Jack's interview

 Evening

I slept pretty well last night, wasnt overly drugged out my head ether 

I felt anxious about school, simply because I would be holding down the fort 

I felt so sick. I drove this morning whereas jack usually drives but I felt he was too preoccupied with his job interview, which I could understand

so he got to school - in a suit - and many people wished him luck which was nice. He pushed his trolleys out and left! he was only in the building a total of 10mins!

Luckily no one bothered me all morning ^^ I was so relieved.

but I forgot to take breaks, usually I remember or have Jack telling me to SIT. But I think cus I was so out of routine with everything I just kept going and going and before I knew it is was time for our tea break >< so I made me and julia a brew and sat down to hear about her weekend and stuff. Then at 11am jack had been released and was walking back to school

I made him a strong sweet coffee and shared an orea packet with him

I was happy to have my jack back ^^

he told us how that school's science department was just a mess. Half the staff missing, no current head of science, and tiny labs, 3 prep rooms but one is out of use. Yeah he said he wanted none of that. Out right told them he didnt want the job! nice to know other places are struggling too I guess. I know school are all as bad as one another but yeah....

so we got the rest of the day done

my afternoon was pretty easy

Luke told us he had the new pokemon game. He had only managed an hour so far I was like "an hour!> pff look at him over there! Mr. 12 hours!!!" XD yes my Jack has managed a fair few hours already XD I cant say i am interested in the game. Not my sort of game, plus looks  like PS2 graphics and I find the music repetitive and annoying. But hes happy. I havent slagged his game off to him but he mentioned the graphics being a bit disappointing 

we got home and despite my mummy not going walking with her friends, she also didnt want to come over. She said she had felt down all day and wasnt in the mood for company....my poor mummy.

I miss her

I want to comfort her

I cant wait to see her

tomorrow...

we had dinner which was nice, jack really enjoyed his. I made him 2 cobs with bacon, omelette and hash brown on it. I had sweet potato, beans and omelette.

I worked on my brothers coaster idea, and I think I am done. I will show it mum tomorrow and see what she says before I order it.

thinking of having it printed as a glass coaster for his new work desk.

got Jack's digital work to do next 

I went on just dance for 20 mins or so

Oz had a bit longer inside too, he has been fussed and spoiled 

Going to watch anime soon and go bed. Need sleep ><

tomorrow

just school and seeing mummy after school

ive been wearing all pink this week for work ^^ jo is cute~

New pokemon picture

 Evening

I couldnt be arsed to do my diary last night to be honest

I was overwhelmed with how much stuff I still had left to do and didnt want to waste  my sunday doing what I hadnt got done on the saturday! But Jack pulled me away from my desk and made me wind down for the evening as I would have pushed myself and kept going.

So yesterday, I cleaned Ozwald out and went to see my mum and brother. Mum ranted off about how much of a selfish insensitive arsehole dad had been on her birthday. But the rant wasnt that bad....turns out my brother had brunt of it on friday -____- that figures. But I could tell she was hurting. I felt so mad. I was hoping I didnt bump into dad as I think I would have laced into him and at the end of the day its none of my business

I came home and had a quick lunch with Jack, felt like death and went to bed. Jack's step dad turned up with his younger sister. I stayed in bed for a bit but then got up as I didnt want to be rude but also knew I didnt have energy for the whole of their stay round here.

James and Jack shared some male bonding time over the radiators. They shoving hosepipes up it and everything. Black sludge and yeah proper manly stuff. I was talking with his younger sister.

Then when they left my brother came over 10mins later! and he stayed for a bit which was nice as he doesnt come over that often. He stayed and talked and had changed my laptop battery and assessed it to see if it all works ok ^^ he also put a new screen protector on Jacks new phone.

