Konbanwa~
Last night, it was just shocking
I was so very tired yesterday and the time to climb
into bed wasnt coming round quick enough
but when i finally got into bed i couldnt sleep
had i gone past the stage of being tired? it was like being jet lagged
so i layed there hours on end, just in pain and tired
i almost got up but i refused to give in
so eventually i got 3 hours sleep...woohoo...>.>
mum woke me up at 8am as I had karen's at 9am
i did not want to get up, i felt really annoyed
So I got to Karen's, i decided to have reflex, to boost my energy up
problem with reflex is that you tend to feel rubbish before you feel better for it
she looked at my feet, and she sighed straight away
i said "they look that good do they?"
she said "I can see youve feeling low arent you"
i said yeah, and on a better a day - a day ive slept - i would have talked a bit
about my problems with her, but i wasnt in the mood i couldnt function
and i could i feel that i was sensitive so i didnt want to cry in front of her
came home and had a cup of tea
and put the pets outside which they enjoyed
tiffin was a bit grouchy today tho XD
I photographed my pumpkin
and I also took a halloweeny photo of millie and alice
which i will upload on halloween :D
I fell asleep i was exhausted
then when i woke i decided that i needed to go
for a walk, i couldnt be bothered and mum offered to come
but i told her not to, i wasnt in the mood to talk
so i went and had 30min walk
came home and drew a bit more
and altered photos
i doubt i'll get a dance done tomorrow
ive learned one just about but im just not in the mood right now
but i could be different tomorrow
i can feel my depression gripping me
i hate admitting i have depression, but it is real, and it there
and every so often i fall into it
and i can tell over the last week ive been falling into it
i'll be fine soon i know it
anyway heres my pumpkin plushie
im so proud of it
i cant stop looking at it ^^
Good Evening~
God knows what time I did actually get up today
what with the clocks going back
does my head in sometimes
as some things alter their own time, other dont
others my parents do, others they forget to do
so im like "what is the actual time here!?"
I got ready to go to lynn in the morning
seeing as i had nothing else planned i thought
might as well head over
I went to the local shop on the way to withdraw money
for karen's tomorrow and I brought Lynn some flowers
usually i bake a treat to take over but what with her
being on her new diet i wasnt sure what she was/wasn't eating
i didnt want to tempt her to the dark side XD
I got to hers and her dog Todd was so happy to see me
I played around with him a lot during the day
he has this hilarious toy, just like dogs have squeaker toys
this one was a pig and it's "squeaker" sounded like
a pig snorting so watching todd continuously bitting down
on this pig i was laughing so much, it sounded so realistic!
We went upstairs and did some sewing
i made my pumpkin!!!! yes ^^
I was well happy with it
I will be sure to photograph it tomorrow!
SO cute and its a pumpkin ^^
Lynn was doing her christmas cushions to hopefully sell
Dinner was ready at 3pm
my god it was massive as usual 0.0
it was beef roast and just amazing everything cooked to perfection
i dont know how she does it!!!
i was dying of full-ness but i didnt want to give in!
even tho my head was screaming at me, i was not wasting it
by the end of it all i thought i was gonna explode
and her and husband discussed pudding 0.0 pudding....seriously!?
how the hell do they have room!!? they ate it like it was nothing!
mental, i had to wait over an hour before i had room for a bloody drink
we took the dog on the shortest walk ever
lynn was doing so well i could tell she was finding it difficult
we came back and finished up sewing
and set off at 6pm
so i was over a good 6+ hours
it was nice to finally see em both
im just shattered now ><
so im home now popping bits away
tiffin is with me, but mum has kindly let him out
and the piglets out whilst ive been at lynns
thats always a worry on my mind - have the pets been out?
but something sad happened today
i finished reading the series i was reading ><
kiere hudson series by tim someone or other
i read the 1st season thought id try the 2nd and was hooker
theres 10 books per season
i found out season 3 is out but only the first 6 books
so im gonna wait til theyre all out before i start season 3
but im at a loss now, i dont know what book to read
ive been reading kiera hudson for weeks!
gonna practice halloween dancing for this week~
i hope i can get em done in time!
Evening all
I couldnt sleep last night
and when i did sleep, pain woke me up
my pain has been bad now for a while
but i know if i go to the doctors they wont do anything for me
and i dont fancy being on any more medication
My head has been bad too im at war with my thoughts
I woke up well late 9:30am =.=
i was really annoyed
worst of all i had missed loads in the time i was asleep
mum had put all the pets outside first morning in a long while
as its been too cold and wet for em to play out first thing
so we bring them whilst we have breakfast
so she had done that and put their toys out
then it began to rain, so she cleaned them all out
took them home and put the toys away 0.0
she did all that whilst i was asleep, i hadnt helped at all
so it was quite odd for me to get up and not have to do
any pet duties, it was like they had gone missing
but i still went to see tiffin
we have seen another squirrel in the garden...
smaller one but it is coming on the nuts and running
in the garden and get tiffin on high alert
i dont want to see another dead animal ><
I started cleaning my room, seeing as it was pouring
down outside. and then went on youtube looking for
dances to do. i must have a list of like 100 i want to do ><
Currently Im learning Halloween dances X3 I love it
I did a bit more drawing
getting further with it but it needs to be done for next sunday!
I had lunch, well my family ate their lunch
mum left stuff out for me to do my own
i went to it and my head was really going off on one at me
so i walked away and thought id tackle it when my head calms down
went to make lunch a second time and couldnt make a decision
mum offered to make me something, if someone makes it
i tend to eat it.
so she did me a sandwich all that stress over a freakin sandwich
its not normal and drives me up the wall
i was trying to go for a walk with mia but it would
not stop raining, i was in pain
and thought "sod it" i went to bed for an hour
i didnt want to get up i could have just stayed there but i got up
mia had txt to say she had been for a walk
so i went by myself i did a 45min walk
i was shattered but if it shuts my head up and maybe sleep better
then its worth it, i was a lil wet tho as it rained on me
i brought tiffin in to help me decide on what i was gonna
sew at lynn's tomorrow, i decided to make a pumpkin plushie
i didnt buy that ornament pumpkin yesterday so im gonna make my own
but with all the fabric i have the one colour i seem to lack is orange!!
so i had ALL my fabric out tiffin thought it was great XD
so i packed my bag ready to go to hers tomorrow for sunday lunch ^^
another reason why i didnt want to eat loads today
cus i know id be eating my body weight in sunday lunch!
im gonna dance now, sit with pets then do my nails~
