Went to the farm

Evening~

I keep waking so damn early -_____-
im tired cus of that and cus of my medication
so tired

So my morning took a lot of effort
i had worn these new shoes on a walk with adam yesterday
the same shoes that gave me blisters the other week
and i could tell yesterday they were making my feet walk on the inside arches
this morning my god the joints in my knee caps hurt!
to walk up and downstairs hurt!!!
so i decided that a run was out the question 
I cleaned my pets out and then did some dancing really
didnt do a lot of dancing as i was just shattered 

me and mum went to the farm to go check out volunteering
its a very small farm and theres next to no where to park round there
we spoke to a woman about volunteering there
she says theres always work there and to fill out a form and ring some guy up
i could pick and area id want to work but there would be no guarantee that id get that area
seemed ok but most im willing to do is a morning a week so far as it doesnt look
overly exciting and im worried about how my germ thing is gonna work
cus walking away from there made me want to wash my hands and i didnt touch anything

we came home and i went to bed
sod it
i was that drained of life i had to sleep
i woke up to find the hair dresser was here early for mum
i struggled to get any lunch cus they take up the whole god damn kitchen
what more was that she always blocks my car in
always
so shes there dying my mums hair and i cant get out
she said "take my keys move it" no way freakin way
shes got a brand new car like this year new 
i wasnt touching that
so i waited
and i waited
45mins in total i waited until luckily my dad came home and moved
my mums car off the drive way so i could get round the hairdressers car
he had ago at me of course he did, a day doesnt go by he has to have a go at me
but if it makes his day better so be it
i got to adams in such a mood
dangerous mood id say
i was prepared to rip heads off i literally was
i could feel my blood boiling 
i told him i was annoyed but i was so annoyed i didnt want to speak
he cuddled me on his bed and after a bit of time passed i could release the mood
and it did pass eventually and i could tell him what got me in such a state
stupid isnt it
in the grand scheme of things what had happened wasnt very big at all but thats the way
my mentalness takes me sometimes, no logic in it

we had a brew and we talked trainers with his dad as he dad used to run loads 
when he was younger and he still runs now just nothing like he used to
so he was educating me on trainers 
then we went to play crash bandicoot we got another section done and i did 2 levels!
i didnt want to come home really

my brother comes home tonight!
i probably wont see him by time he gets in as hes a bit late getting in
and his plane was delayed by an hour
so i will see him tomorrow
or unless he makes loads of noise coming in i might get up

tomorrow
im unsure as of yet what to do tomorrow 
not sure if i will run yet im hoping so and i think ive got yoga if karen is back
she technically should be back now
im thinking of maybe going city centre too cus i need joggers and trainers for running
not ideal shopping but im struggling now

not sure what to do tonight
whether to run or dance or paint