Oz's 4th Birthday

 Evening

I didn't do my diary yesterday, I was just too tired. I had done a lot. Even tho I had worked from home I had done a lot! I had nightmares and didnt sleep well ether. I had to start my day at 7am to go for a shower in a about a 1 degree bathroom. as the tiles and plaster has been ripped off to its left some open holes round the window frame where you can hear and feel cold air coming in. It was -2c outside and the heating had not been on and the radiator is antient in there and does bugger all. I was f'ing freezing when I came out that shower. So cold.

yesterday I managed to source another tv cabinet so we fetched that and it was only £10, it goes really well in the living room, we really like it. Pleased with it.

Today I couldnt face having another shower in such a cold shower. It was -6c outside and the bathroom was no better so me and Jack decided to take mum up on the offer of washing at her house.

So I sod that and went to go see my Birthday boy!!! My Ozwald turns 4 today!!! :D

I am so so so lucky to have him. I love him so much. He is my life. He is my best friend. Very special bunny, he's like a little dog. He follows you, holds on to your leg when you're near him, always wants to see what youre doing, very affectionate. hes even won my family over as my past rabbits havent cared for anyone but me but Oz likes everyone X3 hes lovely. Loves he girls, and his food.

here is this morning on his birthday

I fussed him but he had no time for me it was like he knew it was his birthday, he was full of beans, had so much to do it was very sweet.

we got our stuff ready to go over to mum's

matt turned up and we ordered the stuff we need but it could take up to 14 days to get here :/

i felt sorry for him that i couldnt give him the things he needed to get on with the bathroom. I told him to take the shower out and he said "but that leaves you without a shower for about a week" i said "matt, mum is down the road we are very lucky to have another shower so close and we wont be showering in there as it is freezing." 

so we left matt to remove the sink, radiator, shower. and the tiles surrounding the area

the electrician, despite turning up last night with his son, did not turn up today. i have reported this to dad. luckily we have more days for the electrics to get done now but thats not the point.

we went over to mum's with Oz and dropped him off whilst we went to B&Q for a switch for matt and a glass cutter for work. We dropped the switch off and went to mum's for a shower. such a lovely warm powerful shower *0* i love it. I actually felt clean after that.

We sat with Oz for an hour on the sofa, did a bit of work whilst sitting with him. He went to sleep

Mum came in and fussed the birthday boy and said she would make a cake later ^^

we had lunch whilst mum went for a walk then we continued working, i have started doing a new display for school, a chemistry teacher asked me to do famous chemists/scientists as anime characters so i made a start with Marie Curie I think her name is

made a decent start I would say :D im not used to drawing victorian scientists so i am quite pleased with my work.

we sat with the girls on our knee and went for a walk which made me ache and sapped my strength as the cold just does. the max temp today was 2c >< so cold 

i decorated Oz's cake, its nothing special but its the thought 

we left mum's and came home with Ozwald.

sat down and I looked at nail art and things, jack put the house right a bit as we had cleared the kitchen - once again - for the electrician.

we had dinner which just involved reheating some pasta from tuesday, gotta love easy dinners!

we watched shana, then jack washed up and went to go and do his gaming. I am just doing my diary. Broke off to do some jobs, wash my face, the whole time with oz. now gonna get a piece of oz birthday cake

enjoy it and then do my nails

tomorrow

no matt and no bathroom. we are gonna drop oz off at mums then go collect my medication then come back to mums and shower then work. might stay there til lunch then come home i dont wanna be there all day if i can help it.

Love you Oz

bring me many more years together with you

you are truly one of my greatest gifts in life

here is tonight

please no more nightmares tonight....

DUST

 Evening

i didnt sleep that well

after last night's announcement i was worrying over work and such as I wasnt really sure what would be happening. I got up and had a bit of a mad rush round and told jack we needed to be leaving at 7:20am-7:25am but cus he faffs we got in the car at half past >.> I dropped my Oz off for day care and drove to work.

we got to work to find next to no body in the car park it was strange, we did have the email last night stating we could work from home if we wanted to and i think the majority of staff chose to work from home. I didnt quite appreciate that children are off school til february half term tho...jeez. thats like 7 weeks away really. What are as technicians suppose to do for 7 weeks without lessons!?

