Evening
So yesterday I snuck off out to jack's X3
I arrived just after 10am at his flat
it was good to see him and be re-united with my companion
we went and sat with Theo and then went for a good walk as it was nice
when we came back it was kinda lunch time and cus it was easter sunday
and Jack had been and brought a shed load of chocolate eggs for us both
we decided to have chocolate for lunch XD
we sat and played on switchs for a bit
we talked and messed around
we made dinner together which was nice
the three of us settled down in front of an anime film
it was 2 hours long but we turned it off after half hour as it was just grim
about reanimating corpses
and i said to jack "i already dream this kinda stuff, im not sure i should watch this before bed..."
he was like "im not enjoying it, shall we turn it off?"
so we did and i asked to put something on that makes us laugh
so we watched rick and morty
then we went played switchs in bed
the evening i felt a little off as my brother was sending me messages about how unhappy he was at home, he'd been crying on the phone to his girlfriend - dad had upset him
i feel bad for him as i know he i desperate to move out he just cant afford it :/
so i was messaging him but then i went to sleep
in the morning i woke next to jack in just his boxers...
i said "where are your clothes?"
he said "you undressed me in your sleep"
i said "yeah sure id do that"
he said he had gotten too hot and got up to undress, but i never noticed that happened...
he said "you were gone, and cuddling flump, it was very cute to see"
damn him, getting looks at me whilst i sleep >.>
we cuddled in bed for a good hour which was nice, just spending time in each others company
we had hot cross buns for breakfast which was really good
then we went back to bed as i wanted to play on my switch
we fell asleep together
then got up for a shower and i had a bath
had lunch
then went for a walk with theo
then i had to depart from him :( sadly for a few more weeks....
sucks balls man
gonna be long
i wanted to make the most of being with him
he was always round me and i felt like we touched so much
like he wanted to make the most of me also
it was nice he had brought chocolate tho, i have eaten so much chocolate!
im gonna miss him
he's given me Flump again to look after ^^
i came back at 5pm and sat with my Oz and had a brew with him
he had such a face on him when i saw him
and mum said he'd been in a mood...
but he was soon licking me when i sat with him i think i cheered him up
and he even played out afterwards, mum said he'd not played out since this morning
happy to have me back i think!
then i had dinner, mum made a cake so i had that too....too much food and sugar
now i might do some dance learning or stretches or something
then sit with Oz again and go to my own bed
it was good to see Jack tho
god knows when we will next meet :/
Monday, 13 April 2020
Saturday, 11 April 2020
Inu x Boku Manga drawing
Evening~
I was awake til gone 1am
and woke up at 9:30am...woops
I was having quite and intense dream tho
I was helping some sort of spirit/ghost that wanted to host inside a body
a dead body
dead bodies he'd been stashing when he was alive
so i had to go round finding these bodies in the most strangest and creepiest of places
kept me interested tho, which is why i slept in so late! but a good solid 8 hours sleep was much appreciated anyway ^^
this morning I was going to do some dancing but dad came home at 11am :/
so that went out the window, instead i managed to get mum to come for a walk with me
we went round the country park it was nice
and just starting to get warm as it has been reaching 20c past few days
i came back and did 20mins of yoga and my physio exercises then had a shower
and had my lunch then i worked on my pumpkin patchwork as whilst i had been out on a walk the postman had delivered 1 out of the 3 fabrics id ordered so it meant i could crack on with it
but i struggled getting my 15" patchwork ruler out and i ended up breaking it TT^TT
my god i was gutted like really gutted
ive had it years and it was a gift from mum whilst i was studying patchwork
i had to order another one which was £21....ouch
to say it is literally a piece of plastic and costs that much
i will have to find a better place to store it obviously
still i got as far as i could with my pumpkin patchwork
then i did some cross stitch
then i played on my switch then i dosed off for half hour
then cooked the first bbq of the year, everyone appreciates it when i cook as dad charcoals it
now i might just draw for half hour before i sit with Oz and go bed
i have sat with Oz and the girls today
he just sat whilst they pigged into apple
then i watched tillie and truffle groom molly
they love their mummy mole its very sweet
oh here is something i did last week, i did it because i wanted to but then decided i might give it jack for his birthday in august. its a page i have drawn from the manga inu x boku which we both like, so i drew it and used water colours and fine liner to copy the page basically. i think its in proportion and came out ok. i decided to use colour for the eyes tho so it wouldnt look totally like a manga page.
