Psychodynamic Therapy

Evening~~

I got up this morning at 8am
the morning went pretty slowly
I was getting the odd thing ready for tomorrow

I arrived at therapy a lil early
I was so anxious I was just in knots
I dont know how I even got breakfast down me
She called me through
and she talked about what we had talked about last time
my demons that I never share with anyone 
I showed her some more of my art
one of which she liked (again)
so we talked about that
She got me to speak more about my demons
and how it affects my day to day life

She came to the conclusion that CBT might not be for me...
Apparently my 'condition' needs more specialist help
I am by no means crazy (she says) and my 'condition' is not uncommon
other people do suffer from it I am not alone and there is help out there
but for me to get better I need to be referred to 
Psychodynamic Therapy 
never heard of it
I had to have it explained to me 
but she says what I am presenting to her sounds a lot like 'shadow'
She explained a bit about it and I was shocked when I thought 
''that sounds like me!!''
so I gave her permission to refer me
It could take up to 6 months to be seen though...
So she says in the mean time she will keep seeing me, setting me goals and things to do and stuff, just so im not left alone for months and she says it will be good to start these things before the other therapy but she can not treat my real issues hence why I need the other therapy instead.

I left to get to adam's house
then we went to a lil town
went charity shop shopping of course
picked up a cute necklace, a peach lacy top, a black skirt with birds on
so not a bad turn out all for £9 not bad huh and the skirt was brand new ;) 
We went for a pub lunch
came free with desert which was a brownie chocice I have never had one before
it was good but I didnt want to see food for a long time
the pool table sat free behind us
so we had 1 game which I won - i was on form ;)
next game he won didnt he
at this point I was happy to call it a draw
but no mr.competetive wanted a 3rd game to crown a damn winner
i won X3 have that!!!!

We came back home
I got Oz in my room for adam to play with him
I stitched a couple of buttons on my cosplay and got a few other things ready
then I sat with him and talked and time soon went really 

Then it was yoga which was good actually to say my mind was else where
came home not wanting dinner so i had a piece of bread and soup
i could have gone without but mum doesnt let me off the hook like that
As I had a minute I decided to google "psychodynamic therapy shadow"
and what came up just freaked me out a bit actually
cus it was all me it really was even down to feeling like your demons resemble a wolf
i have drawn 2 wolves now. Just other pieces I read was exactly like me
almost as if I already knew about this and decided to copy it myself
which I obviously didn't
so this therapy looks for me for sure
finally might be getting help for something that has had me for the last 12 years

Anyway tomorrow
big big day! I have been looking forward to it since forever it feels like!!!
I'M GOING MANCHESTER!!!
wooooooo X3 
I can not wait!
although I am incredibly anxious and will be until I get to the hotel
but it will be good im sure
I am back 31st July at lunch time
so no blogging or drawings for a few days
but I will come home with a load of photos ;)

Here is my Arcanine~