Already fed up of the house

 Evening

I didnt sleep great, I woke up to dad snoring, then jack snoring, then my arm was hyper extending off the bed, I got cold as I lost my blanket. And yeah it just wasnt a good night to be honest

We woke up at 7:30am as my dad wanted to go to the tip at 8:30am as jack's mum was coming at 9am

so I got up with him - reluctantly - but i knew he would want to eat breakfast with me rather than eating alone. So then him and dad went and took more garden waste to the tip. and then went straight to the bungalow. I stayed home as my collection order would be ready between 10-11am at B&Q 

so i pleased myself and did some dancing and yoga as i was very stiff from not doing anything yesterday but it was an effort

mum came with me to collect which I am very happy about as I picked up paint from B&M as well which was cheaper than B&Q as B&Q didnt have my paint in stock. but it was all soo heavy to carry

I got to the bungalow after dropping mum off home, I txted mia who came round bringing me stuff and bringing me the hoover which i asked her this morning if i could collect from her but she brought it all round with rob and the dogs, had a look round the bungalow and then went and took the dogs a walk. she loved the bungalow, feel like everyone loves it but me!

after making jack and his mum a brew and measuring up a few more things i came home as I felt very much at my limit to be honest of what i could handle. i was sick of having to do things and fetch things and think of things. I made lunch and dad took it over to jack and did another tip run with him whilst his mum went home to his sisters for a bit. i went to bed.

mum woke me wanting to do a walk

so i was happy in a warm bed and got thrusted outside in the cold

upon walking down the side pathway of the bungalow we looked up and saw that dad jack and dad's friend bran was in the bungalow, dad waved for us to come in so we walked round. and basically thrust on me that bran has a week off (hes a painter and decorator) and wants to help, what colours do i want the living room, hall and kitchen? just like that i am suppose to know! so i went inside the bungalow with jack and he looked as clueless as ever when it came to this sort of thing. so i made the decisions and ran it by jack but he would be fine with anything. told bran and my dad and then went for a walk with mum like we were doing. we talked about the house - could of guessed we'd talk about that!

i got home and just wanted to be left alone to be honest

i had had enough T^T just everyone leave me alone!

so instead i sat with Oz on the sofa and looked at yet more stuff i have to order! yet more money! thats another £100 gone just like that, and tomorrow I need to buy paint T^T so more money

i couldnt order paint online again tonight so i will go down to B&M and see if they have any paint

dad came home with jack and i made him sit, i made him a cup of tea with brandy in it

i made us beans on toast for dinner as he was meeting him mum round the bungalow at 6pm for wallpaper laying

he later phoned me "i dont have a pencil"

i could cry

he works so slow and is so disorganised im always picking up the pieces

but i guess he is busy and has a lot to think about 

he just is so slow doing anything.

so mum drove me over to the bungalow, pencil in hand, as i looked like death

delivered pencil and came away

its 9pm and he isnt home yet, hes got to shower all the paint and dust off himself yet!

I sat doing some school work at my desk to chill out to for an hour and means i have an hour's less work to do tomorrow, it chilled me out painting baby yoda 

tomorrow we are working from home for the first time ever on an insec day!

so we are gonna do that and do other bits like the bank, and let chris come see the bungalow as he said he would help and there is a lot he can help with to be honest.

got A LOT to do tomorrow, from bank, work, carpet shop, B&M for paint

i want to cry

its all too much 

i dont want the house anymore

just take it away

first 24 of the house

 Konbanwa~

We both slept well

but got up as I knew we had a lot to crack on with

so by 9am my dad had fired the chain saw up and got one his friends to help him

we went over about 9:30am, i didnt even get out my car I just dropped jack off XD

I had an easy morning as I was quite dead to be honest but I went to the corner shop with mum to get bread for lunch and helped but lunch together for the 3 guys

jack hadnt done an awful lot by lunch time due to him being on the phone to his mum then his nan....

