monster top

Evening

I jeez I feel awful
i mean I can deal with the aches and stuff
I just hate feeling like im sick
i could tell adam wanted to see me today and when i asked
why he didnt come over he said
"im letting you recover"

Anyway today I havent done a lot
i went out to the pet shop with mum
sat outside a few times with Oz watching him get cocky 
he found the shed today that was fun getting him outta there >.>
rabbits

I got frustrated with sewing
its not going right so im going back to basics tomorrow
doing a very basic design
cus ive had enough now!

I put a pair of pants on today
and like yesterday's pair they didn't fit they felt loose
granted theyre not my best pairs theyre just pants
i told mum she said
"you need to have a baby Jo that will put a figure on you"
i've had a boyfriend for 3 weeks now shes already talking about babies
jesus
she aware im still mentally a child right? and that i have the body of a pre-adolescence girl

hopefully I will feel better tomorrow
my brother said something that cut so deep and it was only a couple of sentences
along the lines of he's seen me do more in the last few weeks
he worries i will go backwards and make myself sick again
telling me he lost a lot of time with out me and doesnt want it to happen again
i think i covered my tears up well
he didnt say it to be mean but that is a very deep wound
not being the sister i was suppose to be for a few years
it was truly a crushing pain
one at the time i couldnt talk or think about with out getting upset
i felt i had failed him

speaking of illness
yesterday when i flaked out on adam
he left me to go downstairs and he spoke with mum
only did i find out this morning about how much she said
jesus he aint gonna want to see me again!!!
she told him about my health that i put too much on myself and he needs
to be strict with me when mum isnt there to be
she said my eating has improved since hes come along
too keep an eye on my eating
she asked for his mobile number as well -_____-
im 25 right? yeah think im 25

anyway moving on
tomorrow is sewing and yoga

a top i got in the post

cool isnt it and only £4.99