Thursday, 31 December 2020

Last day of 2020

 Evening


Last night it took a while once again to get to sleep, think I was up til midnight. It's just tummy ache and trying to get to sleep with stomach ache. I even dreamed of having stomach ache and woke up with it as well :/ I was up at 7:20am for Ozwald of course. 

He was playing outside til midday despite the fact that it was minus degrees outside. The ground was solid but didnt stop him from eating frozen plants. He just didnt stop!

I felt quite crap this morning if I am honest. just drained of life. so after breakfast I went back to bed. Got up and went for a shower to freshen up and try and start the day, it was only 10am at this point anyway. Me and Jack sat and chose what we would like for the bathroom and then emailed the designer. Then we started making a vegetable soup. Whilst it was cooking I dusted a few rooms and Jack hoovered up everywhere so it was good to get that done. Then we sat down to have soup which was good and didnt give me crippling stomach ache. 

We went for a walk but it was very cold. We just went around here and i was struggling, i think just because it was so damn cold! I told jack that I was tired and he suggested I go to bed again when I get in as i will probably be up til midnight anyway. So thats what I did, I returned to my bed! I woke up at 4:15pm, Jack had been gaming whilst I had been asleep and remained gaming. I got Oz in for a fuss but he was just feral like he had been all day! cute tho X3 I told Jack we were setting off to mum's around 5:30pm my god I dont think he finished gaming until the moment I came to him and said "I am starting my car up!" good grief like he doesnt get any time to game! addicted 


we went to mum and dad's and i helped mum make the pizza french sticks and I told her I can eat it I just cant eat a big piece of it, felt like I ate a childs size portion in the end. We sat and watched "big fat quiz of the year" with them and I spent some time with my brother who clearly misses me ^^

I packed up the remainder of my clothes as I now have the wardrobe to put them in! the weird thing is when i got back to the house to unpack, I only seem to have 2 of my work tops :/ where are the other two? they must still be back in my old wardrobe but I dont know why I couldnt see them. I still need to bring over my pyjamas and my tights.

we got back at 9pm and I had Oz out who was full of energy for whatever reason. Just full of beans today! Which is lovely, I just cant keep up with him!  Jack had a video call with his friends from school and Oz featured in the video call X3 I took him home in the end tho. Jack is still talking to his friends, I have spent time with them talking but i have my diary to do and theres only 45mins left of this year!

This time last year we were walking as a group to the city centre to watch the fire work display from the council house of Nottingham, something I had never done but not fussed about doing again. So cramped together which this year would never happen! Its sad that no one has been able to have a new years party. I feel like there are gonna be so many parties to make up for how crap this year has been.

So what have I achieved during 2020?

I had wanted to maybe go travelling before I had settled down with a house, to keep working full time, to still be with Jack, to keep with my art and Japanese, to have better health and to have my family and pets.

Well at the start of 2020 me and jack started planning out our journey to japan. We wrote a lot out and I did a lot of research. Corona virus had started to say hello, and when we came to booking our holiday Jack had a complete melt down and was worried sick about the virus and going away. We were originally gonna go away during april. I said that if he wasnt happy about it, we would go. simple. Good job we didnt book anything as the world went into lock down and we wouldnt have been able to go anywhere! With so much free time off work, we decided to look at houses cus why not. Jack's rent ended in april and he could only get another 6 months cheaply before his awful landlord wanted more money for that dump so we thought "lets move!" and we looked for houses and found this unloved bungalow. Moving out has only really happened to me in the last 2 weeks is it? so I havent actually moved out for very long at all, I havent even moved out and been at work yet! I am handling things ok at the moment but when i return to work I suppose we will have to see how I cope.

I wasnt ready or prepared to move out to be honest. I did have it in my mind that jack would sign on for another year worth of rent not 6 months. So it has been a lot to do and take in. But its starting to feel more right and like home now anyway. I am very pleased we have moved out and that we managed to get onto the property ladder whilst the market had taken a bit of a plunge cus of the virus. The market went stale and housing lost its value. Literally a month after our offer had been accepted the market went mad and housing prices rose. Not only had we managed to get in during a good period for us we also got £20,000 less on the asking price. And its a bungalow so we can be here forever! its so quiet and flat and I am starting to feel like this is my home, and making it my home more and more.

I know I could never be trusted to live by myself which is why i have the amazing Jack by my side and we still make such a good team ^^ we havent had any falling outs or arguements, we've cried together a few times through venting but thats been it. I feel we always come up stronger and I cant imagine life without my nerd. Still wonder how we get on so well at times but yeah hes here for life ^^

as for art and japanese, I have been doing duolingo all year still so I have made effort with that. and its probably the only japanese i have been doing. Art, I have gone through fits and stages of my digital art but i feel i have done a lot crafts and traditional art this year, simply for the house. so thats been nice. And I hope to continue.

Working, I have had more time off than anyone else in the science department I feel. But I was assessed at work and its on file that I need regular breaks otherwise I push myself to fainting point, so I am allowed regular breaks, to stretch and to not work alone. I was gutted that at the end of this term I ended up being signed off work but i think that only happened cus i was moving out and it was too much, i hope it doesnt come to that again.

my family and pets are all doing well ^^


But what do I want of 2021? Now that its here I am unsure what I actually want? in a way I cant believe the year is over. I feel we didnt get to experience 2020 fully. Its gone stupidly quick cus we've spent it wrapped up in our bubbles.

its hard to say what i want in 2021 seeing I am unsure what state the world will be in :/ 

well I know a few things;

to keep working full time

to be able to look after myself in my home and working life

to get my craft room up and running and to do all my craft work from my own home

to keep up with my art and crafts and japanese - its important to find time for myself

to not get snowed under with life and put too much on myself

to put myself first, ask for help, not be hard on myself, and bloody look after myself more

I think these are all things that given what ever state the world is in - I can still attempt!

I dont want to put too much on myself given this will be my first full year of living away from my family home and standing on my own too feet. Well of course I have Jack by my side and hopefully Oz with me the whole year :D

I do want to take more time for myself and take better care of myself too. Not sure how I will do this yet but it is something I have the whole year to do.


Tomorrow

we have no plans really, maybe seeing my family for the sponge and custard we still havent had. I would love to dance if i have the energy to do so! and do some drawing as I didnt do any today sadly. Just too tired and did other things. theres only 30mins of 2020 left. Happy new year nya~

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