then i brought a frame for it, its A4. i hope he will like it and that its good enough to give as a gift.
tomorrow I am sneaking off to jack's for 1 night
i cant wait to see him, and even theo too
i need different company and i need to get out as my mental health is slipping
i think we are still in lock down? but i need this. then i will hole myself away for however longer we need to lock our selves down for...
I was awake til gone 1am
and woke up at 9:30am...woops
I was having quite and intense dream tho
I was helping some sort of spirit/ghost that wanted to host inside a body
a dead body
dead bodies he'd been stashing when he was alive
so i had to go round finding these bodies in the most strangest and creepiest of places
kept me interested tho, which is why i slept in so late! but a good solid 8 hours sleep was much appreciated anyway ^^
this morning I was going to do some dancing but dad came home at 11am :/
so that went out the window, instead i managed to get mum to come for a walk with me
we went round the country park it was nice
and just starting to get warm as it has been reaching 20c past few days
i came back and did 20mins of yoga and my physio exercises then had a shower
and had my lunch then i worked on my pumpkin patchwork as whilst i had been out on a walk the postman had delivered 1 out of the 3 fabrics id ordered so it meant i could crack on with it
but i struggled getting my 15" patchwork ruler out and i ended up breaking it TT^TT
my god i was gutted like really gutted
ive had it years and it was a gift from mum whilst i was studying patchwork
i had to order another one which was £21....ouch
to say it is literally a piece of plastic and costs that much
i will have to find a better place to store it obviously
still i got as far as i could with my pumpkin patchwork
then i did some cross stitch
then i played on my switch then i dosed off for half hour
then cooked the first bbq of the year, everyone appreciates it when i cook as dad charcoals it
now i might just draw for half hour before i sit with Oz and go bed
i have sat with Oz and the girls today
he just sat whilst they pigged into apple
then i watched tillie and truffle groom molly
they love their mummy mole its very sweet
oh here is something i did last week, i did it because i wanted to but then decided i might give it jack for his birthday in august. its a page i have drawn from the manga inu x boku which we both like, so i drew it and used water colours and fine liner to copy the page basically. i think its in proportion and came out ok. i decided to use colour for the eyes tho so it wouldnt look totally like a manga page.
then i brought a frame for it, its A4. i hope he will like it and that its good enough to give as a gift.
tomorrow I am sneaking off to jack's for 1 night
i cant wait to see him, and even theo too
i need different company and i need to get out as my mental health is slipping
i think we are still in lock down? but i need this. then i will hole myself away for however longer we need to lock our selves down for...
Friday, 10 April 2020
Bunny Rabbit Patchwork done!
