Got Convention Tickets!

Evening~

fell asleep around 12 to wake up at 1am
life is cruel -____-
i went downstairs for an hour
so sick of entertaining this whole not sleeping business
i woke up at 4:30am as well
and then 7:50am

i had an easy morning in my pajamas
i did do half hour of yoga tho
then went in the shower and had lunch
which was a mistake as its given me stomach ache all day

at 1:30pm i went to see jack
we went and brought convention tickets!
yup were going! believe its 4th may were going
hes never been to a convention so it should be good
then we went for a walk around the park in the town centre
i havent been round it since i was a child
so it was good to see
and its right next door to jack's old high school
so he was much more familiar with it than me 

we went back to his as it looked like rain
it actually hailed today as well
we talked with Theo til he went out to the gym
then we sat and had a brew
and talked
i think i freaked him out a bit as i told him i dont have all my emotions which he knows as he's met Eko who has a good portion of my emotions but i think it hit him a bit when i said i dont have sympathy, empathy 
yeah it  hit mum hard as well
cant help it
im not proud of it
and yeah it bothers and scares me
as ive watched enough people to 'copy' these emotions or reactions
he said it was a bit psychopathic 
but that i was still me and yeah. maybe i shouldnt have told him

i got home and had dinner
and then i decided to google the psychopath test as i know there is such a test
and 'normal' people score 0-5
i scored 17....
at least i know i can do well on tests XD
yeah its a little sickening i guess but then it doesnt actually bother me
im me and thats all there is to it

i told jack ive taken up yosakoi again
and he wants me to sleep over on tuesday
i said maybe by then id have a yosakoi finished and show him
he seems up for even trying it himself
so we shall see
i feel tomorrow i got to work hard at my dance practice!!!
dont want to show myself up ><
i have been putting off showing him tho i have to say
i guess i worry what he will think
as i know im not great at dancing i just enjoy it
i do wish i could dance better but yeah, i know improvement is slow when you only teach yourself, still i know i got to show him one day ><

ordered a new screen protector for my phone as i dropped mine this week (never drop my technology) and it scratched it up pretty bad 
the one and only time i drop something and it scratches but i guess thats what the protector is for.

so tomorrow i am drawing and dancing 
thats as much as i have planned so far

lets bring on another night of not sleeping
and another day time of stomach ache
woo go jo!

Starting Yosakoi again!

Evening

I got up at 1am but I went back to bed at 1:45am
was not in the mood to stay up
besides it was so damn cold!
i then woke up at 6am to find we had frost!

I cleaned my pets out this morning
then washed my hair ready for my hair cut
i was so quick at the hair dressers like 10mins!
and i can confirm i can see once again!!
my god its good to be able to see and not have hair
constantly in my vision

i came home and i actually just crawled up in bed
i just felt the need to be warm
and i read but i actually nodded off
i woke up to find mum had made me a salad for my lunch
it was really good
but gave me bad stomach ache
so thats it now i think im done with lunch
its not worth the sodding hassle 

i did some dancing
more specifically yosakoi!
yup started that up again
i went through a dance i learned in the summer and i got to the end in half hour
i was shocked at how much i retained 
it was fun and i forgot how fun yosakoi dancing is
i went for a shower as i got myself rather hot

i went back to bed
i just couldnt think and my body felt so heavy
i had fought the fatigue like all day and week
and i knew i was due a recovery period so i just laid in my bed for like 2 hours
then i got up and did some food
after food i went for a walk at 6:30pm down by the river by myself
it was nice but much colder than i thought it was gonna be!
ive just got in really and doing a bit more of chrono, i will watch some anime and sit with Oz and hopefully grab some sleep tonight
i must say these nights are becoming tedious im sick of entertaining them

tomorrow believe im seeing jack
think we're gonna get convention tickets

how far i am with chrono

i should have done a lot more on it today but had zero concentration or patience for it

