Evening
Today we lost a much beloved member of our family
Our Pinks
A.k.a. Miss Bull, Lady Bull, Black Bull, Attitude
Basically what happened is as followed
I woke up at adam's today I went to check my phone at 8am
to find a txt message from mum saying Pinks was bleeding. a lot
I felt sickened as this was not the message I thought Id be waking up to
I got home for 9:45am and checked her, well I didn't need to check her as it
was clear from her cage that she was bleeding
a lot of red sawdust...
we got her out and mum asked if id help bath her bottom - mum had already
done this in the morning by herself
and the smell. yeesh it was not pretty
it was like blood but gone off blood
so I bathed her and said to mum "i think she needs the vets I cant let her be like this
all evening and night" so I made the phone call
Pinks is very much mum's baby so I know she was feeling very sensitive
I got her in at 5:30pm
Pinks had had bleeding issues before around the age of 3
we had taken her to the vets as its very alarming to see your pet bleed
and we were given anti-inflammatory medicine for her
which did calm it down
from there i think she had it once a month every month for almost a year then she bled for a few days once every 6-12 months. But seeing today was the most blood shes ever lost in just 1 day. and it smelt, almost like it was off
We fussed her during the day and spoiled her as I think we knew what was coming
the last couple of weeks have really caught up with her I knew she was on her last legs
and whats been worrying me is that, her belly is big but her body isnt it
like all the weight is going on her stomach, why is that?
i had this sickening feeling something was growing in her stomach
i mentioned it to my brother and adam but not mum so not to worry her
When the vet appt came she was still bleeding
i drove us down and i felt sorry for mum as i knew how hard she would take this
we knew pinks was unable to have any treatment shes old and not strong
so I did all the talking. The vet felt her stomach and could confirm my fears
that she had in fact got a growth growing. He said left untreated she could
possibly bleed to death over night.
I wondered if thats why the blood smelt bad, maybe she was bleeding internally?
We wouldnt see her suffer
and as sudden as it was, we knew it was on the cards so to speak.
we said our goodbyes to her and let her be kindly put to sleep
it was the kindest thing as shes had such a brilliant life and we have spoiled her rotten
in her last few months, why should her final days be hell?
we brought her back with us to be buried with her sister
of course me and mum had both cried but i was trying to keep it together
for mum's sake really. Dad buried her for us
and that was it, our beloved Pinks had left us.
If she could have held on til saturday she would have made it to 7 years of age!!
bless her she was an amazing Pig, full of character honestly
a pig that was never that fussed on food and would rather throw her body weight against stuff and get up to no good. she was very loved.
I will share some memories of my lady bull and her sister Lily who we lost the other year
she was truly special and will be very missed
especially by mum she adored that piglet
we're down to 3 pigs once again
we're keeping her cage and stuff just in case any need a home!
We will always love you Pinks
rest in peace
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Evening~
I had a cruddy night
theres a shock
I was up til 2am then read in bed til 3am
I got 5 hours of fitful sleep
I was shattered this morning with bags under my eyes
but I got on with the day
Me and mum were going to a sound bath at 10:30am
it was arranged by Nigel there would be 12 of us and it was just
down the road from where adam lives so it wasnt far to go
we arrived on time and watched the lady set my god she had A LOT
of stuff well instruments really
I still wasnt sure what I had signed up for
i was in a room full of strangers to lay down and listen to instruments for 90mins
which sounds relaxing doesnt it
but when she starting telling us we could feel different sensations and stuff and
that would we literally resonate with the music as we are 70% water in our bodies
and sound travels through water really well
I had no idea what to expect but i was fine about it, its only sound after all isnt it
i could tell mum was apprehensive and anxious
I told her "its just like being at the cinema"
the lady gave a demonstration of her 3 gongs like those huge chinese ones you see on TV
my god the noise!!! seriously!! It is very impressive
and I could see mum getting tense but I told her if she needs to leave then so be it
as for me I settled down
We had an hour of listening to sounds of gongs, glass dishes, bells
it was certainly an experience and one id go to again
my only discomfort was back ache on the floor and it made me shiver like as if i
was cold but i could feel my body heat within the blanket
she said it could alter temperture
i had to turn on my side for a minute and curl up into a ball to get some heat i was freezing
but a weird type of freezing, one were you dont get numb and tingly just cold
it was a very quick hour i have to say!
afterwards she asked the group if we saw colours or felt anything
i stayed quiet simply because i was not gonna stand out of the group
as only two people managed to see one colour
me on the other hand...
i saw a serpent dragon standing tall on a black sea with a deep purple sky
then i saw a shamen in front of a sunset
she actually turned to me and mum and asked our experiences and i thought
'well she asked' so i told her and she was impressed with me and loves hearing what
people get out of it. yup i stood out of the group but i stood out anyway for being at least
25 years younger than everyone XD
we came home and i was starving and worn out
apparently it can make you feel very energised or quite tired
and both me and mum are tired! but what i did learn was that
I might sleep really well tonight!