He left and I got straight on with dinner which was good. Then I went on just dance and only managed 3 dances and was left panting like a dog, on the inhaler and in pain. It felt so unfair. I hated it so much.

this morning we got up and went food shopping which was ok apart from struggling to walk round the damn store.  I mean for the love of god when is this going to end!? its going on and on and its not fair. I was hurting and exhausted. Whats up with me!!!!?

came home and did the soup, cooked my meat for breakfasts, made biscuits, prepped the evening dinners fish. Then had porridge for lunch and then I went to bed for an hour

I got up and it was sunny and I really wanted to go a walk. I havent been for a walk with my jack for 2 weekends now simply cus I cant walk....its so sad

He did his chores and I got on with the science work I didnt finish on saturday. but I still have more to do however I was not prepared to spend my whole weekend doing it >.> so then I started working on some art work for jack. He says he would like a personalised phone case for his new phone. 

so i made a start, he hasnt seen it. and its not the pokemon he's asked for.....but when I told him I havent gone with the pokemon he wanted he said he trusted me.

I managed to do 10mins straight of arm weights and then I did some length strengthening after dinner I had a bath and got ready for school. Of course Oz has been fussed as he was inside 5 and a half hours today he is very spoilt and happy bun.

tomorrow

my Jack has his interview! so hes coming school with me to push his lessons out on trolleys then he is walking to the school. I am hoping hes back for lunch time. I wish him  luck. I am massively stressed out about it as I can barely walk or stand for long and I have got to run 6 labs without him. i hope the teachers dont stress me out. He says hes going to email them all and say hes out so to keep demands to a minimum XD 

My mum has txted me this evening saying shes had it out with dad, theyre not talking and its all crap. I truly feel for her and I hope shes ok. Its not nice arguing but I am also glad she has told him how skank he has been to her otherwise he would have got away with it and never known what a dick he was. or is in many cases. I just hope shes ok. My poor mummy. I have let my brother know as hes at his girlfriends house and has to go home to a house with atmosphere....

some birthday day out

 evening

I didnt sleep that well, waking up aching the usual.

I woke up at 5mins before the alarm so 5:55am T^T

I got up with Jack and brought Oz in and Jack got off on time

and I fell asleep for 2 and a half hours....just what the actual hell! I can not remember the last time I slept for so long in one go during the day. I must have just been exhausted. I got up and had the second half of my breakfast and a cup of tea. I needed to start work but I just couldnt. I still felt like I needed sleep. I procrastinated and I felt terrible for it. I felt like such a failure, I should have taken the day off sick not work from home. As I hadnt worked. I felt like I had let Jack and myself down. I was even tempted to ring him and tell him I had done NOTHING.

I think when my body is allowed rest it TAKES IT. It over takes. Like it worries when it will next get rest. I think I constantly battle with my chronic fatigue and dont even fully appreciate the rest my body needs. I am not good at rest. Jack was happy I had actually rested a bit today.

But after I had a lunch of carbs and sugar I found the energy and will power to start my work and I kept at it for hours straight. I brought Oz inside as he had enjoyed playing outside today which was nice. I kept doing bits of work and checking on him. Started dinner so it would be ready for Jack when he came home. 

We had dinner and we had a quick catch up but I kept talking to him whilst he did a few jobs and then I let him have a shower and go game

I managed to do a bit of exercise and it about killed me off. It wasnt even hard. I put Oz home and cleaned the bathroom somehow. Had a very hot bath. Now doing my diary. I will do a bit more work even tho its 9pm and I will finish it tomorrow. i dont feel happy with where I got up to.

Jack says its fine but I have a standard. 

