got stung by nettles

 Evening

We did our own thing for about 45mins last night, I was watching youtube videos really. I needed to do something that didnt require much thought you know? We still watched rwby and played on pokemon. 

I couldnt sleep tho, it was so weird, the whole evening I hadnt been tired and whilst I laid there in bed - I still wasnt tired. Whats up with that!? Im usually shattered AF 

So I got up and took extra pain killers, stayed up til 11:30pm and then went to bed. I had to get up at midnight as my thoughts were still racing and I decided to wake Jack up as it wasnt good and he always says every single night to wake him if I cant sleep. So we were up for a while, well up til 1am. I took extra pain killers as the ones previous must have been sugar pills im sure. I fell asleep around 2am

so I had achieved 4 hours sleep. Even then this morning I wasnt tired. Just wired. I think my head is a real mess right now.

I went to school

i walked A LOT round school and my legs werent hurting. Usually by the first 10mins the ligaments behind my kneecaps are hurting and everything from below the knee cap feels like it weighs 10x as much. But that didnt happen today, really was strange.

I got a lot done and talked to people too. 

I came home and found piglets which was nice, I popped them out for 2 hours as its finally overcast today and only 20c. It was humid at school that building doesnt do draft. But it was fine to put the girls out luckily ^^ I put Oz outside and he was running round dead excited. He usually just loafs around lunch. 

I lazed around on the bed I couldnt sleep tho. I watched youtube videos and then my head was busy so I decided to do a work out and luckily GrowwithJo had bought out a new video today ^^

I did that and went for a bath

Jack came home and said he wasnt having dinner as the science department was ordering fish and chips at lunch for the trainee science teacher's last day. He says hes too full for dinner which is fine. Im still gonna do my dinner tho! I will eat his portion tomorrow as hes out for lunch tomorrow and probably wont want dinner again.

I might sit with the girls tonight, I will see how much they are enjoying themselves outside. 

Not sure how I will pass my evening tho I have to say.

Oh and I got stung by nettles today!! I went to pick Oz up from the path on the side of my house at 3pm and didnt realise he was sat on a bit of nettle. So 3 fingers got mega stung!! All up the fingers. It got me good and that was 3 hours ago and it still 'stings' more feels like strong pins and needles. I couldnt believe how much it stung! No wonder it makes children cry. I didnt say anything tho. Made a change to feel a different pain. But it has been years! 

tomorrow

got Oz to clean out and Jack is seeing the guys in the city centre for food then seeing Top Gun, jack isnt arsed about the film but I am sure he will enjoy the time with his friends. i havent got any plans really. See how I feel tomorrow

I get the girls again tomorrow

 Evening

So as Jack was gonna be gaming last night, and im always shattered at night, I figured I could go bed whenever I liked! So I was in bed for 8pm XD I decided to take extra pregabalin which I dont usually as I never have spares to take but mum said she was fetching my meds, so I would have 5 spare tablets effectively. I was playing on my switch and took my meds at 8:30pm I stopped playing at 8:45pm as my hurt - they were tired. I tried to sleep - - it did not take long! I slept through too! So, on a weekday, I have had...9 hours sleep!!!!!! this NEVER happens. 

Jack said he had come to bed at 9:15pm, so I must have fell asleep rapid!! As I didnt hear him come to bed or do his patrol of the house (checks every damn window and door) 

But this morning, usually on mornings were im not feeling 100% we have this debate on whether Jo is fit for work or not. But this morning it was very much me saying "I need to work from home today"

yeah I was not good. It hurt to walk and my body hurt all over to be honest.

So Jack went to school and I worked from home, I got my two pictures done (girl yesterday, boy today) for the reading science display I need to do~

Mummy came to see me for lunch and bought Oz some apple and me a piece of cake to share with her ^^ so that was a nice lunch and after I did her nails. She only lets me do her nails when shes going away or for an occasion.  Then she left and I rested by watching youtube videos, I potted a cactus, I made the girls hutch up and then I did a bit of a work out, had a cold bath, made biscuits, did Jack's pizza whilst he was in the bath.

Not sure what I will do tonight tho, not thought that far ahead. Its currently 7:10pm so yeah I have a bit of time to kill. Loaf is outside somewhere, I let him stay inside for a while bless him.

Tonight just anime and switchs

tomorrow

its school and I AM GOING, I wanna go damn it T^T when I get home I should find the sows in their cage waiting for me ^^

I went shopping~~~~~

 Evening

I slept pretty okish last night I guess, extra pain killers werent needed anyway so thats a bit of a win

This morning I wasnt sure what to do. I was so tired and done. I had nothing to give for the day. I would have pushed through but Jack put his foot down and told me to work from home T^T so he went to work and left me. I signed onto my emails for half hour then went to bed for an hour waking up feeling much better. I got back to work and was drawing away. 

