold and aching T^T So I was quite tired this morning. I woke up at 6am, then was waking every 5 mins to my alarm as I was aware it would be going off soon and would no doubt make me jump! So at 5 mins til my alarm I turned it off and woke my Jack up. We had a quick cuddle and got up

School was ok. No practicals, so it was an easy enough day. I was just tired and it was also hurting me still to walk. Not as bad as last week but it was still there a bit. So I was trying to stay off my feet so I wouldnt be in horrendous pain for the rest of the week.

I also printed off the teacher's 50th birthday card I made. No one said anything about it. Ether they thought it was shop brought or being the boring science types, they probably didnt even notice the front cover....

We got home and sat with Oz and a brew. I started dinner before 5pm as I was hungry and didnt want to snack on crap. It was noodles and I was looking forward to it ^^

I have got to do some exercise and have a bath yet. Maybe do some drawing? not sure yet. Not sure what exercise to do ether actually....tempted to do work out but also dont want to do myself in and not sure what energy I have. So maybe just dance? but done that last few days. So I am not sure. I miss my kettle bell. Not done it for a week! lets do kettle bell XD

I AM SO TIRED THO

my eyes feel like where my cheeks are. theyre hanging down my face. I NEED sleep

I will be in bed on time for sure

tomorrow

just school then see mummy after school ^^

We played Just Dance together

 Evening

So last night we gave each other a 25min massage

I did Jack first and he enjoyed it, I asked him if I was hurting him at all be he was fine

Whereas with me I was like 'gentle there please!' my body is mega sensitive right now, my fybromylgia is on hyper sensitive mode. So yeah he hurt me a bit but backed off when I said. But it was nice to not think about my pain for 25mins

We watched anime with hot chocolate and went to bed

When I woke up I felt like I had been ran over....god I hurt. I told Jack I hurt from massage in places, he instantly felt bad but I said it was fine. I just felt like I was covered in bruises. Shows how light of a massage I usually get from Charlotte

this morning it was shopping, we let Oz outside before we set off and it was nice to see him play out in the morning. The mornings are getting lighter ^^

Shopping was alright, I felt fine about it all too. Just exhausted! and bruised ><

we got back and brought Oz in for carrot, unpacked and had a cup of tea

I didnt need to make soup this week but I made biscuits, cooked my breakfast chicken, prepped the fish for tonight and pork for tomorrow. So I was still in the kitchen for a bit. And I was so tired

after lunch I went bed for an hour

I got up and spent my afternoon doing science stuff. Still not finished but I didnt want to be doing it through the evening as I wouldnt be taking any information in. So I will finish it next weekend.

We had 4pm brew with Oz and I worked on my science a bit more whilst Jack sat with Oz

I did dinner, and it was good

after dinner

we played Just dance 2017 together! I asked Jack if he would like to play with me as we usually do a walk together and we didnt this weekend just to preserve my legs. So he played. He did 3 dances with me. 3 I  hadnt done before and he beat me at one. He picked all the stupid dances tho >.> I did a couple more afterwards by myself as he had enough.

I had a bath and a pamper, so I did face scrub, face sheet, dyed eyelashes, put the wow dream coat in my hair. So I feel fresh~~~~~it was effort but sometimes I enjoy taking care of myself. Self care is important. I enjoyed it and doesnt feel like a chore~

Just waiting for Jack to finish up in the bath then I think we will watch anime and go bed. I am ready for bed too -_________-

but its school when I wake up T^T

so yeah just school tomorrow really nothing special. 

I will need to print out that teachers 50th birthday card and get it signed as she doesnt work mondays so I need to get on with it!

had homemade fruit loaf and need a new battery

 Evening

I think I must have just been drifting off to sleep when Jack came to bed and that was it then. Everything was screaming at me so we were up then waiting for the extra pain killers to kick in. We were up til almost midnight. I kept waking in the night just hurting and having to get into a new position. 

I woke up at 8am

I brought Oz in who was harassing me for carrot, he was waiting on the sofa for his carrot. Feeling like a stressed single parent, I woke Jack up for support and showed him Oz and he understood my need to wake him XD

So this morning I cleaned my little boy out, I did a bit of science work which was just painting diagrams. then at 11am I went over to see mum for a couple of hours. She gave me home made fruit loaf which was nice. My brother took my laptop off me to have a study of it. He also jet washed the mud off my car as he was doing his own. He said to wash my car

so when I came home at 1pm, we had lunch, I went to bed for an hour as I had been tired all damn morning then Jack helped me wash my car which was nice of him. I hoovered it out and just gave it a quick dusting inside. So shes all clean~

We came inside and had a cup of tea to warm us up and I brought Ozwald in too. He been very tired all day I am unsure why! but he seems happy enough. He didnt do any humping action anyway thank god

I did dinner and luckily my brother came over on his way to his girlfriends house with my laptop and said I need to order a new battery. That isnt such a bad diagnosis at least! So we could watch the last episode of toradora which was good timing as I was looking forward to it but I am not sure how I feel about the last episode. Think were watching something like magus bride next?

I did some yoga after dinner, I wanted to go on just dance but Jack suggested something a little more sedate :/ so I did 35mins of yoga. Oz didnt join in >< 

I had a bath, cut Jack's hair, finished off my painting for the day

Just waiting for him to come out the bath then we are going to do massages!! I suggested it the other night and Jack was up for doing it and we said we do it at the weekend. Mainly to help me and the aches I have been feeling. So I am doing him first then he will do me. Then we will have hot chocolate, I might paint my nails too tonight.

tomorrow

I have weekly shop to do, not got soup to make as I have 10 portions in the freezer XD so I just have a bit of meat to sort out and biscuits to make and thats it~