Thursday, 12 January 2017

Got a diary

Hello one and all

I woke up in the night
i did not feel good
i felt drunk
i staggered to the toilet, heavy footed, leaning against walls
i couldnt walk straight
i felt off my head, the world spun but i hadnt been drinking or anything
not sure what it was all about really but i didnt feel much pain at all whilst being
in that state so it quite nice
i climbed back in bed and fell asleep instantly
strange~

Today my little prince seems to be doing well :3
Im keeping a close eye on him
he seems to like his usual self

the agency rang and hes got me more work at my old primary school once again X3
another one rang about some teaching assistant work but never got back to me
i dont want to do the dinner lady work anymore
so i will call tomorrow and tell them that i will quit due to it making my illnesses worse
cus of how cold i got yesterday today i hurt major time. my joints felt inflamed
and for £10 its not worth the pain

today at the school
they put me inside XD  i had wrapped up MEGA warm
and it turns out it wasnt needed!
i was inside spreading cheese on crackers for the young children who couldnt do it
i was wiping tables and stacking chairs
its all very mundane and not very rewarding 

i came home and mum had done me soup ready~
which was lovely of her
after lunch i wanted to go and get a pocket diary
simply to write down all my agency jobs cus im not gonna remember soon!
I got a diary for £1, it has peter rabbit on the front :3
I also managed to find some coloured pens i wanted for  doing my japanese with ^^

came home and fell asleep exhausted
needed energy for tonights yoga

yoga we got to the room
this is the first yoga lesson for me and mum this year
and a different lady was there 0.0
she was covering for karen as karen had to whisk off to her child's school
but she was very good and did a very relaxing session~

now im just with prince
gonna sit with him and a hot chocolate ^^


tomorrow i am the school doing dinner lady work once again 
here are my nails for this week~
 

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

I was a dinner lady!

Good Evening

My Tiffin is doing loads better :D
He's eating a lot by himself which is excellent and he's doing poos as well
he seems more himself as he's outside a lot and eating the grass he's guarding his girls
and last night he sat on my lap for the first time in a week
I love him so much
and im so glad he managed to pull through whatever made him poorly
he's just got to finish his medication today
little prince~
so today i made the vets a thank you card :3
he wouldnt be here without them

I took sleeping tablets last night and asked not to be woken up
i slept til 8:15am and i felt much better
it was the first time in a good week since id had a proper sleep
i was losing sleep over tiffin

I got up but where as i usually have breakfast, i chose to wait til 9am
as i wouldnt be eating til almost 2pm
so i cleaned tiffin out, made his cage tidy
he played outside and ate some grass which is lovely to see :)

This morning I was on my laptop, reading - reading an amazing book currently!
and then at 11:30 i set off for the school
i was early but i was hoping some one would show me the ropes if i was early
but no one was really forth coming with information i had to ask for it

the school was lovely i was highly impressed
one the best schools ive ever been to actually
there was 400 children! so there was quite a few dinner time staff
they were all so nice to me despite me being an outsider and a lot younger than them
the kids were good too
so it went all fine
the only draw back
IT WAS BLOODY FREEZING!!!
Honest to god i was cold
i had wrapped up warm but not warm enough it would seem
so tomorrow im wearing woolly socks as today
when i got home it took me 45mins to be able to feel my toes 0.0
i was so cold. 
mum had made me lunch ^^

then i went to bed
i just wanted to be warm and get my circulation going once again
i woke up at 4:30 XD 
must have needed the sleep im guessing
then ive just been on my laptop, sorting birthday presents out, been with tiffin

next do a bit of dance practice and yoga~
tomorrow im at the school again being a dinner lady :)

here are helina's tea towels i brought for her house warming present
theyre only plain and i stitched a cat face on one and the 
character for Neko (cat) on the other :3

 

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Another day working hard as a TA

Konbanwa

Tired ><
I got up at 6:45am once again for school
I got tiffin out and it seems he has managed some pellets!!
I put some guinea pig pellets in his bowl cus he likes them sometimes XD
im so glad hes eaten some pellets though as he hasnt touched them in a whole week!
shows he is able to eat hard food just fine
bless him i was relieved
he had managed other pieces of food in his hutch also!

