I slept but feel like death, wrote the day off

 Evening

I did in fact sleep quite well last night! I was so exhausted.

Jack put Oz outside but he soon came to sit on the patio step looking in the patio window at us...I cant bare it when he does that so I went out to him and he came running to me - he wanted to come in. So he did toilet on the comfort of his blanket and had breakfast with us. He always gets his own way -___-

I honestly felt so dead today. Like I had been ran over in the night. I wanted nothing more than to sleep.

Jack went straight outside to garden. I went to keep him company for a bit then did a bit of painting. I kept bringing him for drinks. Mum popped over at 11:20am and I bought Jack in then as I could see he was going a bit pink. It was hot this morning!! Jack burns easily. 

We had lunch and then I flopped on the bed. I could not wait. But I couldnt sleep really as from 1pm til now as its still going on at 6pm the dogs behind us have been barking non stop. Like non stop. How do they continue to bark? theyre growling and howling. Theyre not happy and the owners will come home and yell at them. Why do people have dogs? when they have no clue how to look after them? I cant look after 1 dog I know I will have 3! thats the mentality of the people who live behind us. So So sick of listening to them dogs. it takes the pee. 5+ hours of barking.

I got up and sat round a bit, im literally up for nothing today. I hurt, it hurts to walk, I have a banging headache and just feel like death. So Jack was playing his switch on the TV, I did some painting behind him and Oz lazed on the blanket, we just all sat together really.

We had a shower and then Jack set off for Harvey's as I am really not up to that. I couldnt face going but didnt want Jack to not go. So he set off by himself. The 3rd place he has driven to by himself! He txt me to say he got there ok. So when he left my brother rang and when I put down the phone I did my dinner which was korean noodles. It was good ^^ Oz had carrot with me.

Now I will probably do some digital drawing, Oz is welcome to stay with me and then he can come out and water the garden with me tonight. 

I dont know what time Jack is coming home but I told him not to worry about getting back and just to enjoy himself.

Tomorrow

another bank holiday. Speaking of which I managed to avoid all videos, sounds and photos of the jubliee today woohoo. Im sure I will probably hear pieces of it from work but on the whole I have managed to escape it! cant stand all the royal family crap. doesnt make me proud to be british or anything. Not into that crap. But my dad says hes off work tomorrow so him and mum may come help with the garden, not 100% sure yet. Some gardening will happen at some point tomorrow!

I havent got much else on really. The soil is being delivered tomorrow for the corner of the garden mum and Jack worked on yesterday.

at 6:15pm someone has come back to shut the dogs up. thank god. 

fully sheered Oz and new pokemon video

 Evening

I sheered the rest of Oz last night, he just stood and let me and trim him I even managed to trim his chest! he doesnt even like anyone stroking him there. We then went outside together, I planted a plant which made me ache but I was aching anyway and I was worried about the plant, its leaves had started to go dark. But today it looks happier. Oz was happy outside it was very cute watching him. I put him to bed and watch Rwby with Jack and played Pokemon I did the 4th badge

I once again couldnt sleep. Felt like I was laying on concrete so I was up til midnight on pain killers. I woke up at 8:30am. Poor Oz, I was late for him! We got the stew on anyway as soon as we woke up.

I thought I had got away with feeling like death today but it slowly crept on as the morning went on.

I didnt do a lot this morning. 

After lunch mum came round to help Jack with the gardening. He had already done 2 hours in the morning but with mums help he wanted to get further. So they were outside working hard and I was just inside painting like lady muck. I honestly felt so guilty and bad for not helping and even going to lay on my bed. But mum said I did look pasty and they know im not much use. I hate this body. Its so annoying. I want to help

We all had a cup of tea together then mum left. We had showers and then had dinner. I had stomach ache during dinner but I was determined to finish damn it. I finished and still felt hungry, I have eaten a cookie since then and still feel empty. Lately I am just hungry all the time.

Now its 7pm and Jack is on his switch on the tv behind me, I am ether gonna paint or do digital drawing whilst watching Oz play outside

then it will be anime and pokemon. Oh there was new pokemon video out today I am a lil disappointed by some things. Such as the legendaries look naff, one is like mechanical looking, the other looks like it has a motorbike wheel lodged in it's throat. I also dont like how the playable characters look like 7 year olds. Surely GameFreak must know that a lot of people who play pokemon are ADULTS and dont want to look like a child. I dont like on sword and sheild how skinny the girl character player is as I aint that skinny! Its good you can change your hair an eye colour but i feel some other parts need to change. But apart from that it looked alright, I will certainly preorder!

tomorrow

think it will be another afternoon of gardening for Jack and think we going harvey's for takeaway in the evening. It will be the start of a 4 day bank holiday tho...

so many bite marks

 Evening

I slept til 4am which is when a nightmare woke me, then 5am then 6am and finally 7am which is when I decided to get up and get rid of my stomach content, I hate dying on the toilet the moment I wake up >.>

I didnt do a great deal this morning, I did 10mins of weights and I did some drawing, I snacked and then at 12:15pm I headed off for massage. Which was sooo good. i feel loads better

I was ravenous after tho as it was almost 2pm and I hadnt had lunch. I had breakfast at 7:30am T^T

So we had a late lunch then I had a hot bath as I was oily from massage, must say it did feel weird having a bath at 2:30pm in the afternoon! I felt exhausted and laid on my bed and played pokemon for half hour. I got up and had a cup of tea then mum rang for half hour

then I cooked Donburi for the 2nd time, yeah its not a bad meal, I feel like something is missing tho. Too oniony in my opinion. 

