Konbanwa~
Did I sleep >.>
I tried so hard to stay in bed but I had to get up
felt like Id been in a car wreck
so yeah not good and I had work to go to!
My god it was cold this morning
I got to school alright and stuff
Jack thought he could spite me by making me clean out the fridge
just because the inside was covered in blood from last week
but I really didnt mind
only blood
so yeah I got to that and then had to clean out another fridge and a freezer
both of which were blood free~
then I just did a shed load of washing up
mixed one chemical up
that was my day
spent the whole day in the chemistry lab with jack just us two
hes easy company tho i tease him where i can and tend to forget he's my boss XD
I had a hot chocolate at lunch which still gave me stomach ache
so the banana i brought didnt get ate til on my way home
dont know why i struggle to eat at school
me and jack talked about all sorts all day really
and we got on the subject of cake
and he asked if i wanted to go out for cake on sunday
baring in mind he hasnt been out with anyone else from school
and ive only been there like 12 hours or something
so im guessing ive made a good impression
i said yeah
cus i hate sundays, its cake, and its company, and hes a good person
he was shocked id said yeah XD
so yeah maybe on sunday i will meet up with him
if he still wants to that is
hes just text me so i have his number now
be good if i could have some company this weekend
as i have nothing planned!
I got home and was quite tired
but i danced for 25mins and then showered
felt better as i always feel like i must have chemicals on me
i probably dont but i feel like i do
i talked with my brother and had Oz out then dinner
and did 25mins of yoga and now just doing diary
about it really
I ache so much
ive booked in to see the doctor because my joints just hurt and more often than not im having to put them back into their place. and it hurts. i hurt in the night. its going on for too long now
i had a phone call from the doctors saying ive got to have a repeat thyroid test in 2 months time because my thyroid levels are high but i think thats because im taking Iodine which helps boost thyroid function as i felt my thyroid was too sluggish and that the doctor wasnt giving me enough medication for it so i brought Iodine
im having a phone call from the doctor on monday to tell him im taking iodine guess i can see what comes of it. personally im happy if my thyroid is working too much.
rather it work too much than not enough
tomorrow i have got a hair cut
woo
my hair has kinda lost its style somewhat
thats at 10:30am
i did try dying it pink last night but yeah it didnt really work that well XD
im gonna exercise before my hair cut
apart form hair cut i have nothing on
but i might get some more painting done
heres my squares so far, looks better from afar
very tempted to take a sleeping tablet tonight
just cus i get no relief
and im tired of being tired and not sleeping
Evening~
Slept rubbish as usual
how long is this going on for!? sick of waking up aching
I feel like taking a load of pain killers
anyway today my god was it cold! it was -5c this morning
and it only reached 0c at its warmest today 0.0
so yeah very cold
it was really frosty all day
in the morning I went and attempted to take photos of Oz outside
but would he keep still? he honestly was everywhere
so heres the best of what I got of him~
He is sweet
he was being really giddy because I was following him round the garden XD
I did 30 mins of yoga this morning as I felt like road kill
did 30 mins of dancing and got sweaty so went for a shower
then i was looking at cosmetics on line
just different stuff to try
looked at hair dye - pink - until i remembered I have some temporary stuff
in the cupboard still, so tonight im gonna put that in my hair
see what happens
nothing may come of it as my hair isnt exactly light or bleached
The furniture came and I was home alone so i had to see to the men by myself
I was ok really
just freeing cold cus i had to stand there with the door open
then I laid on my bed trying to get warm
I got up and painted
then helped sort the room out as my both my parents came home to sort it out
looks so different
then i sat with Ozwald, twice
as i didnt want to put him outside it was just too cold
he had been out but i felt cruel bringing him for a warm to boot him back out
i sat with my girls
i did guinea squeaks as I can do them quite well and it made Molly squeak!
