Jack's warhammer pics

 Evening

I was so shattered yesterday

I was in bed at 8:45pm, Jack was gaming online with Chris and friends

I fell asleep at 10pm after playing on my switch an hour.

I woke up at midnight to feel eyes on me. It was Jack coming to bed. I had fallen asleep in my usual position on my side of the bed. How the hell did I end up facing the other way totally sprawled out like Id been hit by a car!? so Jack could actually get into the bed XD he said he came in, realised what position I was in, and gonna go sleep on the sofa. But I had woke up. So I let him into bed.

I then woke up 45mins later and yeah, couldnt get off again. I was up til almost 2. I had pain killers and a biscuit. 

I woke up at 7:45am. I was shattered but needed to get up. Jack made me breakfast which was fruit loaf XD It was good ^^ been having yogurt and cereal for a while now.

We had a lazy morning with Ozwald then we went and did our food shop we were like ninjas! 

We got back and had a brew then I prepped meat and made biscuits.

we had lunch on time then after lunch we both went to do painting!

I painted a picture of flowers and cacti its still not finished. Jack did warhammer painting. He finished one person the other day and I offered to take photos and edit them a bit as Jack sucks at taking photos and he took me up on the offer

I  did some digital drawing.  then did the dinner. I then did a 40min work out. I feel like I have done a good work out. I have been eating so much chocolate from easter each day. So doing a work out doesnt make me feel 100% guilty for eating bad foods. I had a bath and now just sitting with a sheet mask on whilst I do my diary. 

I might get round to doing some more digital drawing before bed.

Once Jack is out the bath we will watch anime and go bed to play on switchs. 

I might need to water the garden as well actually :/ 

tomorrow

is school T^T soon comes round doesnt it. I will be able to see if my bacteria has grown or not. I still have bacteria work to do as well. I cant tell you how many hours it takes me. Mum says she will see me for lunch.

Didn't do my CV but Jack did his

 Evening

Jack came to bed at 10:45pm. But didnt matter all that much as I was enjoying playing on my switch. I slept through the night and woke up at 7:30am

I had a slow morning as I was bit like death from reflex. However I seem to be coping much better this time round on my new inhaler.

I cleaned Oz out and was about to wash my face when mummy pulled up out front!

she had bought us a couple of cheap garden plants and some flowers for me ^^ she stayed and had a cup of tea with us then left

Jack went upstairs to do his CV I did go to start mine but word was playing up and wouldnt save so I gave up and I havent found a job I want to apply to anyway. Jack said he would type mine up sometime.

We had lunch then I laid on my bed an hour

I think I would have wasted my day but Jack said we would go for a walk but I didnt want to take him away from his CV. He said fresh air would be good

We did a good walk and I was exhausted. I was glad I did it and meant I didnt need to do any exercise later on. We had a cup of tea then Jack went to finish his CV and apply for the job.

I rang my brother, cleaned the bathroom and did the dinner. Then I watered the garden with Oz. I could see he was hungry so I bought him in for food as I knew he would just savage plants >.> hes so happy hes just ate, drank, and flopped on plush pad. What a life.

I had a bath, Jack is in the  bath then hes going to play online board games with Chris and crew. They couldnt meet up this time so everyone said to play online

so friday and saturday night I am alone

i can cope

I will do my nails later and play on my switch in bed

tomorrow

got food shop then a lot of food cooking to do!

Think we'll do CVs tomorrow

 Evening

I slept ok once I got off. It was the getting off that was the problem. 

Jack was a bit flat this morning, said he didnt want to go school, wanted to call up sick, didnt want to game tonight. He just hates his job and its getting him down. I can see it is

We got to school and I was once again trying to fit 8 hours in 4. I did so much. I was exhausted. Its impressive how much I can achieve.

I came home to find mummy gardening. She had done 2 hours of weeding T^T shes amazing.  I hope her back is ok tomorrow. Shes done a fantastic job! She came inside with me and Oz and I ate my lunch and she had a brew before going home for her own lunch. she had brought Jack a Pina Colada cider to try,

When she left I got my painting out once again, its slowly coming together. I then did a work out for 35mins which was good and then I had a bath, Jack came home and had a quick bath, we had dinner then I had to go for reflex at 6pm. Jack had the cider with dinner and really enjoyed it. Reflex was so relaxing. But charlotte said the whole time I was laid out my lips were pale. But over all I am improving by the look of my feet anyway! She said I had a lump in my stomach which is mostly caused by stress - work im guessing

I came home and got Oz out. Having some quiet time with the lad before I go into bed on my switch. I think I will just play quietly in bed. I am too tired to do much else!

tomorrow

weekend woohoo! Not having to wake at 6:15am!! 

think were both gonna do CVs, gardening,  got Oz to clean out and shopping list to do.

starting my new inhaler again tonight.

first week back after easter had been awful

Cried already at work even tho Im part time!

