Thursday, 12 May 2016

Another fun day with the little'ns

Konbanwa~

We actually had nice weather today massive shock
Last night Karen at yoga literally killed us off
i really enjoyed the session, well at first all i wanted to do was go home
but i stuck it out and i really enjoyed it and the whole class said that too
it was really strange we were all so focused
but today my god do i hurt!!!! It feels like a combination of stabbing pains and growing pains
I could go for a long soak in a hot bath but we dont have one no mores T^T

At school I was in the youngest class again
the teacher gave me a lot of paper work to do but i didnt mind in the least
as i had never seen this kinda paper work before so it was all experience for me
it took me til almost lunchtime. the teacher showed me the display i helped do the other day
its pretty and i felt appreciated ^^
Lunch time came and i sat and ate my dinner outside with another teacher which was alright
i can talk to anyone XD
I went inside afterwards to do another bit of my coursework
but the staff room was so damn noisy so i went in a classroom and sat a teachers desk

The afternoon i was asked to help out with another display which was nice
and just did a few bits with the children. We went outside to read. The year 6 were outside
and called me over they were drawing so i did 10mins of drawing with them X3

Towards the end of the day i got my hours signed by the dept head and i spoke to her
saying id like to try year 5 next. She said it was fine :D but wont happen for a few weeks
but im in no rush, im in year 6 next week
im very lucky to be at this school where im allowed to swap my classes as most schools
keep you to just 1 classroom.
I went to see the head teacher to ask if any summer camps happen during the 6 week summer holidays, and she told me there is and to ask the after school club staff. And she would be happy to give me a reference. I feel during the 6 weeks that i need to keep my body going
ive gotten it used to doing 2 days a week at school i dont want to lose that
so i went to talk to the after school club staff - i usually talk to them anyway actually XD
and i passed on my details and they would let me know
fingers crossed! I told them I didnt want to do for money or anything (in thinking i would have a better chance of being accepted) the head teacher called from the corrider 
"yes you do!!! you want paying!!" -_____- man 

Got home and died
i was done and shattered
and since then i havent done much really~

I was having a think about what karen talked to me about on tuesday
at the weekend her daughter lost a friend who wasnt far off my age just a bit younger
he committed suicide, jumper infront of a train. he couldnt handle his OCD and depression
any longer. it saddened me that he felt it had to come to that. He felt alone.
And it made me think that id like to help those who are my age who suffer mentally.
i told mum this but i said "id probably just end up becoming their friends so theyre not alone"
i know i probably cant do anything to help. But i would love to help just 1 person at least not be alone and to give them friendship and hope. So I had a look online at young peoples mental health community sites but i was coming up short. i couldnt find much. i did find online dating for those with mental health issues and disabilities. that made me think. could i give someone my love who is suffering? I would like to. but what if im not good enough to help? what if i drive them away?
I wasnt sure what to do. I didnt join up to anything especially the dating ones. to sign up to dating websites makes me feel like im actually looking for love XD which im not. 
I guess i just want to help ><

tomorrow might be going clothes shopping with mum
as i havent really got any good t-shirts for school ><

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