so cute it was like talking to her XD
then I got stuff ready for school tomorrow
im not really taking lunch as i was so anxious last week that my lunch didnt sit right in my anxiously knotted up stomach and had stomach ache for the rest of my shift
i will eat when i get home cus i finish at 3pm anyway
just have a good breakfast
i feel anxious NOW about my shift
stupid really but its just cus i want to do well and get it right
and not 100% sure what i will even be doing
im hoping i get to see the pigs hearts they were doing this week
so not got anything on tomorrow apart from work which will tire me out no doubt
it is now a week before I turn 27
dont feel it, literally feels like a number on a sheet of paper as i dont feel mentally that age
maybe being ill and being house bound has some what made my mental clock stop
is what it feels like anyway
im immature anyway
i might try and look at science books today as i havent looked at the books Jack gave to me
ive got yoga then ill come back, shower, eat dinner and dye my hair and then have Oz then attempt to sleep before work tomorrow
stupid agency rang me again at 6:50am
i was not happy to be woken by that phone call as i hadnt slept
and was actually asleep >.>
Evening~
Last night sucked
Woke up at midnight to the sound of loud beeping
i couldnt make out what was actually beeping and it soon stopped
but it was enough to wake me
so then i was awake and ended up downstairs
i was back in bed at 3am
i was tired and ached
i got up at 7 cus I knew I had to get up for stupid blood test
Doctors i think i was only in the chair 20 seconds waiting for the nurse
shes always on time
my god i wasnt good
passed out
the needle had to go in twice as first time no blood came out
yeah i went
took ages to recover
my vision kept going
i was sat out in the hall
mum brought biscuits and a drink which was a life savour
id gone white i had no colour in my lips i was dripping in sweat
stupid crappy blood test
never again it aint worth the stress
i recovered at home once i could walk to the car with shaky legs
we got ready to go swimming
swimming we were early so the pool was blissfully quiet
and we swam for 30 mins in the warm pool ^^
then sat for 10/15mins in the jacuzzi which was lovely
i was done in tho
cus i hadnt slept and i was traumered from the morning
so after i had lunch i went to sleep
when i got up i found mum had kindly cleaned pets out
i went food shopping with her
came home and had a brew with Oz
then painted just two squares of my painting
i printed out the forms for my job
ive filled half in but brain isnt in the right gear to fill rest out
who understands pensions anyway >.>
ill do the rest tomorrow and what i dont understand i will ask at school
my girls are doing well
molly squeaked when we rattled the spinach bag bless her
its so nice to have a squeaky piggie again!
Tomorrow think ive pulled the short straw
the new furniture for the back room is coming so ive gotta wait in for it
says its coming between 11 and 1
i hate doing stuff like that
but dont know what to do with my day really
id hate to waste my day round the house
but not sure what i want to do anyhow
suppose to be cold
think its suppose to be like -3c tonight
so i dont think tomorrow will be warm
this morning i could barely get the shed door open from the ice
could be worse i could be in scotland where they have got snow~
i shall entertain myself one way or another tomorrow
heres the picture im working on
Konbanwa~
didn't sleep great but whats new
got up at 7:15am
there was ice and frost ><
my girlies were cold when I got them in
they were a bit skittish this morning bless them
I couldnt be bothered to exercise this morning
but knew i had to do something
I watched Urban Dance Club on youtube and my god they were amazing
so when I did my dancing downstairs this morning
it made me try harder
i danced for half hour and i was soooo sweaty it was gross
much needed shower~
I sat and painted for a bit
got 9 squares painted now
think its looking alright
mum came home and we went food shopping
we came back and had lunch
i went and laid on my bed cus i was cold
then we went out to TKMAXX we were gonna go a walk but it was raining and cold
been like 3c all day
i got some new trousers for work as mine we scruffy to say the least
and theyres cool as the have a half skirt thing over the front so it looks like im wearing
a black skirt with black trousers underneath! and only £7.99 and originally from Zara
bargain man
mum got a coat which was reduced to £20 from £75 so she was happy
we came home and had a brew using the tea bags i got her for her birthday
which was soooooo nice
my white tea leaves came in the post today im gonna try them tomorrow!
i sat with Oz having my brew
then i went upstairs on laptop
then did half hour of yoga
had dinner and back upstairs
might do some dancing or drawing see what takes my fancy
my piglets are doing well
i got molly out this morning and felt her spine
i have never in all my years felt a guinea spine
even maisie who was under weight when we got her
so im guessing another reason why molly feels so tiny is because shes under weight
you can feel her leg bones
we weighed her today she weighs as much as millie which shocked me as millie
feels heavier than molly
we will monitor them both as usual
hopefully she will fill out and be a round piggie
tomorrow ahhhhh tomorrow not happy
stupid crappy stupid blood test
ugh >.>
HATE IT
DAIKIRAI!