Its 6:30pm I have washed and done some exercise (should never exercise after a massage so I did some weights this morning) and I have the rest of the evening to get through. I dont even need to water the garden as it rained today!

Oz has been in a lot today, sorry, hes not actually been outside today >.> I gave him the option of going out but he didnt want to. However he did get kicked out for 10mins by Jack this morning as Oz kept mounting me and Jack just picked him up, threw him out to cool off! he is rather randy lately. I have a lot of bite marks from were he latches on....I was dreading Charlotte asking me during my massage "what are all these marks?" but she didnt luckily. what do I say? "yeah sorry theyre literal rabbit love bites!"

tomorrow

already half way through the week T^T

think mum is popping round at some point to help with the garden. Apart from that we have nothing planned. I will probably be dead from massage anyway so I have wrote the day off.

I hope I sleep tonight

Litwick Narrative

 Evening

I was up til 12:30am as I was aching. I got up and I ate a fair amount, I was hungry and felt sick. I went to bed and kinda slept. I was up at 7:30am as I woke up and needed pain killers! Jack got up at 8:15am

I had breakfast with loaf. Bless him, I spend so much time with that bun. This morning I was on the floor for half hour just fussing that little face off. I love him so much. I spend a lot of time with him. hes never lonely. The time I do put him in his cage is literally to sleep! hes out the rest of the day ether outside or with me.

So this morning we went to asian supermarket and picked up a few bits but sadly they didnt have any rice cakes! not even frozen ones! totally sold out. So that was disappointing for Jack. We stocked up on noodles haha Jacks's treat cupboard is full. We then went pet shop and spent £23 on Oz just on hay and sawdust as I buy in bulk otherwise id be down there every week.

We got back and had a cup of tea

then I kept Jack company in the garden, both me and Oz kept him company

Mum came over for lunch then I went to bed but didnt really sleep as I was  aching

I got up and did some drawing, working on my next piece. But here is my litwick piece.

I was about falling asleep so I got on with dinner which was full english for jack and egg, beans and sausage which was nice actually. I then went to do a work out as I cant do one tomorrow due to having a massage. So I wanted to go for it today. However Jack made me calm down and think rationally and so I just did a 25min work out which was actually ok but when I finished I hurt. And washing myself afterwards in the bath was harder effort than the workout!!

Grow with JO has just put out this video its 58 mins long and tests your fitness. I really really wanna do it but Jack was telling me off >.> fun police. He says I can work out but doesnt want me killing myself. My stupid determination would see me through the 58mins just because thats how I am even if it kills me!

I might do some more drawing whilst I wait for Jack to come out the bath.

just be anime and pokemon tonight

tomorrow

got massage at 12:30. So I guess I will have lunch when I come home then have a bath. Be a bit of an odd day really but it was just when I could fit in with her. I am desperate for a massage.

My legs hurting and probably gonna ruin my week off

 Evening

I played pokemon by myself in bed last night til about 9:30pm, I couldnt keep my eyes open any longer than that. I kinda knew when Jack got into bed. I kept waking up to get comfy again as I was aching in my sleep, joy! I had a dream about Karen and I woke up with tears on my face. I do miss her. My dream was me trying to find her, to tell her things I never got to say to her.

I got up at 7:50am and had breakfast by myself. Jack was asleep and I booted Oz outside. I cleaned the bathroom and got ready to go shopping. I was done in! But I wanted to get some chores done whilst my legs weren't in total agony 

We got shopping done with, wasnt too bad but my legs hurt by this point I have to say.

we got back and had a brew with Ozwald. we gave him a mini carrot and he loved it.

I cooked meat and we had lunch. I went to lay on the bed but I couldnt sleep as I knew Jack had gone outside to garden and I know how much he hates gardening. I felt to guilty to just lay there. So after half hour I got up and went out with him. I tried to do some gardening and I planted a plant but at this point my legs AND back were screaming at me. I had to stop. But I wanted to do more!!! I continued but I got told off by Jack he told me to leave it all.

So I went inside and did an hour of yoga/weights. I did feel better for doing that

we had a brew and then I went for an early bath then made biscuits then did dinner

I love having dinner in pjs!

I think I will hopefully get my Litwick picture done tonight, I know what picture I want to do next as well. its only 6:20pm so I have time~

I told Jack he can go game tonight if he wants to but he said he would like to spend some time with me tonight. Which is fine. So it will be anime and pokemon in bed ^^

tomorrow

its school holidays so no school!!

ORIGINALLY we planned to go to derby for the day but I am struggling to be on my feet. I really do think at this rate I am literally not going to be able to go anywhere! So i think it will be a home day. i am gonna try not let it all get to me and do something I enjoy like starting my new painting or something. Maybe see mum I shall see.