Evening
Jo was up til 5am
head was far too busy and noisy
i got up at 4am in the end and played on my switch for an hour
came to bed and could hear the birds doing the morning chorus...good start
theyre waking up and im going to bed
woke up at 8am
I could have turned over and gone back to sleep but I hate wasting the day
but also i knew mum wanted to go for a walk in the morning so i got up for her also
we went for a walk round the usual
glad we didnt do a big walk as i was struggling to breathe due to hayfever
chest was so damn tight
wasnt coughing tho which is good
i came back and did 40 mins of yoga and then had a shower
then spoke to jack
he seemed alright, nether of us have a great deal to say really
but i was cuddling Flump during the whole phone call to annoy jack as he could see Flump XD
then i had some lunch and went to bed for a couple of hours
i was shattered and felt better for it
when i got up i quilted my blanket and got it finished
took it outside for photos, so here it is
backed onto a bunny fleece blanket
jack is pleased with it, its going on our sofa when we move out
then didnt do much else
played on my switch and talked to my brother for a bit
sat with Oz a couple of times, and the girls
put truffs with Oz, she was stressing him out and she kept almost kissing him he growled a few times but was submissive the whole time to her XD no aggression in him what so ever
might do a bit more of my picture then sit with Oz
tomorrow probably exercise and drawing
as i havent got my fabric in the post yet
apparently the postal service is over worked but im not complaining im grateful theyre still even working. it just means i cant work on the cushion
Jo was up til 5am
head was far too busy and noisy
i got up at 4am in the end and played on my switch for an hour
came to bed and could hear the birds doing the morning chorus...good start
theyre waking up and im going to bed
woke up at 8am
I could have turned over and gone back to sleep but I hate wasting the day
but also i knew mum wanted to go for a walk in the morning so i got up for her also
we went for a walk round the usual
glad we didnt do a big walk as i was struggling to breathe due to hayfever
chest was so damn tight
wasnt coughing tho which is good
i came back and did 40 mins of yoga and then had a shower
then spoke to jack
he seemed alright, nether of us have a great deal to say really
but i was cuddling Flump during the whole phone call to annoy jack as he could see Flump XD
then i had some lunch and went to bed for a couple of hours
i was shattered and felt better for it
when i got up i quilted my blanket and got it finished
took it outside for photos, so here it is
backed onto a bunny fleece blanket
jack is pleased with it, its going on our sofa when we move out
then didnt do much else
played on my switch and talked to my brother for a bit
sat with Oz a couple of times, and the girls
put truffs with Oz, she was stressing him out and she kept almost kissing him he growled a few times but was submissive the whole time to her XD no aggression in him what so ever
might do a bit more of my picture then sit with Oz
tomorrow probably exercise and drawing
as i havent got my fabric in the post yet
apparently the postal service is over worked but im not complaining im grateful theyre still even working. it just means i cant work on the cushion
Thursday, 9 April 2020
almost done bunny quilt
Konbanwa~~
Couldnt sleep
didnt fall asleep til gone 1:30am :/
woke up around 8am
This morning me and mum went for a walk
we did a big walk round a country park we can walk to from the house, they have shut the car parks to it so it was really empty it was nice
we came back and had a brew
she then very kindly dyed my hair, my hair had gone light but i fancied just making it fresh and shiny and soft. I picked medium ash blond. i am shocked how dark it has gone!
im fine with it as its soft and shiny now but just darker
then i had a shower
i had some lunch and then went to bed
i was tired and had been in really bad pain all day so i needed escapism
when i got up i worked on my quilt
i have attached the patchwork to the blanket all that is left to do is to quilt it
but i wasnt in the mood to do it, so i will start it tomorrow
I spoke to mia on the phone for half an hour again
basically an old child hood friend we've known for 20 years or so ditched us a couple of years back but got in contact with us both and i said i wanted nothing to do with her but mia contacted her and told her she doesnt want friendship anymore (in a kind way) and got it thrown in her face. so i was glad i hadnt bothered to respond to the message. mia is done now, she wasnt upset or anything she was just filling me in.
Oz was in a bit of a mood with me, but turns out he had tummy ache bless him
i dont think he's 100% now but im sure he will be ok
i know what it is, its a food sometimes i buy by mistake and it doesnt agree with him
im gonna try my new physio exercises today
i havent spoken to jack today
he did an all nighter last night as he couldnt sleep so just didnt
guessing hes tired as ive hardly heard from him today
i shall let him get on with it
i got disgaea4 in the post and it came with a poster and book mark
tomorrow
i shall be quilting and doing my drawing
same old
Couldnt sleep
didnt fall asleep til gone 1:30am :/
woke up around 8am
This morning me and mum went for a walk
we did a big walk round a country park we can walk to from the house, they have shut the car parks to it so it was really empty it was nice
we came back and had a brew
she then very kindly dyed my hair, my hair had gone light but i fancied just making it fresh and shiny and soft. I picked medium ash blond. i am shocked how dark it has gone!
