Evening
Im well aware of my tardiness ><
Ok so let's catch up with Jozu's days shall we~
Friday
My parents went away so I said my goodbyes before I went to work
got to school and found out it was school picture day....
I had pikachu hair tie in and pikachu necklace
But then again im not staff right so I dont need to be in the photos
wrong!
As luck would have it I did my make-up really well that morning as I knew
I was seeing adam straight from work so I wanted my make-up to last
also i was smartly dressed mum said I looked like a teacher XD
Maybe I had a 6th sense on this!
So I was tidy apart from bloody pikachu in my hair XD
I had my photo taken with the class
the teacher and other TA didn't say anything to me they just let me join in.
It was indoor play again due to the weather
I went home at lunch
After work I got home and adam was there and he'd made me a brew ^^
we sat and talked as I was knackered really
had pets inside and such
made sausage cobs
played mario cart
and we had a bit of thing really not sure what you call it cus it wasnt an arguement or a tiff
basically we were talking about a mundane thing and i made a joke not knowing the topic was a sensitive sore point to adam. He said "i'll go home"
I was so tired I laid on the sofa whilst he put his stuff in his bag he came back and sulked like a child in front of me on the floor. I went and climbed all over him cus I thought he was playing i really did. I had no idea he was actually upset with me. He wouldnt touch me he just kinda pushed me off him. I told him I wanted to go upstairs. He was still quiet with me.
I said "would you really have gone home?" still thinking he was just messing with me.
"yes I would have"
"seriously?"
"yeah"
"was it that big of a deal? I thought you were messing"
"its a sore point"
I went quiet. It all kinda fell on me my thoughts just opened up like a damn my head hurt actually I wanted to squeeze my head but didnt want to look crazy so I just laid there
"are you ok?" he asked
I shook my head
i lost a few tears which soaked through his top
he looked down at me
"whats wrong?"
i shook my head
"i cant help unless you tell me"
"im just having a war in my head right now thats all"
"what is it saying?"
I just couldnt bring myself to tell him what was flying through my mind. It was just absolutely uncontrollable. Being upset causes this to happen its like my thoughts go into 'hyper mode'.
I didnt even know where to start. I felt a rage burn through me at the fact he'd leave me when I didn't understand as I wouldnt have made a joke if i knew it was a sore point to him i wouldnt have done it on purpose so the rage wanted me to have massive argument with him. Then the other part was saying that he is so quick to leave me cus im not worth being with he'll use any excuse to be rid of me. he'll leave me soon. It was horrible.
So I told him the jist I was a lil upset and he wiped my tears away
but he went quiet himself
"whats wrong?" I asked him
I could tell something was bothering him by his body language
"I've made you upset. It's my fault. I didnt think. It caused your head to start off"
"it's ok dont worry. im just tired. my head is fragile when Im tired"
He was still unhappy I could tell
So I brought Oz in as usually Oz makes him happy
but that only masked the problem I could tell
I took him home at this point cus it was near enough 9pm
he was quiet on the journey home so I turned to him
"you know, Im not mad. In fact im fine. We didn't argue. We didn't fight. We're not hurt or angry at one other. It was silly really what happened. I mean its not like one of cheated or anything is it?"
"yeah I know"
when I pulled up at his house I turned to him and grabbed his face with one hand
"you gotta promise me that youre not gonna go spend the whole evening hating yourself are you?"
"no no I wont"
"you best not otherwise Im not gonna be happy"
what did he go and do? he went and hated himself
Through txt messages he was telling me how sorry and stupid he was and that he wanted to crawl into a hole or punch something hard.
To be honest with you I knew nothing I would say would change anything cus I'd said everything so Id only be repeating myself. i was shattered as well and in my bed. So I just night to him and went to sleep. I knew he'd be fine tomorrow
Saturday
I cleaned out my girls
luckily I was able to do them before the rain came!
I went for a hair cut thank bloody god
I now have full vision no hair in my way!
I went over to adam's house
we sat and talked none of us bringing up yesterday which i was glad of
and we were totally fine with one another I mean at first he was a bit frosty if im honest
and i kinda thought "nooo not another day with him being like this"
but we bonded over darts as well pinned on the dart board a photo of an MP which had come through the post talking about election rubbish you know
so that was good fun. His dart board is next to his bed so after the picture had died he picked me up and put me on his bed were he cuddled and kissed me ^^ i could tell he was back to his usual self and we stayed there for a good hour just enjoying each other's company with cuddles
we eventually got up and went to my house
where we cooked some veg and chicken and had dinner
we attended to the pets as well and had a better evening than the day before
we sat and played pokemon for an hour i gave him a kadabra and magby for his team :)
Then at 9pm i took him home
and like the night before I got home, showered, txted mum and went to bed.
