Home From France

I am home~~~

Got home around 5pm

I have had a good time

I've seen a lot

and tried my best to keep pace with everything

but there was a lot to do and take in

I havent got many photos but I will share what I have

I will do it all tomorrow

as Im shattered and mentally drained~

But its good to be home safe and I am so looking

forward to my bed tonight!!

Look forward to my French report tomorrow~

France Tomorrow

Evening~~

Didn''t sleep til 12:30
and woke up at 6:45am
wasnt impressed 
i was tired
but still started to day
I did try and sleep but i kept sneezing and blowing my nose
so i gave up and got up 
mum kindly cleaned out the pigs as i was having a massive sneeze
attack i dont think i would have been able to breath if i i had to clean out


Ah yes I went to Mias last night
turns out Rob is on holiday and mia had Todd her family dog
he's such an old boy now
I sat and talked to her whilst she made us an easy pasta dinner
we sat and had dinner it was good then i stayed til 9:30pm 
just talking with her really
it would good to catch up with her
seeing her maybe next friday

So today I went food shopping with mum
didnt want to but I did kinda thing
that was after I had attempt number one at packing for france
attempt number two, i started to gather stuff and mum said we had to leave
for karen's oil workshop
karen's thing was alright nothing special really
got home and had lunch as it was 1pm and i hadnt packed anything
so i went to start again, mum shouted "its raining" so i had to dash
and get the guinea pigs in
i went to pack and mum came in and said "will you just go away!!!"
i couldnt think my head is like a hurricane today and i was getting peed
off with trying to think then people call me away

luckily i got my packing done fairly quickly
its just about ready for tomorrow but theres stuff i cant pack til ive used
them in the morning

I went online to check a couple of things
at 3:30 i did half hour of dancing then went for a 40 mins walk
i was ready for a brew and a sit down which is what i did
then i sat with a face pack on, showered and sat with a face sheet on
both times watching natsumme yuujin chou~
then i had left overs for dinner so easy for me as i was just heating it up

ive eaten so much today!
my head is going crazy!
but it didnt help with karen giving me a home made chocolate to try
mum brought me a cake
and i brought new Oreos to try from the shop this morning
too much sugar and too much calories 
head wont stop

So tomorrow
ahhh tomorrow
mixed feelings about tomorrow really
Mum is taking me up to adam's house for 8:30am
so i think im gonna get up at 6:30am so i can shower
get ready, see my beloved Ozwald, and hopefully do some stretches 
gonna be in that car for several hours which im dreading
we are leaving adams at 9am i think
then i will be off to france
a country ive never been to
not left the UK in 16 years 
gonna be an experience and a half
but brilliant stepping stone for Tenerife next month
I will be home Wednesday
mum is looking after the pets for me~
not sure what time I will be home wednesday so i most likely will
do my blog/diary on thursday
i hope to take plenty of photos

tonight im doing some japanese
seeing my Ozwald and painting my nails

Next picture and france looms in

Konbanwa~~

It took me til 11:30pm to get to sleep
which for a yoga night isnt bad actually
I was watching Kalafina 10th anniversary on my Ipod in bed
such a talented group

I woke up at 7:30am
I did some dancing this morning for half hour as i didnt do any yesterday
then I went and did some drawing
continuing with a picture I started a couple of weeks back

thats how far I got with it
me and mum went shops i didnt really get much
a couple of amazing hair ties i died for, a SPF15 lip balm for when I go away
apparently your lips are one of the first things to age
so best to look after them!

I went for a walk with mum
in between rainy spells so we did well
i rang up to book my eyelash tint 
getting that done on 20th october same day as my hair so i will be pampered that day
ready for Tenerife
i rang the bank to say i will be in france and if its ok to use my card whilst im away
good job i did rang as i reckon that they would have blocked my card
i havent been outside the UK with a bank card and it would probably
be blocked under ''fraudulent activity''
need to do it again for tenerife 

mum dyed my hair
its currently drying
i wasnt gonna do it if im honest
but its gotten quite dark on top due to lack of sun to bleach it
also its very dry for some reason
so it knots up and feels dry
so im hoping dying it will revive it like how it usually does
but ive used a different brand i havent used for 2 years
interested to see what colour it dries as

shortly i will be going over to mia's for dinner
she couldnt see me during the day so has invited me over for dinner
she offered to see me tomorrow but ive got to pack and other stuff
so today works best
looking forward to finally seeing her been almost 4 weeks!

