Few things to try

Evening

Once again Im different again today
I differ within the day and differ day to day
its exhausting 
but i suppose i aught to be grateful that im a bit better today
not perfect but things have been better

I woke up at 7am and knew I couldnt go for a run
as I had karen this morning
so I sat and drew a design on one canvas and i did a few bits round the house
then I set off for Karen's house

It was good to see her
she wanted to know all thats going on with me and i felt i had to tell her
i didnt really want to talk about it as i hate talking about me and my illnesses
she was sad that i didnt have more positive news to tell her
we talked about various things and then I set off for home
saw mum for half hour whilst i ate lunch then she set off for karens
funny how we both had an appt the same day XD

i decided that i would go pick adam up from work
i wasnt doing much else and it would mean me being by myself for a while
so thats what i did i wasnt in the house long after id been karens
i met adam and he was happy id come to pick him up
he smelt like a chip as he'd been working on the snack bar
i took him straight home so he could shower it off

we sat and had a brew but i noticed adam wasnt that talkative 
then we said we'd  pop out to the shops cus adam needed some bits
im always taxi you know
i think he no longer wants to drive, well i get that impression
wish he'd never told me that he'd do his driving test
feel its let me down
so anyway we went round shops then i thought about going back to his but i could not face going back there, sitting on the sofa with his dad watching Tour de France
i cant bare any more time of that
so i took us to my house

we sat and had a drink then went for a walk i let adam play pokemon go
just cus i thought it might cheer him up and it did
he barely spoke when me and mum were talking
he's not big on joining in conversations but it was like even more so today
im always doing the talking for us both 

then i took him home after our walk really
then i sat round reading before dinner
i was hungry but id only eaten a bowl of cereal all day and some biscuits
not a fan of food lately and my brain keeps telling me i weigh 10x what i do
its getting drilled in nicely how fat i am

then tonight i was just talking to mum on her bed
i told her that id researched the buddist Temple her friend told me to look at 
theres an afternoon drop in friday afternoon im thinking of attending to 
she told me to give it a go
and karen had said to both me and mum that i should try volunteering down
at Stone Bridge City Farm
its a city farm and its free and run by volunteers most of which have some form of disability and or mental illness and i could choose where i help out and when
so i believe me and mum are gonna try get down there tomorrow and ask out
ive been before when i was really sick, mum would take me there to get me out the house not that i was well enough to volunteer back then, but at least i know what the place looks like

so i feel i have a couple things to try, its more than what ive had up to now

tomorrow im going to the farm in the morning then i hope to see adam in the afternoon
not sure what i will do exercise wise 
if i wake up early enough i will run if not i will dance whilst my mum pops out shopping
we shall see, ive missed it today but glad i at least did a walk 

my nails this week, tried a bubble effect using acrylic paint