But I made him sit and eat lunch and i made them all a hot drink 

just as jack was finishing his coffee his mum and step dad arrived, they wanted the grand tour then my brother turned up who also wanted the grand tour so i did that then he soon sloped off whereas jacks parents stayed and helped clean. jack and his mum took the kitchen and the other 3 men were outside decimating the garden. we have nothing left as sadly the trees were rotten and bushes were dead. so yeah it looks like a grave yard. but needed to be done. its now a blank canvas for mum

i left after 90mins as i could feel the cold seeping in my joints and my stomach knotting up 

so i went home, hoping i didnt look like a lazy, ungrateful selfish brat

i went online after i had measured things up at the bungalow and spent £140 on stuff for the bedroom and a few things for the house we needed

then i went and got warm in my bed

Jack came home and showered and we ordered pizza 

then we looked at stuff to decorate with on B&Q website. we managed to order everything apart from paint. like no paint in stock. its a bit worrying. so im hoping there might be something in store tomorrow i can pick up maybe, if not then i guess we will have to paint at a later state. but at least we have the wallpaper and stuff for now, spent a further £70 online there tho -______-

so i will go down and pick it all up tomorrow at some point in the morning

my dad and jack are going to the tip at 9am to get rid of all the garden waste 

and his mum is coming over to clean for a few hours in the morning as well

so another day to the bungalow, another day i cant really help out

im shattered and just had enough already whereas i should be excited and getting involved but once again my illess likes to make its self known and likes to ruin my life.

the kitchen isnt even fully cleaned yet. everything is taking sooooooooo long

Jack and Jo in da Bungalow

 Evening

I slept well and so did jack actually, probably the brandy in his tea last night XD

This morning i did 25mins of dancing til I was hot and sweaty then went for a shower, then me and jack started to watch some of the videos we are gonna watch on monday just to keep us busy and to save time really, it was really boring and we only watched the first health and safety video as the solicitors rang jack at 10:30am and said we can go get the keys!

so I shouted mum from the top of the stairs and told her to get her stuff together as we were off to get keys and to also get a shed load of cleaning products, mum cleans all the time she loves it and knows what works best and what to get so we took her with us and she drove us to the estate agents and we got the keys and they have an awful key chain on XD then we went wilkos and spent £97 on cleaning products! 0.0 how is that possible!? my mum was loving it. We also got a kitchen bin with all that too as we need one.

we got home at 11:50am and had tea cakes and a brew and biscuit then we drove all the cleaning stuff over to the bungalow

I felt sick if i am honest but mum said it was excitement

I went and put the key in the door and opened the door and made jack carry me over the threshold XD he only just managed it, it was very inelegant but i expect no less from him

we looked round the bungalow, refreshing ourselves with it and assessing it really

the people who owned it and had left us wine, a card, lawn mower, garden equipment, microwave, washer, fridge, sofa, garden ornaments, a bit of cleaning equipment and a note 

it was very lovely of them and i think they appreciate we were first time young buyers so we dont have anything

upon looking around i was feeling quite overwhelmed as i just literally didnt know where to start. everything has like a layer of grim on it like nothing has been cleaned for a very long time. like everything. window frames, light switches, surfaces, tiles, taps, everything

mum said for me and jack to do the kitchen as she wanted to do the bathroom

so i started on the fridge which was grim to be honest i had to take all the shelves out and disinfect everything and wiped down the whole outside too. jack started on the cooker, he thought the glass cover on the top was frosted glass...no it was just layers of grime. yeah its all very unloved and gross

we had all the windows and doors open to air the place as the air is stale

i was getting very cold

and to be honest it all got to me and i cried and jack held me. i was tired, in pain and just done.

