My wet Prince

Evening~

Today I thought 'the world hates me so sod the world'
i stayed in pajamas til 6pm muhahaha
I was by myself a lot today
i was soooooooo bored
I am feeling a bit better my head isnt quite so poundy 

Mum came back from work as told me about a lady she works
for also has M.E. like me, and shes tried this oxygen tank thing
and worked wonders for her and given her much more energy
Mum passed the leaflet on to me. Looks kinda strange and I already
began to feel nervous about it, mum asked "do you want to give it ago?"
I said "yeah book me in i'll try anything"
5mins later i was booked to go on monday for my first session which is free!

I havent done much today
ive still been on the hunt for shelving
i just cant find anything its ether, too big, too small, too expensive -_____-
didnt think it'd be THAT hard you know?

I was suppose to see mia for a walk tonight
but it has decided to pour down
i was eating dinner at the time, tiffin was outside - he can go home whenever he chooses
but no he chose to sit out in it
so here we have my wet prince, he was rather pleased with himself i might add

i brought him inside to dry off
he was more bothered about his carrot -___-

Tomorrow not sure what im doing yet
probably watching more youtube tutorials - might as well learn something >.>

Drew kitty heart

Evening~

Not happy >3<
Im fed up of feeling crappy im on day 6 of this now
and had a head pain for 6 days running with no relief
its doing my head in - literally 

I woke up this morning at 9am after having a dream that
i was unable to give granny great grand children
random but at least i got to see her in my dreams ^^

Today it has poured down
ive had no desire to go outside in it
me and mum briskly cleaned out the pets
we've had to be inside with them today they havent been able to play out

I tried doing a bit of dancing just to try and improve
my energy levels, or lack of
ive  done some reading and browsed the internet for book shelving
after asking my dad to make me some shelves he said the design i chose wouldnt
be possible for him so to look for some online

I fell asleep to just be unconscious for a while
I drew a picture which i original saw in magazine whilst in the doctor's waiting
room the other day
so here's the one i drew

and heres the one i took a photo of

i like how cute and simple it was :3

I went out after dinner with my parents, they needed wood and i wanted to get out
we went round home stores and hard ware stores so i decided to look for shelves
but found like nothing >.>
just cant find anything good
just from going round 3 stores i was shattered
and admitted defeat to mum that i will not go school this week
she doesnt think i should go, id be making myself worse
and i need to rest up
so i will. i wont go school this week T^T so sad
im praying i pick up tomorrow at least be done with the head pain

Yet more homework!? seriously!?

Good Afternoon~

I had college today :)
I was hoping for a more productive lesson than last time
I handed my homework in, a satisfying feeling
I hope its good enough though.
The lady sat next to me and she said she had wrote 5 pages (her font was bigger than mine too)
and I had wrote 8 pages so im feeling a lil confident 
But my happiness soon faltered when my teacher announced more homework
and it was another lengthy piece T^T why oh why!? I didnt want another big chunk of homework
so soon -____- but i gotta suck it up and get on with it
luckily it is 5 paragraphs less than the last one so I suppose theres one good thing
only 1/3 of the class handed homework in
the others using every excuse in the book
My teacher was ok about it as we realized we dont have another lesson for like a months time!
just the way certain holidays fall and her teacher training. So its giving us longer to do the work
and she says there will be no excuse for us all to have finished both pieces by then.
So yay I get longer to do the work!

After a pointless break we did group activities I worked with 2 ladies i usually work with
1 of them hasnt got children like me we're the only 2 in the class without kids
i laughed a lot with her and she called me first a 'pixie' then a 'cow bag'
at 'cow bag' i burst out laughing i said
"ive never been called a cow bag before!"
she laughed as well, yeah our conversations werent about the work XD
Well my head was killing me i couldnt think straight and we had to sort out paragraphs
of children's milestone developments and i tried but i did let the other 2 in the group
do most of it i just checked to see if it was correct with teacher's answers

Then home time came
i was glad cus i was shattered, i have no idea whats up with me as of late
I got home and had a quick snack, waited for mum to home then i went to bed
i just couldnt keep going.

this afternoon i havent done a lot, i won a top on ebay haha thats something i guess
i drew out a design of some shelving im thinking of dad to make for me...its having
the courage to talk to him and show him my doodle - which wont be good enough

Im quite proud of this week's nails

they were really simple to do but they look difficult
people at college noticed em and liked them ^^
wonder what the kids will say about them on thursday

tomorrow im hoping to get some dancing recorded!!