My mum went out for the day with my dad but dad was a total arsehole by answering calls on his phone - work calls - calls that could wait as hes not at work. She even sent me a photo of him in the cafe on his phone ordering car parts....how bloody selfish. Its your wifes's birthday outing and you cant even give her a few hours of your time. Whats worse is since theyve been home my brother has txt to say what a foul mood hes been in all evening. I would absolutely lace into Jack if he had been like that with me. My mums way of coping was going for a walk by herself when she got home. I think to cool off so she didnt have a full blown argument as my dad isnt good as saying sorry or even acknowledging that hes in the wrong. So in my mums eyes its not worth the argument. To me id have to say it how it is otherwise how do they know? i cant let things simmer

I have since offered to go out with her tomorrow morning but I think shes content with me coming over tomorrow morning. I dont know what I will say to my dad if I see him

arsehole

so tomorrow

in the morning I have Ozwald to clean out and make fresh bunbun. Then I will see mum and my brother as he is changing my laptop battery and putting a new screen protector on Jack's new phone. Then I think after lunch Jack's step dad is coming over to help him clean out a blocked radiator as the one in the living room is blocked full of crap and gives out no heat. It is freezing in there.

Jack has an interview

 Evening

I slept a lot better for whatever reason

This morning Oz was in a bit of a mood tho. Sour dough loaf he was

School, I was being delivered fish heads XD Julia even asked me to wash her daughter's fish head so it wasnt as bloody....

Then around 9:30am Jack checked his emails and he had an email offering him an interview on monday! Its at the school that is on the same road as ours and you can be at it in 10mins by walking. Thats at 8:30am so he can come school with me, put his  lessons out then walk to his interview. He will be wearing a suit~~ I am pleased for him. It does his confidence some good. I can tell hes a bit stressed about it tho.

It got to lunch time and it was literally hurting me to stand. I was about done. But I had so much to still do. I couldnt bare to leave Jack tomorrow but I still printed off the sheet for monday. And in my last 45mins of the day I prepped monday. I have prepped tomorrow as well obviously but did monday just in case I wasn't in tomorrow. I told Jack I dont want to leave him as I have too much on tomorrow. But he says my health comes first.

We got home and mummy was here and she had let Oz out. I went out to him three times to get him in and he ran away each time. I was fed up of going out for him as it was hurting me so much but I got him in the end. Not sure whats up with him. He hasnt even wanted much fuss. Until the point of him going home then he decided he wanted fuss.  I gave it and I got a whole beard of Oz fur. He is shedding....

Mum was happy to see me and Jack left us to it.

Mummy went and I said I might see her saturday as she going out tomorrow with dad for her birthday.

I did dinner which was a freezer leftover portion of thai stew for me and pizza for jack. The one unhealthy meal he gets each week. Everything else is cooked from scratch.

I rested after dinner as I couldnt do much. The pain makes me want to cry. It just does not let up.

I didnt do any exercise. I need a day off. I was thinking of maybe not going in tomorrow but I am worried about Jack - who already has a tension stress headache. But he actually just told me to work from home and doesnt even want me to take him or pick him up......we've never done that before but he said he might hitch a lift off someone at work maybe.

I had a bath and massaged my legs which felt nice

Jack is in the bath, we will watch anime and go bed

tomorrow I guess I am working from home! I have plenty to do, shed loads of biology - especially after my lesson today ><' 

be a long day tho as Jack will leave the house extra early and also mum wont be over for lunch T^T then when Jack does get home he needs to eat and bathe then go play games for 4 hours T^T

gave mummy the molcar

 Evening

Mummy's birthday today!

Luckily I slept a bit better last night but still felt as tired as always

School was fun in the morning tho as I had students knocking at my door giving me fish heads. I think I freaked one guy out as he was like "er I have a fish head" I said like dead pan "give it to me" XD

I went in during the practical and heard this

"sir can I give my fish a kiss?"

"sir my fish bit me man"

"sir my fish is drooling"

I was laughing and it was good to see

I have it again tomorrow so yay i get to see another selection of fish heads :3

I managed my day just about but it was hurting to stand and walk and so I took it easy the rest of the afternoon as I had burnt myself out pretty badly in the morning....

