Stupid needles >.>

Evening~~~

I didn't wanna wake up this morning ><
but I got up~
Mum had kindly cleaned the girls out ><

I got ready to go to the shops with her
we were gonna go yesterday but couldnt be arsed
so we popped to a few stores doing odd jobs you know
then we went boots and pets at home
boots were advertising the flu jab and we had just literally talked in the car
on the way there about it! So mum asked if there was any chance of getting it done
today. Shes been having it done for the last few years - she fears the flu
i have never had it. Mum always say I should get it what with my current health state
and this winter i do have a lot on, course finishing and i need to find a job
i dont really wanna get sick with the flu
so i agreed to have it >.>
we waited for a few mins then got called in
my anxiety was through the roof
im better at having injections than blood taking
when i was at school we had injections and i wasnt phased in the slightest
but now it seems i struggle with them...
mum went first and she was fine
i was good i got on with it
it was afterwards...
i felt like i was gonna hurl and i had to sit down for some time
i was dizzy and fainty everytime i got up my eyes ached and blurred
which is how i know im one step from passing out
and not wanting to make a scene i walked out of boots every 5 steps bending over
to allow the blood back to my head to stop from passing out
got to the car and just sat there with the door open 
i was so weak and dizzy mum left me to go get bits from pets at home
we went home mum made me a brew - 2 sugars were needed

i had lunch then i went to sleep
it made me feel quite unwell
im such a total wimp
mum is fine just her arm aches
im so pathetic it winds me up big time
but since then i did get my coursework finished got it all done today ^^

well it was pouring down and thundering so i could hardly do my walk 
so im gonna do it tomorrow
it did stop raining at one point and produced a double rainbow

which i thought was quite pretty :)
you can see my 2 guinea pig runs in the garden
this is the kingdom tiffin rules over XD

tomorrow i hope to start cutting out my jacket seeing as i have nothing
else to be doing ^^

New watch!

Good Evening~~

I had a good lay in
I woke up at 7am and thought "sod this" and went back to sleep
waking up at 8:45am ^^

I had a slow morning of dossing around with my brother
then me and mum got ready for swimming
we both did 20 lengths
i was happy i had managed my 20
i think the week off did me good as it didnt feel like a massive chore how it usually does
but god it wiped me out

I got back and had some porridge for lunch
cus i was too knackered to make anything else >.>

I have 2 mats in my bedroom
heart one to cover a patch of carpet a burned lightly with the iron by mistake
and the other i made myself, my ragrug which took 80 hours!
I dont like the heart one anymore it irritates me and im sick of seeing it
my rag rug has been ruined by tiffin so i think ive got to part with it sadly :(
hes a royal pain my prince is at times
so i found a rug online i liked and i showed it mum to see what she thought
i like 2nd opinions~
I ordered it for £17 which is very cheap for a rug, i know its not gonna be amazing
quality but its just to hide a bit of carpet
im not replacing the rag rug cus i think tiffin will only wee again on it >.>
so i ordered a cardaptors magic circle rug and i cant wait til it arrives!!!

but something did arrive today.....

my new watch!!! im glad its come ok and i will wear it for school next week~
it has little pictures behind the muse symbol which i thought was cool

i went to chuck the packaging out when something dropped out

it was a card, cards i collect and put on my wardrobe
i have never had this before so i well happy
and what was even more amazing is it has Stitch on ot - my all time favourite disney character!!
so i added it to the collection of course~

I started planning out my coat
i finished the planning
i made a templated
tested and stitched it out of cruddy material to see if it works
and it does
so yay yay

tomorrow im going to a few shops with mum
coursework
and hopefully jacket making~

I started display 2

Good Evening

and exhale~~~~~
my week is over ^^
tomorrow is my day off although i do plan to go swimming
yoga wasnt on tonight sadly so me and mum went for a walk instead
i just have to walk again this week and ive achieved my 5 times a week walk!
that will be week 1 complete~

This morning I got up for school
I had a morning where nothing was going right for example i dont know how many
layers of eye shadow i put on! i couldnt get it right and kept changing designs -____-
mum said i looked fine tho

at school i was in year 3
year 6 were still away on their 5 day trip
year 5 went on a trip til the afternoon
year 4 were away on their 3 day trip
so we were the only ones in key stage 2!!!
dead quiet and nice ^^

