I didnt sleep well despite taking 2 tablets
I was up til 2am
and I am very hungry by which time, I can hear my stomach chewing on it's self
mum woke me this morning before she went to work so I was up at 8:30am
sometimes wish I was working -___-
My morning consisted of
3 toilet trips
no breakfast
drinking a brew outside whilst watching my piglets
dancing for almost an hour
learning a dance from start to finish
recording a dance
completing that online form
researching what dances I wanna learn
showering
all done by 11am
by which time adam was just about up and leaving for the gym
I told him I was drawing and maybe sewing today
so later when he said "what do you wanna do today?" thinking he was seeing me
I said "well ive told you what im doing today"
he said "so youre not seeing me?"
I said "no because you may be happy to doss and do nothing all day but its not good enough for me I cant sit and waste my day i wanna crack on. and 9/10 lately i feel all we do is sit round and its boring"
He said "well youve got to doss some days you cant be doing stuff all day everyday"
i said "I know you cant be doing stuff all day and every day, as for me, just watch me" XD
and left him at that, he left me a text saying he loves me
its just dull you know? i know EXACTLY how it would have panned out today if i had seen cus it would have been just like any other Tuesday
we would have met after his 1 hour session in the gym, gone to his were his dad has the day off and just sit in the living room playing happy families. and im sick of that crap. its a waste of life. im sick of pleasing people and looking like court jester to their family. i want to do what i want to do.
so im doing is basically sod everyone.
i mean yes we COULD have gone out dont get me wrong there was nothing stopping us going out as it was sunny out and stuff. Just one little thing that annoys me with that is, well actually 2 things
1. I would be the one coming up with ideas on where to go what to do
2. I would be the one taking us and bringing us back in my car
sick of it.
So I did what I wanted to do
I got a fair bit of drawing done and designing done
I can't sew until I have received the lace in the post which shouldnt be too long now
I made myself salad for my dinner, so Im eating a different dinner to my family
I had the last portion of soup so ive got to make some for tomorrow
I am seeing my bestest sister tonight Mia I have plenty to tell her
I sat with my Ozwald
tomorrow looks like I will be popping to a few shops with mummy
as we need something for karen's birthday
and then I might do some more drawing i know adam will want to see me
but its whether i want to see him
I did txt him basically saying that we're two different people he is content to spend his days doing nothing but its not good enough for me, i will get annoyed at wasting my day and i will probably from there get annoyed at him so to stop me doing that we're best off doing different things now again. He says hes fine and understands
Oh and here's me I took a photo of myself on saturday i was in seifuku
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