Monday, 2 October 2017

Withdrawal Symptoms

Evening all

Yesterday I didn't sleep too bad but i felt quite unwell when i woke up
i ended up going back to bed
i told adam i'd see him at 1pm with Oz
i didnt know what was up with me, so i googled the withdrawal symptoms
of the medication im currently trying to drop and it turns out that is whats up with me
so i think ive been dropping my medication a lil too fast 
1 a week is too quick it seems 

i took Oz up at 1pm then I came home to drop him off and i went up with adam
to the local park for a walk which i enjoyed but it was an effort
then we came back to my house whilst i sorted a few things out for the evening
then went to his house for the evening, i ended up going to sleep for a little bit
i felt and looked like a zombie i must have looked awful
i felt like a junkie all i could think about was when my next medication was due

something weird happened on the way to adam's tho when i was bringing Oz up
a guy say about 19/20 years old was on the corner of the pavement
i was pulling up to the T-junction and he was staring right at me just constantly staring
i had no idea who this guy was, and he walked out in front of a car coming round the corner
luckily the car saw him and stopped and beeped
i just thought "what a freak thats what you get for staring"
why would he have been looking at me?
i said to mum "its probably because i looked so much like a zombie he was surprised to see a zombie driving a car" XD 

I slept really crappy
I was aching and like a junkie i ended up getting up for some pain killers
and a hot chocolate i couldnt stand the pain any longer
and i could feel myself scratching everywhere cus thats what i was do
when im a bit stressed, so i thought id rather have medication than sore skin
But I had to get up at 8am -____-
felt really not that good

I went for acupuncture
i had the spoon treatment but he said the spoon wasnt getting deep enough
so he wanted to use his hands
and for a weedy looking guy i was surprised of his strength!! honestly i thought
he was gonna pull my shoulder from its socket!
i felt like id been ran over afterwards and i still had the needles to endure
i love my life XD

I got home and txted adam that i wasnt coming out
and went to bed
my phone went and woke me it was adam asking if he could come visit
and i could hardly say no i would have felt too bad afterwards
so he came and brought his own lunch so i wouldnt have to make him any
and he insisted on walking home so i didnt have to drive
i did look and feel like a zombie
we just lazed round and talked and fussed my pets
that was it for 3 hours 
it was nice in a way cus i would have spent my afternoon alone
then my family comes in and it all goes stressy
my household is so stressful compared to adam's relaxed atmosphere 
i envy it in a way

i had an early dinner cus i felt like it
recently i could be sick at the sight of some food or even some smells
so i gotta eat when i can
then ive just been making a card for tara and a card for my therapist 
but now id like to dance
im determined to try my best cus lately every time i go to dance i get dizzy and i mess up constantly almost like my head is too fuzzy to remember the moves

tomorrow I have put my self down for available for work
whether i get any will be another story
if not im going to have lunch out with adam and go to a few charity stores 
and then his house then home i believe
so i have options
and it depends if im not a corpse

Here's a really cool necklace I got in the post :D

i love bats~

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