School was hectic
i had 6 students to read to
I had a group doing some maths with them
I watched 16 children playing in the court yard
yeah i had some responsibilities today!
But it feels good to be trusted like that
and everything went just fine too :D
so many students gave me hugs
and a year 3 gave me a little key chain ><
jozu is loved and i am grateful to them all

at lunch time i was lining the children up for school lunch
i noticed today's pudding they were serving.....butterscotch tart!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh freakin' hell that was my favourite when i was there!
to see it again made my eyes almost sparkle! i was so happy to see it still going!
and the cook (who was the same i cook i had back in the day) she gave me a piece *0*
I was sooooooo happy
and ahhhhh it tasted of memories~
good lunch time for sure~

during lunch time~
i was talking to tom (student teacher and 22 years old)
i was talking to him about this boy who as of this week got in contact with me on facebook
i told tom the guy wants to meet up, hes single and on about bringing a friend who was in my form
tom said to me "yeah theres only one thing hes interested in"
i said "what?"
tom "well you"
eep >< i hadnt thought of that!!!!
tom was like "seriously!? how can you be that naive!?"
i was just worried about it being awkward now i know for sure its gonna be awkward
but i dont want chicken out as the guy was lovely to me in school
basically we shared DT (design technology graphics) for 2 years and i was the ONLY girl in the whole class! but he stuck with me and kept me company and helped me. he didnt have to at all
and we became friends :)

during the end of lunch i did some display work
beats sitting round doing nothing~
the afternoon was pretty simple
at the end of the day i stayed til 4pm i cleaned up and stuff
tom saw me out as i wont see him til february 1st now
he was like "enjoy your date" i could have kicked his face in XD

got home and i was tired
but happy when i saw tiffin playing outside ^^
sorted some fabric out in case i manage to do some sewing tomorrow~

tomorrow im gonna have ago being a dinner lady!!!
well excited ^^
here's a couple of things i made for new years party
a black choker and a hair clip~

 

Monday, 9 January 2017

My First Paid Day of Working as a Teaching Assistant!~

I am shattered!!!

Not only did I not sleep well I got up at 6:45am ><
I had such a mad rush this morning but I managed to give tiffin all he needed
he has more of his personality back i can tell
as he fighting treatment and just being defiant 
so someone is feeling better!!!
But he still isnt eating his food but he did managed to eat other things

I got to school at 8:20am
10 mins early for work ^^
the teacher i work with is lovely
and so many children gave me hugs and were dead happy i was back X3
Jozu is loved by many X3

I didnt get a break as it was wet break so we had to watch the children indoors
at lunch I left to go home and feed tiffin he was very hard work
i quickly ate my lunch and then went to school

the rest of lunch time i went and did some display work
then that lesson i worked on the display
the afternoon wasnt too bad
we didnt get a break tho so i have worked solidly today

i had vets at 4:30pm usually when i was student at the school i went home at 3:30pm
same time as the children but now im paid staff i had to stay til 4pm...
so I stayed helping out then I left very promptly as I had to rush home and get tiffin sorted
and get to the vets! i felt a bit rude the way I suddenly left but I explained to some people that I had the vets to go to. hope they dont think me rude >< I will go in fresh tomorrow with a smile~

tiffin at the vet
he was very stubborn in fact he embarrassed me really
as the vet tried to examine him and tiffin was having none it
in the end the vet gave him a injection that will stimulate his tummy
he looked so peed off honestly
so when i see him like that it makes me feel like hes improving because before
he was just in a ball in pain

got to give him his other bits and pieces tonight
tomorrow morning its same again~
mum isnt home for lunch tomorrow so i wont have to come home for him
just hope he manages to eat in the day!

the school have booked me for a morning on February 1st 
which i was thrilled about but I am suppose to be doing some dinner time work at another school that day so ive had to alter the times so i can get from one school to another
but its worked out
I do my best!
and i hope tiffin tries his best for me!

My nurarihyon figure that came today :D

Sunday, 8 January 2017

Keeping him going

Evening~

After spending a lot of the night worrying like hell about tiffin
i woke up this morning shattered
I got up at straight away went to get him
it seemed he had tried a bit of grass in his cage and possibly some hay as well.
he had passed poos 
so that was all a positive as after yesterday he didnt chose to eat at all
so i got him out

we started giving him his medication, syringe fed him
then i let him outside for a bit
he ate a little bit of grass
but he did seem more himself today like more energetic and his personality was there
he is still far from perfect though.

I have had him inside regularly 
offering him any food he may like
to which he has turned his nose up
so ive had to syringe feed him and also syringe water into him
he looks quite fed up with it all at the moment
started fighting back and growling when being fed.
im taking that as a sign hes feeling better
today i mushed up banana and gave that to him instead of the vet syringe food he hates
i also mushed up pineapple later in the day
both her really liked

just got another round of vet syringe food and medication and a quick drink
then hes all done for today
i really thought he'd have to go to the vets today
but he doesnt seem to need it
hes still not well though
if he just ate honestly all his issues would go!