im fine with it as its soft and shiny now but just darker
then i had a shower
i had some lunch and then went to bed
i was tired and had been in really bad pain all day so i needed escapism
when i got up i worked on my quilt
i have attached the patchwork to the blanket all that is left to do is to quilt it
but i wasnt in the mood to do it, so i will start it tomorrow
I spoke to mia on the phone for half an hour again
basically an old child hood friend we've known for 20 years or so ditched us a couple of years back but got in contact with us both and i said i wanted nothing to do with her but mia contacted her and told her she doesnt want friendship anymore (in a kind way) and got it thrown in her face. so i was glad i hadnt bothered to respond to the message. mia is done now, she wasnt upset or anything she was just filling me in.
Oz was in a bit of a mood with me, but turns out he had tummy ache bless him
i dont think he's 100% now but im sure he will be ok
i know what it is, its a food sometimes i buy by mistake and it doesnt agree with him
im gonna try my new physio exercises today
i havent spoken to jack today
he did an all nighter last night as he couldnt sleep so just didnt
guessing hes tired as ive hardly heard from him today
i shall let him get on with it
i got disgaea4 in the post and it came with a poster and book mark
tomorrow
i shall be quilting and doing my drawing
same old
Wednesday, 8 April 2020
Slept again and got the eyes done
Evening
I slept! took me til about midnight but i slept through til 8am! woo!!
so yeah that was good ^^
this morning i danced for half hour til i was sweaty
then showered and mum and my brother came home with a week's worth of shopping so i helped unpack that
then went on my laptop for a bit
bathed my girlies
made soup
went for a walk with mum
spoke to jack
my fabric for the quilt arrived today so i was able to add the border to that finally
all thats left is to sew it to the blanket and quilt it!
did some drawing
just got the outline of the tea cup done and the eyes
spoke to mia
now im gonna see my Ozwald
tomorrow i will be quilting my quilt!
I slept! took me til about midnight but i slept through til 8am! woo!!
so yeah that was good ^^
this morning i danced for half hour til i was sweaty
then showered and mum and my brother came home with a week's worth of shopping so i helped unpack that
then went on my laptop for a bit
bathed my girlies
made soup
went for a walk with mum
spoke to jack
my fabric for the quilt arrived today so i was able to add the border to that finally
all thats left is to sew it to the blanket and quilt it!
did some drawing
just got the outline of the tea cup done and the eyes
spoke to mia
now im gonna see my Ozwald
tomorrow i will be quilting my quilt!
Tuesday, 7 April 2020
got my coaster ideas finally!
Evening
Jo did not get to sleep til 3am...
couldnt switch off
its strange but when i listen to the house there is no noise, maybe the odd sound from my family sleeping but apart from that, no sound. yet in my, the noise. its relentless
so many thoughts and voices
it is going to drive me mad one day
i woke up at 7am and thought "you can forget it" rolled over and woke up at 9am
6 hours sleep isnt too bad
today it was starting out to be a warm day rather quickly
and i felt like going for a walk in the morning rather than afternoon
and i was just about to announce that to mum when she came out and said the same thing!
so we went for a morning walk and walked deep into the woods
it was good actually
then i came back and showered and had a brew
i was hoping for fabric to come in the post
sadly it did not
but what did come in the post was my new camera battery and so far it seems to work fine
so i can actually record dances now without it dying!