mum saw and straight away was like "taking you home"

but i felt like i was giving in, i wasnt able to keep up and only managed to clean a small fridge

she said "it is not worth making yourself sick, things will get done when they get done. every little thing helps so what you have done has helped. we will just do a bit each time"

so she left jack there and drove me home were i got wrapped up, dosed up with pain killers and went to bed. i felt useless and didnt want think or feel

jack later woke me up and i was glad he was home and he was smiling but the smile soon vanished when he realised how dead i was. my body was weak and shaking. and i looked like death.

yeah not good

he told me his mum is coming on saturday and i cried as i worried that i might be able to help, its frustrating and if i can manage to even clean a house how will i be able to even live without the help of my parents!? if i can not help tomorrow and end up going home to rest, what will others think? will the think i am lazy or disinterested or ungrateful?

yeah i wasnt happy

i should be happy

i have a house, something i never thought would happen

but im just overwhelmed by it all

but i am also sure that we will do this

jack is supporting me all the way

my dad and brother maybe will come tomorrow, dad is rearing to go XD hes even taken the day off work something he NEVER does.

i hope tomorrow goes well for us

so yeah we are officially home owners

jack has been sorting out all the bills bless him

i cut his hair for him tonight so he looks tidy for when his mum sees him tomorrow, cant let her think im not looking after her baby boy XD

i am looking forward to decorating tho, i will take photos but today was just full on and i didnt get my chance.

I'll be a home owner tomorrow

 Evening~~~~

I didn't sleep well last night, a certain someone who will remain unnamed was snoring >.>

but he was tired yesterday so I didnt wake him and just tried to sleep but the noise of it kept waking me up! I woke up at 4am and was pretty much awake from then on. By 5:40am i was up, i'd had enough of waiting for the alarm to go off and I had stomach ache too.

two mornings in a row Ive had upset stomach T^T

Today at work I feel it was painfully slow

just time went slow and I was so tired and exhausted so it felt like it took 10x more effort just to move my body around the school

I got everything done tho and did some extra bits I have wanted to do but just wanted to go home the day was such a slog but we got nice comments upon leaving  like "good luck tomorrow" 

We got home and had a brew with Oz and mum, I was gonna dance but dad came home early! urgh what were the chances of that happening >.> I was well annoyed so I decided to go a walk and jack kindly came with me :)

we got back and jack started looking at house insurance and other housey bill crap stuff and had a shower and then worked on my drawing for the first time all god damn week!

so this time tomorrow I will be a house owner

bit hard to fully appreciate or comprehend 

and is incredibly daunting 

jack is much more excited about it all

i am just overwhelmed and wonder what the hell i have got myself in for

but we have had loads of support and people saying they will help

so we shall see what the next chapter will be~

so tired -_______________-

Paid for the bungalow

 Nyaw~

I slept better last night but jack didnt sleep so well, he said he caught me one time scratching myself in my sleep and stopped me. I do that when I am stressed I know I do but I didnt know  I was scratching last night. I got up at 4am for a wee and a drink and to blow my nose - - needed the full works at 4am XD then woke up at 5:50am and got up

School was ok 

I was a bit stressed as I knew all the money for the house was in my account and needed to be paid into the solicitors account before 1pm. I was so stressed and fuzzy headed that I told jack at 9am I wanted to go to the bank now and do it. Just to get it out the way and to stop thinking about it. he didnt argue and just came with me. wasnt until after I had driven and started walking towards the bank did i think "the bank opens at 10am" we got there and yup 10am

so i had to drive back to school, work, drive back to the bank and hour later

we were almost an hour in the bank as we had to wait to be seen to and then doing the transfer took a while as they have to make sure none of it is fraud related

but I did it and they said it will take about 90mins for the money to transfer

we got back to school and I quickly had to get a practical ready and I did manage it. 