We got home and mummy was here! its mummy's birthday ^^ she had made lovely little cup cakes so we sat with Oz having cup cakes and tea it was a nice treat. Mummy opened her presents too and she really loved what I got for her. 100% guinea pig presents. Molcar was probably her favourite XD So that was nice and shes since sent a txt thanking me for everything. She loved that molcar, she thought it was so sweet and wants to put it somewhere she can see it often a.k.a her guinea pig shrine in her bedroom XD my brother has since sent me a photo of the molcar - he likes it XD

She left and I somehow managed 30mins of yoga, had a bath, did my biscuits, dished dinner.

Now just doing diary in the kitchen whilst Jack washes up, I will take Oz home and watch anime with hot chocolate and the remaining cupcakes~~~

tomorrow

i really want to go to school but I am in a lot of pain. Despite having a MEGA HOT bath earlier that had me glowing like a lobster and unable to feel temperature once I was out XD I did it to kill the aches but theyre back with a vengeance. So I really want to go tomorrow but god knows what state I will be in. I have my lesson tomorrow and fish heads~ 

1 whole week of hurting to walk and stand

 Evening

Im struggling to stay asleep T^T keep waking up cold or aching or both

I once again woke up before my alarm so got up for a wee, did my teeth then I woke Jack up ^^

School was ok I guess. I just had a lot of talking

talking = Jo giving out best energy = Jo knackered and burnt out -_____-

I always want people to feel they can talk to me and Im not just some drained miserable husk of a human being. So I give them my best energy when they talk to me. But it is exhausting T^T

still its good to talk to people I guess

we came home and mum was already here and let Oz out

I had a cup of tea with Oz and mum, Jack went upstairs on his PC. I painted mum's nails. She having her hair done tomorrow so she will be fresh with nails and hair on her birthday tomorrow!

We did dinner which was so good and simple god it was tasty tho

then I prepped a bit for my stew in the morning, went on my new just dance 2016 as mum brought my post over and that had arrived! so I did 20mins but that was an ask. I felt like I had been on it 45mins. I was so exhausted. Its hurting to stand and walk....

I called Jack over and we both sat together fussing Oz so that was nice, then took him home bless him. Hes had such a nice day today.

I had a bath then I am gonna do some chores before bed cus you know thats what you do when you work full time and have a house. You have no life, no time for yourself or energy

tomorrow

school, got 2 practicals one of which is the fish head prac XD i love it. So tomorrow morning kids will be coming to my prep room door handing me fish heads to put in my fridge XD love it

and when I get home mummy is coming over with cakes she will make tomorrow as its her birthday and we can give her her pressie :3

please god let me sleep tonight. I even took extra pain killers last night in the hopes of sleeping but nah

just another mundane monday

 Evening~~

I didnt sleep well last night. I kept waking up cold and aching T^T So I was quite tired this morning. I woke up at 6am, then was waking every 5 mins to my alarm as I was aware it would be going off soon and would no doubt make me jump! So at 5 mins til my alarm I turned it off and woke my Jack up. We had a quick cuddle and got up

School was ok. No practicals, so it was an easy enough day. I was just tired and it was also hurting me still to walk. Not as bad as last week but it was still there a bit. So I was trying to stay off my feet so I wouldnt be in horrendous pain for the rest of the week.

I also printed off the teacher's 50th birthday card I made. No one said anything about it. Ether they thought it was shop brought or being the boring science types, they probably didnt even notice the front cover....

We got home and sat with Oz and a brew. I started dinner before 5pm as I was hungry and didnt want to snack on crap. It was noodles and I was looking forward to it ^^

I have got to do some exercise and have a bath yet. Maybe do some drawing? not sure yet. Not sure what exercise to do ether actually....tempted to do work out but also dont want to do myself in and not sure what energy I have. So maybe just dance? but done that last few days. So I am not sure. I miss my kettle bell. Not done it for a week! lets do kettle bell XD

I AM SO TIRED THO

my eyes feel like where my cheeks are. theyre hanging down my face. I NEED sleep

I will be in bed on time for sure

tomorrow

just school then see mummy after school ^^