I found school hard, long and boring. I took so many breaks as I was just so exhausted but the trouble with taking breaks is that theyre boring and long and make the day more boring and longer. I got through the day and we even left a bit earlier too. I got some of my star wars display up as well. I havent finished it but I have stuff to work on for it.

we went straight to mum's house for a cup of tea and Oz

we had no idea what the state of affairs was with the house as we were suppose to have an electrician over today and matt - our bathroom person. Mum said both of them had gone home. The electrician for whatever didnt finish and left. Matt discovered the true extent of our issue with our bathroom and said it needs plastering - surprise surprise.

so basically it was safe to go home as it was all up and running still, so we went home. I was thinking of doing a walk whilst it was still light out but once I got back to my car i realised how cold it was and didnt bother as i had been cold all day at work. 

once home did i realise how much dust a new bathroom makes...to say i shut all my doors to prevent dust going everywhere. it literally did nothing. dust is EVERYWHERE.  i took a step away and crawled in a ball on the sofa. my god i need to get  a grip. we are so lucky to be having all this done for us and being to afford it and to get it so quickly. a little dust doesnt hurt anyone. but i think it was the fact that it had gone everywhere. in pen pots, on books, in our cutlery draw, everywhere. Jack bless him just got on with it and did about 4 rounds of washing up so we would have stuff to cook and eat with. I told him i was grateful and that was ok I was just tired and stuff seems worse when youre tired

so we had dinner and cleaned our computers, but jack discovered he could join in with online friends so i left him and video called my mum with Oz :)

then I have come on my laptop and managed to negotiate a different tv cabinet! and its even cheaper at only £10. Its a half hour drive but I am gonna go pick it up tomorrow! then I can hide the cables so Oz wont chew them and be electrocuted!  

tomorrow we have no power or heating or wi-fi or toilet!

so were getting up early, showering, going over to mums. Then we will set off in the morning to this place for this cabinet then spending the rest of the day at mum's cus i will be so stressed with noise and dust at home not to mention no heating will make me ache. So we're working from  home but mum's home XD

i do feel less stressed knowing i havent got the whole week to get through at work

we're home for the rest of the week!

going with the red

 Evening

I slept really quite well to say I would be starting back at school in the morning

I got up earlier for school as my dad told me the electrician was coming over so I needed to prep areas also i didnt trust that my dad wouldnt come and take off more tiles from the bathroom with the power chisel which creates no end of dust. So yeah i had a lot to do and I had the gammon to put on as well. But we got out on time and dropped Oz off for rabbit daycare.

Jack drove to school but his driving was really bad to be honest. He just wasnt on form this morning so i was quite on edge. But somehow we got to school in one piece!

There wasnt as many people in school today as it was an insec day and optional if you could work from home but jack was keen to go into work for whatever reason. The people who had turned up turned up for no other reason than the social aspect of work!

if i am honest I did literally nothing today

i finished a picture and started a title put apart from that i didnt do anything

i kept feeling unwell, my heart was going out of rhythm and i felt dizzy and lightheaded and shivering as it was so damn cold in school. Jack and Julia looked after me tho. despite me moaning how damn unfair it all was. but they said i had done well to even come back today. which is true, i probably was being to hard on myself.

mum txted me saying they were off to B&Q tonight to look at tiles, did i want to come? but i said to her "thought you were going tomorrow? also B&Q's tiles looked boring to me" she said "matt thinks your red/purple tile might be too dark but says if you want to go with it then thats fine" so I told jack and he got the tile page up and we both still liked it but noticed they did a few colour variants

green - looked like victorian toilets

blue - too dark and out of stock

yellow - hideous 

white - looked dirty 

so we liked the red, its actually called violet 

we looked at the website and it said as we're in tier 4 that we cant go instore for a tile but can have a sample sent home. we didnt have the luxury of time to have a tile sent to us so jack rang up asking if we could pick up a tile on our way home today and the store said we could!

so we ordered a  red and a white, purely to see the colours really

but today was the only day we would be able to take a tile home and see it in daylight hours as every other day we get home after dark. And things look  so different in different lights. So we left a bit earlier as we wanted these tiles. So we popped off to there. Just seeing them in real life was different to seeing them on the screen as well. We got home and held them to the walls and turned lights on and off, blinds down and all that and we just love the red. We want to go through with it. I want this house to have colour and personality.  I am daring enough to try these things unlike my parents. 