luckily we had brought a cake and i was able to top up my sugar levels as i felt practically faint, i was so shaky and weak. i rang my bank after lunch and the money has left my account so thats all done and we let the solicitor and estate agents know that we had transfer them the money

we finished school and had a brew with Oz, after which i did 45mins of yoga and Oz sat there the whole time on the sofa by himself just dropping in and out of sleep bless him X3 so he was out on the sofa for like 90mins and no toilet accidents. just lazy that bunny

i helped a bit with dinner

than after dinner i sat talking with jack about stuff like understanding life and will i get bored, what more is there to achieve, what is next, where do i go from here, whats my next goal

he is able to calm my thoughts and see things in a different perspective

sadly no time for drawing tonight even tho i probably had some concentration for it too! T^T i just tun out of time for my own life on a weekday its so sad. its 8:10pm and i have got to go get my lunch prepared for tomorrow, see Oz and then go to bed >.>

still last day of school tomorrow as we have permission to have friday off! woo! its bloody needed!

nothing more i can do now apart from wait for the keys on friday~

ending is in sight

 Evening~

I couldnt sleep at all, I did however try to sleep IN my bed last night as apposed to sleeping ON it. As thats how I have been sleeping for the last few weeks and I did manage the night in my bed but I kept waking up simply cus I was about falling off the bed! it is so difficult in the end I woke jack up saying hes got to move as I am slipping off the bed

I woke up at 4:30am and kinda just waited til morning really and got up at 5:40am as I had enough

Oz was such a grouch this morning tho! woke up on the wrong side of the bed himself I think XD and all day he has been in mood which isnt like him

School was hard as I had 2 practicals first and second period, the beetroot prac. its hard work and I helped the students clear it up  too and then I had shed loads of washing up. it makes 2 full bowls of washing up. so many cuvettes and test tubes T^T I did some of Julia's washing up too for her

My mum had the job of transferring me her money and in the end she rang me and i video called her so i could talk her through sending her bank information so i could have her money basically. But it didnt work the first time so she rang me back 2 hours later it needed to be done differently and she was so stressed bless her so i talked her through it again and yeah she wasnt happy just cus she was home alone doing this massive thing by herself

I got home and hugged mum and she was happy to see me

she made me and jack a brew and we sat with Ozwald who was still grumpy for whatever reason then me and mum went for a walk i could not be arsed to even keep my eyes open never mind a sodding walk i was sooo tired been tired all day, life just feels like an endurance test. i keep feeling dizzy and my heart is erratic at times. but i know all should calm down once we have the keys 

i fell asleep for 20mins after dinner, mum woke me up and she asked if i would check my bank account to see if things had progressed and they had so tomorrow me and jack are going to the bank in the morning to transfer money and pay for bungalow and then we are done, well should be as this is literally the last bit i feel i can finally see some sort of ending in sight. I am dead nervous tho, this is biggest amount of money i will ever sign away and probably wont see again, but it will be worth it i am sure.

so thats tomorrow, work - bank - back to work - home - die 

still no money

 Evening~

Didn't sleep great, I woke up at midnight after having a nightmare of being chased through fields and once I woke up I was sweaty and got up for a wee and climbed back into my small portion of my bed T^T

We got ready for school pretty early as I started my day at 5:40am - i get earlier -_____-

School went fine it was a bit tiring

I rang the bank up to see if my money had been transferred but no such luck, mum' hasnt been transferred ether, it might be that friday doesnt happen :/ need that money done and dusted by tomorrow or wednesday morning at the latest

I didnt want to go home

I didnt want to talk about the house, or the fact the money hadnt gone in. or anything house related. but luckily i think people sensed that and didnt talk to me about it, and i voiced how i felt.

Oz has a bit of an off tummy from his injection yesterday bless him, hes ok tho he is eating. we sat with him after school with a brew then i motivated myself for a walk and jack came with me and I havent really done much else since then been shattered

tomorrow I have 2 difficult practicals first and second period. I spent 2 hours today corring beetroot for it! I had had enough of doing that I can tell you. But once tomorrow is out the way I dont have to do it again for another year! But the rest of the day doesnt look too bad. just a hard morning. Then I have to ring the bank up again and check if the money has gone in my account to probably only be disappointed. 

so thats tomorrow really