I had lunch at midday with loaf. Then at 12:45pm my mummy took me out shopping round TK MAXX were I spent £117 and mum spent £75. It was a good haul, finally I was let out the house to go shopping!! I got soooooooooooooooo much I was very pleased. But we had been a long time and I was flagging but we got home and mummy had made cake yesterday so she had bought me a slice. I sat and ate that with her and had a brew

she was worried she had tired me out and I did feel a lil tired but not too bad. There was also all the bags at the front door to sort. She was worried Jack would be cross with her for tiring me out all afternoon and the mess of the bags, how much stuff we bought. With that she made her escape and Jack came in 10mins later from school

he saw me and the bags X3 i showed him my haul and gave him the goodies i picked up for him. I then hit a rather large wall ^^; Im soooo tired and my legs HURT  I told him I didnt think I could do exercise today. I didnt do any yesterday but I have enjoyed my afternoon out the house to somewhere other than school and food shop. i also got to spend time with mummy 

We did some mash to go with the dinner and had dinner with loaf

now I will go for a bath 

Jack is gonna go online with his brother tonight and his brother's friends. They are going to try and start a D&D game out. Jack hasnt played with his brother for 10 years. I hope they play nicely together.

I encouraged him to play with him as I know Jack really enjoys D&D and those two do nothing together so it should be good.

I will finish the work I started today as its almost done and i need to make up for that hour I went to bed! It would be nice to hang these pictures up tomorrow too.

Not sure what I will do for the rest of the evening

tomorrow is school

I hope I can go, Julia managed to go school today which surprised me. I hope the 3 of us can be together tomorrow. Then after school I need to make the guinea pig cage up and see mum for lunch and also paint her nails!

i just wanna be in a coma for a bit

 Evening

I did try to sleep last night but I ached too much so I got up til 11pm and took extra, tried again to sleep but wasnt happening. I woke Jack up and I was up til 12:30am with him I had tea and fruit loaf. I could have cried I was just so tired and wanted a 14hour sleep so badly.

I got up at 6am and whilst eating breakfast I had a txt from Julia saying she was poorly! Julia is never poorly! Bless her so we had her off today

at school we had 3 science teachers off!  stomach bugs are going round apparently.

I managed to get a bit of display stuff and I thought I had done too much work for it but apparently not enough! I have space! So I need to pad it out a bit. I saw Lizi briefly too. 

My morning felt like a hard slog. So tired and felt dizzy and a bit fainty I wondered if I had drank enough in the 26c heat.

i worried about leaving Jack at lunch time cus he would be eating lunch alone and the only technician I didnt want him killing himself off to please others. But he said he had an early lunch and ate lunch with some science teachers. So that was nice.

I came home, ate, bed. dead

I didnt see mum I was just so done. I downed a load of drink as I was still dizzy. After my sleep I sat and fussed Ozwald and I watched a few vlogs and then I rang my mum. She reminded me I always feel this was when I have increased my antidepressant or forgotten to take it. Just the way it gets me i guess. I need to get used to it.

I cut up all the veg for the stew tomorrow and for dinner tonight then had a cool bath, Jack came home and he had the bath whilst I cooked Donburi it was tasty

I havent done any art for several days now. Just cus I am so unmotivated and unstructured and tired and its hot and I can keep going with excuses but I do want to crack on with some, I have ideas I just havent had the will power to actually do them!!

I am so done, dying of a hayfever attack its 25c and yeah I just wanna be in a coma for a while. I cant be bothered with life right now

tomorrow

school, and hopefully see mummy

always demanding treats that rabbit

 Evening

I struggled to sleep I was aching so I was up with Jack til 11pm taking extra pain killers. I just wanted to sleep for 14 hours. I kept waking in the night too. I dreamed I took Oz to the park for a walk it was a very sweet dream Very sedate dream for me! I was kinda awake from 5am tho

I got up for school, my legs not feeling too bad but I was tired these antidepressants do a number on you. Oz was cobby this morning and I put him outside in the end. He had too much energy I think! He could go burn it off out there. I put shorts on for work for the first time this year. i did feel a bit on show with my bare calves but I tried to get on with it

My school hours were ok I guess. I was having to cut up nappies into little squares it has taken me 4 hours over 2 days. I was boring but a sitting down task I could do. jack kindly went through my written display work with me so he corrected my bad english XD I didnt get to say bye to him tho as I didnt see him for half hour and it was time for me to go home and I was shattered as it was, I wasnt gonna go searching for him.

I got home and ate lunch with Oz, who was looking round for a treat. I usually have mum over for lunch and she brings him a treat of fresh apple or banana. Mum wasnt here she was having her hair cut. But I had a rabbit looking for his lunch time treat >.> my mother has gone and got him into another routine!!! Bloody hell. So I had to go get him a treat!!! I passed him a piece of dried banana and he reluctantly took it from him, not what he wanted but would have it anyway.