Then we popped over to mum's for a brew and for Oz, i could tell that she did not like our choice of tile XD but its not her taste so i understood. I probably wont like her bland boring taste. I dont want our house looking like a middle age couple lives here already!

Oz had had a great day at bunny day care, been very busy mum says and seen the girls. so he is happy bunny.

we got home and i did 30 mins of yoga and felt better for it and then i made dinner for me and jack which was good. Then i let jack continue hacking at the tiles with the electric chisel. Dad came over and lend a hand whilst I looked for furniture online as I never got that tv cabinet due to the guy not being able to find it in his storage --______-- so i was disappointed to say the least

now I am gonna relax with Ozwald whilst Jack has a shower.

tomorrow, well who knows about tomorrow! as I was suppose to anxiously be at school but Boris Johnson has just announced schools are off :/ so yeah what am I doing!?

returning to school 2021

 Konbanwa~~

I woke up at 7:45am and went to go get Ozwald out, Jack surprised me by getting up with me on his last lay in before school! I did a bit of dancing after breakfast and then had a shower. Dad came round at 9:15am on the dot with his electrician friend who looked over our electrics and was surprised how bad they were XD he has said that him and his son will come and do our electrics tomorrow which is amazing news as it needs doing.

Me and jack then left to do our weekly food shop

the shop was dead it really was, jack drove back

after we unpacked we sealed up a window outside, then made the soup for the week, had lunch, I cleaned Oz as well. Then once we had eaten lunch I grabbed to tools dad had left us and went to go start removing our bathroom tiles. To discover that who ever had done our crappy budge bathroom had literally tiled over the previous 1980 bathroom -____- so we have 2 layers of sodding tiles to get rid of!!! 

I watched jack take over and was doing it stupidly slow, i said "im going for a walk" when I left it started to rain so I called in my parents house and had a massive rant about my bathroom and how long its gonna take. Dad got up, went to work for a power tool and then went to a hardware store for a part for the power tool then he turned up at our house with this power tool taking chunks out these tiles, tiles were flinging everywhere 0.0 sweet baby jesus the mess, and dust T^T so much mess

but jack had a go with the power tool and said it was the manliness he had ever felt XD i could tell he was enjoying himself. He got a fair bit done too. but we had to clear up as jack needed to shower, and have dinner and then go do his online gaming.

I made his lunch for school and I made dinner as I wasnt allowed to take tiles off. Everyone worried about my joints doing such hard work >.> so i thought i would be the useful house wife XD

then I just did some jobs really whilst Jack gamed and of course played with Ozwald who was excited as ever to come inside. 

Jack has finished up early and said we can watch Inuyasha :D something that i thought wouldnt happen so I am gonna go watch that with him and go to bed

tomorrow 

i return to school after a long absense. I am worried I am anxious but yeah i gotta get on with it i guess. i should be ok. Its insec day so no kids in and might not be many staff members in too. non-uniform anyway. it also is the first rabbit daycare for Ozwald. He will need to get into the routine of going over to mum's in the morning for the day. We then need to sort out when me and jack can shower at mums as we wont be able to use or even have a shower here. ahhhh more stress

A new bathroom next week!?

 Evening

So I went to bed by myself last night, it does suck a bit going to bed by myself but i get on with it. I did drop off fairly quickly. But woke up at 3am aching which sucked. I went to get up for pain killers and Jack was somehow awake so he got up with me which was good of him. We weren't up too long and went back to bed. I woke up at 8:20am and got my Ozwald out.

This morning I had breakfast by myself, again

honestly I had more company back at mum's house!