Today I got up at 8am
I attended to the pets luckily it actually wasnt raining!
I cleaned downstairs so it was presentable for mum and did some washing also
then i went on my laptop cus i hadnt been on it since thursday
did some dancing
My stomach yesterday after eating my lunch didnt feel right and made all sorts of noises
i had gone to bed with bad stomach pains and they were with me this morning
i had spent a lot of time in the bathroom this morning
my stomach hates me
so I didnt eat breakfast. I managed to cereal and lunch but regretted it
and didnt eat much dinner
so obviously cutting out tomatoes and potatoes hasnt made any odds luckily
mum came home at 12pm it was good to see her
she was reunited with pinks
I have done bugger all today
I have felt like crap
I havent eaten much cus my stomach just hurts and feels sick
I still have my cold which doesnt help matters but as of yesterday I did buy some cold & flu tablets to see if they can help shift it.
What a wasted day /:
I was meant to see adam but I knew I would just be pushing myself and I have work tomorrow as well so I decided to go to sleep at 12;30 and see how I felt when I woke
when I woke 2 hours later I felt no better so I told him I wasnt coming out today
he was fine with it
I'll see him tuesday no doubt.
Tomorrow I have school
and Im not in the mood to go i dont know whats wrong with me cus i like school
but I cant face going but I dont know what id rather do
I dont know what I want and I think its just the way I am feeling with it all
I will get the day done
Here is a necklace I ordered for £2 Its well cute and different made of plastic
I took a photo of it next to my finger cus check the size of it!
Evening~~
I slept through the night!!!!! Its like an achievement!
I can't honestly remember the last time I slept through with out waking
But I still felt a lil tired believe or not
so I spent my day in pajamas!
I got out my card making stuff and set about making
adam's mum a birthday card and my dad a fathers day card
I got his fathers day present in the post today and I am pleased with it
so I am all ready for fathers day
and the mug is getting printed also :) I like being organized
I did do some dancing this morning but I kept screwing up
it was like I couldnt focus at all on it
i did manage 20mins of yoga last night tho ^^
After lunch I climbing into my bed and rest
didnt sleep I rested
I got up and decided to finish dad's card
I knew adam was catching the bus over to my house and would be over
between 3-4pm after his shift at work
what I didnt know was that he'd creep up on me -______-
there I was minding my own business on my bedroom floor
gluing dad's card when suddenly I got a jab in my side
I screamed and I mean screamed
I put my hand over my mouth and turned to see the threat
adam was killing himself I couldnt look at him I was so embarrassed by my scream
he said it pierced his ears, well im high pitched anyway so you can imagine
i think it shocked me hearing my scream as I cant remember the last time
i properly screamed
i crawled into a ball and he came sucking up to me still chuckling under his breath
>.>
i'll get him
mum said she heard me scream from outside
So we sat and talked with mum for a bit
I went and got dressed out my pajamas
we went for a walk
then came back and had a drink
he showed me online what pokemon cards he's ordered
sadness
im hoping he's not gonna get into collecting them!
that would be an expensive hobby to say the least
besides I only like the first generation or so as those cards are the classics
not that i have them all
i would like to know tho which ones are worth money
i could be sitting on a fortune
not that i would sell them, theyre coming to the grave with me damn it!
I took adam home and had dinner
getting stuff ready for school tomorrow
going to wear my pokemon accessories :3
I just ordered a pokemon watch for £2.50 just for something different to wear
i only have 2 watches and its not broke the bank
tomorrow I have school which shouldnt be too bad
mum and dad are going away and there for mum cant bring me home at lunch /:
so its gonna feel like a long day i believe
i'll get through it
adam is gonna meet me at my house for when I get home ^^
he's taken a week off work so hes not at work now
he is staying for dinner with me and staying some of the evening
so if i dont blog its cus i ran outta time
here's a necklace i ordered cute right, similar to my one i got from convention
Otsukaresama desu~~~
I didn't sleep well I was beginning to have my usual nightmare
been a while since it's happened 2 days in a row
I was tired when I got up and not in the mood to deal with people and children
I pulled back the curtain to find Oz outside.....
but no one was out of bed...
that means I didn't fully lock his cage up last night!
