thats 2 nights on the trot ive lost sleep over this damn interview!!
ahhhh stressing
Anyway so last night I was in a mood like I had been all weekend
I some how found the strength (even through the unbearable heat) to dance
and i danced with my bedroom door open (i NEVER do that with family home) and I danced where I could be seen in my bedroom by my parents who were outside in the garden (i am never on show when I dance!)
I just got on with it really not caring cus i know im not brilliant at dancing but its fun and I felt i had to do something to make me smile once again
and it did
and before I knew it the loneliness disappeared i wasnt alone anymore in my self
I felt better for it but my god was i sweaty! shower was needed!
this morning was school
and whereas i wasnt particularly looking forward to my trip to school and bumping into the head teacher i felt fine about it all since last night really
so i walked into school fine
the head teacher pounced on me saying thanks for agreeing to the interview
i said i was nervous he told me not to be that id be fine
i had a lot of staff asking me if i had gotten an interview
they clearly must like me is my guess
the teacher ive been working with talked to me about my interview and i told her what planning i had done so far she said if i showed her the curriculum sheet i was given in the email that she'd give me a help with it! so much kindness ^^
we had maths and english this morning as per usual
at lunch i went on my laptop (very rushed lunch) and printed out the sheet
i came back to school and the teacher did help me and i felt better after it as it had given me some help, guidance and understanding of just what i needed to achieve.
the afternoon consisted of a very hot green house like classroom, the kids were hot and clearly didnt want to work cus lets face it who wants a whole afternoon dedicated to english when its hot and should have been doing ICT.
I came home
hot
but waiting to shower til late tonight
i couldnt sit still
even tho i was tired
mum said she's finding me hard to deal with
shes reaching out to friends who may know therapists as the hypnotherapist never got back to us, one person gave me a website about DID and ive tried to read some but my brain is fried with other stuff right now but i will read it eventually its called pods-online
I sat doing my worksheet for the lesson ive got to give in my interview
ive also sat and taught myself how to do long multiplication as i can never bloody do it
and i know i will probably end up getting a question in the maths section of my interview
dont wanna look too stupid
but a TA told me today that i dont have to get 10/10 on my maths just as long as i get some right and show understanding. made me feel 1000x better!
my piggies had to wait patiently to out as they hadnt been outside since 8am and had to wait til gone 6:30pm. with it being sunny and 28c it wasnt safe for them to be outside
so im keeping an eye on them bless em
I rescheduled my appointment with my psychologist and as predicted i have to wait to 2 weeks to see Mr. Important. load of crap. he does nothing anyway!
tonight
hmmm tonight what shall i do~~
its a lil hot and humid for a run i reckon unless i go late late
or i could dance
i could even try my yosakoi as its only dad in and i doubt he'd hear my naruko XD
finding it hard but wanna do it!
tomorrow is school then practising a bit more maths
New school shoes!
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