I gave up waiting for jack to wake up so I did some dancing whilst he was still in bed. Its so strange but I struggle to remember some of the dances i have done hundreds of times. But I still had 20mins of dancing which got me sweaty. I had a shower and then Jack woke up, it was 9:50am by this point.

I said to him "we have that bathroom meeting at 10:30am, so you best be functioning by then"

I went on my laptop whilst he sorted himself out. Then we had the bathroom meeting

it was just about an hour and a half long which was an hour too long for my liking. I struggled to sit and was really aching. Not only that my head was very loud as I was getting more and more annoyed with this designer. I had warned Jack that there is a lot of arrogance in the design industry and he is also a salesman. God he must have thought we were real idiots. telling us he was doing us a deal. He then said "we are transparent, theres no pressure, were not like that" however. he asked for the full payment TODAY i said "i need to go away and think about this and also talk it over with jack and my parents" to which he came back with "how long do you need?" rude. he also said "this offer is only available today. no pressure. really? it really got my back up. Thinking i am an idiot.

not only that but our final quote was £7500....what happened to 'most bathrooms are between £5000-£7000' jesus christ. I wasn not paying that! our bathroom is tiny!!! I could understand if we had chosen the top end stuff and had a giant bathroom but thats not the case.

so as soon as the call ended I got up and went for pain killers 

jack who had been fine the whole meeting unlike me who was being a difficult customer, said "I dont think thats too bad, means you can have a bath and we dont have to do anything"

i was almost too shocked for words

yes it meant we didnt have to source a plumper, electrician, tiler etc but £7500!? really!?

how could he be such an idiot!?

i said "no jack just no. That guy was an arse hole thinking he was doing us a favour. makes me actually sick. i am not giving them my business or money"

we had lunch but I felt really wound up by it all.

I grabbed my winter gear and jack was like "where you off to?" i said "just going to see mum" he said "want me to come?" i said "no its fine" i took off. At this point all i wanted was my sanctuary, my single bed. my safety net.

i headed off home and mum was surprised to see me. I told her how livid i was with everything. she agreed about how much salesmen suck and that they are just doing a job but i wasnt gonna pay that. She said "matt is suppose to be coming over to look at our bathroom today" i was like "oh ok then" dad had already said he would give us their appointment with matt. and literally 10mins after mum told me matt was coming did matt turn up. He assessed my parents bathroom and agreed to come look at my bathroom so i got my shoes on once again and came home with my parents and matt.

Jack wasnt expecting any of this, nether was i. so matt talked to me what could be done. and i told him what the guy at wickes had said and matt was like "no thats not possible" cus some stuff we didnt have the right boiler for or our electrics would need to be changed. I told matt what i wanted whilst dad was there and jack and mum sat talking in the living room. jack was a bit stressed out by it all to be honest. Matt said he could do all we wanted. That I needed to give him guidance on what i wanted and to pick tiles. that easy. he would do the rest! whats more is that he is starting on tuesday!!!!! flipping tuesday!!! none of this waiting 16 week business with wickes. and he said to pay when he is finished! 

amazing. hes done mum and dad's upstairs bathroom so i trust him with my house key and such as he is the son of dad's friend. so yeah all a bit strange how it is has worked out.

i have no idea what it is gonna cost us. but matt is trust worthy, anal, OCD, and likes to get things right, hes also available now.

They all left and I went for a walk with mum, in the snow I might add, to go put flowers on granny's grave. I then started to walk home with mum. I told her I have been stressing about school. My heart goes out of the rhythm when I think too much about school. I have also scratched my legs to the point of bleeding and they were doing so well as well T^T

she said "if you need to go to the doctors for more time off Jo then thats what you need to do"

im just scared of being ill again. So I was tearing up a bit.