I am certainly hoping so!!!
I had some lunch and asked adam how his job interview went
and he said it went well and he has 2 trial shifts this week
it will do him some good
his mum is getting her hair restyled and coloured today so i cant wait to
see the result as its my hairdresser doing it!
I sat and did some painting which ended up being very very different to
what i had originally drawn out but i like it better
the paint is very thick so will take some drying!
i helped a little bit clearing the shed out as my pets are out the shed now
Oz was round everyones feet thinking it was great that everything was moving in the shed
and it was more to discover hes a scamp
I put my pokemon canvas in the roof by myself
i designed adam's mums nails
mine I did last night
turned out ok considering how random the design is XD
then I wrote up all my ebay stuff so its all ready for wednesday now~
Tomorrow I am seeing adam but I have no clue as of yet what we are doing
he says he doesnt want to do much but i would like to do something with my sunday
its a week today we both go to antonys wedding any my brother takes his drone test!
Konbanwa~~
Last night I dosed myself up on herbal relaxants and
a sleeping tablet at 9pm and was in bed for 9:15pm
I woke once to adjust my blanket but apart from that I bloody slept!
I slept!! my god its a real privilege to be able to stay in my bed all night
and the night went so fast as well! I forget what a 'normal' night's sleep
feels like to have!
Upon waking up this morning i felt like I could have slept through til lunch
But I got up at 8am and went for a shower to wake myself up
got ready to see mia
my girls had been fine as well ^^
Mia picked me up at 9:45am
she always looks pretty
we went to the city centre and did her bank business then shopped
but didnt shop OTT like she usually does
I picked up more hot chocolate and a birthday card for dad
usually I make my cards but he doesnt appreciate home made stuff so I dont
waste my time and effort and simply buy him one
we went to lunch in Cafe nero cus she likes that place
I had pasta and she had a panini
and we shared a piece of banana cake but i didnt enjoy it so i let
her eat the majority of it
then we set off for the car
I felt like I wanted to look round more places but I was tired and knew she had stuff
to this afternoon
she came over to my house and I showed her the canvas I had painted
she really liked it
it's Pokemon Crystal Battle scene (2001) I think it looks alright
its on a canvas 18"x18"
she stayed for a brew and then headed off food shopping
I felt drained I seriously felt knocked out and achy
I crawled up on my bed knowing i shouldnt but all well
I fell asleep for an hour could have had longer
I got up and edited the photos for ebay
just got to write up the details then its sorted ready for wednesday woo
I need to do my nails tonight but so far I dont have any inspiration for them
tomorrow I am going with Mum to a Sound Bath that Nigel
has organised there will be 12 other people there and its for like an hour and a half
I have never experienced such a thing but Nigel recommended it to me
not seeing adam hes got a job interview and doesnt want to see me XD
Konbanwa~~~
Well last night my 3 girls shared a hutch
we made sure there was plenty of hay practically everywhere
in case one was left out or something
but I had feeling they'd be fine
My night sucked big time honestly
I was up at 11:30 aching and took 2 pain killers
did some dance and yoga and played pokemon then went to bed at 1am
not wanting a late night
by 1:45am I was up taking 2 more pain killers I was in agony
it was like screaming at me I didnt know what to do with myself
I went to bed at 2:30am and fell asleep but woke up a few times cold
When I woke this morning I had fallen asleep in my dressing gown under a blanket
safe to say my body was wet with sweat
I was pale, clammy and had bags under my eyes
mum said I looked like id been smoking weed in the night
she said i looked like a drug addict and I imagine i probably did!
i had technically overdosed in the night
I felt rough but got on with my morning
I sat with my 3 girls who were all fine, no one had cuts or chewed ears
just look at em
I took a photo of them today
alice always looks peed off in every photo you take of her XD
I took a load of photos for ebay
that took me a while and I photographed my pokemon canvas which will hopefully
be up on tomorrows diary
I had lunch with mummy and we sat outside having a brew watching the girls eat grass
we went for a walk near the river then came home
i was sorted a few things out on my laptop
i brought a new skirt reduced from £35 to £10! its Bodyline so its fantastic quality
Later I painted the base of a canvas for my next art instalment
i tried to draw out nail art for this week but wasnt feeling it
adam came over and i was on my sewing machine fixing a couple of things that had holes
he was a total git saying i had a hole in my leggings and i went to grab my butt
saying "where!?" he just laughed. idiot.