Seduction Pose

Evening~

I was up at 1:30am feeling sick and achy
i went to bed near 4am
i was doing my usual - pain killers, cereal, tens machine
but i also did half hour of yoga
did feel weird not going yoga this week
i had so much pain killers in the night that they zonked me out
and i didnt wake til 9am

i got up and had breakfast and then danced
the half hour went quickly actually
then showered and went on my laptop as i had a lot of catching up to do!
i ordered some stuff online 
a blusher - as Jo always needs colour on her very pale face
a fan - as i need one to do this yosakoi dance
a yosakoi kimono- about died when i found it and so cheap too! had to be brought!
im gonna wear it when doing yosakoi ^^

i didnt bother with lunch as its not worth the stress and im not hungry anyway
i went to bed for an hour i was shattered mentally and physically 
when i woke up me and mum went for a brew at a garden centre as they do nice tea
we were gonna have cake but decided to be good

i came back and then mum forgot we needed stuff from super market so we went back out
then i came home and ate cereal in front of a dvd for 15mins
then had dinner and watched some anime
thats been my day really

ive tried doing a bit more digital work but havent gotten that far
so ready for bed i just hope i can sleep

tomorrow hair cut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am more than ready to have a cut as i cant see for this fringe
its getting a good hacking!!!

i forgot to show yesterday
ed brought be another anime figure
which some would see as a nice gesture but look...

another busty babe 
im sure he gets them me for a laugh
i laughed at it and said "look at the seduction pose" XD
he didnt need to get me anything tho

its 8pm and i havent heard from jack all day :/

Mini Golf with Ed

Evening~

Didn't sleep great
woke up at 3am thinking it was much later than it was
when i saw it was only 3am i groaned and got up
i felt sick and achy
i went to bed around 4ish
but couldnt sleep that well
and i woke up at 7am and napped til 8:30am when mum woke me
she said i was groaning in my sleep
i was probably aching in my sleep >.>

i did some dancing this morning
getting further with cross road
the ending is within reach!
its such a good feeling to be able to finish a dance
but i found theres a new Yosakoi dance out!!!! *0*
must learn!!!!! love yosakoi!!!

anyway i got myself ready this morning to see Ed
and did a few jobs like book myself in for a massage for a couple of weeks time
and then just laid there til he arrived
didnt bother with lunch as it only gives me stomach ache
and i couldnt be doing with it

ed arrived and we had a cup of tea together
he also annoyed me so i annoyed him back
and he gave me plenty of cuddles ^^
i dont think we will ever lose the bond we have
although i do call him a perv at times XD 
and the stuff he comes out with makes me laugh
typical male humour
never fails to make me laugh
but sometimes i feel unsure why he still sees me
ive known him 7 years and i have watched him mature in that time
whereas i feel like ive stayed as the same childish idiot in a way

we laid on my bed where i almost fell asleep
dangerous for me to lay down when i dont sleep at night as i literally just go
im gone in minutes 
but mum came home and i got up
then me and ed went to a pirate mini golf one ive been to before
i totally won
he kept hitting it out i was like "its not hockey you know!"

it was fun
and then we went for something to eat at a pub on the way home
he had lamb i had chicken
then we came and had a few play fights at home
then he left 
it was good to see him as god only knows the next time we can meet up

i am well and truly shattered tho
i had my room to tidy after he left
as i had to sew 6 badges on his uniform which he said would have cost him £23!!!! rip off or what!! and my bed was a mess so i changed it 

im gonna have a shower now
sit with Oz and go bed
tomorrow i am doing bugger all and pleasing no one!!!
so worn out!!
but its good ^^
jack knew i was seeing ed today but wasnt mad or jealous :)
but sadly i cant see him til sunday >< 

Sugar Rush

Evening~

I got about 5 hours sleep
got up in the night cus god i ached

this morning I rang up pain clinic
ive been put on a waiting list for an appointment
could take some time...great

i did some dancing and went for a shower
went to shops with mum
went chemist for drugs XD
came home got ready to go out
had lunch went out

got to jack's and i brought with me strawberries and chocolate
and the sweets i brought for him
we started walking to the board game cafe and he said
"i have board games at home cant we play those and eat strawberries?"
so yeah i gave in we turned round
we played draughts which i lost at surprise surprise
then we ate strawberries
we got through a whole box and a whole bar of white chocolate
it sent me up the wall
literally had a sugar rush 
and he saw it...he couldnt stop laughing he thought it was great
i felt sick at first then the sugar rush hit, couldnt keep still
i had full circulation in my body and could even feel my heart beat
both of which never happen with me im like a corpse

eventually it wore down
and i kept warm in his bed but i did smell of him afterwards
left his and came in, ate then rushed straight out again
was only home half hour 
went to tara's
sat and talked with her and laughed with her
listening to her confess im her best friend and that when she gets married she'd like me as a bridesmaid *0* but thats if she has a UK wedding as shes tempted to get it done abroad but we shall see. James has a long blow torch outside and i said "i want a go" he was burning weeds
he didnt let me have ago. strange hes let me have a go with an axe and sledge hammer but has drawn the line at fire XD

i left and came home and showered as i felt dirty after being out and on the go all day
so its 9pm and ive come on my laptop for my diary
now im gonna sit with Oz wind down and do my nails

not sure what tomorrow will bring
im so damn tired
i have no idea how i keep going all day and give everyone my best energy