this morning i went for a walk with my ipod and new head phones ^^
it was good to get out as it was sunny and really mild
ive been doing a bit of japanese each day also
i cut some strips of fabric as i want to make mum something for her birthday
i got stuff ready for tomorrow as its my first day of work! my first agency job!
and fittingly it is at my old primary school - were i trained
i will be there monday and tuesday as a teaching assistant 
i have got a proper winter outfit prepared as the classroom i will be working in is freezing!! it opens onto a court yard and so the room gets very cold very quickly
im looking forward to going back
the wednesday til february i will be a dinner lady at another school!
my mum used to be a dinner lady at my old primary school~

i hope i sleep tonight
im so very tired and still not 100% myself but i know its because im stressed about tiffin
stress makes my physical and mental condition worse
im hoping he improves tomorrow

tomorrow i have to get up and get ready and need to be at school before 8:30am
i have to give tiffin his syringe food and medication
i need to come home at lunch time to feed him again
go back to school
come home at home time and feed him again
then at 4:30pm he has a vet appt
tomorrow will be rush rush rush

a place i am looking forward to

my bed <3
with my pokemon bed sheets on~
i will never have a double bed i love my bed too much!

Saturday, 7 January 2017

He's gone backwards...

Evening

I'm so tired, emotionally drained and just not myself
which I suppose is how tiffin is also feeling
After yesterday feeling a bit more positive about his situation
today he doesn't seem as good.

He had managed to eat a bit in the night
He had drank. He had produced poos so his stomach IS working
and it looked quite positive this morning.
I felt he would be fine to stay home instead of another day hospitalized.
 
We had a vets appt at 9am
There was a lady waiting with us who had 2 ginger piggies ^^ so sweet~
The vet saw tiffin and said that he would like for tiffin to try stay at home
so I was relieved 
We were given 2 medications to feed to his + his syringe food
I got home and let tiffin go out into the garden, the first time in days
I thought he'd enjoy that and I hoped he would eat plants and grass
but he ran straight to his hutch.
and thats where he stayed...

Me and mum have been giving him his meds, syringe fed him heck we even mashed banana down just to try and syringe feed that into his mouth because today he seems to have gone backwards.
but we can't work out why he refuses to eat.
There is no issue, I just don't understand it at all
and looking at him today he just looked like
he'd given up. All he wanted to do was crawl into a ball and go to sleep.
I could understand that if he was elderly but he's so young and normally so happy.

The vet had told us that he would like to see tiffin on monday
but to bring him in sooner if we had concerns
I told mum today that I think he needs to go to the vets tomorrow because he isnt right
and it is heart breaking to see him so broken and poorly
and it goes through your mind "am i doing the right thing?"
I want to keep going with his treatment as theres no issue 
its basically like when we have a stomach bug and we go off food and liquids and stay in bed for a few days then we try bits of food and before you know it your eating full meals again
im waiting for him to just bounce back.
I really thought he'd be good today

Im not happy
Im quite depressed with it all
I havent left the house
I havent done much all day i feel very much in a daze 
I havent eaten a lot cus i dont want it
food is a huge chore right now
and my depression thoughts are quite loud too

tomorrow i will ring up the vets for an appt
they open at 10am I tried to ring today but they were already shut ><
I hope he is ok through the night
I cant bare knowing he is unwell by himself at night
i just want to keep him with me but he doesnt like my affection right now
he prefers mum -_____- which makes me feel like crap!

Come on tiffin dont give up
I need you  so much
I will just be a shell of the person I am if i lose you like this
right im off before i start crying once again 
 

Friday, 6 January 2017

It has all been like some sort of nightmare

My Tiffin
my sweet sweet prince
life has been like some awful nightmare
i have been stressed
emotionally and physically drained
I just want my prince back to normal...

Yesterday
my god yesterday
I was meeting Ed, it was the only day we could both do and he was taking the train to my city
I had stress, as Tiffin wasn't good. We had taken him to the vets the day before and they
gave us some food to syringe into his mouth, and he'd had an injection to stimulate his stomach and an anit-biotic to cure his cough/sneezing.
Me and mum tried getting the food down him, he spat a lot of it out his mouth
we offered up every kind of food to him; treats, dried fruit, fresh veg, plants from the garden
he wasn't happy and was in discomfort 

so yesterday i woke up after waking up many times in the night thinking about tiffin
when i got up i went straight to him and brought him into my bedroom whilst i got ready to meet ed
we had an appt to see the vets that morning before i went to go see ed.
So im there trying to get ready, feed tiffin, spend time with tiffin. i was stressed as tiffin was in pain.
he had eaten a little bit but he wasnt right.
i could have done without seeing ed. it felt wrong to even enjoy myself when tiffin was like this but its the way everything just happened.
i also had agencies ringing me left right and centre -____-