stupid
not going
gonna have a paddy XD
got to get tested for hormones and thyroid
just cant describe my hatred for blood tests
id rather have an interview and everyone hates interviews XD
then i think were gonna go swimming again :3
after ive recovered from blood test that is
keep having a lot of dreams involving my other half
theyre always violent
and quite disturbing and i end up waking up
Evening~
I didn't sleep that well
i just ached really
but managed to stay in my bed
I was woken by stupid agency at 7:30
ugh i dont do morning calls and i hadnt slept
wasnt impressed
I went straight to check Molly and Millie
and they seemed fine
when i checked them last night they were wedged together
and today they were ok and ate spinach together in the hall
i think theyre adjusting well ^^
mum is in love with molly as she really reminds mum of Pinks
I did the 30min zumba dance routine in the morning and went for a shower
sat and did a bit of painting
got ready to go school
had lunch
got to school 10 mins early
sat and talked to alan and jack and then jack soon put me to work
just doing odd jobs nothing amazing
then we went upstairs and prepared some stuff, i got to mix some chemicals
i did a lot of washing up
jack genuinely thought I had ADHD XD i know he thinks im weird
then we just got talking
turns out we have led very similar experiences
he too had to quit a course he was on
he didnt really leave the house much for two years
he had bad depression
suffers with anxiety
was on 10 tablets a day
and yeah it was quite surreal listening to him as i thought how similar we were
so i shared my stuff
he said he couldnt tell i had all that wrong with me
weird really
in a way its kinda nice to know there are others out there my age who have had a crap time of growing up in their youth. as when i was going through it i felt utterly alone with it and felt so different from everyone else
we ended up leaving school late as we were too busy talking ><
got home and mum made me a brew
i managed to reschedule an appointment ive been ringing up for for the last week
then i did some gentle dancing in my room
just on my laptop now but so tired i really am
looking forward to my bed
thats if i can sleep in it
sleep has been so hard lately cus i just hurt
i might try do some more drawing tonight or something
but not feeling it
i used new eyebrow powder i got in the post on saturday
ive been wanting this for months and months but its always been so expensive
until i found someone selling one second hand on ebay being used twice
and its fine and i really like it, i can see why everyone uses it
its Kanebo Kate eyebrow powder
well impressed
tomorrow not sure what im doing
was seeing mia but shes cancelled on me again
but im sure i will see her soon
Evening~~
I slept rubbish last night
well i slept til 3am which I guess was good
but then woke up at 4am then 5:30am which I got up
went downstairs and went back to bed at 6:30 and woke up at 8:30am
I had slept in my dressing gown, fleece pajamas and 2 blankets
safe to say i was sweaty when i woke up XD
so I grabbed a shower first thing really
it was the morning of going to the guinea pig rescue centre
i was nervous and excited
i got millie all set to go and sat with her in her comfort bag on my lap
dad's driving was horrible and aggressive and it reminded me of why
i dont travel with him anymore
we got there and the woman showed us to her shed of piggies
my god there was a lot
there must have easily been 100 in this shed
i couldnt believe my eyes
and i could hear them too!
the lady picked one up which was a cute teddy one i liked
then she went to pick up another which was a tri-coloured one but then she said her personality was a bit harsh so she picked up a black scruffy one
and mum instantly liked her as she had got a little petite face like Pinks, rosettes likes Pinks and small like Pinks
so we brought this guinea inside into probably the most unhygienic kitchen ive ever been in
and placed her on the floor with millie
they sniffed one another and then the guinea made a run for millie's comfort bag and millie followed her into the bag, they circled in it til they were comfortable and settled in it
that was that
i was expecting a bit of a kick off and aggression but nothing not even a squeak
we held the pig and was told
she had been in rescue for 2 days
she had come from a house in hull with 7 other pigs from someone with mental health issues
she was 3 years old
thats as much as we know about her
we left with the guinea pig
i placed them both in the carrying case we brought with us
it was the rabbit carrying case so plenty of room
but they sat huddled in a corner eating hay
millie tried to get some hay out the other guinea's mouth and she squealed!
