Don't want tomorrow to come!

Evening~~

I actually didn't sleep too bad
the help the staff had given me in regards to my interview 
had helped me and sorted stuff out in my head


It was another hot hot day!
seriously its too hot
staff dont wanna work
kids dont wanna learn
so why dont we all go home?

So my morning started off with hmmm let me think
ahh it was maths of course! and followed by, could it be?
it couldnt possibly
yup English!
jesus
it wasnt too bad tho

I saw the dept head and I said a polite energetic "morning" to him
he turned to me "you wont be feeling this good tomorrow morning"
ack! how dare he!! challenge accepted
i said "im not losing to you! i will be just fine!"
yup thats my feisty side...talking to a dept head like that... 
he did say when i was talking to him later that he's keen to find about
the japanese dancing i do...i had put that under my 'hobbies' in the application form
i was really shocked he'd remembered what i had written!

I came home for lunch and had the house to myself for half of lunch
I went back to school to find I was in year 6 for the first half of the afternoon
put with 2 children, one of which does grate on my nerves
nice kid, just really annoying
2nd part of my afternoon went to a year 3 boy
i had to literally follow him and his group round a field whilst he filled in a work sheet with 2 year 2 girls who had come up with their class to learn about theyre new school and this kid who i havent worked with before did my nut in. i d had enough of him

school ended and i was sure to thank the teacher for all her input
i also walked out of school thinking
"it really is pot luck what kinda kid you have, what if i have a kid and it ends up being a total brat like the ones today?" not worth it
if i want kids
adopt
simple
i can pick them then XD

I came home and had a brew and quick moan about my day to mum
i dont know how but we got on to the subject of my mental health
and i was talking about it
she is finding it difficult, hard and tiring
i feel sorry for her and im not sure what it is i can do to help really

it was 28c outside but i went for a run
my god a bit stupid but did it anyway
i ran to the skate park and went to see my brother for the first time on his bmx at a skate park, luckily there was only one of his friends with him so i didnt embarrass him too much
i ran home, rather red in the face and dived in the shower
i was hot! i cooled down eventually

i printed out the sheets i need for tomorrow
the sheets i made ready for my interview lesson i have to do
i had dinner and after dinner i sat did some maths cus some stuff i suck at
but i have a better understanding now
im gonna have another go at it tomorrow morning so its fresh in my mind

so tomorrow i do not want to wake up
not in the slightest
i have a blood test at 9am
jesus a bloody blood test that sodding early
i hate it i really hate it
mum hates it as she has to take me and deal with me!
hopefully i will behave and be ok
then im coming home, showering the sweat off me from blood test
getting the final few things ready for my interview
have lunch if i can stomach it then go for my interview at 1pm
crapping myself
i will know by the end of the day if i have job or not
im fine ether way i really honestly am
i can only do my best

tonight mia wanted to see me
but i had stuff to do, i wasnt in the mood to talk as i felt too distracted
adam keeps telling me he's missing me
i brushed him off saying "probably only cus im a source of entertainment for you" knowing he'd watched tv and dossed all day he said "no its cus i love you and want to give you hugs and kisses" ehhh i dont need any of that right now. I didnt lie to him and say "that would be lovely i want to give you hugs and kisses back" i just kept pushing him away
as usual really
mum said today she doesnt know why adam is still hanging around
any other person would have had enough by now