Natsume came~

Good Afternoon~

I slept pretty bad again last night thanks to my hurty neck

I woke up and felt pretty rough and my neck needed support 

just to get it off the damn pillow -___-

so I went through and told mum she told me

"your not going school then" DX no fair!

At the time I wanted to protest but thought better on it

i just hate letting people down and i stress about doing the hours at school

My parents told me to get to the doctors

since ringing up on a monday morning is a nightmare

so I got there when they opened up and got an appt for 10:10

which turned out to be more like 10:30am theyre always so late

I saw the doctor told him whats what

he quickly checked me over and said i have a inflamed all the muscles in the left of my neck

i looked at him confused thinking 'when the hell did i do that!? 

and wouldnt i have felt it happen?'

I wasnt convinced to be honest as why did i have a bad headache

 and aches and tiredness?

so he gave me some tablets and i was on my way

should clear  up in 2 weeks he said

i hope bloody not, 2 weeks like this sounds like fun

but im not convinced ive inflamed my neck muscles i think he just couldnt be arsed with me

Ether way its not gonna kill me so im gonna go college tomorrow

its only a few hours so im sure i can drag my butt there

I painted my nails last night and im well impressed with them ^^

I havent done a great deal today, just felt off really.

I did go to bed to catch up on sleep

i did feel relieved i hadnt pushed myself through a school day

Natsume stuff came in the post today!!

my 2 manga books - i have already read the first 1 this afternoon X3

and nyanko-sensei keychain

basically there was about 9 keychains for sale all in different positions

all of em had bids on and this one did i felt sorry for the little fella some how

so i put a bid on it and won it for £2 brand new and everything

i love how small his little ears are, so ive put him next to another nyanko-sensei keychain i have

Tomorrow i am going college if it kills me

i didnt do all that coursework to not hand it in on time!!!

Cleaned and sorted out

Evening~

Last night lynn sent me a txt to say she wasnt feeling to good and had been sick

so i wasnt to come over as she didnt want to pass it on to me

in a way i was relieved i didnt have to go over

since thursday ive had a bad headache or head pain

and i thought yesterday it was on the way out

but during the night my neck hurt loads like my pillow was a concrete block or something

When I woke up my head hurt more than yesterday and my neck hurt

like the actual spine bit and the muscle round it is super sensitive to touch

it hurts when i eat and move it around

just what the hell is all this about!?

my parents seem to think my glands have swelled up in my neck

i ache all over too

Im praying im fine tomorrow and not worse cus i wanna school and i have college too

I decided my room needed cleaning

i had meant to do it last weekend but ran outta time ><

So I got to it but took my time. I wanted to rearrange things too

so on the whole it took me a lot longer than usual to clean my room

I swapped figures over in my little box shelves

here we have natsume figure with my 2 nyanko senseis

Then misaka with little chibi characters in the other box shelf

my top shelf has been dominated by mikus XD

next shelf down is all my girl figures apart from misaka but shes a bit smaller

im seeing how these work up here i can always move them

this left my bottom shelf empty D: so I put some plushies on there

if i see anything good in the future i can use this shelf

im thinking of asking my dad to make me a book shelf for my wall

as i took a load of stuff down off my wall today as well

but good to have a shelf for my manga altho i know it wouldnt contain them all

i just like seeing them on display how they should be

I fell asleep as i was exhausted from this illness and lack of sleep last night

i didnt want to get up i hurt too much ><

i sat with tiffin today as my dad was hammering in the garden and tiffin wasnt happy

so he came in my room with me for a bit ^^

apart from that not done a lot else really

Im gonna paint my nails tonight and i got all my stuff ready for school tomorrow

im gonna treat it as a normal day but if i wake up worse my parents

tell me i have to stay off school and go doctors >.>

I got it damn finished!!!!

Otsukaresama deshita~

I got my work all god damn done!!!!!!! YEAH!!!
A good feeling right now~
Taken me hours, just pain staking hours
But my homework is done. All 8 pages
just gotta print it which I shall do later tonight :)
I know 8 pages doesnt sound a lot but believe me it is -__-

Today my headache was with me in the morning but not as bad
its stayed with me all day just not as bad as yesterday luckily
so hopefully it shall be gone tomorrow
I still have bad aches and complaints from yoga tho >.>

Today I mostly did my work at my laptop
went online a bit
Tonight I went on ebay on the hunt for clothes for work
i found a lot and other bits and pieces and i thought "sod it"
so i just put random bids on a lot of stuff and thought
"lets just see what i win" i saw things i liked but didnt NEED thats a hard temptation ><
I hope I win something XD 1 item would be good enough haha

I had my hair cut today
feel much better for it
i can see now!!

