One of the worst experiences of my life

Evening~

I didn't sleep well again -____-
Just keep waking for no apparent reason
very annoying

I went to school today~   i walked for the first time ever
We started the morning off with english and maths
it was nice to be back and the kids had missed me
but my god none of them this morning wanted to work
it was a real effort for them for some reason so motivating them was proving futile
I thought 'jeez is it gonna be like this all day!?' i seriously hoped not

Assembly came and a lady priest came from our local church
she was christian. im an atheist but people's beliefs doesnt bother me - as long as theyre
not hurting anyone or pushing their faith onto others
She was going on about the church and wanting to do an activity with school
she mentioned that peregrine falcons had nested on the church last year
saying that she had dug a nail in her coffin
cus when she asked "anyone have any questions?" I was cringing in my seat when all the 
questions were about the the peregrine falcons and not about god, faith, the church....
It was break so we went in to the staff room, i did some homework. The priest was in the staffroom
too, and no one said a word about the assembly, she was chatting to the head mistress anyway
and it turns out every monday afternoon shes coming in to do faith through art with year 6
great.....
Come lunch time in the staff room - the priest no longer in school
the teachers talked about it no end, i was laughing a lot at what they said XD

After lunch the kids seemed fine and were ready to work thank god
they had made little books (which I did in year 6) and when they completed today
they read them to year 1 (which I also did in year 6) memories~
The towards the end of the day the teacher was talking about Darwin and it bored me to tears
I had a lot of compliments on my outfit and nails today tho~

I left 15mins early as mum was picking me up from school and we were going
straight to the oxygen place~ 
We got there no hassle and i was early to
the people were lovely and you could help your self to drinks, i had a brew and a wee
signed a form or two and had to wait for 2 more people
when they came, a guy called Frank called us through
Now I knew we had to breathe through a mask
I knew I had to be in a pressured chambered
but just what happened i would never imagine

Mum was with me and was offered to be in the tank with me and 2 other woman
i told them she wasnt to come in due to her claustrophobia
So when frank called us up to the tank I sat in and mum sat with me i was like "eh?"
she said "I want to understand what you will be going through"
So frank told us the basics
the tank would be pressurized as if we were flying at 16,000ft
he would not be able to open the tank until it de-pressurized 
we would be in there for 90mins
we had to breathe using the mask but we could take it off at any point to breathe 'normally'
we were to knock on the tank if we needed help there was a window to do hand signs - thumbs up for 'im ok' palm to say 'stop pressurizing a moment and thumbs down to say 'stop ive had enough'
So I got all strapped up, i was taking it in my stride heck i was nervous, i had never breathed using a mask before. i hadnt been pressurized before well not since an airplane when i was 10 years old.

Mum left the tank I had my manga book, i got the hang of breathing through a mask - i didnt enjoy it tho to be honest. And I was good to go. We got told our ears my hurt like they do when your on an airplane. fair enough. my ears used to hurt on the plane but soon adjusted.
Frank shut the door. I was with two woman and masks. All was fine until the pressurizing began
My ears started to hurt so I did what I could to relieve them but it wouldnt go away
steadily they got worse and worse..I looked at the 2 woman and they were fine? How?
why was i suffering. I read signs on the inside of the tank saying "dont suffer in silence" "tell us if you have a problem, if you dont say we dont know"
I tried to endure the pain - i have a high pain threshold 
i kept telling myself "it will go, you will adjust" but it wasnt. the pain grew and grew
i questioned myself "can ears bleed?" then the pressure went to my head, my sinuses.
it got to bad that i started to feel faint i tried to get the woman to tell frank to stop
i couldnt take my hands off my ears as it was too painful
she got franks attention i was doing the who thumbs down as much as i could

He stopped the pressurizing but i was in agony  
simply I WANTED OUT
He did a mime of holding your nose
i couldnt do it cus i couldnt let go of my ears i just wanted to get out
i was in so much pain, i cant remember the last time i felt so much pain
i think it would have been a more pleasant experience having my ears removed
apparently mum had looked through the glass window and said to him "shes in pain shes upset"
so eventually he asked "do you wanna come out?"
YES FREAKIN' YES THAT'S WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU MAN!!!!2
Now I had the task of waiting for the pressure to stabilize so I could get out
i felt faint from the amount of pain, i had tears down my eyes i was hot and felt like i was gonna be sick. i was soooooo grateful mum had gone with me and waited as well
i was in there 20mins no way on earth could i have survived 90mins

when i came out i told mum i needed to go out for fresh air i was hot and fainty
i had had the life sucked out of me i was shattered and distressed
the woman asked me "do you suffer with your sinuses?"
I replied "i do actually, and even more so during hayfever season"
she said "if i had known that i wouldnt have let you have gone in there as it can hurt"
well thanks for telling me now love. bit late after i put myself through that

we left, i came home, showered, sweet cup of tea and just dyed

I can not wait for bedtime

Mum would like me to return to the place
she sees it as too good to miss up
but only after i address my sinus problems - god knows what that involves
i have never experienced pain so horrific in my life