i cleaned my room which i meant to do yesterday but totally forgot
so i changed my bed, dusted my room, hoovered up
all tidy ^^
i didnt fall asleep today so im hoping i sleep tonight
i spoke to jack he looked tired
he said he was up til 3am gaming then couldnt sleep and woke up at 12:30
i said it never seems fair that he is up by choice at that time playing with his mates and such whereas i am up at that time simply cus im in pain and or cant turn off mentally and im alone
always always alone at night
he hasnt been doing a great deal with himself
i said i would really really like to see him sunday as its easter so dad is home sunday AND monday and whats more mum is on about getting him to do some DIY, some decorating...thats just asking for it. i cant cope with that - i never can. so i will try and escape to jack's of course the lock down will hopefully be over with but who knows im still tempted to go over as i think i will crack
i struggled to think of ideas for coasters i want to draw and get printed/made
i looked and then i had a random idea
seeing as jack wasnt helping me with any ideas i thought "make em crazy cute"
so im doing some proper loli/moe/kawaii coasters
all girls and all drinking tea
i told him and i think he is ok with it actually
he has no choice XD gonna be sickly cute
i started the outline of the first one - i have 4 to do in total
just need to draw her tea cup in front of her mouth
something i am not used to drawing i have to say so it will be a new challenge for me
i might have a quick run through of the dances im learning right now tonight as its 8:30pm
i will then see my lad who is sulking as i keep kicking him out the shed
i did sit outside with him today and brought him in for a brew
he gets love X3
tomorrow i hope fabric will come to be honest it is said to arrive tomorrow and thursday so we shall see which out of the 4 pieces ordered will actually come!
if not i will continue with my drawing
i am gonna dance in the morning as my family are out
dad working
and mum and brother are going for the weekly food shop
i have to stay home >.>
need a change of scenery so badly
anyway i cant complain as others have it far worse than me
i think id be fine if i wasnt mentally ill
its that which is getting to me right now
cus im stressed and not handling it its making my pain worse
when im suffering the voices become louder
we all wish for normality again
Jo did not get to sleep til 3am...
couldnt switch off
its strange but when i listen to the house there is no noise, maybe the odd sound from my family sleeping but apart from that, no sound. yet in my, the noise. its relentless
so many thoughts and voices
it is going to drive me mad one day
i woke up at 7am and thought "you can forget it" rolled over and woke up at 9am
6 hours sleep isnt too bad
today it was starting out to be a warm day rather quickly
and i felt like going for a walk in the morning rather than afternoon
and i was just about to announce that to mum when she came out and said the same thing!
so we went for a morning walk and walked deep into the woods
it was good actually
then i came back and showered and had a brew
i was hoping for fabric to come in the post
sadly it did not
but what did come in the post was my new camera battery and so far it seems to work fine
so i can actually record dances now without it dying!
i cleaned my room which i meant to do yesterday but totally forgot
so i changed my bed, dusted my room, hoovered up
all tidy ^^
i didnt fall asleep today so im hoping i sleep tonight
i spoke to jack he looked tired
he said he was up til 3am gaming then couldnt sleep and woke up at 12:30
i said it never seems fair that he is up by choice at that time playing with his mates and such whereas i am up at that time simply cus im in pain and or cant turn off mentally and im alone
always always alone at night
he hasnt been doing a great deal with himself
i said i would really really like to see him sunday as its easter so dad is home sunday AND monday and whats more mum is on about getting him to do some DIY, some decorating...thats just asking for it. i cant cope with that - i never can. so i will try and escape to jack's of course the lock down will hopefully be over with but who knows im still tempted to go over as i think i will crack
i struggled to think of ideas for coasters i want to draw and get printed/made
i looked and then i had a random idea
seeing as jack wasnt helping me with any ideas i thought "make em crazy cute"
so im doing some proper loli/moe/kawaii coasters
all girls and all drinking tea
i told him and i think he is ok with it actually
he has no choice XD gonna be sickly cute
i started the outline of the first one - i have 4 to do in total
just need to draw her tea cup in front of her mouth
something i am not used to drawing i have to say so it will be a new challenge for me
i might have a quick run through of the dances im learning right now tonight as its 8:30pm
i will then see my lad who is sulking as i keep kicking him out the shed
i did sit outside with him today and brought him in for a brew
he gets love X3
tomorrow i hope fabric will come to be honest it is said to arrive tomorrow and thursday so we shall see which out of the 4 pieces ordered will actually come!
if not i will continue with my drawing
i am gonna dance in the morning as my family are out
dad working
and mum and brother are going for the weekly food shop
i have to stay home >.>
need a change of scenery so badly
anyway i cant complain as others have it far worse than me
i think id be fine if i wasnt mentally ill
its that which is getting to me right now
cus im stressed and not handling it its making my pain worse
when im suffering the voices become louder
we all wish for normality again
Monday, 6 April 2020
Done like bugger all
Yo
I took a fair few tablets last night
it took me til 1am to sleep i didnt get up i just laid there i couldnt switch off once again
bit of a pattern to this isnt there
I woke up at 7am but turned over and went back to sleep luckily
but didnt wake up til almost 9am....