I helped em out with english and maths
i really enjoyed my day i just love my job so much
they went into the hall to practice a presentation or something
they returned in like 10 mins i thought "jeez that was quick!"
each student from the class passed me saying the same thing
".....got stung by a wasp!"
yeah one kid got stung by a wasp
apparently a few wasps had made their way in the hall
so the teacher took em away back to the classroom
where the next 10 minutes she ended up answering bee and wasp related questions XD
i was trying to keep a straight face

in the afternoon i got the piggies out for the dutch girls as they
have never held a guinea pig before!
i went to class, they were getting ready for p.e. - perfect as i could do my display finally!!
the kids were getting shoes on and this guy who is a supply TA - who never even made eye contact with me the whole day, never spoke to me or even introduced himself to me turned to a girl tying a boy's laces
"why are you tying his laces?"
girl "im just helping"
turns to the boy "why is she tying your laces?"
boy "because i cant tie them yet"
"you cant tie them yet!?"
i was about to through a book at this guy's face
hes rude to the kids and saying that to a seven year old really peed me off
he'll get there one day and shes just helping what the hell is his problem!!
i had to walk off before i chewed his face off, you dont do that to children
he sucks at his job thats all i can say

display time~~
ahhhhhh i had such a lovely time
i had 2 year 4s with me who didnt go on the trip and they're really sweet
so i had them to talk to whilst i was painting, gluing, stapling, laminating
and i got it done, well its kinda done, i cant go any further til the kids have done work
for me to put up but so far the comments i got were really good ^^
the teacher - who is creative and ex-TA - liked it (i had that extra pressure)

i got home
had a brew
went for a walk
shower
played pokemon
then cleaned tiffin out
then just been on laptop

tomorrow is another day and it's one i get to choose what to do
tho i do have course work >.>

Did the WRAP training thing

Konbanwa~~

I got up at 8am this morning
I had a nightmare last night soaking my bed making it damp to sleep on -___-
so I was a lil tired this morning ><
But I got ready for this Wrap training I had volunteered myself for

I arrived there dead on the dot they were just starting ><
there was about 15 others there and I was by far the youngest
always the youngest....
anyway it was a 2 hour presentation about children and young people being radicalized 
and who is vulnerable and how to to help and reach out 
it was dull but and eye opener i guess
i cant say i know an awful lot about terrorism so i did learn a lot
still i got a certificate for doing it and looks good on my CV
no one else there was a training TA haha everyone was like dept head and other
important school roles...yeah im not totally sure how i got on that training XD

I came home and had left over pasta from last night for lunch~
then I had an hour's kip
got up and went for a walk with mum
had a brew and played pokemon
did some drawing
so i havent done a great deal but i wasnt in the mood to do loads
i just wanted to tune out really

tomorrow i am at school
and i should be in year 3 once again
god i hope theyre better behaved today
my head cant take that level of noise alllll day
and i hope i can do my display, i planning on getting there earlier so i can
start painting the wall before children come in
so and early start for me ><
my nails for this week~

 

Chokers

Good evening~~

I couldnt wake up this morning
mum woke me at 7:15am I told her "no not yet"
so she woke me up at 7:40am instead - i still had enough time~

I went to college 
couldnt find the classroom as it changes week to week -____-
but ive been told where it is next week thank god saves me walking round aimlessly
we got a few more units done and she set us some to do at home which i need to do
people in class once again shared stories about their schools
i left at 12pm, i was gonna wait to hand some work in to my teacher
but everyone wanted her and i couldnt be arsed to wait it out anymore
i'll give it to her next time
she did bump into me in the corridor on break time and asked how my depression is
she is a good teacher :) 

i got home and had some hot food i wanna say porridge but i cant spell it
then i went to bed for an hour 
got up and went for a power walk with mum
then came home, had a brew and played pokemon silver~

tomorrow i dont get a lay in again T^T
i have this training ive opted for dont know what it will be like
it's totally free and im praying im not the only one going
cus my plan is to sit at the back of the room and doodle in my note pad
its called
Mop-up WRAP TRAINING - Prevent and the Role of Designated Safeguarding Leads in Schools
god knows what it will be like! I just thought it would look good on my CV

then i have the day free
i have things to do but im hoping i have the energy and motivation to do em!
these came in the post today
my 99p chokers i ordered~