I got home and didnt bother going through to jack really. I let him come to me. He hasnt done anything all day. I have been sorting everything out. I talked to him about stuff tho and got upset. Its just school I am stressing about really. 

we had dinner and then I cut Jack's hair for him, after my stomach had subsided that it

i said to him "what does it look like if you shave your beard without the guard?" he said "i havent dont that in years, I just look younger" we looked at each other he said "do you want me to do it?" i said "i dont know, im scared! but then it will grow back in days" we also decided cutting his hair and cutting his beard short was a good shout considering we wouldnt have a bathroom for a couple of weeks.

whilst he showered I sat with my Ozwald in the living room

after Oz had 45mins running around I took him home and me and jack looked online at tiles. something that is hard to do but all the tile shops are closed due to us being in tier 4 so some shops are not open. however we did find a tile we both really liked. but it is not a colour we were originally gonna go for! its like purple/red but we both like it! so i emailed it across to matt to see if he thinks were making a mistake or if we can pull this off!

i might do a bit of drawing now then jack says he will watch inuyasha with me, actually spending some time with me! i am honoured. 

tomorrow I am up cus I might do some dancing, shower and then at 9:15am dad is coming over with an electrician to come look at our fuse box as that needs changing before tuesday! our fuse box is 40 years old and isnt safe basically. then me and jack are doing our shop for the week. i havent got anything planned from there. i would be going round tile shops but we cant.

so i will probably find something to keep myself busy with so I am not worrying about school

i cant believe that this time next week we could have a very different looking bathroom!

stayed up til 1am to see the year in

 Evening

So last  night I ended up staying up til 1am

we obviously stayed up talking to Jack's friends until midnight, were the 5 of them counted down together on video call, I just cuddled Jack. Jack had had a fair bit to drink, as they were all drinking. We saw a few fireworks from our window but fireworks do nothing for me, all I think about when I see/hear them "all those pets, wild animals and I hope my pets are ok" so many animals get stressed out for our enjoyment at looking at pretty lights in the sky. I said to Jack "is it Jo time?" as he had been on the video call for 3 hours. He said "yeah lets watch Inuyasha" which I was glad about as I needed some winding down time as his friends make me laugh. He left the room to go get his pyjamas on and I noticed his phone was ringing, it was his younger sister so I answered it and it went straight to video and it was his two sisters screaming "happy new year" to me XD so full of energy even at that time of day 0.0 so we spoke to them then his mum and step dad. Then we finally watched just 1 episode of Inuyasha as we were both dead

I woke up at 8:20am and got out of bed for my Ozwald, leaving Jack in bed

I read stuff on my tablet then watched dances on youtube, by 9:30am I thought "Im waking him, hangover or no hangover" so I went and climbed into bed, waking him. He didnt look too death like

I made him a mocha and 2 slices of fruit loaf and brought it into the living room for him, he was grateful. I said "Harvey and Theo wake up to a hangover, you wake up to Jo making you breakfast to help your hangover" he said "i know, i am so lucky to have you" ^^ he said he wasnt too bad tho actually. 

We showered together ^^ we havent done that before, we have had a bath together at his flat like twice but this time we tried showering ^^ even then I feel pretty innocent as I am just washing myself and jack washes himself, I was perving on him, we had a few cuddles ^^ but nothing sexual, which is nice. You can enjoy close moments like that without being filthy animals

once we were dry my mum txt to say she had kindly ironed out the curtains and could she bring them over to escape dad's company for a bit. So she came over and we hung our curtains up in the living room. Finally after a month we have sodding curtains. They look good actually and will make the room much warmer. we lost so much heat from those patio doors.

I told mum I wanted to have my lunch so to be on her way XD

me and jack had lunch then we went for a walk. These cold walks are really tiring me out. I just cant bare to give in and not go on walks. I like getting out and being outside but my body hates it. Really makes it tire very quickly and aches. It is so sad. I would like to keep going but when its really cold in January and february I might have to exercise indoors -_____-

when i got home it took me like a good hour to warm up I was just no good to anyone. Its like my body gets cold and shuts down. i go sleepy and cold. Jack left me to warm up and gamed with Harvey and Theo. But did join me to a hot drink with Oz

then I came upstairs to draw on my laptop whilst he gamed, i worked on my Hammington picture

its coming along, took me ages to sort the eyes, just didnt want to be cross eyed!