Started next chunk of coursework

Good Day~

Thought i'd do my blog a lil earlier today

I had unusual dreams last night of being a monster
I had a human form and a beast form and people were trying to catch me
it was fun and scary XD

I ate breakfast outside this morning it was refreshing~
This morning I went online for a lil while
then I bathed the pigs cus my god were they in need of a bath
I dont wanna think of what colour the water went after pinks had had her bath -__-
But theyve all dried in the lovely weather we're having today and theyre
so soft and fluffy and smell better ^^

I went for a walk as well this morning by myself
I havent been for a walk in forever so it felt good
When I got back I started my coursework
I managed to get 3 pages done :) Still got another 6 sections to do
I've done 3 so far >< I will take it to school tomorrow and do more on my breaks

I got my stuff ready for tomorrow as I am going school
I will drag my corpse there damn it!!!
Ive made my lunch up made it up from left overs of tonight's dinner X3
I love leftovers!!!
Then straight after school Im going to this oxygen place. Mum is coming with me
for my first time thank god as i dont know what to expect
they said bring a form of entertainment im gonna take my 3DS and kindle.

wish me luck im a bit anxious about tomorrow
anxious about if im well enough for school
and anxious about oxygen place
here's my bunny t-shirt I got in the post this week gonna wear it for school~

 

Peach Sei Fuku!

Otsukaresama deshita~

I didn't sleep well T^T
I kept waking up on my back again
but also there was a party going off til all hours on the street behind us
so I kept waking up to that. I had a paralyzing dream also >.>
I woke up feeling shattered

I got started with my sailor t-shirt from yesterday
all I needed to do was sew the chiffon on and the collar
took me a lil longer than I thought but I wasnt doing much else
so here it is~

I am pleased with, Im gonna wear it for school for sure
mum said its very neat ^^
Since this photo I have added a little white lace so its not quite as low cut
I dont do low cut tops, i knew id be forever checking if my bra is showing
that and my chest has so many scars on it I cant be doing with people looking and asking about them.

I have an idea what Id like to make next
I found a tutorial on how to make a llama sock plush
and seeing as its father's day next month I think Im gonna make dad one.

Ive been with the pets today as its rained
and also dad was drilling and everything else outside making a lot of noise
so we brought the pets all in
Tiffin was in my room and Alice and Millie was on my bed
I put my pajamas over them to make them feel safe
and they just got comfy and dozed off I think

Happy Piglets, I could not resist a photo X3

Im still feeling a bit crummy but Im determined to drag myself
to school on monday even if it kills me!!!!
I hope to start my homework tomorrow~

I won a jacket today
its a bear one or something. only £4 anyways
I need a different one as my fox one is looking a bit tired now
I found some old shelving i like too~

Started peach sailor top

Good Evening~

I didnt sleep well, kept waking up on my back -___- 
When I awoke my head killed
I groaned and went to turn round and go back to sleep despite being 9am
but 10seconds after I woke up mum came in
so extra time in bed went. Good job really otherwise it would be late when I got up
and I hate wasting the morning~

I slowly got ready
I was gonna go chiropractic clinic with mum then from their go
to a few shops. So I was in the waiting room whilst mum went for a good snapping
I played on 3DS which I havent done in a good week. I enjoyed myself
and there was tea and biscuits available for free!
So I made myself an earl grey brew and had a biscuit
I was well happy haha mum's half hour treatment went well quick XD
Then we went shops
I checked a few charity shops out but no good pickings
then I went boyes to pick up some ribbon for my top I wanna alter

When I got back mum went out with dad to go fetch their new car 
its a nice blue colour. Whilst they were out my top I wanted to alter came in the post
it wasnt in a great shape so I just put it straight in the washer for 15mins
when it came out it had loads of muck of on it. Muck from the filter
that muck only got there from dad's work clothes >.> damn him
so I told him when he got home and he cleaned the filter
I had to try scrub the stains out and put it in the washer again ><
But it came out clean finally
I measured up and started making the sailor collar for it
Im added a chiffon frill to the bottom of the top too as its a lil short >.>
Here's how far I got today anyway-going for a peach theme~

Ive ordered a sailor bow for the front of it but god knows when
it will actually arrive. I want to continue with it tomorrow anyways.
It was nice having something to do actually.

I sat with alice and millie on my lap in my bedroom today
tiffin came up to us but alice saw him off she can be very offensive when she wants to be
tiffin ran off. wuss.

I uploaded a dance today
one that wasnt too much of a strain on my body to do. I miss doing faster paced ones tho

I have still been on the hunt for shelving
The one I did find, i really liked it. But at £50 it was just a lil too much for me to pay
So I found another which is 3 grey crates thats as far as I have got
my parents have been too busy to ask 'what do you think?'