I went to go have a sleep as I was done but the council start chopping the overgrown weeds on the other side of our fence so I couldnt sleep with that going off. I think I caught some sleep. I laid on my bed at at 2:45pm my door bell went.

It was mummy! Wasnt expecting mummy at all. She had been quicker than she thought with her hair appointment so she came to see me. i was glad as I was too tired to do anything so it would help break my day up a bit. So we had tea with Oz who kept licking my mums bare calves....

Mum left and I decided I would motivate myself and do a work out as I have a lot of bad thoughts about my body so a work out would help. I then had a cool bath and Jack came home. Hes gonna have a bath now. Then were having pulled pork wraps. I put the pork in the slow cooker and seasoned it to make it bbq style. It should be bloody amazing!

Id like to try do some art tonight as I havent done any for days now.

Tomorrow its school

mummy said she would see me for lunch

I hope I sleep tonight its quite warm

socialised for the first time in 3 months

 Evening

Couldnt sleep last night. I ached so much the bed was not comfy. So I got up and took extra pain killers, tried again to go bed but then I was plagued with self harm thoughts and at this point I thought it was best not to be alone so I woke Jack. He made me tea and fruit loaf and we stayed up til 12:30 I woke up a lot in the night. I got up at 8am

I bought Oz in and he was looking round for Jack is was very cute and I couldnt bare it any longer so I took him through to the bedroom to wake Jack up with. I told Jack Oz had been looking for him and I dont think Jack minded being woken by Oz

I cleaned the bathroom and got a txt from mia saying is 10am ok? So maybe I got the wrong weekend last weekend! I felt better about socialising this week than what I did last week so I said she could come over

we talked for 2 hours well she talked for 2 hours XD I didnt want to talk about myself and my dull life and my health so I let her talk about moving house, weddings, life stuff. It was good to actually socialise. Tiring. But good. I feel better for doing it as it has been 3 months now. But god I was exhausted.

Me and Jack had lunch then I flopped on the bed next to him as he played his switch.

Later on he went over to his family's house, I fell asleep for 40mins, mum came over to dye my hair so its all fresh now and I had a cup of tea with her. I have been a social butterfly today! 

Me and Jack had korean noodles which was good I am getting better at the recipe!

Now we gonna watch anime and play pokemon in bed!

Tomorrow its school ugh

Im gonna wear shorts! 

My legs hurt like a bitch. That dinner killed my legs off. I hope I can walk tomorrow. My head feels fuzzy I cant think properly and my sentencing when I talk it all wrong like english isnt my first language XD

head feels a bit messy and dead

 Evening

ahhh last night was 31c.....so hot. I thought I didnt have a chance in hell getting sleep, but I started my extra dose of antidepressant. Yup I slept. I slept like the dead. Jack even said to me this morning I slept well! I hope I wasnt being annoying in my sleep. he said he did not sleep well it was just too hot.

I woke up at 7am and got my loaf in, I left Jack to sleep. However, upon bringing the loaf a morning treat I noticed he had gone missing....he had gone to find Jack and woke him up by running into the bedroom T^T ahhh loaf I was leaving him to sleep damn it! So that was Jack awake. He was ok about being woken by Oz, said there was worse ways to be woken up XD

This morning I did feel deathy from reflex yesterday and also my head felt a mess. Like I could have cried but I also could have been horrible/mean and I would have enjoyed it. Yeah a real mess.

I decided to get on with my day

I cleaned Oz out

I did 20mins of arms and core workout

I had a shower

I went for my hair cut (the room was 1000c no windows or doors open I sweated to death) I didnt enjoy my hair cut and literally ran out the door, I asked her not to blow dry my hair cus I was so hot. I sweated to death. She had to lift my fringe from my forehead as sweat and stuck it down. 

I had a cup of tea then went on my laptop for a bit and then we had lunch I went to rest on my bed but ached too much to sleep. The whole whole day it has rained. So we have kept Oz in all day

I decided to repot my cacti so I sat and did that. Oz came to see and quickly took a bite out a new cacti T^T I was so sad, Jack chased Oz away.

hes a menace but i love him. Hes had it good today, always does well when its raining damn him.

I didnt do much all afternoon as I was quite dead to be honest. Jack has been doing hours of admin. I did dinner then we went food shopping and I felt done in from that. I got back and had a bath. 

This evening I would like to paint my nails

tomorrow

its fathers day tomorrow, I just gave my dad a bottle wine - done

I already arranged for mum to come over and dye  my hair and have some time away from dad and also I usually see her on a monday but shes got her hair appointment so I cant see her til tuesday so we arranged to do my hair on sunday. But then Jacks mum messaged today offering for us to go over for tea and scones which I would love to do but dont have the energy for that right now. I feel so dead and messed up. So i am gonna stay home and see mum. Its what I want to do. I need to put myself first instead of pleasing others. So Jack is gonna go by himself. 

I have some cooking to do in the morning