then I said to Jack that we needed to do dinner as we were having cake and custard at mums later so we made dinner, grabbed Ozwald and went over to my parents. Oz had more of welcome than i did and he got more affection -_____- cake and custard was bloody good tho but my stomach felt like it had been punched when I had eaten it. Good tho. I packed the remainder of my clothes. we came home for 8pm cus I cant leave Oz there too long in case he wants toilet.

got back and Jack went and gamed with Harvey and Theo, telling me he wasnt gonna watch Inuyasha with me tonight, which is fair enough. I put my clothes away then decided to look for birthday presents for my mum as her birthday is on 26th January. I have brought her a guinea mug and a guinea pig scarf. I have also ordered some pea flakes for the girls to try and I will put those in the guinea mug. I also have a bottle of wine I picked up this week that has a actual pig on the label and its called "the shy pig" so i have gone for a theme with her birthday.

Now its 9:50pm and I am tired, I want to continue drawing but I am just too tired I think and I have done some on it.

Oh at midnight last night I gave jack this picture I drew ages ago

its a page from the manga we both like Inu x Boku and I used fine liner, acrylic and water colour. I gave him to commemorate starting the year living together. He had tears in his eyes ^^ and told me he loves me and is very lucky to have me. Today he has hammered a nail into his study wall and put it up :)

tomorrow

not sure what I am doing if i am honest

we have an online appointment with our bathroom designer at 10:30am :/ just want to get it done and out the way to be honest. He is expecting us to put a deposit down but he can think again. I need more time to think. Interesting to see his design tho. On the other hand, my mum and dad should be having over a plumper/bathroom guy who did my parents upstairs bathroom several years ago and he is coming to assess their downstairs bathroom. Dad has told me that if the guy is happy then he will give us their appointment. so we end up with a new bathroom not my parents. But depends if the guy is happy to do that. and if he shows up as he was suppose to come before christmas and didnt so i am not holding my breath on this. apart from bathroom crap i have no plans.  

Last day of 2020

 Evening

Last night it took a while once again to get to sleep, think I was up til midnight. It's just tummy ache and trying to get to sleep with stomach ache. I even dreamed of having stomach ache and woke up with it as well :/ I was up at 7:20am for Ozwald of course. 

He was playing outside til midday despite the fact that it was minus degrees outside. The ground was solid but didnt stop him from eating frozen plants. He just didnt stop!

I felt quite crap this morning if I am honest. just drained of life. so after breakfast I went back to bed. Got up and went for a shower to freshen up and try and start the day, it was only 10am at this point anyway. Me and Jack sat and chose what we would like for the bathroom and then emailed the designer. Then we started making a vegetable soup. Whilst it was cooking I dusted a few rooms and Jack hoovered up everywhere so it was good to get that done. Then we sat down to have soup which was good and didnt give me crippling stomach ache. 

We went for a walk but it was very cold. We just went around here and i was struggling, i think just because it was so damn cold! I told jack that I was tired and he suggested I go to bed again when I get in as i will probably be up til midnight anyway. So thats what I did, I returned to my bed! I woke up at 4:15pm, Jack had been gaming whilst I had been asleep and remained gaming. I got Oz in for a fuss but he was just feral like he had been all day! cute tho X3 I told Jack we were setting off to mum's around 5:30pm my god I dont think he finished gaming until the moment I came to him and said "I am starting my car up!" good grief like he doesnt get any time to game! addicted 

we went to mum and dad's and i helped mum make the pizza french sticks and I told her I can eat it I just cant eat a big piece of it, felt like I ate a childs size portion in the end. We sat and watched "big fat quiz of the year" with them and I spent some time with my brother who clearly misses me ^^

I packed up the remainder of my clothes as I now have the wardrobe to put them in! the weird thing is when i got back to the house to unpack, I only seem to have 2 of my work tops :/ where are the other two? they must still be back in my old wardrobe but I dont know why I couldnt see them. I still need to bring over my pyjamas and my tights.

we got back at 9pm and I had Oz out who was full of energy for whatever reason. Just full of beans today! Which is lovely, I just cant keep up with him!  Jack had a video call with his friends from school and Oz featured in the video call X3 I took him home in the end tho. Jack is still talking to his friends, I have spent time with them talking but i have my diary to do and theres only 45mins left of this year!