Tomorrow
my last day before france
adam txt today saying ''hes worried'
i said "what have you possibly got to be worried about? youve been france loads and youre going with your parents, i fail to see what there it to worry about"
no sympathy or pussy footing around with me XD
he said "the traveling and food"
i said "ok no one likes the travelling but youve done it many times before, and the food youve told me countless times where youve eaten in france and what food youve had over there"
ugh just worrying over nothing
i asked him "are you worrying about me?"
he said "no"
ok so what is he worrying over, was the food and travelling a mask for something else? or is he just pointlessly saying it? he said he couldnt sleep last night cus he was worrying
i think out the four of us i have the most right to worry
jesus
anyway so im packing tomorrow
im also going to another oil workshop with mum at karens
cant be bothered to go but i will
and i will paint my nails and do a face pack also~
ran out of time to do japanese today annoyingly so i will make up with it tomorrow
as i dont think ill do much whilst im away

Blood Girl finished

Evening

I was woken up in the night at 2am by my brother clattering and banging around
honestly 
then I woke up at 6:30am and been awake since
went for a walk at 7:15am as I was aching and felt the need to go out

My morning consisted of looking for jobs
I applied to just 2 and i dont expect to hear from them
despite spending 90 mins filling out the forms
its the way job hunting goes in this country for some reason
i was a bit bored and fed up of what to do today
i was struggling to find motivation as i was tired and achy
just how do people veg out in front of a screen? i dont seem to be able to do it
I did watch Nastume Yuujin Chou after lunch whilst cross stitching

Mum came home and we went for a walk
another walk
i didnt do any dancing today as i wasnt feeling it really
compared to yesterday i was really into it
but today im not enjoying anything
even food feels like its lost its taste
not understanding any of this

adam rang but couldnt be arsed to talk to him long
think i was on the phone 2 or 3 minutes
just wasnt in the mood to speak to him
glad i didnt see him today
he was in a mood with me last night cus i didnt see him last night 
but i dont chase after people
im a hard ass

i designed nails i want to do for france
rummaged out a korean hair care product as my hair is so dry lately
not sure whats up with it to be honest
just dry and tangles
i havent dyed it in months and that usually conditions it
but i quite like the colour so im gonna use this hair thing on saturday
hoping it revives my hair

i spend a lot of time drawing today get my blood girl finished
well its finished so far but may edit it in the future

got yoga tonight
i hope she doesnt kill us off
might get some japanese done before i go in half hours time

so yeah bit of a dull day really 
tomorrow i am seeing mia for the first time in nearly 4 weeks
we never leave it that long!
says i can see her til 11am so that doesnt leave it long til lunch
so god knows how the day will pan out
but will do me good to see her
glad im seeing her before france

heres the picture i should be working on next

Doodling blood girl and halloween dance

Evening~~

I did some Japanese last night ^^
I slept pretty well despite blowing my nose for a whole hour
before bed, its Oz''s fur it gets everywhere it would seem!
I woke up at 7:30am

I was sneezing and blowing my nose loads
so mum kindly cleaned the pets out for me as i think the
hay and sawdust would have finished me off!
I had the house to myself for almost an hour so for 45 mins i danced
after only 20 mins I was dripping so after 45mins i was wet through
i dont stop i just keep going and going 
im enjoying it tho especially learning a halloween dance~
I weighed myself this morning and what little weight id lost id put on

I showered and went on my laptop
then did some drawing
i did drawing for quite some time actually
got this far

i experimented on photoshop with it but didnt like the results
i will keep trying with it

mum went out with me we walked through a village and then went for
a brew at this garden centre that does incredible tea it really does
so that was nice and we talked about this and that
then came home
thats when i messed around on photoshop 

adam didnt want to see me today he'd had physio in the morning
and said he was resting it off
what that basically means is do nothing all day
his dad has massages and does nothing all day and so does adam it would seem
so i left him to it if he wants to waste his day let him
he said he'd see me tonight for a walk and so i can tell his parents
but screw it
if he cant be arsed why should i?
besides ive decided since this afternoon that im not telling his parents about my mental illness unless i start showing signs of it whilst we're away
it would have been nice to go a walk with him but yeah like i said i aint running around
so next time i see him will be france~~

i will do some japanese tonight
maybe dance maybe another walk who knows
its only 6:50pm so i have time to kill

tomorrow i usually see adam after his shift but he's going into the city centre
for a new 2DS and the euros then to pack as he wont get any time now
as friday and saturday he is doing 12 hour shifts 
i have yoga so we said on the whole we'd leave it which im cool with
so not sure what to do tomorrow mum is working all day
i might be by myself at this rate
i will get through the day

antique store

Evening~~

I did some japanese last night ^^
Im trying to be disciplined
I also started a lil drawing

Its gonna be a drawing of a girl enjoying the rain
but the rain will be blood
and its gonna say
"when it rains it pours"
just a random idea I had 
my ideas can be a lil weird at times i know!