My heart sank.
I went straight downstairs and went out to him
I have NEVER done that before
he seemed totally fine and quite pleased actually
thank god cus jesus that could have been a totally different outcome
enough cats cut through the garden at night
god knows how long he'd been outside
but knowing him i cant imagine he was outside all night he's too lazy for that
i am so grateful and relieved that he is ok
I got to school just before the rain set in
it is now 7pm and still hammering it down like it has done all day
heavy rain = indoor play
indoor play = no break in the staff room for staff
so I spent my break time drawing various pokemon for kids
someone had a pokemon card and i copied that for them
they were amazed even tho by my standards it was rubbish
lunch time came round and mum picked me up
i was glad to come home i had cheese on toast
then rested and it was soon time to return to school ><
but the afternoon did go quickly really
I got home and looked at the elephant mug i had finished last night
yup got it done last night just didnt take long at all and came together
quickly and easily
so ive ordered that. it will be on a white mug with a blue colour inside the mug
blue is her favourite colour and i felt it all matched with the blue inside and the blue background on the picture i like the little pink border too
im looking forward to seeing how it looks on a mug!
Then I stitched a top that needed altering which was a 15min job
nothing much really
then been online
oh and with Oz who decided to lick the inside of my ear ><
Tomorrow I am at home wooooooo
adam said he wants to come over after his shift
i told him he was more than welcome to
he wants to match me on mario cart apparently XD
Evening
I had my nightmare last night
At first I didn't realize it was the nightmare as it all happened differently
it was me in my bed which is where it usually takes place (feels true to life)
but there was these 2 hand gloves which looked and felt like a hand was inside
but they weren't connected to a wrist or anything for that matter
and they were attacking me and very strong when Id grab one i started to panic
then I realized it was the nightmare and I woke up it tried to pull me back in
so i got my kindle and flashed that in my eyes before it was too late
so i was tired this morning
I got to the acupuncturist on time
he gave me thinner needles and didnt stick them in as far as they could go
he told me that my stomach is inflamed and he wants to have ago treating my other issues
like my pain
but he says he cant tackle that until my stomach is right
he said youd be surprised how many illnesses are caused from stomachs not being right
he then said that he'd like me to go a week without
tomatoes, potatoes (not including sweet potato luckily) blueberries and peppers
ok thats a lil tricky cus i like tomato things but i will do it
i had 10 needles
1 in the back of each wrist
8 in my stomach
i hated the feel of some of them especially the one in my left wrist
i had the heat lamp also
I left wondering if to call in on adam to wake him
but decided against it in case it put him in a mood with me cus hes not a morning person
but then again hes never in a mood with me
so i went home and had my first cuppa of the day
put girls out to end up fetching them in 90mins later in the rain -____-
i had started drawing out adam's mum's mug I got pretty far actually
it felt good to draw again
even if it was just simple
then i met adam for lunch
his friend who does the lunches wanted me to try her meatball special
but i cant have tomatoes ><
so i had sweet chill chicken and bacon and cheese panini it was good as usual
adam paid. he always buys me food
then i drove us to his house
we saw his dad before he went out
then we laid on his bed for a 30mins then his dad came home and the 3 of us
went into the roof to look for pokemon cards we found them
i have far more than him X3
I didnt feel to good tho from 2pm on wards and was slowly getting worse
i tried to keep it together but was struggling
by 3pm i was wondering whether to go home or not
not wanting to get to the point were i dont trust myself to drive
we were only talking with his dad
by 3:40pm i got up and got my shoes on i said i was sorry
adam's bed was offered to me but i didnt want to have to do that
thats for emergencies
god knows what his dad must think of me
so i went home, came in and announced i was fine but needed my bed
mum came to check up on me and said i did the right thing coming home
i felt drained, very sick, and my head was really waking up
to the point were i felt i could have cried
i needed to knock myself out
which is what i did for an hour
i woke up to the sound of mum yelling as a pigeon hit the kitchen window and made her jump
since then i havent done a lot at all
dont feel good and got school tomorrow
i could do without it
its gonna rain tomorrow again so its looking like indoor break which i hate
cus indoor break means no break for the staff
luckily mum is bringing me home for my lunch!
then at home time might see mia around 5:30ish
here's a new top i was wearing today
kawaii ne~