 Evening

Last night we found out that Jack didnt get the job he interviewed for during easter holidays

I could tell he was disappointed. I feel bad for him but getting a new job is NOT that easy. Yes his current job has been his only job and only place he interviewed for. He practically walked into it. Hes never experienced how job hunting truly is. Me on the other hand - Ive had shed loads of interviews! 

I did feel for him tho as I could he was disappointed

I laid awake in bed thinking about careers for us both and money

im quite stressed out if I am honest

I had anxiety on the journey to school

I broke down in tears around 9:30am at school

I am expected to some how do 8 hours work in 4 hours

i mean we are already doing the work of another person due to school being to tight to high more technicians. We should have 2 more technicians to match the amount of hours of science practicals we do. And now cus of me we have got to do even more work

I broke down

I feel more miserable, unsupported, exploited and stressed than I did before becoming part time. The amount of work  HAS NOT CHANGED and yet I am expected to it? I am gonna make myself so sick in not much time. Honestly today, if I could afford it, I would have handed my notice in then and there. Jack was cut up about it all. Its obviously not nice seeing your loved one so upset but he also feels a bit responsible as hes my line manager.

So we sat down and said that the amount of practical hours has got to match with our technician hours. Julia had 16 washing up bowls of washing up on her prep room floor as she had refused to stay hours late after her shift (no over time paid)  to wash up, she usually does stay and we say GO HOME! but she says "yes but who will do it?" we said today if she sticks to her actual working hours and goes home and leaves the washing up then one day we will run out of clean equipment and maybe people will see how much extra time is needed. Head of science had agreed that if we dont have enough technician hours to fill practical hours then some practicals would need to be cut - he agreed to this when I was off work sick. But I feel it still needs to hold up now.

so Jack emailed head of science as I was leaving saying we are cutting back practicals as we dont have enough technician hours. Head of science hasnt responded....

I broke my back leaning over doing all the micro biology work

I went home exhausted, had a grouch at my poor mum waiting to meet me here

she went home, I ate lunch and went bed for 45mins. I decided not to sleep and to get up and do some painting. I enjoyed myself actually. I needed that tune off time. I also had a look at jobs. Jack has another - better - job to apply for at the weekend. It would be a dream if he got that job!!!!!

I picked Jack up from the chippy he had got a chippy tea and I warmed some korean noodles from the freezer for my dinner

after dinner I did another grow with jo mood boost, brought Oz in for some fuss as he looked like orphan all day. He has loved fuss. He definitely enjoys being inside >.> I had a bath now doing diary. Probably watch anime and go bed.

tomorrow its friday thank god.

i hate my job. I am so unhappy there. so unappreciated. The sooner we both leave the better

I worked out for the first time in months!

 Evening

Last night, well 6:30pm I got up and did my first work out in months!

due to being so sick and fatigued I have been unable to do work outs, heck not even been able to play just dance much! I have missed working out and I have been waiting to feel well enough to start back up again. I do not want to lose my fitness, stamina and muscles!!

So I did a 30min GrowWithJo Mood Boost video! I actually really enjoyed myself

yes it was hard

yes I sweated for britain

but I enjoyed myself, I felt better for doing

I actually think it helped me sleep too

I would like to do another workout today if I can

it says on her channel if you stick with it for 30 days you can lose 5% of your body fat

I AM DOWN FOR THAT!

I want to feel better about my body as I know and can FEEL I have put weight on (still not gonna weigh myself to find out the true damage) 

This morning 

it was school, and I started to panic a bit at the sheer amount of bacteria work I have got to do. Jack wrote out a 'to do' list for the bacteria. so much to do. I had other pracs to do as well. I got a lot done today and felt knackered when I finished I couldnt wait to go home

mum came over and had lunch with me, she also brought the sows which was nice so they played out with Ozwald

the nurse rang, i had waited 10 days for a 1 minute 45 second phone call, all to ask "can I use this inhaler?" as it was giving me so many side affects. She said to stick with it, should calm down and could take a month to get used to it. So I will start it up on friday. See how i go. I want it to work as its amazing and I lucky to be on it.

After mum left I laid on my bed an hour, I was so shattered

I got up and did a bit of drawing, ordered a few things online, looked at anime to watch, I made egg mayo for Jack's wraps tomorrow, made biscuits. Yeah I did bits a pieces which is nice. It still doesnt feel that productive with my time but I am still recovering...

we had dinner when he came in and twice I had to go out - whilst eating - to Oz who was savaging my plants....in the end I brought him in as he was clearly hungry and I didnt want to keep having to go out to him. So he came in for kibble and a drink and a quick lay down. I managed to finish my food in peace.