Derby by myself~

Evening~~

ahhh so shattered -_____-

so yesterday I didnt get home til 9:45pm and i could not be bothered
to do my diary at such hour

Yesterday I danced in the morning then i showered and got ready to see jack
i had an early lunch then set off really

We went and did his chores round the city centre
he needed to go back to his family's home and i said i'd drive him
and then he said he wanted to bring a load of stuff back with him
i told him its fine as i have a car after all
and to repay he said he wanted to do dinner for me
so he cooked gammon in cider and did some sweet potato with it

i got to see his family's home - where he grew up
i met his cat - queenie and the two bunnies - skyla and thumper
oh my god they were so cute like stupidly cute especially thumper
i didnt hold them as they were a bit skittish and i didnt want to frighten them
so we came back and did dinner
then we sat with Theo a bit then we went and talked on his bed
he asked if i was ok cus i seemed a bit out of it
but then i had only had 3 and half hours sleep
it was an incredibly long night of pain so yeah i was just done in really
i got home later than intended but still sat with Oz as i didnt want him to feel left out
i had god awful stomach pains too
seems everytime lately i eat lunch or dinner i have stomach ache
just dont want to eat

this morning think i achieved 5 and a half hours sleep
i did some dancing then i got ready to go out
i was going to derby today by myself
just for some bits really

i got to derby around 11ish
i went round loads of shops but didnt see much actually
i ended up buying a coat from a charity shop for £2.49 as i was so damn cold
and it was making me ache
i got a hoodie too whilst i was there
got Oz some treats from a pet store i havent seen before, tropical flavour so im gonna see if he likes them tonight
i got some mini straightners from charity shop for £2.99
there was an old sweet store and we no longer have one in our city and jack has such a fondness for them so i picked him a load of stuff - all pink and girly looking sweets XD ill surprise him with those next time i see him
a few dvd's for my dad for his birthday next week which is a good job done
i went derby in the hope the nail varnish market store will have what i wanted but it had gone!!! D: i was so gutted to lose that shop
i stopped for a hot chocolate but it wasnt great but i just needed something to warm me up
i picked up some joggers for running in for £5
and finally some fur to make a molly toy with at some point as mum has requested it
just drinking the hot chocolate gave me stomach ache so i chose not to eat whilst i was out as i didnt want to make it worse
i caught the bus back to my fair city and finally got home about 3:30pm
i was shattered
think id basically burned off more calories than ive taken in recently
so i got into my pajamas and went to bed after having a brew with mum and Oz of course


just so worn out
im dark under my eyes too
i cant think or do anything and literally waiting for bed time to come round

tomorrow not 100% sure on the day yet
originally jack had asked me if i wanted to try a board game cafe literally across the road from where he lives, and maybe eat sweet stuff
then im suppose to be seeing tara in the evening but not heard from her

Fruits Basket

Yo~~~

I've been awake since 4:30am!
I had a rough night of tossing a turning
when I woke up at 4:30am my head was far too busy
so with that and achy i knew I had no chance of sleeping so I got up
but crawled into bed at 6am not that I slept but i didnt want to wake anyone

I did 20mins of yoga
then went for a run at 9:15am
i took the long route through the woods
running through scaring the wildlife like a wild dog XD
good tho
and i wasnt too worn out ether
i came in and showered

Then mia text me to say i could go over for a brew
we had a brew and then she said the new Fruits Basket had come out
the original had first aired in 2001 shocking
just how long have i been watching anime anyway!?
so we watched that together which was nostalgic and also we used to watch anime
together all the time after school and we havent watched anime together
for many many years so that was nice
i left hers at 1:30pm
i was glad to leave as my stomach hurt
just endless stomach issues i feel as of late 

i made a salad and went to sleep after id eaten
i just needed to catch up on sleep really
then ive been drawing
after watching some Chrono Crusade with jack it has made me want to draw a picture of Chrono so ive mad a good start anyway

tomorrow think im seeing jack
hes got to return to his parent's house to feed the pets 
so he said i could go with him as hes got 2 bunnies :3 

painting my nails tonight ^^