Tomorrow is the weekend
Im hoping to be fully recovered for monday
Im gonna continue sewing and hopefully buy a shelf!

As for stuff I put £2.60 on stuff on ebay
I won 3 things but 1 I got refunded for so Ive only got 2 so far
the rest comes off tonight~

My wet Prince

Evening~

Today I thought 'the world hates me so sod the world'
i stayed in pajamas til 6pm muhahaha
I was by myself a lot today
i was soooooooo bored
I am feeling a bit better my head isnt quite so poundy 

Mum came back from work as told me about a lady she works
for also has M.E. like me, and shes tried this oxygen tank thing
and worked wonders for her and given her much more energy
Mum passed the leaflet on to me. Looks kinda strange and I already
began to feel nervous about it, mum asked "do you want to give it ago?"
I said "yeah book me in i'll try anything"
5mins later i was booked to go on monday for my first session which is free!

I havent done much today
ive still been on the hunt for shelving
i just cant find anything its ether, too big, too small, too expensive -_____-
didnt think it'd be THAT hard you know?

I was suppose to see mia for a walk tonight
but it has decided to pour down
i was eating dinner at the time, tiffin was outside - he can go home whenever he chooses
but no he chose to sit out in it
so here we have my wet prince, he was rather pleased with himself i might add

i brought him inside to dry off
he was more bothered about his carrot -___-

Tomorrow not sure what im doing yet
probably watching more youtube tutorials - might as well learn something >.>

Drew kitty heart

Evening~

Not happy >3<
Im fed up of feeling crappy im on day 6 of this now
and had a head pain for 6 days running with no relief
its doing my head in - literally 

I woke up this morning at 9am after having a dream that
i was unable to give granny great grand children
random but at least i got to see her in my dreams ^^

Today it has poured down
ive had no desire to go outside in it
me and mum briskly cleaned out the pets
we've had to be inside with them today they havent been able to play out

I tried doing a bit of dancing just to try and improve
my energy levels, or lack of
ive  done some reading and browsed the internet for book shelving
after asking my dad to make me some shelves he said the design i chose wouldnt
be possible for him so to look for some online

I fell asleep to just be unconscious for a while
I drew a picture which i original saw in magazine whilst in the doctor's waiting
room the other day
so here's the one i drew

and heres the one i took a photo of

i like how cute and simple it was :3

I went out after dinner with my parents, they needed wood and i wanted to get out
we went round home stores and hard ware stores so i decided to look for shelves
but found like nothing >.>
just cant find anything good
just from going round 3 stores i was shattered
and admitted defeat to mum that i will not go school this week
she doesnt think i should go, id be making myself worse
and i need to rest up
so i will. i wont go school this week T^T so sad
im praying i pick up tomorrow at least be done with the head pain

Yet more homework!? seriously!?

Good Afternoon~

I had college today :)
I was hoping for a more productive lesson than last time
I handed my homework in, a satisfying feeling
I hope its good enough though.
The lady sat next to me and she said she had wrote 5 pages (her font was bigger than mine too)
and I had wrote 8 pages so im feeling a lil confident 
But my happiness soon faltered when my teacher announced more homework
and it was another lengthy piece T^T why oh why!? I didnt want another big chunk of homework
so soon -____- but i gotta suck it up and get on with it
luckily it is 5 paragraphs less than the last one so I suppose theres one good thing
only 1/3 of the class handed homework in
the others using every excuse in the book
My teacher was ok about it as we realized we dont have another lesson for like a months time!
just the way certain holidays fall and her teacher training. So its giving us longer to do the work
and she says there will be no excuse for us all to have finished both pieces by then.
So yay I get longer to do the work!

After a pointless break we did group activities I worked with 2 ladies i usually work with
1 of them hasnt got children like me we're the only 2 in the class without kids
i laughed a lot with her and she called me first a 'pixie' then a 'cow bag'
at 'cow bag' i burst out laughing i said
"ive never been called a cow bag before!"
she laughed as well, yeah our conversations werent about the work XD
Well my head was killing me i couldnt think straight and we had to sort out paragraphs
of children's milestone developments and i tried but i did let the other 2 in the group
do most of it i just checked to see if it was correct with teacher's answers

Then home time came
i was glad cus i was shattered, i have no idea whats up with me as of late
I got home and had a quick snack, waited for mum to home then i went to bed
i just couldnt keep going.

this afternoon i havent done a lot, i won a top on ebay haha thats something i guess
i drew out a design of some shelving im thinking of dad to make for me...its having
the courage to talk to him and show him my doodle - which wont be good enough

Im quite proud of this week's nails

they were really simple to do but they look difficult
people at college noticed em and liked them ^^
wonder what the kids will say about them on thursday

tomorrow im hoping to get some dancing recorded!!