 

In year 3

Otsukaresama Deshita~~

I got up at 7:15am -__- could have done with more sleep
sleeeeepppppp
but I had school~

My morning began with seeing year 6 in non-uniform which I always
like to see, i think you can see someone's personality more through what they wear.
Many parents were there to see their child off
they were going for 4 nights = 5 days
some of the suitcases were huge!!! Im not exaggerating ether
they were massive, Nienka was like "I didnt bring that much stuff with me to come the england for 3 months!!" I said "I didnt take that much when I went on that trip thats for sure!"
mental
anyone would think they were traveling to 3rd world country or something!

so now it was 10:30am
I was class-less and my mentor forgot to allocate me a class.....
I've only been here what 10 months? and ive been forgotten -____-
personally i wanted year 4 but I got got year 3 *cringe*
was not a class i wanted to be in really but its experience i guess

so at first i helped with their english
then i got told i could do some display work and i was able to let loose with it all
making a volcano and maybe some waves later too
for their natural disasters topic so i was able to escape the classroom for a lil while
but i couldnt go any further with it as i needed to attach it to the wall and paint the wall too
and i couldnt with children right there :/ not that young anyway theyd probably walk into the paint!

at lunch at sat with the dutch girls - who i now have on facebook ^^ (not that i use it but i have a means of contacting them now)
we had a right laugh at lunch time it was good, im so gonna miss them
think they go 9th december or something :(

i wore my pikachu hair scrunchie today and my pokeball necklace
god i had so many comments from students and so many talks
about pokemon it was good fun ^^ i think they love the fact
im an adult but can talk about pokemon~ cus im awesome like that i guess XD

so i helped out in lesson to which we did a lil more english then art
art....yeah the whole day they were fussy and noisy to the point were it was wearing on
my patience. like they could not sit and listen.
art they were painting waves in fact its 'the great wave' by Hokusai
the teacher didnt know the name of the artist so i was like "oh is that the one by Hokusai?"
i said it in front the of the class she was like "I errr dunno really actually" yay i was smart!

basically i was dispensing the paint and also mixing colours for them to use
all paint was put on a paper plate not a plastic pallet as the class isnt good at washing up
so why was it i saw children trying to WASH PAPER plates!?
i had to tell every table
"the plates go straight in the bin!!!! dont wash them!!!"
it wasnt because they wanted to clean up, oh no, it was because they wanted to make
a huge painty mess
honestly some were smearing hands into it and it was just ciaos
in fact two TAs came round the corner and yelled at them for the silly noisy mess they were making

my head was pounding at the end of the day truly
i had had enough and wanted the quietness of home
it had rained most of the day so my bike was wet i had to stand up and ride all the way home
and my legs still hurt from cycling on saturday ><

came back and let tiffs in to stretch his legs
then me and mum went for a power walk for 40mins
apparently power walking 30 mins 5 times a week is good
for depression and can make you lose weight
so its a win win situation
im gonna do this!!!

tomorrow i have college T^T 

Tiffin's 2nd Birthday!

Tadaima~~~

Im here~

I am exhausted big style
life is hard currently but i guess i did have a good time

Friday I got ready with Tiffin, the idea to give him as much attention
as i could before I had to leave
then I went to pick ed up from the station at 12
from there we headed to worksop

we got there ok, held up a little as there was an accident along the way
the place we stayed at was basically an old pub
but the people were friendly and the service was good and the room was nice
it was bright, clean, open and tidy so couldnt ask for anymore really

We dumped our stuff then went into worksop town center which
was about a 3 min walk from us
so we checked some stores out there was a market on and loads of charity shops!
All i got tho was a few buttons and ribbon from the market as it was dead cheap

we walked back to the room and got changed for dinner, we walked along side a canal
which did a kinda loop round worksop center so we ended up near the shops
from there we walked to a thai restaurant 

ed as usual orders loads of food -______- i cant keep up with him
there was food left over - my fault apparently for not eating as much as him -__-
i was sooooo full food was amazing tho