he stayed for a couple of hours and we had a brew outside but Oz didnt join us like he joined me and mum earlier. he was on paint bucket
well this weekend they maybe coming out the shed so he will have to part with the paint bucket
we booked bowling and pub for monday night! woohoo!
me and mum dropped him off and went to yoga
the woman who made sexual noises was there again this week
we were laughing and dreading it
but she never made a sound....strange
not complaining tho!
i got very cold in yoga which i dont usually but i lost feeling in my nose and toes!
tomorrow Mia has asked me if I want to go to the city centre with her
she needs to do something in her bank and then she can shop
we are gonna have lunch together
should be nice~
im gonna take a sleeping tablet tonight
which means everything will taste fowl tomorrow and i will be a lil drowsy
but mia is driving so im covered there
i just cant do another long night alone. i cant. i will break.
Evening~~
I went to bed at 10:30pm
woke up at 11:20pm
takes the pee
whats the point in that tiny bit of sleep!?
im so god damn tired I think Im due a sleeping tablet or something
I can't bare another night alone
I was up then til 2:30am
I got my canvas finished the so I can start whenever I like on the tree painting
I woke up at 10am but I can't say I felt better for the lay in
This morning I had the girls to clean out
and the played together outside whilst i cleaned out and there was no issues
I had Oz watching them X3
Then I suggested to mum that seeing as it was a nice clean cage what about seeing
what maisy thought about going in Millie and Alice's cage?
she was prepared to try it
someone told me that if theyre together in a cage for more than half hour without
fighting then you should be fine
so I sat and sat in my pajamas just watching them
of course they were all very wary as it was different for them but nothing kicked off
if its gonna kick off its alice that starts it
and maisy twice took food from alice's mouth! alice did nothing so i took this as a good sign
if nothing else maisy has serious balls for doing that!
I left them and we checked them every 10 minutes
later we got them outside and they played well and were fine going home
we brought them INSIDE and it kicked off a little bit for some strange reason
but it soon calmed down
and now at 9pm we have left them for the night in the same cage!!!
i cant believe this could be it we might have been able to put them together
after all this time i mean jeez i pray that i dont come to a blood bath in the morning
and all has been well
they seemed fine and all in their own spots when i put Oz to bed
We cant move them from the shed til maisy is in that hutch because her hutch is unfit for being outside in the elements it would be cruel and it was cruel of her previous owners to just leave her in that battered old hutch.
so they could be a trio! we've never had a trio set before always singles and doubles
I didnt do much this morning as there wasnt any morning left after id attended to my girls
after lunch i had psychology he looked at the pictures i draw of my dreams and feelings
we talked about them for the entire session he was surprised at my drawing talent
i never think that theyre amazing or want to show off i just do them
im seeing him again on 20th april next time we're talking about 'family'
I came home and had a brew then went to adams at 4pm
we sat on his bed talking as i was stressed
basically ive felt crap about myself all day weight wise i could starve myself easily
but i know i wouldnt get away with it
unfortunately
i was tired and achy from nigel and i know adam wanted to go out for food tonight
i told him i didnt want to he later told me his dad had already prepared dinner just like mum had but id told mum i was home for dinner so basically i had food adam did not
i felt rotten but he seemed fine about ordering pizza he never orders pizza with me >3>
so i pouted and wanted to stay for pizza but i knew id have to go home and wind down til like 3am til i could sleep and i was already stressing about the night
so i came up with an genius plan of instead of going pub for the sake of going out
that we would on monday - a week after our anniversary - we would go bowling, go out for food and then have a sleep over! perfect. i felt much better about it all
I came home for dinner and had Oz and the girls out
Oz was feral again
tomorrow I plan to sort ebay stuff out and then Im seeing adam then Yoga
god i cant take much more of these crappy nights
Evening~~~
I didn't sleep well
in fact it took the right royal pee
I went to bed at 10:30pm and woke up at 11:50pm
thats gotta be a new record or something >.>
from there I got up for pain killers and I played pokemon
but the pain was like screaming at me
I needed something to take my mind off it so I painted for an hour
my brother found me at 1:30am painting and sat talked to me
he doesnt go to bed til late most nights by choice hes a night owl
I got a lot of my painting done and its looking good :D
I have done a lot of art lately
here is a picture I drew the other day the Kanji is 'fear'
I went to bed at 3am and had disturbed sleep from there til 8:15am
when mum woke me for Nigel's
I went to Nigel's house and I had my treatment
he didnt let me see his dog as she'd been in the park and was rather smelly and dirty XD
as long as shes happy im fine with it
from there i went straight over to adam's house and had a brew then a bath
then we went to my house so i could let the pigs have a trot together and they behaved well
they havent seen each other for 2 days so i needed to keep it up
then we went into a town for food and we played a game of pool i found it hilarious as the table clearly wasnt level and the balls kept rolling down XD
we walked round a few charity shops
got back to his house and had a brew whilst it slung it down outside
it was rumbling with thunder and everything out there!