Tomorrow i am going to lynns to do some sewing
i havent yet sorted out what sewing i am gonna do yet ^^"
then shes giving me sunday dinner
i shall starve myself til then! she always gives me wayyyy to much!

My brother left me my memory stick on my laptop as i went to bed last night
with a note saying he had developed the old film on the photo he took on my birthday
and scanned it in for me. He says he will give the original print out next week
but it was sweet for him to do for me
its vintagey!

 

Natsume Yuujinchou Happiness~

Evening~

I went to bed with aches from yoga and a killer headache
I woke up in the night i couldnt lift my head off the pillow my head hurt so much
i tried to not panic tho and fall back to sleep
I had a few psychotic dreams but very interesting, 

 basically i used to have someone in my head when my depression started at
age 17/18. causing torment in my dreams and thoughts
it was amazing the powers this person had they could paralyze me in my sleep
make me dream of killing my best friend mia
it was pretty horrific but i kept the details to my self as i didnt wanna look like a nut job.
I dont hear from this person so much anymore, a bit like when a child moves on from
having an invisible friend.
But last night he was there. And wasnt impressed i hadnt 'visited' in a while
he is a guy but can manifest as just about anything and take control of anything
including me. all in my head of course!
he was there and chased me though my strange dream world
he was angry big style. there was no way i could escape. he pinned me down and licked
up the side of my neck - i can feel it - then he said one of my worst nightmares
"maybe i should bring to life one of your nightmares for ignoring me" he was gonna rape me.
I begged him to stop. i said id spend time with him which seemed to placate him 
we went back to i guess its where he lives but i own the place cus its my head after all
jesus what a dump!!! the place which was usually just a very dark black place
was not only dark but eerie too. I searched the place out and he had collected a lot of 
junk - really bizarre junk, so i decided to have a clear out. he wasnt bothered as i was spending time with him. i found some disturbing items tho. i also found 2 dead people. he had literally killed them and left them -they had came back as zombies so i picked up a gun and shot them dead (as you do), and yeah just sorted through weird stuff
then he took me for a walk along the side of dark buildings - which is normal
then we saw something crash land like a huge metal plate thing - it was smoking hot - he wanted to collect it. at the point i decided to leave whilst he was distracted i tried my best to wake up and surprisingly i did. but a part of me didnt want to leave. i have had that disturbing part of me for some years, its not something i think about really but it has been there. 
i hope in a sick way to visit again. but usually he isnt nice to me. this time was the 'nicest' he'd ever been to me. maybe he can sense i am stronger that what i was 6/7 years ago.
My head is random and no one will understand this but me


When I finally got up at 9:10am i was super sensitive with my head
and ended up just curled up on mum's bed with millie and alice X3
I just lazed round as i couldnt do much, i hurt everywhere and my head was gonna explode 

After lunch mum dragged me out the house
we went charity shops, i still need t-shirts for school
but i had no luck and the sounds of life were too loud
we went into one charity shop and i noticed when i went in that they
had manga! I have never known them to have manga before
they were selling for £1 a book!!!! Usually manga is at least £7 per book
So I had a look of course
and what did i find!! Natsume's book of friends!! (natsume yuujin chou)
I could not believe what i was seeing and they were in great condition too
I turned to mum and said "ive been wanting to collect this series but it hasnt 
been a priority what with not having an income and that, i know im gonna regret it
big style if i dont pick these up, theyre a true bargin" so i did

i have volumes 3-14 so 12 volumes for £12!!!!!!! 2 books alone would cost £14
I was super happy. God knows where i'll store em XD
Im gonna look out for volume 1&2 and get reading, theres 19 volumes in total
so i only need 7 more and i have the series!
The strange thing is i only searched for these last week on ebay to see if anyone
was selling their collection off, but had no luck.
it was meant to be, maybe this is the good luck my budda snapping gave me 0.0

We went to a cafe for a tea and cookie well mum had a scone
that was nice, then home and i fell asleep i was mentally and physically exhausted 

I had dinner then i went for a walk with mia and helina
i could have quite easily not have gone but it was my last chance to see helina
before she whisks off to japan on monday for 10 days i hope she has a nice time :)
i hope shes safe more than anything tho.

Now im home and tired
gonna sit with pets and die
i havent been able to record a dance yet T^T