Next day we got up for breakfast as it was only served til 10am
and we woke up at 8:30am
I had a quick shower then we went for breakfast ed ordered us both a full english ><
not my thing but there was cereal on the side so i had more cereal than the breakfast
he ate mine really XD 
then we went upstairs to get ready, well i got ready, i sent ed out to go get us a sandwich
to take with us for lunch XD so i could get ready in peace, save time, and save me energy

from there we headed to Clumber park - a national trust park
i have been there on a school trip in year 9 
we went to go rent a bike we wanted - well mostly me - a tandem bike (double bike)
i thought it would save me energy as i was quite anxious about it all
its a big place!
you could rent bikes for 2 hours or all day
we went for 2 hours, they gave us a rent slip for a tandem but it turns out there
wasnt any tandem D: so we had to go on normal bikes but they said we could
have a free hour on a tandem after our 2 hour bike ride  so i guess that was good
ed noticed i had gone quiet and it was cus i was anxious

but we headed off and we kept going and going and going and going
had the odd stop off and i knew ed could keep going and go even faster if he wanted to
but he stayed with me the entire way which was good of him
my god tho i had had enough i just wanted to die in peace
we used up the whole 2 hours, 2 hours of cycling!!!!!!
we got back to the bike rent and i wanted to sit down before i went on the tandem
but noooooooo we had to go there and then didnt we >3>

going on a tandem was one of the most scariest things ive done in my whole life
im glad ive done it but my god its terrifying
being the back passenger gives you no control just a bar and pedals the pedals
are connected to the front so you have to pedal 
i held on to everything i think at first, the handle, ed's massive rucksack (couldnt see in front of me it was so bloody big!) and ed himself
i was telling him to slow down
going down dirt track hills with stones with not being able to see the ground of have any control is terrifying he kept saying "relax. relax. im not gonna let you fall"
to which i say "accidents do happen! now slow down damn it!!"
over the whole of cycling my  tights got torn and ripped >< from thorns and such snagging me

we gave the bike back, i was exhausted
we ate our sandwiches then went and had a brew in the cafe
we headed home eventually
as soon as i saw the bed i collapsed i knew i would fall asleep given the chance and i did!
and it turns out ed also fell asleep with me!
i woke up at 7:30pm!!!! D: we still had to go out to dinner
i was feeling dizzy and tired. my body was really at its limits

we went to a pub for food it was alright
it was hard to find somewhere to eat as everywhere on a saturday night
was loud or had football on
we still ended up with football in the background -___-
i had sweet potato, chick pea burger - i love veggie burgers for some reason
but my god the spice!!!! it was like eating a chili! My mouth was on fire
i drank my drink and ed's as i couldnt put the fire out i even felt my tongue to see
if it was as hot as it felt XD

we headed to the room but it was loud as there was a 60th birthday party happening just
under neath us so they had loud music and karaoke
i went to go use the bath that was available to guests to rest
my muscles as i ached like mad
the noise downstairs didnt end til 12pm
yeah i was close to passing out at this point
i did rob ed's t-shirt he wore during the day and slept in it, he didnt notice til morning XD

this morning we woke up at 9:15am so we didnt have long to have breakfast
so i got up, changed, brushed my hair and went down
i ordered beans on toast for myself this time
then we went upstairs i did a lil make up and hair
then we checked out, on the way home i took us to Rufford park
which was nice, we walked round the lake whilst ed played Pokemon Go
he played it a fair bit but i still couldnt get my head round it all
we stopped at the cafe as they had ice cream - real ice cream
i had white chocolate flavour it was really nice
and we got 2 scoops for the price of one as they charged us too little!

then i came home for a little bit
then took ed to the station at 3pm
i have school in the morning so i needed time to rest and stuff
i felt bad getting rid of him but he just doesnt get  my illness and my needs
so thats it im not gonna see him now i dont think
it was sad to see him go

ive been fussing my little bunny today as he's 2 years old today!!!
my little prince!
I havent had chance to make a cake but i will do this week or mum will
hes lovely and i cant imagine life without him
i hope he has more birthdays to come!

school tomorrow!
i will be in a different class but which one?