I took sleeping tablets so I would sleep
as last night my god did i ache!!
seriously hurt after chiropractor 
this morning i woke up at 7:15am
my first word being "jesus"
my body didnt feel my own XD

I couldnt be bothered with the day if im honest
felt like crap, it was raining and i knew i had a drive to do i wasnt looking forward to doing
but i got ready regardless 
didnt dance as i didnt have the energy today just really didnt

so i went to adams at 10am
spoke to him and his dad about chiropractor and stuff then we set off
i could tell adam was nervous and anxious that he didnt know where we were going
he didnt like that 
his dad told me so as well XD
i asked adam in the car why he was nervous (enjoying him squirm)
he said "cus its gonna be something i dont like"
well thanks
i said "am i that evil and spiteful?"
he said "well this is you we're talking about here you do have these sides"
once again, thanks
felt like not bothering but in all honesty i could see his angle 
so i set out on our drive

we came near the building and he said
"are we going to an antiques store?!" i could hear his hopeful tone
i said "yup, 3 floors of tat coming straight up"
i could see he was relieved 
honestly am i THAT bad?

we looked round the tat
smelt weird in areas and was full of low ceilings so i felt sorry for adam
what him being 6ft 5 
he brought us lunch there he had scampi and chips i had soup
he brought a coke cola sign i brought some cheap fabric from the craft section
then we went to my house
we had the house to our selves 
we sat had a brew and fussed Oz then we went to his house
went for a short walk which i found exhausting
my muscles hurt almost like theyre brand new and not worn in
perhaps im using them differently now theyve been placed differently 
who knows
but damn hard work that is for sure!
we sat and talked on his bed and i came home

that was the day
gonna do my japanese now
then i may go for a walk ive eaten 2 cookies today and its not sitting right 
mentally with me so maybe i walk will cool stuff off
even tho im shattered 

tomorrow not sure what im doing really

mia contacted me and said i can see her friday :D 

Evening at Tara's and 1st Chiropractic Session

Evening~~

I just didn't go on my laptop yesterday ><

So yesterday I got up and got the downstairs all in order
I went for a walk 
and then got ready to see adam at 11am

we sat and talked I turned round on the sofa to yell something
in his face as per usual and as I did my jaw went with an almighty crack
....was not impressed
this is the 3rd time in 2 years its done this and it takes ages to go back
fully into place it took i believe 2 weeks for it go back in last time

we went up for food which i wasnt kicking a fuss up about
i had beans on toast but struggled eating it as i couldnt put pressure
on my teeth like to clamp down
so it made chewing painful to say the least

we went back to his house and i did his mum's nails
afterwards baring in mind it was 1:15pm and we were leaving at 1:30pm
adam said "you gonna tell my parents about your mental condition?"
i know i said id do it that day but we had what 10 mins?
plus the fact his dad was painting the kitchen and i do want people to look
at me when im baring my soul
so i told him no and he wasnt too impressed but could see my reasoning 

we left for taras
we started playing bucket of doom which wasnt too bad not as good as i first thought
then we talked, saw her cute hammy
we went on her wii and play sonic and mario at the olympics 
which made my joints hurt but i didnt announce that
i won anyway XD

we had dinner which tara had kindly made for us
she made pulled pork, stuffing, chips and cobs
it was really good
then we said me and tara would finally play just dance
and the boys would play on the PS4 on some car game
me and tara hadnt even left the room and they totally blanked us talking
about cars!!!
sod em we walked into the other room and cracked just dance out

just dance came out many years ago
ive only played it once and that was when it first came out
i was shockingly bad like terrible bad and the friend i was playing with was
soooooo  much better than me it seemed pointless to even play 
but last night i not only kept pace with tara - the girl who lives on just dance -
but i actually beat her a few times too!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i wasnt doing it for points as i was too focused on the dance to look at
how many points we each had
so i was really shocked but totally LOVED every minute i truly did
as i was dancing with someone and it was fun
tara who loves those games was over the mood that she found someone who matched
her and really enjoyed it as much as she