Oz has been playing outside today as we have had another nice day
we sat with the girls and i did their claws with mum
my god tillie was so mardy anyone would think i was clipping her paws not claws
jesus XD got to be done my tills
I attempted some dancing this morning but only managed 15 mins
just felt so done in and tired for some reason so i didnt want to push it
i had a shower and played on my switch
fell asleep for 2 hours
then went for a walk with mum
came back and looked for some inspiration to draw
but i looked for ages and nothing really jumped out at me
i dont think i was totally in the mood to draw today
i felt like what ever i would draw would be ether rubbish or meaningless
i did 15 mins of yoga half hearted
nothing has held my interest today really
everything i thought about doing i couldnt be bothered to actually do
i found myself after dinner just listening to my ipod on my bed
just didnt want to do anything
im sure i will be back on form tomorrow
im hoping this time next week i can reunited with jack X3
he texted me at 7pm to ask if we could speak but i had bad stomach ache from eating my dinner so i didnt txt him back cus i wasnt sure when id be finished with dying and i wasnt in the mood to talk ether really. i shall speak with him tomorrow
i told him i have done nothing all day which to this he asked what was wrong as i never do nothing XD
im aching like crazy today which seems really unfai considering how much exercise i actually do do. so im dreading tonight in a way
i had a weird dream last night were i was getting a tattoo, didnt even know what tattoo just that i wanted it on my stomach. the guy was getting the needles ready and i was thinking "i cant have my stomach felt by anyone and when they do i tense like crazy, how am i suppose to get a tattoo there?" so when the guy wasnt looking i ran off, i dreamed this when i turned over at 7am XD
tomorrow
my god i am hoping some fabric comes in the post for me
need something to do!
I took a fair few tablets last night
it took me til 1am to sleep i didnt get up i just laid there i couldnt switch off once again
bit of a pattern to this isnt there
I woke up at 7am but turned over and went back to sleep luckily
but didnt wake up til almost 9am....
Oz has been playing outside today as we have had another nice day
we sat with the girls and i did their claws with mum
my god tillie was so mardy anyone would think i was clipping her paws not claws
jesus XD got to be done my tills
I attempted some dancing this morning but only managed 15 mins
just felt so done in and tired for some reason so i didnt want to push it
i had a shower and played on my switch
fell asleep for 2 hours
then went for a walk with mum
came back and looked for some inspiration to draw
but i looked for ages and nothing really jumped out at me
i dont think i was totally in the mood to draw today
i felt like what ever i would draw would be ether rubbish or meaningless
i did 15 mins of yoga half hearted
nothing has held my interest today really
everything i thought about doing i couldnt be bothered to actually do
i found myself after dinner just listening to my ipod on my bed
just didnt want to do anything
im sure i will be back on form tomorrow
im hoping this time next week i can reunited with jack X3
he texted me at 7pm to ask if we could speak but i had bad stomach ache from eating my dinner so i didnt txt him back cus i wasnt sure when id be finished with dying and i wasnt in the mood to talk ether really. i shall speak with him tomorrow
i told him i have done nothing all day which to this he asked what was wrong as i never do nothing XD
im aching like crazy today which seems really unfai considering how much exercise i actually do do. so im dreading tonight in a way
i had a weird dream last night were i was getting a tattoo, didnt even know what tattoo just that i wanted it on my stomach. the guy was getting the needles ready and i was thinking "i cant have my stomach felt by anyone and when they do i tense like crazy, how am i suppose to get a tattoo there?" so when the guy wasnt looking i ran off, i dreamed this when i turned over at 7am XD
tomorrow
my god i am hoping some fabric comes in the post for me
need something to do!
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