then stopped and sun came out which is how its been all day today
typical british weather
we went out to the shops when the sun was out for ice cream
oh and i gave adam the card id made he loved it and he said he'd ordered me something online
his dad liked the card also~
i came home exhausted i just was dead literally and was falling asleep
after my dinner but mum woke me up said id had half hour and Oz was wondering where i was
he was feral i dont know if its a full moon but jeez i couldnt cope with him!
i had a shower and just sat doing my diary with a face sheet on
tomorrow adam is on about wanting to go out for dinner
im not a fan of eating out
i do it cus its usually the person im with who wants to eat out
its a pain!
i have got my 3rd psychology session after 7 weeks to attend as well at 2;30
so i will probably see adam after then maybe as
for going out for food we shall see
we did go in a travel agents today for some brouchers to flick through
i cant say im arsed where i go just as long as its nice and got a pool
Evening~~
Me and Adam have made it together officially for 1 whole year!
a whole year together without killing one another XD
I can not believe it's been a whole year!
Seriously I've had my first boyfriend and relationship for a year!
I need an award XD I always thought my first relationship would
be over in a month cus i get bored and annoyed easily at times
or the other person wouldnt be able to handle me xD
adam seems to take my life in stride really easily and is very accepting
of it all he never has a go at me or anything and therefor doesnt
stress me out or makes me pull myself to pieces
we balance each other quite nicely
I wonder if we can make it to next year :D I hope so
its been sad I havent been able to see him as he's had a 13 hour
shift to do and its double pay so I totally understand him working it
its just said i cant see him at all as I made him a card
the front says "sometimes I wonder how you put up with me"
then the inside says "then i remember I put up with you so we're even" i need to write the inside of the card yet.
thought it was very much our relationship humour
it took a few hours so i hope he likes it
hopefully i can give it him tomorrow
I also finished this today just so I could at least upload this for him to see
I have done loads of art work lately
im enjoying it i must say
anyway today it is bank holiday and as i predicted on my earlier diary
i said it would rain today and i was right! stopped raining about 3pm
nice horrible day
I didnt sleep well
i had to take and pick up my brother from a bus stop i picked him up at 11:30pm
so by night standards thats no late and i didnt mind
my mum just commented how good our relationship is as some siblings couldnt
give two craps about one another
i wouldnt be without my brother ^^
I went to bed at 1am
woke up at 3am for pain killers and went to bed at 4am woke up at 7am fell asleep til 9:30am
its just broken sleep all the damn time
this morning i had to have Oz inside as it was throwing it down out there
he was giddy about it all and very sweet i thought he'd be annoyed at me for getting him out late
i did some of the drawing i was working on
in the afternoon i fell asleep as my eyes were stinging me
speaking of stinging me my face hurts and is sore all because i wore a little bit of make up
yesterday. its very sad and annoying that im having to be mega careful what i use on my skin
i think cus its not getting that healing time during the night as your body and skin heals between 10pm and 2am and im usually up then. so my skin is mega sensitive.
ive been ordering make up with skin properties in so it doesnt offend my skin too badly
but i made the decision that no make up now til 14th which is the wedding im going too
as i dont want dry scaly skin for that!
i watched a few youtube videos with Ozwald and I went for a 45min walk by myself
as i felt i had to get out the house seeing as i didnt exercise much yesterday
i did do a lil dancing but its nothing compared to fresh air
i made the decision that im gonna flog some stuff on ebay after the easter holidays
or during just depends on when i list the stuff as i have a fair bit now
i want to make a new hoodie/jacket also!
i have plans!
tomorrow I have got Nigel at 9:30am
mum and I think I need to see a nurse or doctor as ive got an infected toe nail on my little toe since friday and its not healing its just weeping and pussing constantly and very painful
sucks being me at times
and then i hope to see adam as he has to make up for working on our anniversary XD