the only issue i had was my other personality
the night times become the 'night shift' so i have real issue with keeping a lid on her
and when theres stimulation from others and there was dancing and competition
yeah i went into the back seat and it felt like someone else was me
we came back into the room were james and adam were 
james said "the energy difference of you two, tara looks drained and Jo looks, well, high...you two havent been doing cocaine through there have you?" 
i was totally climbing the walls 
i tried to play fight with adam in the end he restrained me and it did help ground me a bit
i said sorry when i had calmed down somewhat 
tara and james said i had nothing to apologise for and that tara had seen me hyper before like when i'd had sugar rushes. they dont know whats up with me

we left at 8pm 
i went to take adam home and he said
"are you gonna tell my parents?"
and i did tell him that i would do it after we'd been taras but i didnt think i was gonna be THAT late so i said "no as its late ive got to get home, shower and sit with Oz AND calm down before bed"
he had a bit of hissy fit at me saying that I said I was gonna do it and they need to know yadda yadda yadda. I told him id see him one evening for a walk and do it then
yeesh
its finding a free point that both his parents are there and we have enough time for questions as i wasnt gonna just dump it on em and leave
adam can be dim witted at times 

i got home showered and sat with Oz
saw my parents for an hour then went to bed
theyd had an alright time in Norfolk

today i woke up at 8am
i had managed to sleep as i took sleeping stuff and pain killers
wasnt taking any chances in not being able to calm down

i did some dancing for half hour
then i got my wii out to see what was what
my wii was made in 2006 so one of the first i believe 
i was hoping to find out what software was on it so i could play the disk that allows you to play japanese games on it. 
i didnt get that far as a piece in the back where you plug cables into has literally perished and doesnt work. so i grabbed it up and took it to CEX and asked if it could be mended
you can buy a wii these days for £20 - £30 believe it or not
to repair mine would cost £48
i walked out not knowing what to do
ive never had a broken console before heck my PS1 still functions!!
i was gutted in a way but £48 is a lot of money to me
but do i want someone elses wii?

i came home and went for a walk 
feeling quite crap about myself that schools have gone back and im still on the outside not making a difference or having a proper job
just dont have work colleagues or a life outside the house
and its sad
im lost and goalless

i came back and had a brew watching Nastume Yuujin Chou Roku
then I caught up online
and 4pm came round where id be going for my first chiropractic appointment 

i got there and she was running late as usual
i was the last appointment so it was dead there
she got me doing a few things to see my symmetry and flexibility and strength    
i told her my jaw was out of place and hurts to eat

i had all sorts done to me but she said she wouldnt go crazy because of all my health issues
by the end of the session she said "i did more than i was going to"
i was glad tho as its not cheap and i can deal with anything thrown at me
she went to crack my back by making me breathe in, then out then she'd press her palm hard down on my spine. it cracked in 5 places at the same time
it surprised her as she said "It usually cracks once or not all, that was big"
my reaction "that was gross!!" and laughed
she found my reaction strange considering i crack my joints but i told her
never has someone else done it for me and done so many joints in one hit so to speak
i had her finger in my mouth i kid you not, to stretch the muscle for my jaw
she cracked my knees without meaning to
and afterwards i could move my spine so much easier i have even more flexibility 
im going back the day after france 

i got home and felt cold and crippled
the lady said that usually people feel the after effects the next day but because of the coniditions i have i could feel them the same day
boy can i feel them, jesus like being hit by a car but it feels like things are sitting right
i told my parents i had acupuncture needles and her finger in my mouth
in the 10+ years my dad has been seeing her never has he had her finger in his mouth XD
he says ive raised the bar
i had a hot shower and ive got heat packs covering me as im cold and achy
got to get comfy in my bed and sleep yet!

got to do some japanese today as i didnt do any yesterday as i didnt have the time
id like to do some drawing 

tomorrow
seeing as i havent done or got much for adam for his birthday which next monday
i thought id do something for him
so ive told him im taking him somewhere he doesnt know where tho muahahaha
im taking him to an antique shop which has 3 floors of sodding boring smelly antiques
as my sad boyfriend likes british antiques T^T
ive been once before, not my thing but theres a cafe for a treat afterwards 
so im taking him there as im hoping he will enjoy it
he might have been before but i know hes not been for long while
and he should enjoy it ill try not to moan too much XD

the manga i got last week~

got some good wolf pictures in it i want to draw~