I am gonna go water my garden - I have to do this every night lately T^T - then I will do my work out

tomorrow is school

60th, Easter eggs, return to school

 Evening

How many times did I forget to do this TT^TT

Basically sunday was my dad's 60th Birthday we went over and I cooked the BBQ for the 4 of us (brother went out instead) and mum had baked a cake which was amazing. I took Oz over to play and he did entertain us. He was very busy. and we too were also very busy - making sure he didnt eat mum's plants...

I bought him home and he snored in the lounge. Tired bun X3

Yesterday I dusted and tidied and so everywhere is clean~ Jack did some gardening

his parents came over and bought over a load of easter goodies for us. It was good to finally see them and they told us about their holiday

Our easter holiday was good and needed. Even though at the start of the holiday I had wrote a list of all things I want to do and Jack had crossed 90% of them off I glad he did that. As yes I probably didnt 'achieve' as much as I wanted but I enjoyed what I did do. And didnt end up killing myself

I couldnt sleep last night as I was anxious about school despite the fact I knew it was only 4 hours to get through. I was taking pain killers and up til midnight.

This morning Oz gave Jack the stink eye "what ungodly hour is this!?" face

I didnt feel too bad about going school in the end. Knowing its only 4 hours helps me get through but it is enough. I will probably only earn £550 per month now. Wow, cant live off that!

Jack talked to me about bacteria and I started to have an anxiety attack, he fetched the inhaler from the car.

I went home and had lunch and went bed for 90mins I was so done in!! I felt better once I got up tho. I sat and did some painting for a bit and then I looked for jobs but couldnt really find a lot to be honest. Then I rang my  mum just to tell her my day back went ok.

Jack came home and I let him unwind with tea then we did dinner, after we prepped for stew tomorrow morning. Now I am doing my diary whilst I bloody remember!!

I will do a work out soon then have a bath

Oz is playing outside, hes happy bun. We had him inside before school as I felt I needed to fuss him.

tomorrow is school and also hopefully the nurse will ring me about my inhaler and if I should continue to use it.

I didnt go out last night

 Evening

Kinda forgot to do this yesterday!!

In the morning we did our weekly shop early as sunday shops are close for easter

later morning me, mum, Jack and Oz did some gardening

mum went home and I had lunch with Jack then I rested up for the evening ahead

I was anxious and all day had a fast heart rate

I was by myself all afternoon as Jack gamed for 4 hours with Harvey and Theo

I rang my mum, I was lonely and needed to talk to someone

I told her I didnt really want to go out, I didnt want to socialise I wanted quietness, I didnt have the energy to look happy for people and give them my best energy

she told me not to go. That if I am not feeling it, Jack would only be looking out for me all evening and not enjoy it fully himself and I wouldnt be enjoying it ether so whats the point

I told Jack I wasnt going. He seemed disappointed to be honest. But I need to stop pleasing people and look after myself. 

I took him, Theo and Harvey to Matt and Brandon's house. I drove back it was a round trip of 40mins

I felt better for getting home, locking the doors and getting set up to do painting

I did 90mins of painting. I enjoyed it, put anime on the background I was a  true social recluse!!

I had txted Jack to say doors were locked and Id set him a bed up on the sofa

I texted mum to say I was home, I was fine and going to do some painting

I couldnt sleep. I ached A LOT from gardening. so I ended  up taking extra and falling asleep at midnight. I heard the door go at some point in the night and dropped off to sleep. Knowing if Jack wanted me he would wake me.

This morning I woke my Jack at 8:30am. He said he got in just after 1am. I made him an amazing breakfast. It was a baguette with 2 hash browns, 2 eggs, 6 slices of bacon. I made him fresh coffee and poured him fresh orange juice. I gave him paracetamol too

I revived him

he helped wash my hair then I left for my hair cut at 10:30am

like my massage - my hair cut has gone up by £5. Id love to be able to put my wage up >.>

I went to mum's and I WAS going to dye my hair pink. However I got there today and I had back ache and couldnt be bothered to sit in the chair and have my hair dyed and then have a shower etc.

I helped cut raw meat up, I sat with the girls, and I had my lunch I had taken over

I came home and I have been making a card for mum and a card for Jack

both just to say thank you for all they do and how much I love them

Its good to be appreciated

I dont need to wait for mothers day or valentines day. I will show my love and appreciation whenever the hell I want to. I will give mums to her tomorrow and Jack's I will give to him tonight ^^

That has kept me quiet all afternoon it was nice doing traditional art 

tomorrow 

tomorrow is easter AND my dad's 60th birthday

yup my dad is gonna be an old fart. He already looks 60++

I have put together an alpaca walk with my mum and brother as his birthday present which is in May.

We are going over around 2pm for a BBQ that I may end up cooking. Mum is making cake ^^ in the morning I have bathroom to clean but thats it really. I can probably do some art