I have a massage on tuesday so fingers crossed it helps my legs. But its a double edge sword as a massage knocks me out for 2-3 days. trade one evil for another i guess

so goodbye to holidays

Alpaca Walk

 Evening

I was playing Pokemon til around 10pm by myself in bed. I think I got woke up by Jack coming to bed around 11pm. I woke up at 8am. So nice to not have to get up at 6am

I felt disappointed as I felt tired, achy and my legs hurt. Not a good set up for the day ahead I had got

So i went and cleaned Oz's cage and I cleaned the girls cage out from last week.

I did some drawing and then I had lunch then I got ready to go out

We got to the Alpaca place

and it was just a small private farm really but they must have had about 20 alpacas

I was sooooooooo nervous

so we were with about 3 other couples really and we stood in a barn and we had a talk about alpacas, we were shown the fur and felt it and told what would be happening. It killed me to stand there. There was nothing more I wanted in than moment than a chair.

So we got taken into the farm yard to meet the alpacas - all female

and they harnessed them up and passed us one between two

my parents got a lovely white and silver one, we had a black one that was very dusty from rolling in the dry dirt. We had the one that liked to lead. I let Jack hold the reigns as I didnt feel confident enough. I was so nervous. We all got our alpaca and we took them for a walk round this farm field and then we had photos with them - think it was mine and jack's 3rd photo together XD 

We then got to hand feed them which was a funny sensation and I felt confident doing this. We got to watch them in the field then that was pretty much the experience over with

I was quite tired by this point ^^; but I really enjoyed it. i could tell my parents did. Jack enjoyed it too actually. I was glad to have his support

we drove then to a garden centre like 1min down the road

we walked through to the cafe for a cake and tea, a lady sat us down. We waited for our order to be taken which took about 10 or so minutes

then we waited

and waited

and waited

until I said to jack "this is stupid. for 2 teas and 2 cakes. Why is taking this long" people around us who came in long after us had their stuff. The lady who took our order was cleaning tables, other staff just stood round talking. I feel like our order had gotten forgotten. We waited 30mins for a drink and cake. It was only half full the place was, they werent busy!

so we walked off cus I wasnt giving them my money at this point. Bit disappointing. We looked round house plants and they had some interesting ones but I wasnt feeling it. I was in so much pain by this point.

I got home and Jack made me a brew and I had fruit loaf too. 

I laid on my bed for an hour. I hurt so much. My legs kill

I did dinner, I wasnt that hungry and I didnt want to stand and make food but just got it over with and done really

I am so tired and in lots of pain but it was a nice experience. I think I have a few photos but not looked at them yet.

Jack had a 20sec video on his phone of me feeding an alpaca. I watched it. I havent seen myself on film for a long time. I havent seen a photo of myself for a while. The self hatred was true. I could only see how fat and ugly I am. I wish I hadnt seen it. I want to crawl under a large heavy rock

im gonna have a long soak in the bath now to try help my muscles

tomorrow

going food shop, got food to faff with and bathroom to clean

worked from home, alpaca walk tomorrow

 Evening

I slept okish last night but was awake from 5am again. 

I felt dead. So tired when I got up. My legs hurt to walk on, tired achy, and I just felt like I wouldnt be able to cope with the day. With being at school and looking happy for people. Jack told me to work from home today and I reluctantly agreed.

So Jack went off to work and I ran to the toilet to once again get rid of my stomach content

Oh my god I have been so hungry today but I think its because I have emptied my stomach out twice, I think I am running on empty!!! 

I got set up to do some work. I booted Oz outside but he sat outside the patio door - he never does this. I could not take the look anymore and after half hour I bought him to sit by my feet on plush pad as I worked -_____- he wins. again.

I spent my day pretty much taking it easy. I had 2 naps, had lunch with mummy and did work. I didnt work 4 hours solidly as I literally couldnt. So I spaced my work out throughout the day. I got what I wanted to get done, done. So I was pleased but didnt finish til 4:30! 

Oz has been pretty much with me all day. Loaf

I did 15mins of weights, not by a video, just by myself. It did me in!! I had a bath, then Jack came home, I sheered him and made him go wash

we had dinner and now Jack has gone to game for the first time in weeks! I am just with loaf and I might do some drawing. Then play pokemon in bed by myself ^^

Tomorrow

got Oz's cage to clean out but also the girls cage from last week. 

Then at 1pm we are going to do my dad's 60th birthday experience. We are going on an alpaca walk! Its literally 10 mins down the road. We get there and have a health and safety talk and then be matched up with an alpaca and then go for an hour's walk. 

I am looking forward to it but also a bit apprehensive because I am a bit scared of alpacas and llama cus they can spit and kick! but I am sure these ones are tame and used to the walks. also a bit worried about being on my feet for an hour. It was another reason why I didnt go work today cus I wanted to save my legs for tomorrow. I hope i manage.

Then we are parting from my parents and going to a garden centre 1 min from there so we can go for tea and cake and maybe a house plant ^^ make more of an afternoon of it as we dont get out much!