me and mum took him vets
the vet wasnt happy with his condition (we were seeing the head vet)
and said that tiffin would benefit from staying in the vets. to hospitalize my rabbit basically.
I couldn't believe it. i had NEVER had to hospitalize a pet before.
Im not good with others caring for my pets.
But I knew this was for his health and needed to be done
the vet needed concent for the treatment he wanted to give tiffin;
x-ray 
strong pain killers
fluids under the skin
stomach stimulator
He managed to rack up the BIGGEST vet bill we've ever had to pay
heck none of my pets have even had an x-ray before!
Mum asked me "do you want him to go through this?"
I didnt hesitate, it had to be done. He was only 2 and I couldnt give up so easily.
so we hospitalized him. I was in a bit of a state at this point. I tried not to cry with tiffin as it would stress him out as well. 
I left him, left mum and went to meet ed
mum said there was nothing i could do anyway and it would be a good distraction to see ed

i spend time with ed in the city center 
we left the city around 2:30ish 
I had been updated by mum, tiffin had eaten some food. The x-ray was good - there was no mass built up and he had passed poos so he was 'functioning' but he just wouldnt eat and was in pain.
We could pick him up at 6:30pm
Id come home with ed. We sat and talked and then had a massive play fight. God I was exhausted.
he could catch a train home at 6:23pm so at 5pm we left to go for some pub grub
then my plan was from there to take him to the platform and then go get tiffs
did it work out that way? did it hell

we were bloody ages in the pub!
we were there 1 and half hours!? 
which would make sense if it was busy and were waiting for a table and food
but that was not the case. the pub was dead. and after each course they near enough brought out the next one, it didnt let my food go down at all
ed looked at the time "we'll ive missed my train, next one is at 7:30pm"
mum rang up saying where the hell am i
i had no idea time had gone that fast!! it was like being in another dimension!!

in the end me and ed went down to the vets and met mum there
picked him up on the way back i dropped ed off the station his train was late
and after waiting 20 mins in -2c i was frozen 
got home showered to warm myself up then i got tiffs in
he was in a ball and wouldnt let me fuss him
hates me ><
he looked tired
he had dried blood down his face
he'd had a needle in his ear to administer his pain relief and tiffin had decided that he was gonna discharge himself and ripped it out his ear and it had bled and his poor ear looks sore.
i wanted to clean him up but he'd had enough of people faffing with him
so i tried him with food which he didnt want, i syringe fed him a little amount.

this morning he had an appt at 9:15am
so i tried to syringe feed him at 7:15am as it appeared he had eaten NOTHING through the night but on the plus side he had done some poos. not perfect but still it showed he was working and no blockages.I personally wanted him to stay at the vets again today. I felt they could do more for him than i could at home, i was afraid of undoing all their hard work yesterday if i took him home
luckily the vet advised tiffin to be hospitalized once again. so we left him there. i wasnt upset like yesterday cus i felt he was in safe hands.

i managed to pass the day
a lot less stressful.
we got a phone call, tiffin had perked up and could be collected an hour earlier today
so we were there eagerly waiting at 5:15pm
a different vet saw to us but we know her well as we've seen her for many years and shes lovely
she told us tiffin had eaten some kale and hay. hes been given fluids and pain relief. he'd been sitting on her knee as well whilst she tried to clean up yesterday's blood off his face. 
she felt confident about his health. she told us to give him anything he wanted which we were doing. he has got to return in the morning
they said he could be the same or he could turn a corner and be eating totally fine. 
these things can take a few days and varies rabbit to rabbit.
since, i have managed to get 6 pieces of dried fruit down, bit of grass, bit of hay in him which isnt much but better than this morning. i hope he eats more and produces poos.

i was so relieved when the x-ray was clear. kip had to be put down due to a mass in his stomach that had got so big it was in-operable. i couldnt bare to see tiffin suffer the same fate but it looks like we caught it earlier this time

he has managed to maintain his weight somehow 
the vet has weighed him every day in front of me and each time its surprised me
we dont know what has caused this just rabbits have such sensitive stomachs. 
hopefully it never happens again
i just want him right

currently i have just mopped the blood off his face and ear so hes clean now
he is in a ball on my carpet. doesnt really want my attention but takes mum's affection >.>
like hes punishing me for taking him vets
I am hoping like mad he is gonna be better in the morning cus i cant bare to see him like this for another day. 
my dad has very kindly paid tiffin's large vet bill >< so i once again am indebted to my parents.
dont know what i would do with out them. mum has been there every step of the way and helping me feed tiffin and she drives me to the vets whilst i look after tiffs in the car. 

i just sat this morning crying on my bedroom floor whilst looking at him in pain
and i just couldnt believe it was happening.
hes only 2 years old and was in such pain. why do i always get the rabbits who suffer?
i couldnt believe it had happened to tiffin. my boy. my prince
it felt like a nightmare and i would wake up any moment and it all be fine.

we shall see what tomorrow brings
this morning tiffin looked like he'd given up
i hope we dont have a repeat of that
i want you better prince
i love you so much i cant be without you!