so nice to hear a guinea pig as millie cant squeak and alice could never be arsed
we got home and my brother instantly liked her
and held her
mum named her Molly
we put her on the hall floor with all of millie and alice's stuff
and it kicked off a bit obviously cus it was millies smell and territory
so my brother watched them til me and mum had prepped the outdoor hutch in the shed
we put them home and they chased one another which didnt look good but they soon settled down
i went to bed i was shattered and freezing
i needed chill out time from dad and guineas
it was a lot to cope with
i got up and did some dancing
i checked on the pigs and they were sat separate from one another
i put them on the grass, not knowing if Molly even knew what grass was or not
but millie was out and about which was nice as since shes lost alice shes just moped in a hay basket we put outside for them
then i went for a walk
when i came home i got the pigs in and took my first of probably many photos of Molly
here shes is
total cutie
shes small like millie is small
and shes so sweet and submissive
im so happy millie has a friend
we've never had a black guinea pig ether
shes black all over but in her rosettes theyre like a deep brown ^^
I sat with Oz and had cake
he helped himself to some cake >.>
then i took him home and uploaded Molly's photo online
and did a bit of painting
gonna draw tonight
tomorrow i might paint draw or exercise in the morning
see what i feel like and see how rough a night ive had
then i have work after lunch
i hope the pigs will be ok over night
i hope molly settles in quickly!
she will be very loved and spoiled her
Evening~
Didn't sleep great
been awake since 6:40 which is the time I got up
I let Oz out and I got ready and had my breakfast
crawled into mum's bed whilst she was still in it
and wished her a happy birthday
got millie out and bathed her
cleaned her hutch
sat with mum and my brother whilst mum opened her birthday presents
made mum a cake and decorated it
went for a run
and had a shower
all before 12pm!!!! what a feat ;)
i actually had energy this morning so i went for it
i knew i had all those things to do anyway
my dad was starting decorating at like 8am and thats the room
millie currently lives in so i knew i had to get her sorted whilst
i still had access to everything
i knew the cake wanted making so it could set for the afternoon
of course mum needed to open her stuff
she loved what i gave to her but her favourite thing was this
a lil guinea toy i got from Manchester convention last year!
id saved it for her birthday
she loved it
oh and heres the cake,, nothing amazing but tasted great
i knew that i wouldnt be able to do any dancing today what with everyone
decorating so i thought id get a run under my belt
after lunch i sat with millie on my bed
shes so damn cute right!
speaking of Millie
tomorrow is the day we take her down to meet and greet a potential friend!
im actually quite excited to go
just seeing all those guineas will be a treat in its self!
we bathed millie so she looks presentable and helps get rid of her scent too
another reason why i cleaned her out too
she cant stink for socialising!
me and mum went out for a brew which was nice
then we drove to shops
i got a canvas as i had an idea for some art work i wish to do
we came back and had a brew and some cake ^^
afterwards i went on my laptop and did a lil dancing
then i deleted 200 pieces off my deviantart website
a job i kept forgetting to do!
just rubbish really and really old stuff too
so ive had a sort out really
then my family went out to the pub
i stayed home
did some dancing but got a bit sweaty so i stopped as i didnt want to shower again
sat with Millie and Oz
Oz licked behind millie's right ear and when he was finished her fur stood up in all directions XD she looked so cute, she shivered which made Oz growl!!!
I have NEVER heard my Ozwald growl before!
and what a growl he has! I was really shocked actually
dont know why he decided to growl
but Im glad I know he can do it
my family were bringing home take away pizza
and dad usually lights the fire when we do
i thought to save him a job id do it
never ever done it before
and i did it fine
i was happy with my little achievement
both my parents were surprised and grateful they both said well done
like its a massive achievement XD
pizza i only ate half mine as i didnt want to give myself stomach ache
so just got to sit with Oz now and then bed
i really want to try white tea but its expensive online
so im gonna check supermarkets and if not i will try online
tomorrow going guinea place!
think mum has had an alright birthday
ive made a fuss of her anyway ^^