This time last year we were walking as a group to the city centre to watch the fire work display from the council house of Nottingham, something I had never done but not fussed about doing again. So cramped together which this year would never happen! Its sad that no one has been able to have a new years party. I feel like there are gonna be so many parties to make up for how crap this year has been.

So what have I achieved during 2020?

I had wanted to maybe go travelling before I had settled down with a house, to keep working full time, to still be with Jack, to keep with my art and Japanese, to have better health and to have my family and pets.

Well at the start of 2020 me and jack started planning out our journey to japan. We wrote a lot out and I did a lot of research. Corona virus had started to say hello, and when we came to booking our holiday Jack had a complete melt down and was worried sick about the virus and going away. We were originally gonna go away during april. I said that if he wasnt happy about it, we would go. simple. Good job we didnt book anything as the world went into lock down and we wouldnt have been able to go anywhere! With so much free time off work, we decided to look at houses cus why not. Jack's rent ended in april and he could only get another 6 months cheaply before his awful landlord wanted more money for that dump so we thought "lets move!" and we looked for houses and found this unloved bungalow. Moving out has only really happened to me in the last 2 weeks is it? so I havent actually moved out for very long at all, I havent even moved out and been at work yet! I am handling things ok at the moment but when i return to work I suppose we will have to see how I cope.

I wasnt ready or prepared to move out to be honest. I did have it in my mind that jack would sign on for another year worth of rent not 6 months. So it has been a lot to do and take in. But its starting to feel more right and like home now anyway. I am very pleased we have moved out and that we managed to get onto the property ladder whilst the market had taken a bit of a plunge cus of the virus. The market went stale and housing lost its value. Literally a month after our offer had been accepted the market went mad and housing prices rose. Not only had we managed to get in during a good period for us we also got £20,000 less on the asking price. And its a bungalow so we can be here forever! its so quiet and flat and I am starting to feel like this is my home, and making it my home more and more.

I know I could never be trusted to live by myself which is why i have the amazing Jack by my side and we still make such a good team ^^ we havent had any falling outs or arguements, we've cried together a few times through venting but thats been it. I feel we always come up stronger and I cant imagine life without my nerd. Still wonder how we get on so well at times but yeah hes here for life ^^

as for art and japanese, I have been doing duolingo all year still so I have made effort with that. and its probably the only japanese i have been doing. Art, I have gone through fits and stages of my digital art but i feel i have done a lot crafts and traditional art this year, simply for the house. so thats been nice. And I hope to continue.

Working, I have had more time off than anyone else in the science department I feel. But I was assessed at work and its on file that I need regular breaks otherwise I push myself to fainting point, so I am allowed regular breaks, to stretch and to not work alone. I was gutted that at the end of this term I ended up being signed off work but i think that only happened cus i was moving out and it was too much, i hope it doesnt come to that again.

my family and pets are all doing well ^^

But what do I want of 2021? Now that its here I am unsure what I actually want? in a way I cant believe the year is over. I feel we didnt get to experience 2020 fully. Its gone stupidly quick cus we've spent it wrapped up in our bubbles.

its hard to say what i want in 2021 seeing I am unsure what state the world will be in :/ 

well I know a few things;

to keep working full time

to be able to look after myself in my home and working life

to get my craft room up and running and to do all my craft work from my own home

to keep up with my art and crafts and japanese - its important to find time for myself

to not get snowed under with life and put too much on myself

to put myself first, ask for help, not be hard on myself, and bloody look after myself more

I think these are all things that given what ever state the world is in - I can still attempt!

I dont want to put too much on myself given this will be my first full year of living away from my family home and standing on my own too feet. Well of course I have Jack by my side and hopefully Oz with me the whole year :D

I do want to take more time for myself and take better care of myself too. Not sure how I will do this yet but it is something I have the whole year to do.

Tomorrow

we have no plans really, maybe seeing my family for the sponge and custard we still havent had. I would love to dance if i have the energy to do so! and do some drawing as I didnt do any today sadly. Just too tired and did other things. theres only 30mins of 2020 left. Happy new year nya~